宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S04E19

Part 2 March 3, 2022, 1:18 p.m.

You think I should? - Are you kidding?
这是个绝好的机会可以增进你们的关系
It's a golden opportunity to advance the relationship.
她在哭，你就用手臂抱住并安慰她
She's crying. You put your arm around her and console her.
你就是这个安慰的人
You're the consolation guy.
我是安慰的人 - 安慰的人了不起
I'm the consolation guy. - Consolation guy is big.
她姑妈的死对你来说是绝好的机会
Her aunt dying is the best thing for you.
就像一下子约了10次会
It's like 10 dates in one shot.
这是展现你男朋友形象的时机
This confers upon you instant boyfriend status.
家人在那里
The family's there.
你处处照顾她，帮她去拿三明治你是她坚强的后盾
You're taking care of things. You're getting sandwiches. You're the rock.
葬礼在底特律，机票很贵啊
It's in Detroit, though. It's an expensive flight.
你为何不搭“家人死亡”的特♥价♥航♥班♥？
Why don't you get a "death in the family" fare?
什么？
What?
你去航♥空♥公♥司♥ 告诉他们你家里有人死了…
Go to the airlines. Tell them that you have a death in the family...
…他们会给你5折的优♥惠♥
...they give you 50 percent off the fare.
真的吗？ - 事实上…
Really? - In fact...
听着，我打算和你一起去就说我家里有人死了
...listen, I'll go with you. We'll tell them there's a death in my family.
你来买♥♥票，我跟你平分费用
You buy the ticket. I'll split it.
这样我拿到飞行奖励而你只要花四分之一的钱就能到底特律
Then I'll get the bonus miles and you'll get to Detroit for a quarter of the price.
天，我汗出得真舒服，出得好再出点汗，再出点汗
Boy, I'm getting a good sweat here. Great sweat. Good beads. Nice beads.
哦，看看谁来了，高科技人造胸（Silicon Valley硅谷）
Oh, look who's here. Silicon Valley.
总之，我们约过一次会他又约我出去…
Oh, so anyway. We go out on one date, and he asks me out for a second...
之后他又无故取消约会…
...and then out of nowhere he calls me, cancels the date...
并说他以后再也不想看到我
...and says he doesn't wanna see me again.
不好意思，我无意中听到了
Sorry. I couldn't help overhearing.
哦，没事的 - 他有说明原因吗？
Oh, that's okay. - Did he give you a reason?
嗯，他打算回到以前的女友那里
Yeah. He's going back to his old girlfriend.
真的吗？
Really?
他说她得神经病了
Said she's mentally ill.
他是那种有洁癖的完美主义者
He's one of those guys who is obsessed with neatness and order.
所有事情必须完美无缺他做纳粹再适合不过了
Everything has gotta be just so. He would have made a great Nazi.
嘿，他有跟你谈过超人吗？
Hey, does he ever talk about Superman?
有啊，你怎么知道的？ - 我知道这种人
Yes. How did you know? - I know the type.
哦，所以你推测到了？ - 哦，是的
Oh, so you can relate? - Oh, yeah.
我在俱乐部见过你我叫西卓拉，这是马希
You know, I've seen you around the club. My name's Sidra. This is Marcy.
哦，你好，我叫伊莲 - 你好
Oh, hi. I'm Elaine. - Hi.
总之，我站起来要去跟她握手但突然失去平衡…
Anyway, I stood up to shake her hand and suddenly I lost my balance...
我跌倒在她身上 - 你跌倒在她身上？
...and I fell right into her. - You fell on her?
我摸到了
I touched them.
你说什么？
You what?
我摸到她的胸了
I touched them.
你摸到她的胸了？
You touched them?
我需要借助它们防止摔倒
I needed them to help me break my fall.
否则我可能真的会伤到自己
If it hadn't been for them, I could have really injured myself.
总之…
Anyway...
它们是真的
...they're real.
你说什么？！
Excuse me.
我想它们可能是真的
I think they might be real.
哦，你怎么知道？你又没有摸♥胸♥的经历
Oh, what do you know? You have no breast-touching experience.
我摸过自己的 - 我也是
I've touched mine. - So have I.
哦，对，我忘了
Oh, right, I forgot.
总之平时摸摸♥胸♥不会让你成为胸部专家
Anyway, touching two breasts doesn't make you an expert.
算了，总之，我想它们是真的如果是真的，就太壮观了
All right. Anyway, I think they're real, and if they are, they are spectacular.
你都对我做了什么？
What are you doing to me?
你看…
You see...
…我的这位朋友，他的姑妈刚过世
...my friend here, his aunt passed away last...
哦，我感到很遗憾
Oh, I'm very sorry.
我上星期看她还很健康安宁但她自己知道就要不久于世了
I saw her last week. She looked healthy and peaceful but she knew.
真可怜啊
You poor thing.
你没办法自己买♥♥票？哦，没事，好的
You don't think you could buy the ticket yourself? Oh, no, okay.
我不能… - 不用了，请这，这边坐
I couldn't... - No, please. There, there. You sit.
我替你买♥♥票
I'll purchase the ticket for you.
你真是个好朋友
You're a good friend.
你们是不是提供五折的“丧亲”优♥惠♥？
I understand you offer a 50-percent-off bereavement fare?
是的，您只需要现在支付全额费用然后带死亡证明的复印件…
Yes. You have to pay the full fare now then return to one of our counters...
…来我们任何一个柜台我们会退还您一半的费用
...with a copy of the death certificate, and we'll refund half your fare.
死亡证明？
The death certificate?
是的，我们需要书面的证明否则人们可能会钻空子占便宜
Yes, we do need documentation or people could take advantage.
怎么有人会变♥态♥到做出这种事？
What kind of a sick person would do a thing like that?
我知道，但这种事情常发生
I know but it happens.
你要我朋友去叫刚失去44年结发妻子的叔叔…
You want my friend to ask his uncle, a man who lost his wife of 44 years...
就为了要一份死亡证明来节省一点点航♥班♥费用？
...for a death certificate to save a few bucks on a flight?
也就是往返387美元
That would be $387 round trip.
那么你可能需要我常用的飞行帐号♥ - 是的
You'll need my frequent flyer number. - Yes.
我不懂，一会儿你觉得它们是假的
I don't know. One minute they're fake...
一会儿它们又成真的了我都不知该相信哪个了
...the next they're real. I don't know what to believe.
嘿，我们两个中间我是唯一碰过它们的
Hey, of the two of us, I'm the only one who's touched them.
你不过是抓住它们救命而已
Well, you were grabbing onto them to save your life.
如果你快淹死了，我扔给你个救生工具…
If you were drowning and I threw you a life preserver...
你认为你能说清楚摸到的是不是硅胶？
...you think you could tell me if it was an inflatable?
要是我早知道你会因此不再见她我什么也不会说的
I wouldn't have said anything if I'd known you'd stop seeing her.
我不介意她性格虚伪但有些事是有底线的
I don't mind a phony personality but I gotta draw the line somewhere.
嘿 - 嘿
Hey. - Hey.
乔治去底特律了？ - 是的，还有两天后…
George off to Detroit? - Yep. And in two days...
我将去波多黎各
...l'm off to Puerto Rico.
嗨，克莱默，顺便说一下…
Hey, Kramer, by the way...
我在健身俱乐部看到那家伙了他不是萨尔曼·鲁西迪
...I saw that guy at the health club. That is not Salman Rushdie.
你肯定看错了
Wrong.
那是西卓拉 - 那是萨尔曼
There's Sidra. - There's Salman.
哪里？ - 正在跟那个女的说话
Where? - Talking to that woman.
跟西卓拉？ - 如果那是西卓拉，跟她说话的是萨尔曼
To Sidra? - lf that's Sidra, she's talking to Salman.
我不认为那是萨尔曼 - 我不认为它们是真的
I don't think that's Salman. - I don't think they're real.
如果那是鲁西迪，它们就是真的 - 如果它们是真的，那他是鲁西迪
lf that's Rushdie, they're real. - lf they're real, that's Rushdie.
我要知道答案，我去问西卓拉 - 我要知道答案，我去问萨尔曼
I gotta know. I'm talking to Sidra. - I gotta know. I'm talking to Salman.
这儿跟蒸桑拿似的，是吧？
Like a sauna in here, huh?
感觉就像回到沙漠一样
Feel like I'm back at the desert.
你曾在沙漠里生活过？ - 哦，是的，我曾经…
You've lived in the desert? - Oh, yeah. I've...
我在中东呆过一段时间
I spent a little time in the Mideast.
你去过中东吗？
You ever been to the Mideast?
是的，我去过 - 你好，我叫克莱默
Yes, I've been there. - Look, my name's Kramer.
我是萨尔·巴斯 - 好
Sal Bass. - Yeah.
很高兴认识你，克莱默 - 我也是
Pleased to meet you, Kramer. - Yeah.
那么…
So...
你做什么工作？
...what kind of work do you do?
我是个作家
I'm a writer.
你没见过我男朋友，乔治吧？ - 没有
Have you met my boyfriend, George? - No.
乔治，这是梅姑妈和杰斯普神父
George, this is Aunt May and Father Jessup.
噢，那是我弟弟，提米
Oh, and that's my brother, Timmy.
这是我男朋友，乔治
This is my boyfriend, George.
乔治，你能远到而来，太好了
Oh, George, how nice of you to come all this way.
嗯，我是她男朋友否则还要男朋友干嘛？
Well, I'm the boyfriend. Otherwise, what's the point of being the boyfriend.
这是男朋友该出现的场合
This is where you have to be when you're the boyfriend.
贝丝蒂，亲爱的，你吃东西了吗？
Betsy, dear, have you had anything to eat?
我不是很饿 - 他们准备了非常好吃的点心
I'm not very hungry. - They have some very nice snacks.
我准备给自己拿些点心
I'm about to get myself a snack.
噢，不要了，你就坐在这里
Oh, no. You sit right here.
我给你去拿些好吃的点心
I will get you a nice snack.
这是我…
This is my...
…这个月第三次守夜
...third wake this month.
没有一次好捱的
Never gets any easier.
嗯，失去爱人是…
Well, losing a loved one is...
我是说，忘了吧
I mean, forget about it.
你…
You...
你看起来给贝丝蒂很大安慰我们很感谢你
You seem to be of great comfort to Betsy. We're very appreciative.
我才不想安慰人呢
Comfort "schmomfort."
听着，神父，我能问你个问题吗？
Listen, Father, can I ask you a question?
在像现在这样可悲的时候…
In a terrible time like this...
…我可以向谁拿到死亡证明？
...who would I get the death certificate from?
哦，杰瑞 - 哦，你怎么能这么肯定？
Oh, Jerry. - Oh, how can you be so sure?
杰瑞，你瞎了吗？他是个作家他说他叫萨尔·巴斯
Jerry, are you blind? He's a writer. He said his name was Sal Bass.
巴斯，杰瑞