宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S04E21

Part 3 March 3, 2022, 1:18 p.m.

I gotta go. - Listen.
我问你点事情：
Let me ask you something:
如果你和摩娜上过床的话
If you and Mona were ever to dance...
谁攻谁守呢？
...how do you decide who leads?
我的意思是，你们有轮流么？
I mean, do you take turns?
你们做♥爱♥前讨论过么？ - 你们是怎么做到的？
Do you discuss it beforehand? How does that work?
你真是傻帽
You're an idiot.
为什么？这是合理的社会学问题
Why? That's a legitimate sociological question.
再见 - 但是…
I'll see you. - But...
乔治顺便说一句……
Oh, and George, by the way...
你身上真臭，你需要洗个澡了
...you stink. You need a bath.
不是我臭，是那辆车！
It's not me! It's the car!
我没想到我会来
I didn't think I'd come.
我知道你会来的
I knew you would.
哦，摩娜 - 哦，克莱默
Oh, Mona. - Oh, Kramer.
我们可以来一次彻底的清理这包括…
You can give it the executive treatment. That includes...
整辆车的去离子化
...complete deionization of the entire vehicle.
我们先用消毒液将整辆车清洗
Where we spray everything with Ozium-D, let it deionize...
之后呢再用去离子机
...vacuum the spray out with a deionizing machine.
用高压压缩空气将车内的空气排净
Hit it with high-pressure compressed air...
然后呢我们再用干湿器将残余的水分烘干
...and wet-dry vac it to extract the remaining liquids.
最后我们再喷上空气清新剂
And we top it off with one of our seven air fresheners.
鉴于你这种情况我会给你推荐茉莉香料或者混合香料
In your case, I would recommend the jasmine or the potpourri.
我们开始吧
Let's do it.
我们要做的第一件事是…
The first thing that we're gonna do...
用五种不同的香精油将发囊彻底清洗
...is flush the follicles with the five essential oils.
然后用蒸汽机将头发加热
Then we put you under a vapor machine, and then a heated cap.
然后我们再重复用洗头膏清洗
Then we shampoo and shampoo...
然后再重复吹干
...and condition and condition.
然后我们将你的头发
Then we saturate the hair...
浸泡在稀释的醋中
...in diluted vinegar.
用两分的醋，加十分的水如果这还是不管用
Two parts vinegar, 10 parts water. Now, if that doesn't work...
我们还有最后一种方法
...we have one last resort.
番茄酱
Tomato sauce.
番茄酱？
Tomato sauce?
非常感谢
Thanks a lot.
等等
Wait a minute.
还是臭
It still smells.
还是臭！
It still smells!
还是臭
It still smells.
还是臭
It still smells.
这怎么可能呢？ - 我不知道
How could it still smell after all that? - I don't know.
你准备怎么办？ - 我准备把这辆车卖♥♥掉
What are you gonna do? - I'll tell you what, I'm selling that car.
你要把车卖♥♥掉？ - 你不知道…
You're selling the car? - You don't understand...
我所面对的是非常强大的难以想像的
...what I'm up against. This is a force more powerful...
...than anything you can imagine.
就连超人都无力对付的一种恶臭
Even Superman would be helpless against this kind of stench.
不管多么贱价我都要把它卖♥♥掉
And I'll take anything I can get for it.
也许我会买♥♥它
Maybe I'll buy it.
你疯了么？
Are you crazy?
你难道没有听懂我所说的么？
Don't you understand what I'm saying to you?
这不仅仅是一种气味你需要牧师来驱走它
This isn't just an odor. You need a priest to get rid of this thing.
我还是臭 - 你看到了么？
I still smell. - You see?
你知道我在说什么了么？它有实体，它是个怪物
You see what I'm saying to you? It's a presence. It's the beast.
好吧让我闻闻你们
All right, let me smell you.
克莱默，克莱默！
Kramer. Kramer!
发生什么事情了 - 克莱默，把门打开，我知道你在里面！
What's that? What's going on? - Kramer open up, I know you're there!
苏珊 - 克莱默！
Susan. - Kramer!
发生什么了？ - 我告诉你发生了什么
What is going on? - You know what's going on?
最初，他吐在我身上
First, he vomits on me.
接着他烧了我父亲的小木屋
Then he burns down my father's cabin.
现在他让摩娜弃我而去
And now he's taken Mona away from me.
他抢了你的女朋友？ - 是的
He stole your girlfriend? - Yes.
她爱上了他
She's in love with him.
太不可思议了
Amazing.
我让她们成了一对他又把她们拉了回来
I drive them to lesbianism, he brings them back.
你好
Hello.
她还在么？ - 不，她走了
She still there? - No. She left.
怎么一回事？你干了什么？ - 我不知道，我什么也没有干
What is going on? What did you do? - I don't know, I didn't do anything.
我在碟店练习我的挥杆姿势
I was in the video store, and I was practicing my golf swing, you know.
你知道的拿扫帚练习
You know, with a broom, and...
她看到了我挥杆然后她告诉我
Yeah. But she saw me take a swing, and she told me...
我收杆的速度太快了然后我们就聊了聊
...that the club is going back too fast. Well, we started talking.
她是高尔夫教练所以我就去上了她的一堂课…
She's a golf teacher. So I went to a lesson, and, you know...
然后我们之间就…擦出了火花她是高尔夫教练
...something happened between us. She's a golf teacher.
我运气真好！我已经能少打六杆了
I've struck gold! I've already taken six strokes off my game.
你完成的远不止如此
That's the least of what you've accomplished.
我要和她去约会我可以借你的外套么？
I'm gonna have dinner with her. Can I borrow your jacket?
哦，当然 - 好的
Oh, sure. - Yeah.
等一会，克莱默等等，我还是有点不懂
Wait a minute. Kramer, Kramer. Hold on a second, I don't get this.
这个女人她这辈子从没和男人约会过
This woman has never been with a man her entire life.
我是克莱默
I'm Kramer.
听着，我晓得你现在的感受
Look, I know what you're going through.
女人嘛，谁知道她们究竟想要些什么？
Women. Who knows what they want?
我就是不知道她究竟看上克莱默哪一点
I just don't know what she sees in Kramer.
听着，你美丽又聪明你会遇见其他女孩的
Listen, you're beautiful. You're intelligent. You'll meet other girls.
你真这么认为？ - 是的，我很清楚
You think so? - Yes, I know so.
你是最够格的女同性恋者
You happen to be a very eligible lesbian.
你太好了 - 嗨，我知道我在说些什么
You're very sweet. - Hey, I know what I'm talking about.
但是，对你说句老实话我要跟你说的是…
But I gotta be honest with you, I gotta tell you...
自从我看到你牵着那个女人的手…
...ever since I saw you holding hands with that woman...
我发现我已经迷上你了
...I can't get you out of my mind.
真的？ - 是的
Really? - Yeah.
你真是太正了
You're just so hip.
哦，天哪 - 怎么了？
Oh, my God. - What?
是爱莉丝，和你分手后我曾经和她约会过她迷上我了
It's Allison. I dated her right after you. She was obsessed with me.
乔治？
George?
爱莉丝，嗨
Allison. Hi.
哦，你还好吗？ - 很好
Oh, my God. How are you? - Good.
你记得吗，你还欠我50美金
You know, you owe me $50.
五十美金，对，对
Fifty dollars, right. Right.
我现在身上没带钱爱莉丝，这是苏姗，苏姗，这是爱莉丝
I don't have it on me right now. Allison, this is Susan. Susan, Allison.
见到你很高兴 - 我也是
Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
真是一件漂亮的背心
That's a beautiful vest.
谢谢
Thank you.
我就是不懂昨天晚上她在我的公♥寓♥
I don't understand it. I was with her last night at my apartment.
当时非常浪漫
It was very romantic.
四周贴着仿木纹壁纸当时的气氛真是好极了
With that fake wood wallpaper, the atmosphere is fabulous in there now.
就像在滑雪度假屋之中
It's like a ski lodge.
这是什么时候买♥♥的车呢？ - 90年
What year did you say this was? - Ninety.
我们坐在长凳上我过去拥抱她，接着她就说她要走
We're on the couch. I moved to hug her, next she tells me she's leaving...
她说她明天要早起
...she's got to get up early.
真是奇怪 - 你驾驶多少公里了？
That's strange. - How many miles you got on this?
两万三千英里
Twenty-three thousand.
并且我这么帅气
And I was looking good too.
穿着件好看的新T恤还有你的外套
I had a nice new shirt on. I'm wearing your jacket.
等等，我的外套
Wait a second. My jacket.
我在车里穿过它，那个怪物
I wore that in the car. The beast.
这股邪恶的臭味 - 什么？
This wicked funk. - What?
这辆车我卖♥♥不出去
I can't sell this car.
这一切
This thing.
必须有个了结
It's got to be stopped.
你想怎么办？ - 用番茄酱
So, what do you want to do? - Sauce me.
为什么我们需要体味？
Why do we need BO?
它有什么用呢？
What is the function of it?
存在即有理由除了体味
Everything in nature has a reason, has a purpose, except BO.
这说不通啊
It doesn't make any sense. Do something good...
努力工作，锻炼却让你闻起来很糟糕
...hard work, exercise, you smell very bad.
人体的生理机制就是这样设计的你动，你变臭
This is the way the human being is designed. You move, you stink.
为什么我们的身体就不能帮帮我们呢？
Why can't our bodies help us?
为什么汗就不能香一点呢？这世界就大不一样了不是么？
Why can't sweat smell good? lt'd be a different world, wouldn't it?