老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E19

Part 1 April 12, 2020, 10:02 a.m.

你好啊帅哥
Hello there, sexy.
不别碰领带
No, don't touch the tie.
我跟着网上视频学才打出这个结
I had to watch a YouTube video to get the knot right.
我们成功了兄弟
We made it, brother.
建造小商场还有什么比这牛逼的
Building a mini-mall. What's bigger than that?
建商场
Well, a mall.
对
Yeah.
我喜欢看你们打扮得这么帅气
I love seeing you guys all fancy.
比我通常在早餐时见到的敞开的睡袍
It's a big step up from the open robe
上了不少档次
I usually see at breakfast.
不用谢
You're welcome.
既然你们这么忙
Since you guys are so busy,
不如这周我休假
why don't I take some personal days this week
顶替你去做家长代表
and fill in for you as room parent?
你可以吗
You can do that?
这让我有机会拍罗德里格兹老师马屁
This will give me a chance to dazzle Mrs. Rodriguez
这样她会推荐艾米就读好的一年级老师的班
so she'll recommend Emme to the good first grade teacher,
而不是那种没事会把自己假牙拿出来的老师的班
and not the one that takes out her teeth during quiet time.
祝你好运
Yeah, well, good luck.
罗德里格兹老师对家长代表的要求太高了
Rodriguez's bar for room parents is way too high.
我拼了老命降低要求但依然
I've done my best to bring it down, but it's still...
这么高
up there.
别担心我
Okay, well, don't worry about me.
你没达到的那条标准线
You know that bar that you haven't met?
是我定的
I set it.
我意思是这个女人太难讨好了
I'm just saying, she's not an easy woman to please.
她长得漂亮却没结婚是有原因的
Well, there's a reason she's good-looking, but not married.
内在有问题
There's trouble under the hood.
快我们要走了
Come on. We should get going.
孩子们上学了
Kids! Time for school.
这次我先去上厕所
I'm gonna hit the bathroom first this time.
好主意
Good thinking.
对
Yeah.
我们去的每间办公室都有不同的厕所标志
Every office we go to has a different bathroom code.
我分不清楚
I can't keep 'em all straight.
上周给我逼到在停车场小便
Last week, I had to pee in the parking garage.
他尿到一半我按响了汽车报♥警♥器
I hit the car alarm when he was in mid-stream.
他看上去像草坪喷水器
He looked like a lawn sprinkler.
好的两位
Okay, guys.
标书做得非常好
These bids look excellent.
你们是怎么想到做3D模型的
And how are you coming with those 3-D models?
我们请了位电脑专家洛厄尔他非常棒
Good. Yeah, we hired a computer guy, Lowell, he's great.
对有他在真好
Yeah, yeah, nice having him around.
他的体味是我认识的男人中最香的
He smells better than any man I've ever known.
我想这点很重要
Well, that's important, I suppose.
我们来谈谈会面
So let's talk about our meeting,
这周要和投资人见面
this week with the investors.
你们看起来专业是最重要的
It's critical you appear professional.
我会戴那条像鱼的领带
I'll wear my tie that looks like a fish.
讨人喜欢非常逼真
It's a crowd-pleaser and very realistic.
有次海鸥攻击了我
A seagull attacked me once.
所以肯定非常像真鱼
That's how you know it's a good one.
好的我想说的够多了
All right. I think we said enough here.
也许太多了
Maybe too much.
莉莎我们不打扰你工作了
Lisa, we'll let you get back to work.
好的保重
Okay, take care.
亚当先别走
Adam, stick around for a second.
-没你的事了 -好的
- Yep, you're done. - Oh. Okay.
我不希望唐和投资人会面
I don't want Don at the investors' meeting.
这些人要知道他们的钱不会打水漂
These people need to know their money is in serious hands,
唐要戴鱼领带
and Don's a fish tie guy.
我会让他戴普通的领带
I'll tell him to wear a regular tie.
而且我想他可能上周
Plus, I think he might have relieved himself
在停车场小便
in our parking garage last week.
我想不是他
I don't think it was him.
你们没有监控吧有吗
You don't have security cameras, do you?
要知道
You know...
他和企业环境格格不入
he just doesn't fit in a corporate environment.
所以帮我搞定这事
So, take care of this for me.
好的你是老板
Okay. You're the boss.
我知道不容易但欢迎来到大联盟
Hey, I know it's tough, but welcome to the big leagues.
我在周六炒了我妈
I had to fire my mother on a Saturday,
第二天早上还得带她去吃复活节早午餐
then take her out to Easter brunch the next morning.
那顿饭吃得真安静啊
That was a... quiet meal.
她做了什么戴了鱼领带吗
What'd she do, wear a fish tie?
我会想办法告诉唐
I'll, uh, I'll figure out a way to break it to Don.
给个建议当我告诉别人坏消息时
Word of advice: when I'm giving someone bad news,
我总是很直接
I always use the direct approach.
我看着对方的眼睛手放在对方的肩膀上
I look them in the eye, put my hand on their shoulder,
说 "妈你被炒了"
and say, "Mom, you're fired."
对之后真没话说了
You're right, it does get quiet after that.
老爸有招
第一季第十九集
伯恩斯兄弟建筑公♥司♥
和开♥发♥商见面怎么样
So? How'd the meeting with the developer go?
麦卡弗里不知道有什么等着她
McCaffrey didn't know what hit her.
我们把那里炸了
We blew that place up.
她的办公室全是弹片
There's shrapnel all over her office.
他在说什么搞砸了吗
What's he saying? Is everything ruined?
不很顺利
No. No, it went fine.
莉莎跟你说了什么
Hey, what did Lisa want to talk to you about?
那个
Well, um...
我有话要跟你说
Okay, there's something I need to tell you.
莉莎觉得你风趣的个性
Lisa thinks that your fun personality
对投资人来说太过了
might be too much for the investors.
她
And she, uh,
她不希望你参加会议
she wants you to sit out the meeting.
你别这样好吗
Could you please not do that?
希望你有叫她一边凉快去
Well, I hope you told her to take a flying leap.
唐为了这个项目我们把其他工作都推了
Don, we've given up all our other work for this job.
好吗而且她是老板
Okay? Plus, she's the boss.
虽说她是老板但我会参加会议
Well, she may be the boss, but I'm going to that meeting.
我会让她知道我对她的看法
I'm gonna let her know exactly what I think of her.
抱歉我又来了
Sorry, that was me again.
我太生气没法工作我要坐在车上
I'm too mad to work. I'm gonna sit in the truck
听约翰尼·卡什的歌♥ 吃下我的感受
and listen to Johnny Cash and eat my feelings.
还有洛厄尔的糖
And Lowell's candies.
这是会议不让你参加
It's a meeting, and you're not invited.
老天我真不好受
Oh, man, I feel terrible.
我想给你奶油糖但全被他拿走了
Well, I'd offer you a butterscotch, but he took them all.
我得想办法让他冷静下来
I've got to figure out a way to calm him down.
不能让他去冲莉莎大吼大叫
He cannot go yell at Lisa.
她炒了自己的亲妈
She fired her own mother.
炒我们自然更没问题
She'll have no problem firing us.
我做市场时碰到客户不高兴
You know, when I was in marketing and a client was upset,
我们会给他们送礼品篮
we would send them a gift basket.
让他们觉得有人感激他们
It made them feel appreciated.
-礼品篮吗 -现在用水果做的礼品篮
- A gift basket? - They're doing some amazing stuff
可棒了
with fruit these days.
不唐讨厌水果
No. Don hates fruit.
他说像吃树的宝宝一样
He says it's like eating a tree's baby.
不是我让他觉得没人感谢他
And I'm not the one who needs to make him feel appreciated,
要怪莉莎
Lisa is.
慢着不如这样
Wait, what about this:
我给唐送个礼品篮
I'll send Don a basket
说是莉莎送的
and say it's from Lisa.
我懂了
I see what you did.
你用了我的好主意可加了一个谎言
You took a nice idea and added a lie to it.
早艾丽西娅
Morning, Alicia.
没想到你会来
I'm surprised to see you here.
这周我替亚当
I'm covering for Adam this week.
谢天谢地