宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S04E23

Part 3 March 3, 2022, 1:18 p.m.

I don't understand. We had one date...
…两个月前
...two months ago.
我有这么魅力四射吗？
Am I that charming and beautiful?
不，不，你没有
No. No, you're not.
我为什么和你在一起？ - 我不知道
Why do I keep setting you up? - I don't know.
能再给我们加点吗？
Could we get a little more?
多加热下
Heat more.
自从这里换了老板，服务就变慢了
Ever since this new owner took over, the service here is really slow.
是啊，你有没有注意到其他的…
Yeah. Have you noticed anything else that's...
…新管理模式下的不同？
...different since the new management?
他们在金枪鱼里加了点柠檬，我喜欢
They're putting a little lemon in the tuna. I love that.
除了这个，看看这些女招待
Besides that. Look at the waitresses.
嗯？
Yeah?
你觉得…
What physical...
…她们有什么共同的身体特征吗？
...characteristic would you say is common to all of them?
我是说，看看这里
I mean, look at this.
在这工作的每一个女招待都有同样的比例，你觉得呢？
Every waitress working here has the same proportions, wouldn't you say?
对，我也觉得是
Yes. I would say.
这里怎么了？这怎么可能？
What's going on here? How is this possible?
你觉得这是个巧合吗？ - 不
Do you think it's a coincidence? - No.
除了罗斯·梅尔的电影我…我还从没同时看到过这样四个女人
l... I haven't seen four women like this together outside of a Russ Meyer film.
嗨，请问这里谁负责招聘招待？
Hi. Excuse me. Who does all the hiring of waitresses here?
是他，如果你认识什么人，我们正在招人
He does. We're looking for another girl if you know anyone.
你知道吗？这是歧视
You know what? That's discriminatory.
这不公平，为什么这些女人就有优势？
That is unfair. Why should these women have all the advantages?
她们得到男人的全部注意力也能得到所有的招待工作？
They get all the attention from men. They get all the waitress jobs too?
嘿，这就是生活，英俊的男人也有优势
Hey, that's life. Good-looking men have the same advantage.
你没见过无家可归的帅哥吧
You don't see any handsome homeless.
你看，就在这，是…是一点白色的
You see, it's right here. It's... It's a little white.
哦，对，对
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
我从没见过这个
I've never seen this before.
“从没见过这个”？
"Never seen this before"?
我要做一个活组织检查
I'm gonna have to take a biopsy on this.
一个什么？ - 一个活组织检查
A what? - A biopsy.
活组织检查？ - 对
A biopsy? - Yeah.
癌症？是癌症吗？我患了癌症吗？
Cancer? Is it cancer? Do I have cancer?
呃，我不知道是什么
Well, I don't know what it is.
他做了个活组织检查，杰瑞，活组织检查
He took a biopsy, Jerry. A biopsy.
他说了什么？ - 他不知道是什么
What'd he say? - He didn't know what it was.
好吧，那么？
All right, so?
当我询问癌症的事，他没有说：“少来了”
When I asked him about cancer, he didn't say, "Get out of here."
那是我想听的，“癌症？少来了”
That's what I wanted to hear, "Cancer? Get out of here."
也许他的性格就是不喜欢说“少来”
Maybe he doesn't have a "get out of here" kind of personality.
一个医生怎么不会说“少来”？
How could a doctor not say, "Get out of here"?
这应该是医学院训练的一部分，“癌症？少来
It should be part of medical school training. "Cancer? Get out of here.
回家去，你疯了吗？
Go home. What are you, crazy?
这是个小检查，没什么大不了的你真是麻烦，知道吗？”
It's a little test. It's nothing. You're a real nut, you know that?"
我告诉过你上帝绝不会让我成功
Told you God would never let me be successful.
我真不应该写那个试播剧本
I never should've written that pilot.
这部剧会大热，赚上一笔，然后我就死了
The show will be a hit, make millions, and I'll be dead.
死了，杰瑞，因为这个
Dead, Jerry. Because of this.
你就不能死得至少有点尊严吗？
Can't you at least die with a little dignity?
不，我不能
No, I can't.
我不能尊严地死去，我根本就没有尊严
I can't die with dignity. I have no dignity.
我想成为不带尊严而死的人
I want to be the person who doesn't die with dignity.
我的一生都活在耻辱之中为什么要死得有尊严？
I lived my whole life in shame. Why die with dignity?
嘿
Hey.
你昨天怎么了？
What happened to you yesterday?
我被打劫了
I got mugged.
你被打劫了？ - 打劫？
You got mugged? - Mugged?
原本不会发生的，但我跑回家去上厕所
I wouldn't have minded, but I was running home to go to the bathroom.
你干嘛不用大厦里的？ - 全满了
Why didn't you use it in the building? - It was full.
我试着去其他的地方，但都不行
I tried a few other places, you know, but that didn't work.
我是说，这很急，杰瑞
I mean, it was an emergency, Jerry.
我真的憋不住了
I was really percolating.
所以我决定穿过公园跑回家然后被两个人截住了
So I decided to run home through the park, and then two guys stopped me.
喂？ - 是我
Yeah? - It's me.
进来吧
Come on up.
现在我遇上了个大问题，兄弟
Now I got a big problem, buddy.
什么？ - 呃…
What is it? - Well...
我憋得太久，我…我错过时机了
I waited so long, l... I missed my chance.
你没解决？ - 没有，现在我找不到感觉了
You didn't go? - No, and now I can't get it back.
最好的办法就是不去想它
The best thing to do is just not think about it.
你怎么能不去想它？
How could you not think about it?
嘿 - 嘿
Hey. - Hey.
他怎么了？
What's the matter with him?
他遇到一点阻塞
He's a little backed-up.
伊莲
Elaine.
我和一些姐♥妹♥们♥讲了那家咖啡店的事
So I spoke to some of my sisters about that coffee shop.
哦，姐♥妹♥们♥
Oh, the sisters.
你见到那里的招待了吗？
Have you seen the waitresses in there?
我一生都没喝过那么多咖啡
I never had so much coffee in my life.
我们决定我应该去那里应聘一份工作
So we decided I should go over there and apply for a job myself.
应聘工作？为什么？
Apply for a job? What for?
因为这是歧视
Because it's discriminatory.
这是巧合
It's a coincidence.
你打算穿这个？ - 对
This is what you're gonna wear? - Yeah.
你不会得到那份工作
You're not gonna get the job.
确实如此
Exactly.
你好
Hello.
哦，嗨
Oh, hi.
对，我想可以，什么时间？
Yeah, I guess we could do that. At what time?
好的，我们那里见
All right. I'll see you there.
好，再见
Okay, bye.
谁？ - 演伊莲的
Who's that? - TV Elaine.
她想讨论一下角色
She wants to talk about the part.
那些狗怎么办？ - 它们在宾馆里做♥爱♥
What about the dogs? - They're having sex in the hotel room.
那么伊莲这个角色是基于你认识的人
So the Elaine character is based on someone you know.
是的 - 而且她真的是你前女友
Yes. - And she's really your ex-girlfriend.
是的 - 我想从内里了解她
Yeah. - I want to know her from the inside.
她是怎么样的人？跟我说说
What is she like? Tell me about her.
她痴迷于格陵兰岛，喜欢逗弄动物…
Well, she's fascinated with Greenland. She enjoys teasing animals...
…百伦的衣服，看人们为生活奔波
...Banlon and seeing people running for their lives.
她喜欢从窗口扔垃圾，但是依然举止优雅
She loves throwing garbage out the window, yet she's extremely dainty.
她会怎样吃汉堡？
How would she eat a hamburger?
用手 - 意大利面呢？
With her hands. - What about pasta?
还是用手
Also with her hands.
说真的
Seriously.
我想体验她经历过的一切
I want to experience everything she's experienced.
一切？
Everything?
一切 - 好吧，她吃意大利面时用刀具
Everything. - All right, she cuts pasta with a knife.
很好，她最喜欢的电影是什么？
Good. What's her favorite movie?
杀戮战警
Shaft.
你要给我张她的照片性生活呢？
You gotta give me her picture. What about sex?
她在床上时喜欢说话
She likes talking during sex.
说点带色的？
Dirty talking?
不，就是闲聊，电影，时事，普通话题
No. Just chitchat, movies, current events. Regular stuff.
我说，桑迪… - 伊莲
You know, Sandi... - Elaine.
什么？ - 叫我…
What? - Call me...
…伊莲
...Elaine.
好吧…
All right...
…伊莲 - 伊莲是怎么接吻的？
...Elaine. - How does Elaine kiss?
这个… - 她接吻是不是…
Well... - Does she kiss...
…像这样？
...like this?
事实上，她的舌头会不停旋转，像…
Actually, she has a thing where she spirals her tongue around. It's like a...
这样？
Like this?
我想你明白了
I think you got it.
现在，我要吃意大利面…
Now, I like to eat spaghetti...
…只用叉子
...with just a fork.
因为我要保持面条的长度…
Because I can keep the strands long...
…然后像这样把面送到口中，看