老爸有招

Man with a Plan S03E01

Part 1 April 11, 2020, 12:18 p.m.

房♥子翻新的很不错
Hey, the flip-house looks great.
你在做打扫
Are you cleaning?
不是我是在打劫我当然是在打扫
No, I'm robbing the place. Yes, I'm cleaning.
明天开始安迪要跟我们一起工作了
Andi starts work with us tomorrow,
你们知道今天凌晨两天我意识到了什么吗
and you know what I realized at 2:00 this morning?
我根本没考虑清楚
I didn't think this through.
我基本什么都考虑不清楚没
Well, I don't think anything through
但还是沾枕头就睡的人
and I sleep like a baby.
她会一直在这里了
She's gonna be here all the time.
我想到个解决办法就是妻子防护
So I came up with a solution, I'm wife-proofing.
就像婴儿防护似的让你免遭痛哭流涕之苦
Oh, it's like baby-proofing, but so you don't end up crying.
对看看我们的冰箱
Exactly. Hey, like, look at our fridge, huh?
全是工作用啤酒
It's full of work beers.
老婆可不懂工作用啤酒的概念
Wives don't understand the concept of work beers.
在NASA的太空航行地面指挥中心里都有免费酒吧
At NASA, they had an open bar in mission control
他们还是能稳稳地登陆月球
and they still landed on the moon.
他们应该没有吧
I don't think they had that.
我了解宇宙的事都是我擅长的知道吗
I know space history, that's my area, okay?
得把这些猪柳汉堡的包装纸扔了
I've got to get rid of these Sausage McMuffin wrappers.
安迪看着我在家吃早餐的
Andi sees me have breakfast at home,
她不需要知道我还有第二顿早餐
she doesn't need to know I have second breakfast here.
安迪不会生气的
Andi won't be mad;
不过是第二顿早餐又不是第二个老婆
it's a second breakfast, not a second wife.
她不会生气的
No, she won't get mad,
但是她会因为这件事来跟我谈
but she will want to have a conversation about it.
你为什么要吃第二顿早餐
"Why do you need a second breakfast?"
暴饮暴食是心情不好吗
"Are you swallowing feelings?"
重点是
The problem is,
老婆总是要查这个问题的水到底多深
wives want to dive into stuff.
但是男人世界的问题压根没有深水区
But there's no deep end in the man pool.
全都是儿童池的深度
It's three feet all the way across.
我们简简单单但是能把工作做完
We keep it simple, and we get stuff done, huh?
提醒我了
Oh, which reminds me.
要是安迪在这里我们提前收工了怎么办
u202dWhat do we do if Andi's here and we get done with work early?
老规矩去击球场吃热狗
We hit the batting cages, eat some hotdogs.
吃第二顿早餐你教我的
Second lunch, you taught me that.
不因为安迪会想为什么
No, no, because then Andi will wonder
我愿意跟男的混在一起
why do I want to hang out with the guys?
而不是赶快回家
Why don't I want to be home?
所以从现在开始
So from now on,
如果我们提前收工了就说
if we finish work early, we say,
我们还是有史以来第一次提前收工呢
"Wow, we finished work early for the first time ever.
我们赶紧回家陪家人吧
Let's rush right home and be with our families." Hmm?
听起来不像我们
That doesn't sound like us.
我们得给卖♥♥热狗的打个电♥话♥
We're gonna have to call the hotdog guy
让他知道我们还活着
and let him know we're okay.
大唐我有坏消息
Also, Don, I have terrible news.
你必须把工具女郎的日历摘下来
You have to take down your tool girl calendar.
不要这可是小唐唐的天使们
No. Not Donny's Angels.
我可以把淘气的部分折起来盖上
I'll just put Post-its over their naughty bits,
再像掀小裙子一样看她们
and then we can lift them up like little skirts.
如果你不拿下来安迪就会问了
If you don't take it down, Andi's gonna have questions.
你为什么有看别的女人的需求
"Why do you feel the need to look at other women?"
玛茜满足不了你吗
"Is Marcy not enough for you?"
我爱玛茜她要拍日历我肯定买♥♥
I love Marcy. When she makes a calendar, I'll buy that.
拿下来
Take it down.
别放到你的桌子里
And don't put it in your desk;
不然你一整天都会把脑袋埋进抽屉里
you'll spend all day with your head in the drawer.
爸谢谢你送孩子们去学校
Hey, Dad, thanks for taking the kids to school.
乐意帮忙这是你第一天和老婆一起工作
u202dMy pleasure.It's your first day working with your wife,
所以我现在想跟你说此生很高兴认识你
so I wanted to be here to say "Nice knowing you."
我应该没事吧
I think I'll be all right.
你们即将日日夜夜都在待在一起
You're gonna be together all day, every day.
她就有机会长时间观察你
She's gonna get a real long look at you.
她们看得越久看得就越多
And the more they look, the more they see.
你面前的可是我啊
Who're you talking to, huh?
我已经给拖车里做好妻子防护准备了
I already wife-proofed the trailer.
我像好丈夫一样把东西♥藏♥起来了
I hid stuff like a good husband.
早上好小伙子们
Good morning, fellas.
开始了亲爱的
This is it, honey.
我们一起工作
You and me working together.
我们在办公室可以拉手吗可能不行
Hey, can we hold hands at the office? Probably not.
我不会的也许会不知道你也很兴奋吧
I won't. I might. I don't know. Aren't you excited?
当然了兴奋我特别兴奋
Of course I am. Yeah. I'm so excited,
我现在就要拉起你的手
I am gonna hold your hand right now,
感觉如何
what do you think of that?
我喜欢
I like it.
一起工作现在就这么开心
Working together's already so fun.
慢慢来吧
Give it time.
大家好我们给你们做了点东西
Hey, guys, we made you something.
什么
Wh...?
给爸妈的午餐盒酷
Mom and Dad lunch boxes. Cool.
你们真是太贴心了
You guys are so sweet.
看到你们一起
Well, we just think it's great
开启这个新篇章真是太好了
you guys are starting this new chapter together.
一定会非常好的
It's going to be wonderful.
我爱你们祝你们今天在学校过得开心
Well, we love you guys. Have a great day at school.
打赌他们今天肯定没我们过得开心
I bet their day won't be as great as ours.
绝对没有
Uh, definitely not.
你们真是太可爱了
You guys are adorable.
好好上学
Have fun.
我赌20 他们撑不过一个礼拜
20 bucks says they won't make it a week.
我跟你赌
I'll take that action.
老爸有招
第三季第一集
她来了
Here she is.
让我们热烈欢迎
Can we get a warm welcome
新室内设计师安迪·伯恩斯
for our new interior decorator, Andi Burns?
我说真的鼓掌
I mean it, clap.
谢谢谢谢
Thank you, thank you.
别把我宠坏了否则你们每天都得鼓掌
Don't get me used to that or you'll have to do it every day.
天啊这里真干净
Man, it's clean in here.
是吗
Is it?
大唐的裸女日历呢
Hey, where is Don's nudie calendar?
被我取下来了因为
Oh. Oh, I took that down because I got tired
我看腻了半裸的姑娘
of looking at half-naked ladies.
人总得长大嘛
You got to grow up sometime.
我们特别为他骄傲
We're so proud of him. u202d
你是不是为我改变了这里
Did you change things for me?
是不是做了妻子防护工作
I mean, did you, like, wife-proof?
妻子防护
Wife-proof?
那是什么
What's that?
你别乱编词啊
You can't just make up words.
听着亲爱的别把我当成你老婆好吗
Listen, honey, don't think of me as your wife here, okay?
什么都不用变
Nothing has to change.
我和你们是一样的
I am just one of the guys.
既然你和我们是一样的我得告诉你
Well, since you're one of the guys, I should tell you
今天有个人的老婆要来你表现好点
that somebody's wife is coming in today, so be cool.
我认真的我可以混
I'm serious, I can hang.
太好了那我把日历挂回来
Then great. I'm gonna put my calendar back up.
长大也不耽误我喜欢它
I didn't grow out of it at all.
如果说长大有什么改变就是我更喜欢了
If anything, the older I get, the more I need it.
不过它会让我想到
Although, it does make me wonder,
你为什么需要看那些姑娘呢
why do you feel the need to look at those girls?
开始了
There it is.
老婆就是老得提问
You can't say "Wife" Without "Why."
小唐唐的天使是小唐唐的事
Hey, Donny's Angels are Donny's business.
也许亚当担心你在这里工作是对的
Maybe Adam was right to be worried about you working here.
他说他担心了
He said he was worried?
你说你很兴奋
You told me you were excited.
我是很兴奋
I-I am excited.