神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S01E20

Part 2 Oct. 1, 2020, 12:40 p.m.

Though I did take diet pills in the '70s.
倒是在七十年代那阵试过减肥药
I love these pills. They give me so much energy.
我喜欢这药让我精力充沛
And I can eat whatever I want.
还不用节食
Oh, God!
哦天哪
He's dead!
他死了
Actually, I was in a coma.
其实我是昏迷了
When I woke up, I had so much mail.
等我醒过来发现一堆邮件
Weight-loss science has come a long way since then.
瘦身科学在那之后进步不少
Mm-hmm.
嗯哼
"Ingredients... carrot." Got to respect that.
原料胡萝卜不得不服
Damn, Gina!
靠 Gina
What is that?
这是什么
Oh, it's a sloppy Jessica.
噢是"奶面辣萨"
Mac 'n' cheese, chili, pizza on a bun.
面包上加了奶酪通心面和辣椒披萨
It's everything I've wanted to eat for the last 48 hours.
全是我这48小时最想吃的
Mmm. Mmm.
嗯嗯
What happened?
怎么回事啊
I thought you were gonna "Last forever, bitches!"
我以为你要"坚持到海枯石烂小贱♥人♥们"
Turns out I gave up easy.
结果我说放弃就放弃了
You hear that, bitches?
你们听到了吗小贱♥人♥们
I gave up so easy!
我轻而易举就放弃了哟
Thank you!
谢谢
Hey, are you sure it's a good idea
嘿马上就要试穿礼服了
to eat all this shawarma right before your tux fitting?
你真想把这些土耳其烤肉全吃掉吗
Oh, yeah.
当然
I'm not gonna be one of those grooms who doesn't eat.
我可不想做那种节食的新郎
Mmhmm. Hey.
嗯哼嘿
Thanks for being so supportive all day.
谢谢你今天如此支持我
Best man... whatever you need, I will do.
伴郎嘛不管你需要什么我都会去做
Actually, there is one thing.
其实确实有一件事
Do you have a pen I could borrow to sign these forms?
你能借我一支笔把这些表填了吗
You bet I don't have a pen. I never do.
当然不能借给你我从来没有过笔
But I will get you one.
但是我会给你找一支
What is it, some sort of marriage license thingy?
这是什么办结婚证的手续文件吗
Oh, no, it's my retirement paperwork.
噢不是是我的退休文件
What? Shut up. What? Yeah.
啥得了吧你说什么是的
Vivian got a job in suburban Ottawa.
Vivian在渥太华郊区找了份工作
She wants me to retire from the NYPD and go with her.
她想让我从纽约警局退休和她一起过去
Retire?
退休
Boyle, we're supposed to die on the force together...
Boyle 我们应该一起殉职的啊
me in a big explosion,
我死于大爆♥炸♥
and you committing suicide at my funeral out of respect.
出于尊重你在我的葬礼上自杀
I know.
我知道
But Vivian needs to make this move for her career,
但是Vivian的事业需要进一步发展
and I'm excited to go.
我也挺期待的
I mean, suburban Ottawa's great.
我是说渥太华的郊区很棒
It has everything Brooklyn does.
布鲁克林有的那儿全都有
Really? Yes...
真的真的
Other than my job and my friends and my family,
除了我的工作我的家人和朋友
you, interesting people, museums, restaurants,
你有趣的人博物馆餐厅
every other reason that I have to live.
还有一切我为之生活的理由
Okay, I'm kind of picking up on a couple of clues
好了我现在有点头绪了
that you maybe don't want to retire in Canada.
可能你并不想去加拿大
Oh, my God.
噢天哪
Jake, you're such an amazing detective.
Jake 你简直是个神探
I don't want to go.
我不想去
Okay, Boyle, let's strategize
好了 Boyle 我们来想想对策
on how you're gonna tell Vivian
看你该怎么跟Vivian说
that you don't want to move to Canada.
你不想搬去加拿大
No, Jake, I'm not gonna say anything.
不要 Jake 我什么都不会说的
Just drop it.
别提这个了
We have the perfect relationship.
我们的感情甚好
We've never fought.
从不争吵
I don't want to mess up and ruin it.
我可不想毁了这段感情
She's my everything.
她是我的全部
Move your testicles to the left. 104.
那你的蛋蛋往左移一点收到
She's your fiancee.
她是你的未婚妻
You can't be scared to talk to her.
你不能害怕跟她交流
Testicles to the right...
蛋往右移
You know, can we actually cool it on the testicles for a minute?
我说我们能先把蛋的事儿放一边吗
No, I'm on the testicle part.
不能我和蛋正忙着呢
Honestly, Jake, I wouldn't even know how to bring it up.
说实话 Jake 我都不知道怎么开口
What if it goes badly?
万一进展不顺呢
It won't. Just tell her how you feel.
不会的你只要告诉她你的感受就行了
Say something like, "Vivian, I love you, but we need to talk about Ottawa."
就说"我爱你Vivian 但我们得谈谈去渥太华的事儿"
Right. And then she'll say, "You're a selfish man-pig,
没错然后她就会说"你真是一头自私的猪
and I hope you die alone, and I never loved you."
祝你孤独终老而且我从没爱过你"
Oh, God. She never loved me.
噢天哪她从没爱过我
She's not gonna say any of that
她才不会那么说
because she's not criminally insane.
她又不是疯子
Okay, just calm down.
好啦淡定
We'll think of something together.
我们会一起想办法的
We're going to the stationery store next.
一会儿去隔壁的文具店
We can write a bunch of stuff down.
我们把这些想法都写下来
It's gonna be all right. Take a deep breath.
一切都会好的深呼吸
No deep breaths.
别深呼吸
Makes the testicles clap.
蛋蛋会缩在一起
Mm.
恶
Detective Diaz.
Diaz侦探
How's your apology to officer Deetmore coming?
你跟Deetmore警官道歉的事怎么样了
I've been working on a letter to send him.
我正给他写道歉信呢
Yes, I saw a draft of it on your desk.
我看到你桌上的草稿了
What did you think?
怎么样
It was so horrifying, I had to destroy the whole pad.
太吓人了我只好把整本都烧了
Just go downstairs and apologize.
直接下楼去道歉就行了
Fine. I'll say, "I'm sorry."
好吧我就说"对不起"
No, be sincere, like this...
不行真诚点像这样
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
对不起对不起
I'm sorry.
对不起
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
对不起对不起
Good. That's the one.
好就这样
Still working on that afternoon almond?
还在吃那个下午加餐的杏仁吗
I've been sucking on it so long, it's smooth.
我一直含着时间太长它都圆滑了
It's like sea glass. You do you.
感觉就像海玻璃你做的很好
I'll get that for you, Ames.
Ames 我帮你捡起来
Oops!
啊哦
Butter feet... sorry about that.
脚滑了抱歉哈
Sorry? You bumbling son of a bitch!
抱歉你个蠢婊♥子♥养♥的♥
You just ruined my life!
你刚毁了我的人生
I hope you get hit by a truck
我祝你出门被车撞
and a dog takes a dump on your face!
狗在你脸上拉屎
Nothing to see here...
没什么好看的
just a little hypoglycemic rage.
就是低血糖引发的小小愤怒
Move along.
继续干♥你♥们的活
I'm so sorry, Hitchcock. That's not me.
太对不起了 Hitchcock 那不是我
I'm never like that.
我从来不会那样的
That's okay. It was my fault.
没关系是我的错
I shouldn't have bumped your cashew.
我不该撞飞你的腰果
Cashew? It was an almond, you idiot!
腰果那是杏仁你个傻♥逼♥
I hope you drown in a tub!
我祝你在浴缸里淹死
I hope you have aneurysm after aneurysm after aneurysm!
祝你的动脉瘤一波一波又一波地冒出来
Okay, buddy.
好了兄弟
We have got some great opening lines here,
我们已经写了几个很赞的开场白
three very reasonable explanations
有三个理由可以合情合理地解释
as to why you don't want to go to Canada,
你为什么不想去加拿大
and four very attractive options for your invitation card stock.
还有四种请帖用纸可供选择
Well, I like " Romantic Opening 'C.' "
我喜欢"浪漫开场白C"
this page about how my life is New York,
这张纸记录了我的纽约生活
and I love the Chantilly Ecru paper for place cards.
席次牌我想用尚蒂伊本色纸
That is an excellent choice.
这个选择非常棒