老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E21

Part 2 April 12, 2020, 10:02 a.m.

我已经有14年
I have not gone to the bathroom in 14 years
每次上厕所都有只小手从门下伸进来
without a little hand sliding under the door.
我觉得就按我的手♥机♥计划来
Look, I say we do my phone thing.
那个你最近一次家教成果
Okay. Well, since your last parenting gem
是骂了一个坐轮椅的孩子
was heckling a wheelchair kid...
我觉得这次还是由我来带头好吗
...I think I'm gonna take the lead on this one. u202dOkay?
我觉得我们给她一些自♥由♥
I say that we give her some freedom
然后让她从错误中学习进步
and let her learn from her mistakes.
这不就是什么也不做只不过好听点
That's just... fancy doing nothing!
你把艾玛的艺术创作忘掉了
Hey, you left Emme's artwork behind.
谢谢洛厄尔
Oh, thanks, Lowell. u202dMm-hmm.
他们还真是把艺术这两个字随便乱扔
Boy, they really throw the word "Art" Around down there.
洛厄尔我问你
Hey, Lowell, let me ask you:
你绝不觉得翻看女儿的手♥机♥
don't you think it's an invasion of privacy
是侵犯隐私
to look through your daughter's phone?
拜托要是可以的话我恨不得
Please. If I could, I'd put a GPS microchip
在女儿身上装定位芯片就像狗身上那种
in my girls like they do with dogs.
不过我跟兽医谈过这事
But I spoke to my vet about it,
从此以后我们的关系就很紧张了
and our relationship has been strained ever since.
听到了吗
You hear that?
外面多得是比我还疯狂的爹
There's dads way crazier than me out there.
谢谢洛厄尔
Thanks, Lowell.
往孩子身上装芯片的事有进展记得告诉我
Let me know if you make any progress on chipping your kids.
瑞典那有个哥们应该可以
I think there's a guy in Sweden.
我告诉你不能让凯蒂骗了我们
Well, I'm telling you, we can't just let Katie lie to us
还不用承担后果
with no consequences, okay?
得让她知道我们比她聪明
She has to know we're smarter than her.
那我妥协一下好吗
Okay, here's my compromise, all right?
我不会翻查她手♥机♥
I-I won't go into her phone,
不过手♥机♥上有追踪应用
but it does come with a tracking app,
我们可以打开看她都去哪里了
so we can turn it on and see where she goes.
好的我同意
Wow. Okay. I'm in.
我们之间要不要也打开
Hey, should we do that to each other's phones?
安全起见
You know, for safety?
我已经把你的打开了
I already did it to yours.
你经常去卜派炸鸡
You go to Popeyes Chicken a lot.
好的凯蒂睡着了
Okay, Kate's asleep.
很好我们溜进去拿到她手♥机♥
Okay, great. So we sneak in, grab the phone,
打开追踪模式把手♥机♥放回去溜出来
turn on the tracking, put the phone back, sneak out,
看完《购♥房♥♥者》节目睡觉
finish House Hunters International, fall asleep.
好
Right.
-准备好了吗 -开始吧
- You ready? u202d- Yep. Let's do it.
-好等下等下 -怎么了
- Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait. - What?
我想告诉你有时候我去卜派炸鸡
You should know that sometimes when I go to Popeyes,
-只是为了买♥♥汽水 -好吧
- it's just to get a soda. - Okay.
要是自带杯子也就五十美分
u202dYeah, and if you bring your own cup, it's only 50 cents.
-能开始了吗 -好我准备好了
- Can we go now? u202d- Yeah, yeah, I'm ready. Let's go. Okay. u202d
-等等 -什么
- Wait, wait, wait. u202d- What?
你玩我呢啊
You have got to be kidding me.
是的
I am.
好吧玩得不错
That is a good one.
好的那开始吧
Right. All right, let's go.
你们在干什么
What are you guys doing?
梦游呢
Uh, sleepwalking.
同时梦游
At the same time.
对我们形影不离
Yeah, we do everything together.
不并不是
No, no, not really.
你♥爸♥就喜欢半夜乱开玩笑
You know, Dad and his midnight jokes.
他其实是在"梦笑"
More like sleep-joking.
我手♥机♥为什么在你们那里
Why do you have my phone?
我找不到我手♥机♥了
Uh, well, I couldn't find mine,
就想用你手♥机♥给我打个电♥话♥ 听听响动
so we thought we'd use yours to call mine and get it to ring.
为什么不直接用我妈手♥机♥
Why couldn't you just use Mom's phone?
因为她手♥机♥跟我的在一起
Because her phone is with mine.
连我们的手♥机♥都是形影不离
Even our phones do everything together.
好的我们把手♥机♥还给你
Hey, well, we'll just give you this back
你去睡觉吧好嘞
and-and you can go to sleep. Right.
也许... 你已经睡着了
Or... are you already asleep?
这一切都是梦
This might all be a dream.
晚安
Nighty night.
简直惨烈
Well, that was a disaster.
也没那么惨
Well, not entirely.
你跟凯特说话转移了她的注意力
While you were talking to Kate and she was distracted,
我把她手♥机♥打开了追踪模式
I managed to turn on the tracking
然后才还给她的
before we gave her the phone back.
看不出来啊
Get out!
是不是挺厉害
Pretty good, huh?
是啊弥补了你那一套...
Yeah, yeah, really makes up for the...
我不是激动了嘛
I get excited!
我把泰迪和艾米放在你♥爸♥妈家了
Okay, I dropped Teddy and Emme off at your parents,
我们有一整天时间可以追踪凯蒂
so we have all day to track Kate.
好的凯蒂离开的时候
Okay, great. Yeah, when Katie left,
她说会在曼迪家待一天
she said she was gonna hole up at Mandy's
因为要一起做学校的项目
because they have some school project.
-骗人 -是啊
- Lie. - u202dYeah.
我就问 "还会去其他地方吗"
So I said, "Are you going anywhere else?"
她说"不会"
She said, "No."
骗人
Lie.
我又说 "要是出去的话打给我"
Mm-hmm. So I said, "You call me if you do."
她说"好的"
She said, "Okay."
大骗子
Big lie.
是啊
Yeah.
就这么一分钟的对话里
That's one minute of conversation,
三个谎言简直是连中三柱
three possible lies. That's a hat trick.
真想赶紧抓住她
Man, I can't wait to catch her. u202dHuh.
对到时候你帮我和她拍张照
Ooh, and then you can take a picture of me with her
-假装我抓了条大鱼 -行
- like I caught a big fish. - Yeah.
好了来看看她到底在哪里
All right, let's find out where she really is.
-准备开启真♥相♥之门 -对
- Time to press the button of truth. - Okay. u202d
上面怎么显示
What does it say?
-显示她就在我们身后 -什么
- Says she's right behind us. - What? Oh... u202d
骗到你了
I got you.
好上面说她在...
Okay. It says she's at, uh...
米克啤酒屋
Mick's Ale House.
是个酒吧
That's a bar.
酒吧还不如掉进沟里呢
A bar? That's worse than a ditch!
我们得赶紧去接她
We got to go get her right now.
她认识曼迪以前从来不去酒吧
She never went to a bar before she was friends with Mandy.
是啊绝对不能让女儿交给这种
Yeah, never trust your daughter with someone
"去过旧金山"的朋友
who's "Been to San Francisco."
米克啤酒屋
她在那儿天哪谢天谢地她没事
There she is. Oh, my God. Thank God she's okay.
我要杀了她
I'm gonna kill her.
听我说现在必须得放大招了
Know what? Now it's time to really lower the boom.
对第一次只是练习现在热身完毕了
Yeah, that first time was just practice; we are warmed up now.
小妞你马上跟我们回家
You're coming home with us, young lady.
好啊
Okay.
抱歉我们认错人了
I'm sorry. You know, w-we thought you were someone else.
这里叫什么名字来着
What's the name of this place, again?
打死也不会来酒吧
The Over My Dead Body Bar.
就是这个没错
That's it. Yeah, yeah.
什么样的人会堕落到上午十一点半
I mean, what kind of degenerates hang out in a bar
来逛酒吧
11:30 in the morning?
你们好
Hey, guys.
你的答案来了
Well, that answers that.
你们怎么会来这里
What are you guys doing here?
你怎么会在这里
What are you doing here?
我参加了飞镖联赛
Well, I'm in the dart league
就是之前劝你赞助的那个
that I talked you into sponsoring.
飞镖联赛
Dart league?
你之前说是少年棒球联合会[小联赛]