我是僵尸

iZombie S05E02

Part 3 April 30, 2020, 8:21 a.m.

That's okay. Liv. Liv.
再见
Bye.
好消息实验室明天应该就能送来
Good news, the lab should be sending the blood test results
便利店谋杀案的血液测试报告
from the convenience store murder tomorrow.
这可是好事
That's what's up.
可你的声音有些忧郁啊老兄
There's stress in your voice, bro.
没吃够欧米伽3吗[降压药]
Are you getting enough omega threes?
是佩顿她只是有点...
It's just Peyton. She's just a little bit...
提不起"性趣"吗
Underwhelmed in the sack?
什么她和你说过什么吗
What? Did she say something?
你可能做过头了
You're probably overdoing it.
年轻小伙常犯这错
It's a common mistake for young men.
性♥爱♥比你想象得简单
It's simpler than you think.
做♥爱♥前四小时去洗个冰水浴
You know, four hours before sex, you just take an ice bath,
吃三颗巴西坚果...
eat three Brazil nuts...
停谢谢
Okay, thank you.
一勺发酵的鳟鱼黄油
A spoon of fermented trout butter,
接着在过程中你要让自己沉浸进去
and then, during the jam sesh, you just, sort of, soak.
把它当作热水浴缸
You know, think of it as a hot tub.
而不是泳池
Not a lap pool.
还要注重眼神的交流
And focus on the eyes.
我本想说她的工作压力有点大
I was gonna say she's a bit overwhelmed at work.
我们不都如此吗
Aren't we all.
下班后我们该去健身
Hey, we should hit the gym after work.
我不用了
I'm good, actully.
别这样呀
Oh, come on.
老兄难道你不想拥有一身腱子肉吗
Bro, don't you want to be Ravi-rock-hard-body?
不想
No.
你往嘴里塞什么呢
What are you putting in that gob of yours?
鹅肉抹上鹿茸酱
Goose muddled in antler sauce,
一道兔血炖兔肉
a civet of hare,
六只熟透的鸡蛋外壳泛起藏红色
six hard-boiled eggs covered in saffron
并以丁香调味
and flavored with cloves.
既然你就在这掌柜的...
And while you're here, innkeep...
老爷请吩咐
Milord?
请给我的汤撒一些蕈人粉
Perchance a sprinkling of grated Myconid in my soup?
您说停我就停
Tell me when.
足矣
'Tis sufficient.
我挨着迪维克斯先生落座
I take a seat next to Mr. Bandywax.
快随我来我的混血朋友
You must come with me now, my halfling friend.
现在
Now?
现在不行
Oh, not now.
或许再过一会
Mayhap anon.
我的鹅肉尚未煮好
My goose remains uncooked.
别坐在那不知所措班迪维克斯先生
Don't sit there pitchkettled, Mr. Bandywax.
如果你真的不来
If you don't come forsooth,
你可能再也见不到一只鹅不管是生是熟
you risk never gandering another goose, be it cooked or raw.
我冲向桌子就空座坐下
I rush to the table, take the remaining seat.
恳请你毛思科
Prithee, Mosco,
离开你的食物让我们一起逃亡
leave thy bellytimber thither and let us flee,
不要让自己沦为盘中之餐
lest thy be the very cooked goose thou longst to taste.
行了你们到底准备杀死怪物
Okay. Are you guys gonna kill some monsters,
还是要我派关注寻求者戈洛格
or am I gonna send Gorlogg the Attention Seeker
身配屠龙刀而来
in here with his Vorpal blade?
我在俄亥俄的表亲觉得
My cousin in Ohio thinks that
我为博关注变成僵尸
I turned zombie for attention.
你不是还为了个姑娘变成吸血鬼了吗
Didn't you turn vampire for a girl?
介意我借用一下那句话吗
Do you mind if I steal that line?
我的喜剧团可以用在僵尸素描画上
My comedy troupe could use it for our zombie sketch.
你进了喜剧团
You're in a comedy troupe?
我怎么不知道
How did I not know this?
还不赖了
They're not bad.
全都是乡巴佬史蒂夫
Three straight regional Yuck-Yucks, so, suck it, Steve.
那就不行
Then, no.
你不能用我"为博关注变成僵尸"这句话
You can't steal turning-zombie-for-attention.
等等你画僵尸素描吗
Wait, you do zombie sketches?
超级棒实际上是一本素描集
They kill. It's actually a portfolio of sketches,
描述住在僵尸隔壁的生活
about living next door to zombies.
我们有一本叫做《死人家的晚餐》
We have this one bit called "Dinner at the Deadman's"
其中我的人类兄弟帮助我祈祷远离僵尸
where my human brother tries to help me pray away the Zs.
太棒了
So good.
真是太棒了
It's so good.
我们也统统外出的
We go all out, too, you know.
又戴白色假发又化僵尸妆
Like white wigs, zombie makeup.
也就是说你们化妆假装成另一种文化
So you paint your face and appropriate another culture?
我倒从没这么想过
Never thought about it that way.
-行 -好
- Cool. - Yeah.
随便吧
Whatever.
还有两小时我怀孕的老婆就会回家
I've got two hours before my pregnant wife comes home
发现我不在家给她泡茶
and realizes that I'm not there making her tea
也不能给她揉背...
and rubbing her back, so...
等...等等再和我说说素描的事
Hold... Hold on. Tell me more about this sketch.
这个好吧...
Well, okay, so...
我们喜欢尝试...
What we like to try to do is...
刀起头落
Thwack.
戈洛格把毛思科的头举在空中大喊
Gorlogg lifts Mosco's severed head in the air and shouts,
"我就是戈洛格
"I am Gorlogg!
看着我看着我"
Look at me. Look at me!"
投骰子争谁先
Roll for initiative.
去他妈的警♥察♥ 被炸飞的又不是他们
To hell with the police. They ain't the ones getting blown up.
警♥察♥的命重要吗
Blue lives matter?
白人的命才重要
White lives matter.
跟你说吧你可一点都不白蠢货
Hate to break it to you. You're far from white, Spud.
这话跟那些叫我"白鬼"的死亡终结者说去吧
Tell those Dead Enders calling me "Whitey".
大部分人类是好人
Most humans are decent people.
你说话跟利里怀特似的
You sound like Lillywhite.
指挥官希望保持和平局面
The commander is trying to keep the peace.
如果我们逼得人类太紧
We push humans too far,
他们会分♥析♥局势
and they're gonna look around
决定宁可和我们战死
and decide that they'd rather die fighting
也不愿生活在高墙封闭的僵尸家园
than live in a walled zombie homeland.
-我们能干掉他们 -你是个蠢货
- We could take 'em. - You're an idiot.
-隐蔽 -注意
- Take cover. - Look out.
在上面
Up there.
这两个呢约翰和大卫·蒙德斯
How about these two? John and David Mendez?
他们的父亲癌症晚期住在圣地亚哥
They have a father in San Diego dying of cancer
母亲年纪也大了
and a senile mother.
他去世后她将孤身一人
She'll be all on her own once he passes.
他们兄弟俩呢健康吗
And the brothers themselves? They're healthy?
我会下地狱的
I'm going to hell.
拒绝掉吧
Reject pile.
指挥官
Commander.
我们的小队在海斯街的小巷被埋伏
Our squad was ambushed in an alley off Hayes Street.
长官
Sir...
乔丹牺牲了
Jordan didn't make it.
《拆弹部队》
真想要菜斯·格拉夫而不是利里怀特
Give me Chase Graves over Lillywhite any day.
-说得没错 -他会尝到苦头的
- Oh, you can say that again. - Yeah, he'll get his.
你知道他是哪边的
hey, you knew which side he was on.
你觉得"安慰家"会怎么做
What do you think flower-power'll do about it?
放放鲍勃·马利[雷鬼乐之父]的歌♥
Put on some Bob Marley.
再找几个悲伤心理咨♥询♥师
Bus in a few more grief counselors.
提醒我们当时是寡不敌众
Remind us how outnumbered we are.
我们必须抗♥议♥
We need to clap back.
不然这"和谐相处"的破理念会把我们全害死
Before this can't-we-all-get-along crap gets us all killed.
不好意思长官
Excuse me, sir.
我注意到你拿着一把大威力来♥福♥枪♥
I can't help but notice that you've got a high-powered rifle
对着我的脑袋
pointed at my skull.
我必须警告你如果你朝我的脑袋开枪
I must warn you that if you shoot me in the head,
那时且仅有那时我就能开枪还击了
I will then, and only then, be given permission to return fire.
怎么了你知道我是对的
What? You know I'm right.