老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E15

Part 1 April 12, 2020, 10:01 a.m.

周日早上孩子们居然还在睡
I cannot believe the kids are still asleep on a Sunday.
我知道感觉真好
I know, this is nice.
只有我俩
Just the two of us.
可以说是浪漫
It's romantic, even.
那是什么
What's that?
是我的手太早了吗
My hand-- too early?
不那是你父母的房♥车
No, no, that's your parents' RV.
什么
What?
我以为他们在周游全国
I thought they were driving around the country,
在快车道开着40码的速度
going 40 in the fast lane
在普通眼镜上戴着巨大的太阳镜
and wearing giant sunglasses over their regular glasses.
我妈上周从圣达菲打电♥话♥给我
Well, my mom called me from Santa Fe last week.
她只说从和气的墨西哥女士手中买♥♥辣酱
All she talked about was buying salsa from a nice Mexican lady.
他们为什么总是说事的时候
Why do they always have to mention the ethnicity
要提及别人的种族
of the people in their stories?
因为他们是老年白人
Because they're old white people.
他们就是这样
That's what they do.
我刚才做了一样的事
Oh, man, that's what I just did.
等等你去哪
Oh, wait. Whoa, whoa, where are you going?
-欢迎他们 -等等
- To welcome them. u202d- Oh, oh, wait.
你出去前我要跟你说
Before you go out there, I should probably mention
我没告诉他们你回去上班了
that I never told them about you going back to work
我在照看孩子
and me watching the kids.
什么为什么没说
What? Well, why not?
如果我说了他们就会唠叨个没完
I knew if I told them, I would never hear the end of it.
而且我想也许他们回来时
Plus, I thought maybe by the time they got back,
你回去上班的事
this whole thing with you going back to work
可能就平息了
would've blown over.
我的梦想和志向
My dreams and aspirations
就这么平息了
would've just blown over?
对事情会平息
Yeah, things blow over.
就像你现在的感觉
Like the way you're feeling right now.
平息了
Blow it over!
-他们在啊 -妈爸
- Oh, there they are! - u202dMom, Dad,
-真是意外 -乔
- what a surprise. u202d- Hi, Joe.
真高兴见到你
Good to see you.
看你
u202dLook at you.
贝弗
Hi, Bev. u202d
得了吻意大利婆婆的脸颊怎么行
Oh, come on. You don't kiss an Italian mama on the cheek.
-要亲嘴亲嘴才热情 -好的
- The lips-- we want the lips. - Oh, okay.
看你的老婆
Ah, look at your wife.
一天比一天漂亮就像那个女演员
She gets prettier every day, like that actress.
贝弗她叫什么来着电影里的
Bev, what's her name? From the movies.
-凯瑟琳·泽塔·琼斯 -不有牙齿的那个
- Catherine Zeta Jones. - No, the one with teeth.
她们都有牙齿
They all have teeth.
茱莉娅·罗伯茨
Uh, Julia Roberts!
你真像茱莉娅·罗伯茨
You look just like Julia Roberts.
哪有
Oh, come on.
也许有一点
You know, maybe a little.
瞧你
And you.
已经尽力保持了
Well, you're doing the best you can.
但你有她真是赚到了
But you really punched above your weight with this one.
你们回匹兹堡做什么
So, uh, what are you guys doing back in Pittsburgh?
旅途暂停下
It's just a pit stop on our way
然后去看全世界最大的巧克力块
to see the world's largest Hershey bar.
有桌子那么大
It's as big as a table.
-小桌子 -对
- A small table. u202d- Yeah.
或是一本大书但出于某种原因还是要去看
Or a large book, but we still want to see it for some reason.
爸爸的背需要休息下
Oh, and Dad's back needed a rest.
-路上全是坑 -对
- Those roads are full of potholes. - Yeah.
谢你全家奥巴马
Thanks, Obama.
对了我们进来时你家邮箱
Oh, by the way, your mailbox jumped out in front of me
跳到车前未能生还
on the way in. It didn't make it.
你们给我们带了礼物吗
Did you bring us any presents?
当然带了包在你这里贝弗
Of course we did. You got the bag, Bev.
我们来看看
Ooh, let's see.
给泰迪看看
For Teddy, take a look at this.
我也有这个泰迪
Oh, I had one of those, Teddy.
是弹簧刀一样的梳子
It's a switchblade comb.
或者只是弹簧刀
Or just a switchblade.
谢谢
Wow! Thanks!
谢谢
Thanks!
送刀给我儿子
Yeah, a knife for my son
他玩呼啦圈都会割伤自己
who cut himself on a Hula-Hoop.
凯特来点
And, Kate, how about
正宗肯州烟火怎么样
some genuine Kentucky fireworks?
这是火箭筒
Whoa, these are bottle rockets!
要来真格的了泰迪
It's about to get real, Teddy.
我们没忘记你小花生
We haven't forgotten about you, Peanut.
把他拿出来贝弗
Oh! u202dBring him out, Bev.
他
Him?
一只乌龟
A turtle.
这是我们在路边捡到的
Yeah, that's an endangered tortoise
濒临灭绝的乌龟
we found on the side of the road.
电子追踪标签不容易弄下来
It was hard to get that little electronic tag off it,
好在有泰迪的弹簧刀
but luckily, we had Teddy's switchblade.
你们上楼去
Okay, why don't you guys run upstairs,
妈妈和我
and Mommy and I will
会把这些捐给贫困的罪犯孩子
donate these to needy criminal children.
你们爸妈真是老古板
Your parents are a couple of squares!
妈爸
Mom! Dad!
这个帅哥是谁
Oh, who is this handsome guy?
是汤姆·谢立克还是我的儿子
Is it Tom Selleck or my son?
是我我是唐
It's me! It's Don!
汤姆·谢立克
Tom Selleck?
我吃芝士条的样子都更像汤姆·谢立克
I've eaten Cheetos that look more like Tom Selleck.
他们觉得我像茱莉娅·罗伯茨
They think I look like Julia Roberts.
乔贝弗你们回来了真好
Joe, Bev, so great that you're back!
别担心
Oh, well, don't worry.
我们不会指望住你家
We won't be expecting to stay at your house.
我知道你注意隐私
We know you like your privacy.
贝弗那是20年前的事了
Oh, Bev, that was almost 20 years ago.
是吗
Was it? Wow.
好像昨天发生的一样
Seems like yesterday.
乔你还记得玛茜让我们住酒店
Joe, do you remember when Marcy put us up in a hotel
不住他们家吗
instead of letting us stay with them?
-像昨天的事 -瞧
- Like it was yesterday. - u202dSee?
公路旅行怎么样
So how's the road trip going?
坐
Have a seat. u202d
从文化角度讲很有教育意义
Culturally speaking, it's been quite an education.
我们长了不少见识
We have seen some things. u202d
我们路经亚利桑那州的加油站
We stopped at a gas station in Arizona.
他们有五种不同口味的牛肉干
They got five different flavors of jerky. u202d
-在东海岸可见不到 -对
- You just don't see that on the East Coast. - u202dNo.
他们还有照烧酱口味
They even had teriyaki.
真有异国风情
Very exotic. u202d
知道吗现在的牛肉干都是中国制♥造♥了
You know, all jerky's made in China now, right?
不我不知道
Uh, no, I wasn't aware of that.
他们用照烧酱把我们的脸
Yeah, they're just rubbing it in our faces
打得啪啪的
with this teriyaki stuff.
这里有什么新闻
So, what's new around here?
亚当有些
Oh, well, um, Adam's got some
有趣的事要说对吗亲爱的
fun news to tell you about, right, honey?
-没 -有
- No, I don't. u202d- Yes, you do.
-有 -没
- Yes, you do. u202d- No, I don't.
-没 -有
- No, I don't. No, I don't. - Yes, you do.
-我能陪你玩一辈子 -好
- I will keep going. - u202dOh. Fine.
安迪回实验室上班了
Uh, yeah, uh, Andi has gone back to work at the lab,
所以孩子们放学后是我在照顾
so I'm taking care of the kids after school and stuff.
你照顾孩子们
You're taking care of the kids?