宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S04E11

Part 1 March 3, 2022, 1:17 p.m.

不要想像你父母做♥爱♥的场景
Don't visualize your parents having sex.
知道什么意思吗？不知何故它会让你很不自在
You know what I mean? It's somehow very uncomfortable.
你知道他们至少云雨一番才能有你
You know they had to have sex at least once to have you.
但你脑海中仍然有那幅画面：
But you still kind of maintain the image in your head:
“我不知道，我不肯定，我证明不了
"Well, I don't know. I'm not positive. I can't prove it.
我不清楚是否确实发生过”
I don't know if that actually happened."
这就是如果我发现我是被领养的则是个好消息
That's why if I found I was adopted, that would come as great news.
“我是被领养的？太好了”
"I'm adopted? That's great."
很乐意听到那么说那就意味着严格地说…
I'd be happy to hear that. That means technically...
有可能事实上我爸妈只是很好的朋友而已
...it's possible, that my mother and father are just really great friends.
性♥爱♥是伟大的但别以为你的一生就开始了…
Sex is great, but you don't wanna think your whole life began...
…只是因为某人在晚餐时喝多了
...because somebody had a little too much wine with dinner.
问你一个问题
Let me ask you a question.
你被恐♥怖♥分♥子♥劫为人♥质♥
You're a hostage captured by terrorists.
谁，我吗？ - 你，任何人，怎么都可以
Who, me? - You, anybody. Whatever.
你被锁在一个小房♥间的地板上
You're in the little room. You're chained to the floor.
你在那里待了很长时间
You're there for a long time.
你觉得他们会考虑洗衣服吗？
Do you think they would consider doing laundry?
他们必须得洗这个受日内瓦公约保护
They have to. It's in the Geneva Convention.
你，脱掉袜子裤子和内♥裤♥，我们洗一下
You. Take off your socks and pants. We're doing the wash.
快，脱，脱掉
Come on. Take it off. Take it off.
嘿，乔治 - 嗨
Hey, Georgie. - Hi.
怎么了？
What's the matter?
我妈逮着我了
My mother caught me.
逮着你了？做什么了？
Caught you? Doing what?
你们也知道
You know.
我当时一个人…
I was alone...
你意思是…？
You mean...?
她逮着你了？ - 在哪里？
She caught you? - Where?
我去我妈家还车…
I stopped by the house to drop the car off...
…进去就几分钟
...and I went inside for a few minutes.
那儿没人他们应该都去上班的
Nobody was there. They're supposed to be working.
我妈有本《魅力》，我开始翻着看（介绍最新美容、发型和服饰潮流的时尚杂♥志♥）
My mother had a Glamour magazine. I started leafing through it.
《魅力》？
Glamour?
因此起了连锁反应 - 她做什么了？
So one thing led to another. - What did she do?
首先她大声喊道 “乔治，你在做什么？天哪！”
First she screams, "George, what are you doing? My God!"
看似她像要晕倒
Looked like she was gonna faint.
她开始抓住墙，试图紧贴到墙上
She started clutching the wall, trying to hang onto it.
我不知道是否让她倒下去还是拉上裤链
I didn't know whether to keep her from falling or zip up.
你怎么做的 - 我拉上了裤链
What did you do? - I zipped up.
难道她跌倒了？ - 是的
So she fell? - Yeah.
我从那儿跑不过去
Well, I couldn't run over there the way I was.
是，我猜你没跑 - 我倒觉得不是
No, I guess you couldn't. - I wouldn't think so.
她跌倒了，然后开始尖叫 “我的背，我的背！”
So she fell, and then she starts screaming, "My back, my back!"
我把她扶起来送到了医院
I picked her up. I took her to the hospital.
她怎么样了？ - 正在接受牵引治疗
How is she? - She's in traction.
不好意思 - 这不好笑，伊莲
I'm sorry. - It's not funny, Elaine.
抱歉，我知道这很严重
I know. I'm sorry. It's serious.
她的背弄伤了，得在医院待一段时间
Her back went out. She's gotta be there for a couple of days.
去的路上她在车里她一直念叨 “为什么，乔治，为什么？”
All she said on the way over in the car was, "Why, George, why?"
我说，“因为它在那里”
I said, "Because it's there."
《魅力》?
Glamour?
我要告诉你们，不过：
I'll tell you this, though:
我再也不会那样做了…
I am never doing...that again.
什么？你是说在你妈家还是全部？
What? You mean in your mother's house or altogether?
全部 - 噢，省省吧
Altogether. - Give me a break.
才怪
Yeah, right.
你们觉得我做不到？ - 不可能
You don't think I can? - No chance.
你觉得你能？ - 我能坚持得比你时间长
You think you could? - I could hold out longer than you.
不介意把这个弄有趣些吧？（意思是他们要打赌）
Care to make it interesting?
当然可以，多少？
Sure. How much?
100块？
Hundred dollars?
算你一个
You're on.
等等，等等，把我也算上
Wait a second. Wait a second. Count me in on this.
你？等我们结账之前你就会出局
You? You'll be out before we get the check.
我也想加入
I want in on this.
不，不行 - 男女有别
No, no. - It's apples and oranges.
这不一样 - 为什么？为什么？
It's different. - Why? Why?
因为你是个女的 - 那又怎么样？
Because you're a woman. - So what?
女的可以很容易说不干了，我们必须得做
It's easier for a woman not to do it than a man. We have to do it.
这是我们生活方式的一部分
It's part of our lifestyle.
就像刮胡须一样
It's like shaving.
真是胡扯，我也刮腿毛
That is such baloney. I shave my legs.
不是每天吧
Not every day.
你想加入？ - 是
You wanna be in? - Yeah.
你要我们和你打赌至少掏一倍的钱，你要掏200
You gotta give us odds. At least 2-1. You gotta put up $200.
不，1000
No. A thousand.
不，我出150
No. I'll put up 150.
好的，150 让你加入 - 好，150
All right. You're in for 150. - Okay, 150.
我们怎么监督这个？
How we gonna monitor this?
很明显，我们对彼此都很了解
Obviously, we all know each other very well.
肯定大家都会在这荣誉体系限度内感到舒服自在
I'm sure we'll all feel comfortable within the confines of the honor system.
好的，来
All right. Come on.
不，妈妈，我不去看精神病医生
No, Ma. I'm not gonna see a psychiatrist.
我才不在乎你买♥♥单
I don't care if you do pay for it.
不，就说这么多
No. Discussion over.
是，好的，随后见
Yeah, all right. I'll see you later.
是，当然我有空会过来
Yes, of course I'm gonna come by.
好的
All right.
我妈现在想让我去看精神病医生
My mother wants me to see a psychiatrist now.
为什么？就因为她逮着我了？
Why? Because she caught me?
如果每个那样做了的人都去看精神病医生的话…
You know, if everyone who did that had to go see a psychiatrist...
什么…？
Yeah...?
随便
Whatever.
她怎么样？ - 会好的
How is she? - She'll be fine.
我打算今晚去医院看她
I gotta go see her at the hospital.
谁啊？ - 是我
Yeah? - It's me.
上来
Come on up.
嗨，晚上做什么？ - 和玛勒约会
Hey, what are you doing tonight? - Date with Marla.
哦，那个处♥女♥？ - 是啊
Oh, the virgin? - Yeah.
有什么最新进展？
Any progress there? What's the latest?
我的部队已经集结在边境
I got my troops amassed along the border.
正在等某人给我前进的命令
I'm waiting for someone to give me the go-ahead.
嗨，到这儿看，街对面有个裸女
Hey, look at this. Come here. There's a naked woman across the street.
在哪里？
Where?
从顶层数第二层，看到左面的窗户了吗？
Second floor from the top. See the window on the left?
谁会在房♥间里这样裸着？
Who walks around the house like that?
也许她是个裸体主义者他们是裸体聚居地的人
Maybe she's a nudist. You know those nudist-colony people.
是的
Yeah.
没错
Yeah.
我问你，在这些裸体主义者的领地…
Let me ask you, in these nudist colonies...
…他们在餐厅吃饭也裸体吗？
...do they eat naked in the dining room?
我能想到都是全♥裸♥
I would imagine it's all naked.
保洁员也是裸体吗？
Are the chambermaids naked too?
裸体，花匠、服务生也是裸体
They're naked. The gardener's naked. Bellhops.
这是个大的裸体盛宴啊
It's one big nude-o-rama.
- Hey. - Hey.
我的钱在哪里？谁退缩了？
Well, where's my money? Who caved?
我没有 - 我没有
Not me. - Not me.
你们在看什么？ - 街对面的一个裸女
What are you looking at? - A naked woman across the street.
这钱将是我有生以来赚得最容易的
This is gonna be the easiest money I've ever made in my life.
我朋友乔伊斯教有氧健身课，我晚上要去
My friend Joyce is teaching an aerobics class. I'm gonna go tonight.
是，这个服务员应当把它带回去
Yeah, well, the waitress should've taken it back.
早上接到个电♥话♥ 我被选中去坐航♥天♥飞机
Then, I got a call this morning. I was chosen to go on the space shuttle.
我要去火星了 - 旅途愉快
We're going to Mars. - Have a good time.
我退出
I'm out.
怎么了？
What?
是的，我退出，我退出竞赛
Yeah, I'm out. I'm out of the contest.
你退出？ - 对
You're out? - Yeah.
哇哦，那也太快了
Wow, that was fast.
就因为街对面那个女人