宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S04E23

Part 4 March 3, 2022, 1:18 p.m.

...and I can slurp it up to my mouth like this. Look.
还有，关于性，我喜欢躺在下面
Now, sex, I like the bottom.
让其他人运动，明白吗？
Let them do all the work, you know?
你应该把这些记下来
You should be writing this stuff down.
麦麸片
Yeah. Bran flakes.
要全麦的，因为我有个大♥麻♥烦
One hundred percent. I got a big problem.
我要一个汉堡，就这样 - 好的
And I'll have the hamburger. That's it. - Yeah.
谢谢 - 很好
Thanks a lot. - That's good.
我喜欢打高尔夫
Now, I like to play golf.
听着，这些和我毫无关系
Look, this stuff doesn't matter to me.
明白吗，我要按自己的方式表演而不是演你
See, I'm gonna do the character like me, not like you.
你要演得和我一样
You gotta play him like me.
我是克莱默
I'm Kramer.
我是克莱默 - 我是克莱默
I'm Kramer. - I'm Kramer.
能为您做点什么？想要吃饭吗？
What can I do for you? Would you like table?
不，我想申请招待的工作
No, I'd like to apply for a waitress job.
你以前有过相关经验吗？
Have you ever waited on tables before?
哦，是的，过去十年我一直是个职业招待
Oh, yeah. I've been a professional waitress for the last 10 years.
我在城里各个地方都工作过
I've worked all over this city.
这是我的简历
These are my references.
我保证你会觉得我再适合不过了
I'm sure you'll find that I'm more than qualified.
我想目前我不需要更多的员工
I don't think I need anyone else right now.
你有大♥麻♥烦了，老板！很大的麻烦！
You're in big trouble, mister! And I mean trouble with a capital T!
什么！我♥干♥了什么？
What? What did I do?
无论如何，至少有…
Anyway, there's at least...
…四个，而且她们都很巨大
...four of them, and they're all huge.
我是说，一个比一个大
I mean, one is bigger than the next.
就像是罗斯·梅尔的电影
It's like a Russ Meyer movie.
谁是罗斯·梅尔？
Who's Russ Meyer?
他在七十年代拍摄了…
He's this guy who made these...
…全是这种女人的可怕电影
...terrible movies in the '70s with these kinds of women.
他沉迷其中
He's obsessed.
他沉迷于女人的胸部
He's obsessed with breasts.
这很难说清楚
That's hard to say.
好了，继续
Anyway, go on.
其他没什么要说的了，他需要女招待…
There's not really much more to tell. He was looking for waitresses...
…我进去申请，他上下打量了我一会就拒绝了
...I went in to apply, and he looked me up and down, and he rejected me.
保罗，进来一下，你来听听这个
Paul, come here for a second. I want you to listen to this.
嗨 - 嗨
Hi. - Hi.
这个女人声称在西区有一家饭店…
The woman here claims there's a restaurant on the West Side...
…只雇大胸女
...that's only hiring large-breasted women.
真的？
Really?
你是什么意思，虚构的？ - 它是虚构的
What do you mean, made-up? - It's made-up.
哈根达斯是虚构的，它不是丹麦的
H鋋gen-Dazs is made-up. It's not Danish.
你疯了 - 不，我没疯
You're crazy. - No, I'm not.
乔治，哈根达斯是丹麦的吗？
George, is H鋋gen-Dazs Danish?
丹麦的，什么意思？ - 这人演得真糟
What do you mean, Danish? - This guy stinks.
丹麦的，它是丹麦产的吗？
Danish. Is it from Denmark?
它们产自新泽西州，只是名字听上去像丹麦的
They make it in New Jersey. It's just a Danish-sounding name.
我真不敢相信，他们骗了我，杰瑞
I can't believe that. They fooled me, Jerry.
天哪，一部没有主题的电视剧
Boy, talk about a show about nothing.
打扰一下
Excuse me.
打扰一下
Excuse me.
这里…这里不对
This... This is not right.
能让我试试吗？
May I?
你要说：
You see, you're going:
“他们骗了我，杰瑞”
"They fooled me, Jerry."
你要多强调一下“骗”
You want to hit "fooled" more.
“他们骗了我，杰瑞”
"They fooled me, Jerry."
你明白差异了吗？
You see the difference?
我不会这样说的
I'm not gonna say it like that.
只是建议一下
Just a suggestion.
好了，各位
All right, everybody.
休息一下 - 对，休息
Take a five. - Yep, that's five.
乔治？
George?
我没什么表演的经验…
I don't have much experience with acting...
…但以我的理解…
...but from what I can gather...
…指导他们念台词会让他们感到很恼火
...they're a little touchy about being told how to say the lines.
为什么？
Why is that?
我不知道，但他们似乎不喜欢这样
I don't know, but they don't seem to like it.
顺便一提，我演得怎样？
By the way, how am I doing?
哦，你…你很好，很好
Oh, you're... You're fine. You're fine.
那么你觉得演克莱默的家伙拿了葡萄干？
So you think this guy playing Kramer took the raisins?
他干嘛要偷一盒葡萄干？
Why would he steal a box of raisins?
是啊
Yeah.
真奇怪
It's bizarre.
那个有点谢顶的人快把我逼疯了
That little bald guy's driving me nuts.
他不离我远点我就要破口大骂了
I'm gonna rip him a new one if he doesn't leave me alone.
希望这是我们真正的问题所在
I wish that was our real problem.
真正的问题是什么？
What is the real problem?
是宋飞
It's Seinfeld.
他不会演戏，真可惜
He can't act. It's pathetic.
我告诉过你这些演脱口秀的人没有演技
I told you these stand-ups can't act.
看他演戏我都觉得难受
I'm cringing watching him.
他怎么了？
What's with him?
拉塞尔？
Russell?
拉塞尔？
Russell?
什么？ - 你还好吗？
What? - You okay?
嗯，不，我… 我只是…
Yeah. No, l... I was just...
…在想其他事
...thinking of something.
我马上回来
I'll be back in a second.
怎么了？
What's the matter?
没什么
Nothing.
你演得很奇怪，出什么事了吗？
You're acting weird. Is anything wrong?
没有
No.
你要和我分手？
Are you breaking up with me?
我们约会过吗？
Are we going out?
你要和我分手，是不是？
You're breaking up with me, aren't you?
你想让我分吗？
Do you want me to?
如果你是这么想的话
If that's what you want.
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
够了，分手吧
Fine, break up with me.
好吧，我们分手了
All right, we're broken up.
我们还能做朋友吗？
Can we still be friends?
还记得你试镜的时候吗？ - 记得
Remember when you auditioned? - Yeah.
在咖啡桌上有一盒葡萄干
There was a box of raisins on the coffee table.
你有没有可能在临走前拿了它？
Did you, by any chance, take them with you when you left?
你在说什么？
What are you talking about?
呃，我们大家都在吃葡萄干
Well, we were all eating the raisins.
我记得你…你也吃了一些
And I remember you... You were eating some of the raisins.
然后你离开了…
And then you left...
…葡萄干也消失了
...and the raisins were gone.
我只是在想如果，你知道…
I was just wondering if, you know...
…也许你拿走了
...maybe you took them with you.
你在指控我偷葡萄干吗？
Are you accusing me of stealing the raisins?
哦，不，不… - 我♥干♥嘛要偷一盒葡萄干？
Oh, no, no... - Why would I steal a box of raisins?
不，你不会，谁也不会
No, you wouldn't. Nobody would, you know.
只是…
It's just that...
…它们失踪了，而且…
...they were missing, and...
…我只是想问问
...well, I'm just inquiring.
让我给你个建议，好吗？
Let me give you a word of advice, okay?
离我远点，我不想跟你说话
Stay away from me. I don't wanna talk to you.
而且我也不想再听到你愚蠢的建议了
And I don't wanna hear any more of your stupid notes and suggestions.
我不喜欢你
I don't like you.
所以如果你还有其他问题管它是葡萄干、梅干…
So if you got any other problems, whether it's raisins, prunes...
…无花果或是其他的干果…
...figs or any other dried fruit...
…自己保管好然后离我远点，好吗？
...just keep it to yourself and stay out of my way, okay?
好的
All right.
我想我们之间没有问题了
I don't think we're gonna have any problem with that.
很高兴和你谈谈，汤姆，真的
Good talking to you, Tom. Really.
伊莲？伊莲？