宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S04E20

Part 2 March 3, 2022, 1:18 p.m.

Pay dirt.
罗伊，这是克莱默，我朋友
Roy, this is Kramer. He's one of our friends.
近来可好？ - 好极了
How do you do? - I do great.
嗨，罗伊 - 嗨，席格医生
Hi, Roy. - Hey, Dr. Siegel.
嘿，医生，瞧我的
Hey, doc, check this out.
我刚刚学会的
Hey. - I just learned that.
我来就是想问问…
I just wanted to stop by...
你对明天的手术还有什么疑问吗？
...see if you had any questions about tomorrow's operation.
那个，我有…我有个问题
Yeah, yeah, I have... I have a question.
您对腹内牵开器了解多少？（医生用于固定切口的用具）
What do you know about interabdominal retractors?
你是不是看了昨晚的20/20？（78年起开播的节目，关注热点话题）
Are you asking because you saw 20/20 last night?
显然
I sure am.
那份报告说的是一种很特别的牵开器
Well, that report was about one very specific type of retractor.
我可以保证的是，我们绝不会在你朋友的手术中使用那种型号♥
And I can assure you we do not use that retractor in your friend's procedure.
但你无论如何都会用到牵开器吧
But you will use a retractor.
不得不用
We have to.
这样吧，既然你这么关心你朋友
I'll tell you what. You're obviously concerned about your friend's welfare.
反正明天我的学生也会在观摩室
A few of my students will be observing tomorrow's operation...
观摩手术，要不你也一起来意下如何？
...from the viewing gallery. How would you like to watch it with them?
乐意之至啊！ - 我不晓得…
I'd love to watch the operation, yeah. - I don't know.
别磨蹭了，杰瑞，这手术你一定要看
Come on, Jerry, you gotta see the operation.
他们会把他开膛破肚到时候肠子满天飞啊
They're gonna cut him open. His guts will be all over the place.
那倒是 - 他们会把他骨头一根一根锯断
Yeah, that's true. - They'll saw through bone.
我们就能看见骨头下面是啥了
We'll see what's inside bone.
你这是在干嘛？你哭了？ - 才没有
What are you doing? You're crying? - No.
你看《小鬼当家》都看哭了？
You're crying from Home Alone?
那老男人很感人嘛 - 得
The old man got to me. - All right.
振作点，看你这副德行真不知道以后咱俩还能不能做朋友 - 给我闭嘴
Get yourself together. I don't know if I can be friends...
...with you anymore after this display. - Oh, shut up.
怎么这么早就回来了？
What are you doing back so soon, anyway?
我们没去成，克莱默搞到了手套…
I never even got to the gym. Kramer got the gloves...
就想立马回家开工
...wanted to come home and start working on his floor.
那个病人怎么样了？ - 他好着呢
How's the guy? - He's okay.
说起来他和伊莲又黏在一起了
In fact, him and Elaine are getting pretty chummy.
这会伊莲琢磨着让我买♥♥那家伙的“作品”呢
Now Elaine wants me to buy some of his art.
脸皮不薄嘛 - 就是，这样她和三角男
That's nerve. - Yeah. So she and triangle boy...
才去得起豪华餐厅
...can go out to fancy restaurants.
你知道这叫啥吗？
You know what it is?
克拉拉·南丁格尔情结
It's Clara Nightingale Syndrome.
他一生病，就惹得她爱意泛滥 - 你是说弗洛伦斯·南丁格尔吧？
He falls ill, she falls in love. - You mean Florence Nightingale.
我说啥了，“克拉拉”？ - 你一定想说克拉拉·巴顿（也是美国著名的护士）
What did I say, "Clara"? - You must have meant Clara Barton.
克拉拉·巴顿？她是干嘛的？
Clara Barton? What did she do?
我也不晓得，不过肯定不赖
I'm not sure, but I think she was nice.
我估计苏珊·安东尼比较不好上手（已故女权主义者）
Susan B. Anthony I think I'd have a problem with.
同意
Yeah, I think you would.
那你打算买♥♥他的东西吗？
So are you gonna buy his art?
不，你干嘛不买♥♥呢，你有1900块
No. Why don't you buy it. You got $ 1900.
哈，好像我真会要一样，三角
Yeah. That's what I want. Triangles.
我走了，你和那个“无名女”玩得开心吧
I'm out of here. Have fun with whatshername.
自然
I will.
你到现在才问她名字，会很尴尬
You know, now you gotta ask her her name. It's so embarrassing.
不会，我有的是办法 - 真的？怎么办？
No, it isn't. I can find out. - Yeah? How?
山人自有妙计
There are ways.
知道吗？我记得我小时候
You know, I remember when I was a kid growing up...
别的小孩会取笑我的名字说出来你都不信
...kids would make fun of my name like you wouldn't believe.
“猪头杰”了
"Jerry, Jerry, Dingleberry" and...
“臭臭宋”了 - 臭臭宋？
..."Seinsmelled." - Seinsmelled?
没错
Yeah.
你呢？别人也会取笑你的名字吗？
What about you? Did people make fun of your name?
开玩笑呢吧你，那帮小孩可是嘴下无情
Are you kidding? They were merciless.
有什么办法呢谁让我自己的名字
What do you expect when your name rhymes...
和女人身体的一部分发音押韵
...with a part of the female anatomy?
当然了，可不是人人都像你这么好~
Of course, not everybody can be as sweet as you are.
哦，杰瑞 - 哦，你呀
Oh, Jerry. - Oh, you.
咱们来试试和“Breast”押韵的（开始猜名字了，以下都是押韵的人名，但无实际意义）
Now, let's try "breast."
Celeste.
Celeste
Kest - 不像
Kest. - No.
Rest，Seat，Hest - Hest？
Rest. Sest. Hest. - Hest?
那压根不是个人名
That's not a name.
你当初直接问了不就没事了 - 我是该问来着
You should have just asked her. - I know I should have asked.
那你现在怎么办？ - 不晓得，现在总不能直接问她啊
What are you gonna do now? - I don't know. I can't ask her now.
我们都已经“那个”过了
I've already made out with her.
一旦你和一个女人“那个”过之后就再也不能问人家名字了
Once you make out with a woman, you can't ask her her name.
Aretha （与阴♥部♥Vagina押韵）
Aretha.
不像
No.
Bovary（与阴蒂Clitoris押韵） - 得，够了
Bovary. - All right, that's enough.
知道自己该干什么不？你该搜搜她的钱包
You know what you gotta do? You gotta go through her purse.
找找信♥用♥卡♥，驾照之类的
The credit cards, driver's license.
这怎么可能呢？ - 她去上洗手间的时候不就可以了
Well, how am I gonna do that? - When she goes to the bathroom.
你们在这呢
There you are. - Hey.
我约的人放了我鸽子
My date stood me up.
你们跟我一起去看手术不？
Listen, will you guys go to the operation with me?
你跟人约会去看手术？
You asked a date to go to the operation?
对啊
Yeah.
别磨蹭，你俩去不去？
So come on. What do you say?
什么手术？ - 脾脏切除手术
What kind of operation is it? - Splenectomy.
是不是就把… - 嘿，别剧透！
Isn't that where they remove the...? - Don't ruin it.
我还没看过呢
I haven't seen it yet.
快点，去不去？
Now, come on. What do you say?
Mulva （与阴♥部♥Vagina押韵）
Mulva.
Mulva？
Mulva?
快点了快点了，你想去？
Come on, come on. You wanna go?
快，好极了 - 得，得
Come on. Yeah. - All right. All right.
让我先喝完咖啡
Just let me finish my coffee.
接着就去看他们把那头肥猪开膛破肚！ (这句话是宋飞演员即兴说的)
Then we'll watch them go slice this fat bastard up.
我们接下来要打开腹壁…
Now we'll open the peritoneal cavity...
使其体内器官暴露出来…
...exposing the body's internal organs.
护士，牵开器
Nurse, retractor.
你吃什么呢？ - 薄荷糖
What are you eating? - Junior Mints.
来一颗？ - 不用
You want one? - No.
我瞧不见了
Now, I can't see.
你能不能…
Could you get...?
哪来的糖？
Where'd you get those?
售卖♥♥机，要不来一颗？ - 不用
The machine. You want one? - No.
来吧，来一颗 - 我不要
Here. Take one. - I don't want one.
可好吃了 - 我不想要
No, they're good. - I don't want any.
就一颗 - 克莱默，给我停下…
Just take one. - No. Stop... Kramer, stop it.
进去了？ - 嗯
Did it go in? - Yes.
它越过栏杆，弹过呼吸器
Over the balcony, bounced off some respirator thing...
就直直地掉进了病人体内
...into the patient.
什么意思，“掉进了病人体内”
What do you mean, "Into the patient"?
就是真的掉进了病人体内
Into the patient. Literally.
掉进伤口了？ - 没错
Into the hole? - Yes.
那伤口
The hole.
他们没发现？ - 没
Didn't they notice it? - No.
他们怎么能发现不了呢？ - 那糖很小啊
How could they not notice it? - Because it's a little mint.
是颗小小薄荷糖
It's a Junior Mint.
那他们接下去呢？
Well, what did they do?
他们就缝合伤口了，可糖还在里头
They sealed him up with the mint inside.
他们把薄荷糖留在里头了？ - 对
They left the Junior Mint in him? - Yes.
这个…应该也伤不到他吧
Well, l... I guess it can't hurt him.
大家不也很会吃这些玩意嘛
People eat pounds of those things.
对，大家是“吃”糖
Yes, they eat them.
不是把糖扔进肚子里和一堆器官搅和在一起！
They don't put them next to vital organs in their abdominal cavity.
谁？ - 是我
Yeah. - It's me.
上来吧
Come on up.
嘿
Hey.
那墙纸棒极了
This wallpaper is very good.
我的地盘现在就像个滑雪小屋
My place looks like a ski lodge.
你干嘛非让我吃糖？我说了不想吃！
Why'd you force that mint on me? I didn't want the mint!
啥？哦，我不相信你 - 你怎么能不信呢？
What? I didn't believe you. - How could you not?