老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E04

Part 2 April 12, 2020, 9:59 a.m.

别说囤积狂我不是囤积狂
Don't say Hoarders. I am not a hoarder.
我这么爱你根本舍不得说那个电视的名字
I love you too much to say the name of the show
但是那词用来描述你太准确了
that describes you perfectly.
亲爱的
Honey,
那天晚上我被驱逐到了车道上
the other night, I was banished to the driveway.
大唐和我目睹了佛格森两夫妻的性生活
And Don and I witnessed Mr. And Mrs. Ferguson
又老又灰
making old, grey,
但是居然很敏捷
surprisingly agile love.
你这些东西值得我付出这种代价吗
Is your stuff really worth all that?
我知道你想让我说不值得
I know you want me to say no.
拜托安迪
Oh, come on, Andi.
-这大部分都是垃圾 -好吧可是
- Most of it's just junk. - Okay, but...
如果我们把这些垃圾扔掉的时候
what if while we're throwing out the junk,
一不小心扔掉了重要的东西呢
we accidentally throw out something important?
有这些垃圾在重要的东西就很安全
You see, the junk keeps all the important stuff safe.
就好比防震垫
It's like padding.
我跟你说
Yeah. You know, uh...
我们结婚之前
before we got married,
你♥爸♥想跟我谈话
your dad wanted to have a little talk with me.
我没有去现在我知道他想说什么了
And I never did it, and now I know what it was about.
我想这样做的
Look, I want to do this.
我想让你有自己的空间
I want you to have your own space.
可是这对我太难了
It's just... it's really hard for me.
那我来把它变得简单点
Then let me make this easy.
我自己来收拾车♥库♥
I'll clean out the garage on my own,
你完全不用担心
and you don't have to worry about a thing.
你根本就不知道哪些该扔
You would have no idea what to throw away
哪些该留
and what to keep.
你不相信我吗
Well, don't you trust me?
完全不
No! Not at all.
真抱歉我以前没说清楚吗
I'm sorry. Have I been unclear?
你们囤积狂真刻薄
Wow. Hoarders are mean.
亲爱的我很抱歉
Honey, I'm sorry, okay?
我显然是有毛病
Look, I clearly have a problem.
你承认这事也挺不容易的
We... Well, that's very brave of you to admit.
我觉得唯一的办法
And I think the only way out of this--
在我看来
I mean, as far as I can see--
就是我们一年以后
is that, uh, we meet back here
再来讨论这个问题
in a year and continue this discussion.
你有时间吗
If you have a minute, I'd like to talk more
我想聊聊那个蓝色小药丸的事
about this blue pill?
我们一年以后再来讨论这事
Let's meet back here in a year, and we'll talk about it.
安迪不想让我们清理车♥库♥
So, di didn't want us cleaning out the garage,
然而我们还是要清理
and we're doing it anyway?
她想要清理的
No, no. She does want it.
她只是不知道自己想清理
just doesn't know she wants it.
好比她扔掉我的工装裤那时候
Like, when she threw out my cargo pants.
可别再讲你那工装裤的故事了拜托
Oh, don't tell the cargo pants story again, please.
我喜欢我的工装裤
I love my cargo pants.
好多口袋好多拉链
So many pockets, and zippers,
还有按扣和尼龙扣而且我每个颜色都有
and snaps and Velcro, and I had them in every color.
有浅卡其色深卡其色卡其色
I had them in light khaki, dark khaki, khaki.
有咖啡色浅咖色深咖色
I had them in tan, light tan, dark tan.
然后突然有一天安迪把它们全扔掉了
And then one day, Andi just threw them away.
一开始我很生气可后来我发现
And at first, I was mad. But then I noticed,
我不会再挂到门把手上了
I wasn't getting caught on doorknobs anymore.
真的最最无聊的故事
Literally, the most boring story ever.
我是想说她帮了我
My point is she helped me,
而我都不知道自己需要帮助
even though I didn't know I needed help,
现在我要帮助她
and now I'm helping her.
如果我谨慎一点保留住对的东西
And if I'm careful, and I save the right stuff,
我觉得她肯定会开心的
I'm sure she'll be happy.
如果你这么肯定那我们干吗要偷偷摸摸的
If you're so sure, why are we sneaking around
趁她去读书俱乐部的时候干
while she's at book club?
因为我不是很确定
Because I'm not sure.
我自作主张了
I'm just doing it anyway.
快看
Oh! Check it out!
摩托车今天就到了待会一起看看
Motorcycle's coming today. Wait till you see it.
61年的凯♥旋♥ 就是史蒂夫·麦昆以前那一款
A '61 Triumph, just like the kind Steve McQueen had.
你知道我们变成什么了吗
You know what that makes us?
跟史蒂夫·麦昆一样酷
Exactly as cool as Steve McQueen.
蜘蛛网蜘蛛网
Oh, spider web, spider web.
蜘蛛蜘蛛大唐抓住它
Oh! Spider! Spider! Don, get it.
不要慌我们现在是玩摩托车的人了
Get it together. We're motorcycle people now.
好了这有一大堆盒子
Yeah. All right, we got a lot of boxes here
里面装的旧衣服你想让我怎么办
with old clothes-- what do you want me to do with these?
留下还是捐了
Keep or donate?
我不知道这太耗时间了
I don't know. This is taking too long.
我们得在安迪回来之前搞定所以
We got to be done by the time Andi gets back, so just...
全都捐了赶紧的
donate, donate, donate and hurry.
我在赶紧了要不是你刚刚讲那个工装裤的故事
I'm hurrying. If you didn't tell that cargo pants story,
我们现在都已经完事了
we'd be done by now.
我以前还有工装短裤的
I had cargo shorts, too, you know.
我很乐意听一听
Oh, I'd love to hear about that.
-超棒的 -是吗
- Oh, yeah, they were great. - Oh, yeah?
-用拉链就能卸掉裤腿 -真棒
- Zip-off legs, yeah. - Oh, sweet.
你不会觉得这台车是我中年危机发作吧
You don't think this bike is me having a mid-life crisis, do you?
不不你早就度过中年了
No! No, no. You're way past mid-life.
很好
Oh, good.
朋友们
Hey, fellas.
大唐你认识洛厄尔吧
Don, you know Lowell, right?
认识他就是学校里那个家长
Sure, he's the dad from school
整天跟着你就跟小鸭子找妈妈一样
who imprinted on you like a baby duck.
你弟弟对我有一种雄性的影响
Your brother's really had a bracing, masculine effect on me.
今天早上
Today, when my wife
我老婆道早安的时候我冲她吼来着
said good morning, I just grunted at her.
效果不是很理想
It was not well received.
我想过来待一会
Hoping I can hang here a while.
当然安迪回来了
Sure. Oh, here comes Andi.
办个红酒俱乐部
Start a wine club.
你做什么了
What did you do?
你先别抓狂
Okay, before you freak out...
不不怎么回事
No, no. What happened here?
我的东西都去哪了
Where's all my stuff?
-你听我解释 -不你就...
- Let me explain. - No, no, no. You just...
你全给扔了
you threw it all out?
没有有啦
No! Well, yeah.
我这样做是因为觉得你下不去手
Look, I only did it because I felt like you couldn't,
你其实很想扔的好比我们的誓词说
even though you wanted to, like our vow said,
"不论生老病死" 亲爱的
"In sickness, and in health," And honey,
你这就是有病
you have a little sickness.
我我有病
I? I have a sickness.
我有病你把我那些
I have a sickness? You throw away
-珍贵的回忆都扔掉了 -等一下
- my precious memories, - Wait, just...
然后我还有病我...
and I have a sickness? I...
我觉得你把你老婆气疯了
I think you broke your wife.
我只是不敢相信东西全没了
I just, I can't believe it's all gone.
也不是全没了
Well, no, not all of it.
不是的你看见那边那一堆了吗
No. Like, see that section over there?
全都是瓶塞
That's all corks.
真的我现在看见瓶塞能高兴吗
Really? I'm-I'm supposed to be happy about corks, right now?
能吗
Are you?
一点点
A little.
然后这边我给每个孩子都留了些盒子
Look, yeah, and over here, I made keepsake boxes
装着纪念物品
for all the kids.
你应该更高兴的我希望
You should be even happier about that, hopefully.
这倒不是个坏主意
I guess that's not a bad idea.
凯特艾玛
小衣服小足印小牙齿
Yeah, yeah, tiny clothes, tiny footprints, tiny teeth.
凡是小小的东西我都留下了
You name something tiny, I kept it.
我是喜欢小东西