宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S04E23

Part 1 March 3, 2022, 1:18 p.m.

在我看来，恐惧成功这一概念…
To me, the whole concept of fear of success...
…证实了我们退而选择了恐惧
...is proof that we are definitely scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.
我们会和这样的人讨论重要问题吗？
Will we have to have AA-type meetings for these people?
“嗨，我叫比尔，有一个立体音响…
"Hi, my name is Bill, and the one thing I'm worried about is having a stereo...
…和奶油色的沙发，这让我很担心”
...and a cream-colored couch."
大多数研究表明，人们最害怕公共演讲
According to most studies, people's number-one fear is public speaking.
其次是死亡
Number two is death.
死亡竟然位居第二
Death is number two.
这意味着对普通人来说如果你必须去参加葬礼…
Now, this means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral...
…躺在棺材里比准备悼文要轻松得多
...you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
《宋飞正传》第四季第23~24集 “试播剧”
为什么我不能演克莱默？
Why can't I play Kramer?
我们已经讨论过这个了，你不是一个演员
Look, we've been through this already. You're not an actor.
可你也不是 - 我知道
Well, neither are you. - I know.
我们为什么需要两个不会演戏的人？
Why do we need two people that can't act?
哦，得了，杰瑞，演戏有什么难的？
Oh, come on, Jerry. How hard is it to act?
你说句话，我会假装很有趣
You say something. I'll pretend it's funny.
什么？ - 我祖母住院了
What? - My grandmother's in the hospital.
你祖母在医院
Your grandmother's in the hospital.
这确实让人信服 - 你认为我没有真的在笑？
This is real believable. - You didn't think I was laughing?
糟糕透顶 - 好吧，让我看看你做的
It stinks. - All right, let me see you do it.
说点有趣的 - 好
Say something funny. - All right.
我从没去过火星，但我想那一定很迷人
I've never been to Mars, but I imagine it's quite lovely.
我演得比你好，看啊
Mine was better than that. Come on, look:
你们干嘛要假笑？ - 我们在演戏
Why are you pretending to laugh? - We're acting.
哦，很不错
Oh, yeah, real good.
NBC有消息了吗？ - 没有
Any word from NBC? - No.
真不明白，他们这周应该选角了
I don't understand. They're supposed to be casting this week.
一定出了问题，也许他们不拍了
Maybe they're not doing it.
那么，至少让我试一次镜
Well, at least let me audition.
他想在试播中演克莱默
He wants to play Kramer in the pilot.
想也别想
Out of the question.
我们怎么会一点消息都没有？
How could we not hear anything?
这个拉塞尔怎么回事？他在做什么？
What's with this Russell? What's he doing?
嗨，拉塞尔，坐，请坐，没关系
Hi, Russell. Sit. Sit down. It's okay.
很高兴你能来
I really appreciate you coming.
哦，这没什么，我… 虽然我没多少时间，那么…
Oh, that's okay. l... I don't have much time, though, so...
没关系，那么，首先…
All right, well, first of all...
…关于那些电♥话♥我想道个歉
...I want to apologize for all the phone calls.
只是…只是…
It's just... It's just...
我不明白，我们曾约会过一次，而且…
I don't understand. We went out once, and...
对，那是两个月以前了
Yeah, that was two months ago.
是，我知道，我…我…我只是… 你在我脑海中挥之不去
Yes, I know, and l... l... I just... I can't get you out of my mind.
从那时起…
Ever since that...
从我们在餐馆见面之后…
The day in that restaurant when we met...
你是不是有关于番茄酱的秘密？ - 没有，但是…
Do you have a ketchup secret? - No, but...
拉塞尔，你是NBC的总裁
Russell, you are the president of NBC.
任何你想要的女人都可以手到擒来
You can have any woman you want.
但我想要你
But I want you.
上帝，我讨厌这些大杂烩
God, I hate these mixtures.
不知道为什么…他们为什么不把桌上的椒盐饼扔了
I don't know why... Why don't they just put pretzels out on the table?
或者只有花生也可以，但是…
Or even peanuts would be good, but...
…不知道谁会吃这种劣质食品
...I don't know who eats these cheesy things.
是不是因为我曾说过的话？
Is it something I said?
或做的事？
Or did?
听着，拉塞尔…
Look, Russell...
…你是个很好的人，只是…
...you're a very sweet guy, but...
…我必须向你坦诚
...I gotta be honest with you.
我不喜欢电视
I don't like television.
而它是你的世界，你的生活
And that's your world. That's your life.
也许如果你属于绿色和平组织之类的一切会变得不同…
Maybe if you were in Greenpeace or something, that would be different...
…但电视网什么的，我的意思是…
...but network television, I mean...
…好吧，拉塞尔，你就是问题的一部分
...come on, Russell. You're part of the problem.
伊莲，我们目前在筹备些很有趣的事
Elaine, we're doing some very interesting things right now.
我们为下季度准备了优秀的试播片
We've got very exciting pilots for next season.
其中一部的主演是一个富有天赋的年轻喜剧演员，叫杰瑞·宋飞
We have one with a bright young comedian, Jerry Seinfeld.
哦，对，我听说过他，他是那个说
Oh, yeah, you know, I've heard of him. He's that:
“你曾注意过这个吗？你曾注意过那个吗？”的人
"Did you ever notice this? Did you ever notice that?" guy.
事实上，我们相遇那天他也在餐馆
In fact, he was in the restaurant the day that we met.
无论如何，这都是个具有开创性的片子
Well, anyway, it's a groundbreaking show.
是吗？关于什么的？
Really? What is it about?
真的…它…它真的…非同寻常
Well, really... It's... It's really... It's very unusual.
它没有主题
It's about nothing.
没有主题，是什么意思？
What do you mean, it's about nothing?
举例说，你今天做了什么？
For example, what did you do today?
我起了床，之后去工作
I got up. I went to work.
然后来了这里
Then I came here.
这就是个秀，那部片子就是如此
There's a show. That's a show.
拉塞尔，你看，我对此真的不感兴趣…
Russell, see, I'm really not interested in this...
…而且我必须去…
...and I do have to...
工作，所以… - 伊莲，什么时候…？我们什么时候…？
...go to work, so... - Elaine, when...? When are we...?
我们什么时候能见面？ - 很抱歉，拉塞尔，我很抱歉，行了吗？
When are we gonna see each other? - I'm sorry, Russell. I'm sorry, okay?
再见
Bye-bye.
那么我们过会见？ - 对
So I'll see you later, huh? - Yeah.
你好，对，他在这，嘿！
Hello. Yeah, he's here. Hey!
你的电♥话♥ - 哦，是吗？
It's for you. - Oh, yeah?
现在找他的电♥话♥都打到这里了？
He's getting phone calls here now?
喂
Hello.
又穿运动裤了？
Again with the sweatpants?
怎么了？我觉得很舒服
What? I'm comfortable.
你知道你穿着运动裤意味着什么吗？
You know the message you're sending with these sweatpants?
你在告诉全世界：“我放弃了
You're telling the world, "I give up.
我无法在正常社会中竞争过他人
I can't compete in normal society.
我很失败，所以我还不如痛快点”
I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable."
等等，我还有个电♥话♥
Hold on a second, I got another call.
喂
Hello.
对，他会给你回电的
Yeah, he'll call you back.
是谁？ - 是NBC
Who is it? - That's NBC.
NBC？！把电♥话♥给我！
NBC?! Give me the phone!
我正和人在谈话 - 挂了电♥话♥
I'm having a conversation here. - Get off the phone.
好吧，我会给你回电的，对
Okay, look, I'll call you back. Yeah.
你知道我在等他们的电♥话♥
You know I'm waiting to hear from them.
是谁？ - 拉塞尔·达尔林普的秘书
Who was it? - Russell Dalrymple's secretary.
好，现在你做了点对我有用的事
All right. Now you're doing something to help me.
你好，对，我是杰瑞·宋飞
Hello. Yes, it's Jerry Seinfeld returning the call.
好，棒极了，谢谢
Okay, great. Thanks a lot.
明天四点在NBC选角，试播片要开拍了！
Casting tomorrow at NBC, 4:00. We're in business. The pilot's on!
你会一举成名
You're gonna be successful.
如果试播片被选中…
What if the pilot gets picked up...
…成了系列剧怎么办？
...and it becomes a series?
那再好不过了，你会功成名就的
That would be wonderful. You'll be rich and successful.
这就是我所担心的
That's why I'm worried.
在我成功之前，上帝就会要了我的命
God will kill me before letting me be successful.
他绝不会让我过得好 - 我以为你不信上帝
He'll never let me be happy. - You don't believe in God.
如果是厄运我就信
I do for the bad things.
你知道自己在说什么吗？
Do you hear what you're saying?
上帝不会抓着你不放，乔治
God isn't out to get you, George.
什么…？
What...?
你嘴唇上有什么东西？
What is that on your lip?
什么？ - 看上去像是褪色了，是白色的
What? - It's like a discoloration. It's white.
对，对，是白色的
Yes. Yes, it's white.
怎么会是白色的？ - 你最好去检查下
Why is that white? - You'd better get that checked out.
“最好去检查下”？ - 是我就会
"Better get that checked out"? - I would.
你这算是哪门子心理医生？
What kind of a therapist are you?
我告诉你我很害怕会发生什么事…
I'm telling you I'm scared something will happen...
…而你却联想到肿瘤？
...and you look for tumors?
我想帮助你 - 你是什么人，施虐狂？
I'm trying to help you. - What are you, like, a sadist?
无论谁感到沮丧，你只会雪上加霜
No matter how bad somebody feels, you can make it worse.
你喜欢肿瘤 - 你最好离开这里
You're rooting for a tumor. - You'd better go.
我就走，宝贝，我马上走！
I'm going, baby. I'm going!
哪里？ - 就在这