老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E16

Part 3 April 12, 2020, 10:01 a.m.

我们最近一次去
I mean, when-when was the last time we went to,
看舞台剧是什么时候
I don't know, a play?
去年春天
Last spring.
花式篮球表演
Harlem Globetrotters.
那不是舞台剧
That's not a play.
好人击败坏人那不就是最古老的故事吗
Good defeats evil, it's like the oldest story there is.
昨晚没有让你好奇吗
Just-- doesn't last night make you wonder if...
我们是不是退步了一点
I don't know, we've slipped a little?
那又如何退步一点又怎么样
Come on, who cares if we've slipped a little?
结婚不就是为了
Huh? The whole point of being married
不用再去做有趣的事情吗
is that we don't have to do interesting things anymore.
我们这个年纪就该待在家吃东西
This is the time of our lives to just stay home and eat.
我们好得很知道吗
We're fine, okay?
好吧
Okay.
那
Well, then...
为什么洛厄尔和珍要甩掉我们
why did Lowell and Jen bail on us?
我不知道
I don't know.
我猜可能是太期待克兰佩特奶奶
I guess we were expecting Granny Clampett,
所以吃饭的时候完全没心思吧
so we half-assed the dinner.
我的天你说得对
Oh, my God, you're right.
我们没有拿出最好的状态
We didn't bring our A game.
我们显然可以表现更好的对吧
I mean, obviously, we can do better, right?
当然可以
Well, of course we can.
我们是有趣的人我们可是安迪和亚当
We're fun. We're Andi and Adam, damn it.
可不是吗我们挺有意思的
Hell yeah, we are, we're interesting.
泰瑞·布莱肖在飞机上还想睡你来着
Terry Bradshaw tried to sleep with you on a plane.
我们怎么不讲那个故事
How did we not tell that story?
因为珍就像是闪光弹一样
Because Jen was like a flash grenade, you know?
把我们闪瞎了
We were stunned.
发明了胸侧半球的人
The lady invented side-boob.
我们发明了什么胸啊
I mean, what kind of boob did we invent?
什么也没有
None.
我偶然在过山车上
Well, I accidentally invented one in and one out
发明了一外一里
on a roller coaster.
对的对的
Right, right,
你当时在游乐园给教堂游客团看呆了
when you flashed that church group at Six Flags.
又是一个好故事
Yeah. Yeah, another good story.
好吧我告诉你
Yeah. Okay, you know what?
我们接下来这样做
Here's what we're gonna do:
我要做我著名的姜鸡汤
I'm gonna make some of my famous ginger chicken soup,
然后随意地去一趟他们家
and we're gonna casually swing by their place,
然后送给他们的假病孩
and drop it off for their fake sick kid.
漂亮然后他们不得不邀请我们进去
Nice, yeah, and they'll have to invite us in
因为正常人都会这样做
because that's what you do.
然后我们施展出魅力
Yeah, and-and-and we'll be charming,
然后我们把故事讲给他们听
and we'll-we'll give them our stories,
泰瑞·布莱肖的空中性♥爱♥故事
the Terry Bradshaw mile high club
和过山车小露一球
and the roller coaster peek-a-boo.
对对等一下
Yeah, yeah-- well, wait,
我们怎么知道他们有没有改观
how will we know if we turned this thing around?
那样他们就会想要再约我们
Because they'll want to make plans with us again.
一旦提出再约我们就又回来了
We get the plans, Adam and Andi are back.
你去哪
Where are you going?
去超♥市♥ 我可没时间做汤
To the store, I don't have time to make soup.
你好啊
Hey! Hi, there!
你们好
Hey, guys.
我做了汤送给你们生病的女儿
Um, I-I made some soup for your sick daughter.
亲爱的你的菜谱不是那次
Yeah, honey, didn't you get the recipe for that soup
泰瑞·布莱肖在飞机上想要跟你睡的时候
from Terry Bradshaw when he tried to sleep with you
学来的吗
on an airplane?
对啊就是那次学的
Yeah, that is where I got it, yeah.
我一定要听听这个故事的结局
I've got to hear the end of that story.
进来吧
Come on in.
等一下这就是故事的结局了
Wait, that is the end of the story,
没有更多的故事了
there's no more story.
我也不知道
I don't know,
不如就说你最后跟他睡了走吧
maybe just say you slept with him. Come on.
要不要喝点什么
Can I get you guys a drink?
我正在榨青柠
I'm just muddling some limes.
青柠招你惹你了
Oh, what'd they ever do to you?
-你专心讲故事 -好吧
- Stick to the stories. - Yeah, okay.
珍这就是洛厄尔给你做的房♥子吗
Oh, hey, uh, Jen, is that the house Lowell made for you?
-对 -好厉害啊
- Yeah. - That's really impressive.
亚当曾经独自建了一人高的房♥子
You know, uh, Adam made a people-sized house all by himself
当时他才22岁
when he was only 22.
-真的吗 -是啊
- Really? - Yeah.
等他23岁的时候房♥子塌了
And it fell down by the time he was 23.
老唐玛茜
Don? Marcy?
我正带他们参观就听见了你们的声音
I was just giving them a tour and we heard your voices.
我们想来见见新朋友
We thought it'd be fun to reach out to new friends.
说不定他们会喜欢不一样的电影糖
You know, who might like different movie candy.
你们这个关注点真是很独特
That's a very specific thing to look for in a friend.
洛厄尔跟我把这碗汤放进厨房♥
Lowell, let's take this soup in the kitchen
拿咖啡和甜点出来给大家吃吧
and we'll bring out coffee and desserts for everyone.
-你真好珍 -太好了
- Oh, that's sweet, Jen. - Oh, that's nice.
-谢谢 -谢谢你
- Thank you. - Thanks.
好的
Okay.
你们怎么会来这里我们先占的
What are you doing here? We had dibs.
他们无视了先来后到
They disregarded our dibs.
听着请你们立刻离开
Listen, you need to leave so that Lowell and Jen
这样洛厄尔和珍才会发现我和安迪多么有趣
can see what an interesting couple Andi and I are.
我们不走你们有过机会
We are not leaving, you guys had your chance
现在别占着茅坑不拉屎
and you screwed the pooch.
什么...
What...
我们哪有占着茅坑不拉屎
Whoa, I wouldn't say we screwed the pooch.
我们顶多就是
I mean, if anything,
在茅坑上表现得不太理想而已
we just-- we-we underwhelmed the pooch.
玛茜老唐来这里就是为了看珍有多漂亮
Marcy, Don's only here so he can see how hot Jen is.
我也是为这个来的
That's why I'm here, too.
颜值高的人喜欢互相欣赏
Us hot people, we like to check each other out.
我们想认识新的夫妻朋友
We're just looking around for new couple friends since,
毕竟你们那天明确表达了
well, you guys made it pretty clear the other night
-你们的真实想法 -对
- what you really think of us. - Yeah.
那些话是你们说的
You guys said all that.
没错可你们没有否认
Yeah, you didn't disagree.
不我们否认过
No, we did disagree.
-对但我们不相信 -是啊
- Yeah, but, you know, we didn't believe you. - Yeah.
我们就想既然要当配角
And we thought, if we're number two,
不如升个级
then we should upgrade
来当他们的配角
and be number two with them.
没错配角也要有斗志
Yeah, us number twos are scrappy.
-勇于争取 -没错
- We're survivors. - Yeah.
他们还邀请我们一起出去玩
Oh, they invited us to take a trip with them
去看野花
to see the wildflowers.
他们抢了我们的出游计划
They took our plans.
-我们成了龙套了 -不
- We're number three! - No.
好了亲爱的何必这样
Okay, honey, this is ridiculous.
对不对我们不需要得到他人肯定
All right? We don't need other people
才能增长自己的自信心
to make us feel good about ourselves.
我们可是亚当和安迪
We're Adam and Andi.
-好吧 -对吧
- Yeah. - Right?
毕竟特里·布莱德肖
I mean, Terry Bradshaw,
或是一个长得有点像他的人
or a man that looked somewhat like him,
还调戏过我
hit on me once.
-你是说其实并不是他本人... -重点错了
- Wait, you're saying it wasn't actually... - Oh, not now!
你说得对我们去告别吧
You're right, you're right, let's just go say our good-byes.
好最重要的是
Yeah, and the most important thing is
我们离开得很有尊严
that we leave here with our dignity.
没错
Yeah.
我们的甜点就不必准备了
Oh, you don't need to weld our desserts.