老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E05

Part 3 April 12, 2020, 9:59 a.m.

Marie says she's bringing the turkey.
有人会带餐巾
Uh... someone's bringing napkins.
很好
That's good.
又有别人要带餐巾来
Uh... someone else is bringing napkins.
这就有很多餐巾了
Plenty of those.
又是餐巾
More napkins.
餐巾
Napkins...
餐巾
napkins.
洛厄尔我有个很严重的问题
Lowell, I got a serious problem here.
所有人都要带餐巾来
Everyone's bringing napkins.
也不是所有人
Not everyone.
莉莉爸爸要带厨房♥纸巾
Lily's dad is bringing paper towels.
那不就是捆成卷的餐巾
That's just napkins on a stick.
往好了想
On the bright side,
这样我做的菜
this is going to make my dish
就会成为派对焦点
the star of the party.
餐巾
Napkins.
别的家长全带餐巾
The other parents are just bringing napkins.
其实吧这样也行
You know what, that does it.
玛茜多弄点土豆
Marcy, get out more potatoes.
我们得做出给30个孩子吃的配菜
We got to cook enough sides for 30 kids.
我记得你说你要置身事外
I thought you were staying out of it.
我也不能啥都不做
Well, I can't just do nothing.
就好像看着一只乌龟横穿高速公路
It's like watching a turtle try to cross the highway.
做不到的
He's never gonna make it.
这样的话最好有人带个铲子来
In that case, somebody better bring a shovel.
别的家长都不接电♥话♥
None of the other parents are picking up the phone.
一个配菜也没有
I got no side dishes!
别人愿意吃的那种
That people will eat.
恭喜
Congratulations.
恭喜啥
For what?
搞砸学校感恩节
For blowing the school Thanksgiving.
他们不会再叫你做任何事了
They won't ask you to do anything ever again.
可能是时候打给安迪了
Maybe it's time to call Andi.
不不我不能打给安迪
No. No, I'm not calling Andi.
如果我打给她权力平衡就会打破
If I do, it'll upset the whole balance of power.
我就我就成了罗宾
I'll be... I'll be Robin.
那又如何你还是可以去冒险
So what? You still get to go on the adventures.
你只是不用再做决定了
You just won't have to make any of the decisions.
反正我家就是这样的
That's how it is in my marriage.
加入我吧挺好的
Come on in, the water's fine.
我想了想我应该还是可以
You know what, I think I could still
自己一个人搞定
pull this off without her.
我有桌卡
I got my place cards.
玛丽会带火鸡来
Marie's bringing the turkey.
我还有你那个恶心的监狱食品炖锅
I got your hoity-toity prison food casserole.
我只需要一些其他东西
All I need is the other stuff.
其他东西是指
Other stuff meaning
够30个人吃的食物
enough food for 30 people?
可以做到的吧
Yeah, it could be done, right?
来想一想
Let's see.
配菜土豆
Side dishes, potatoes,
肉汁火鸡馅料馅饼
gravy, stuffing, pies...
如果我们三个
If the three of us...
你们两个
The two of you.
一起干我们什么都可以做到
...pull together, we can do anything.
我会一直陪你走到底
I'm here for you until the end.
我得走了
Oop, I got to go.
什么怎么了
What? What's wrong?
我老婆发信息了
My wife texted.
我们想再生个孩子
We're trying to have another baby
她现在排卵期
and she's ovulating.
她已经把脚放在
She's already ankles up
摇摇椅上等着我了
in the swing chair, waiting for me.
这人真是给我太多惊喜了
That guy continues to surprise me.
我们做成晚餐的几率现在降为零了
Well, there goes any chance of us actually cooking this dinner.
我们需要备用计划
Okay, we need a plan "B."
我们出去买♥♥
We just go out and buy it?
对
Yes!
你总算动脑子了
Now you're thinking. u202d
我一直在动脑子的小弟
Hey, I'm always thinking, little brother.
我不是还上过六个月的社区大学吗
Who went to six months of community college?
好吧好吧有个地方
Okay. Okay, here's a place
24小时营业的
that's open 24 hours,
然后太好了
and, uh... yes!
他们提供感恩节备餐
They cater Thanksgiving.
28.5刀乘以30个人那是...
Okay, $28.50 a head times 30 people, that's... uh...
算简单点
Well, you got to simplify.
3乘3等于9 我们知道
Three times three is nine. We know that.
好的
Yeah, yeah, okay.
28块5 所以
$28.50, so, you, uh...
30块减去1块5 然后
subtract $1.50 from 30 and, uh...
我能行
I got this, I got this.
从0里面
Okay, you take the five
减一个5 就是
from the zero and that's, uh...
28块5
...$28.50.
说了半天白说了
That's where we started!
我们再来一次
All right, let's try this again.
3乘3等于9
All right, three times three is nine.
这是肯定的
That's locked in.
算了差不多要一千块
Oh, forget it, it's almost a thousand dollars.
等等我有办法
Wait a minute, I think I got this.
我们需要感恩节的配菜对吗
We need Thanksgiving side dishes, right?
是的
Yeah.
这不正是我们老婆正在做的吗
That's exactly what our wives are making right now.
我们需要那些食物
We need that food.
但如果用了她们做的食物
But, if we're using their food,
那不是让安迪帮忙了吗
isn't that like using Andi's help?
她不知道就不算
Yeah, but not if she doesn't know about it.
不还是不明白
Nope, still don't get it.
爸刚发了短♥信♥给我
Hey, uh, Dad just texted me.
他想知道菜做完了没
He wants to know if you're finished cooking
厨房♥里是不是没人
and if the coast is clear in the kitchen?
又来一条
Oh, here's another one.
别跟你妈说我问过
"Don't tell your mom I asked."
他为什么关心我们在不在厨房♥
Why would he care if we're in the kitchen?
我的天他们要来拿吃的
Oh, my God. They're coming for the food.
他们甚至不问我们
Hmm. u202dThey're not even gonna ask us,
就想这么拿走
they're just gonna take it.
像大唐的主意
This sounds like a Don idea.
不过他们不知道
Whoa, whoa, whoa, though. They don't know
我们为学校多做了这些吃的
we made all this extra food for the school.
就是说他们要抢走
That means they're willing to run off
我们感恩节的食物
with our family Thanksgiving.
好像《十一罗汉》的白♥痴♥版本一样
It's like the idiot's version of Ocean's Eleven.
知道吗亲爱的我真高兴你见证了这一幕
You know what, sweetie? I'm glad you're here to see this
因为无论他们穿礼服有多帅
because no matter how good they look in a tuxedo,
最终都是这个德行
this is where it ends up.
你怎么进来的
How did you get in here?
门
The door.
真没腔调
You got no style.
看这个
Oh, look at this.
发达了
The mother lode.
填料土豆泥
Stuffing, mashed potatoes,
蔓越莓沙拉
cranberry salad,
魔鬼蛋
deviled eggs.
等等
Hang on.
咱们家的感恩节晚餐
She made all these deviled eggs
她做了这么多魔鬼蛋吗
for our little family Thanksgiving?
填料太正了
Mmm. This stuffing is righteous.
你放下好吗