神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S01E18

Part 2 Oct. 1, 2020, 12:39 p.m.

Oh, wow.
哇
It is always so crazy coming back here.
回到这里感觉太好了
Remember when Nanna got cable?
还记得奶奶家装有线电视时
We watched house party 2 so many times.
我们看了<家庭派对2>好多遍
It was a pajama-jamma-jam. We had no choice.
那次睡衣派对啊我们没有其他选择
Our hands were tied. I gotta say,
我们手绑在一起我得说
I'm psyched to be hanging like this, old-school stylez.
跟你待在这里真有趣就像小屎候
"Stylez" With a "Z".
小屎候不是小时候
Oh, I could tell.
我听得出来
Okay, well, maybe we can figure out a way for you
好了也许我们能想出办法
to afford this place.
让你能买♥♥下这里
Where's all your bank statements?
你的银行对账单呢
Hup, hup, before we get all financial,
等等别急财政问题开始前
can I interest you in an ice-cold foh-dy?
你要来瓶冰镇啤酒吗
A'ight.
好哒
So talk to me, goose.
回答我 Goose(<壮志凌云>经典台词)
How we lookin'?
我们咋样
Sexy, but not like we're trying too hard.
很性感但完全不是有意为之
Like, sure, we're trying,
我们的确是在装酷
but it's almost effortless.
但是显得自然潇洒
Yeah, no, I knew all of that.
不这些我知道
I meant the money thing.
我是说钱的事情
Oh. My first impression
哦我的第一印象是
is that you have a debilitating spending problem.
你有花钱大手大脚的毛病
Jake, you have six massage chairs.
Jake 你有六张按♥摩♥椅
Well, they don't make a massage couch.
谁让他们不生产按♥摩♥沙发的
Okay, but you also have three turntables.
好吧你还有三个电唱盘
Ooh, yeah! I'm learning how to spin.
是啊我在学习打碟
Check it out.
来瞅瞅
All I have are my grandma's old klezmer records,
我只有奶奶的老犹太歌♥曲唱片
and I still haven't quite figured out how to sync up the beats,
也没搞懂怎么合上拍子
but it's not bad, right?
但还凑合对不
It's awful!
糟透了
It sounds like Joy Behar falling down some stairs.
听着像Joy Behar从楼梯上摔下来
Okay, you also purchased olympus Has Fallen on demand 12 times.
你还点播了12次<奥林匹斯的陷落>
Was it a difficult movie for you to follow?
这电影你看不懂吗
No, just watched it a lot.
不就是看了很多遍
So hit me.
好了摊牌吧
How much do I have to cut back in order to keep this place?
要是我想留着这房♥子得节约多少开支
Infinity percent.
百分之无穷大
Technically speaking, you're bankrupt, kiddo.
事实上你已经破产了老兄
That sounds bad.
听着很糟啊
It is bad.
非常糟
I only said "Kiddo" To soften the blow, kiddo.
我喊"老兄"只是为了减轻对你的打击老兄
This is so unfair.
这太不公平了
I've lived in this building 15 years,
我在这房♥子住了15年了
and then all of the sudden, they decide they're going co-op with zero warning?
一夜之间招呼都不打一声就要被收回了
It seems illegal they didn't tell you this was happening.
不事先通知的话好像是违法的
Well, it's possible I missed a letter,
其实可能是我错过了通知
but I doubt it.
不过也不一定啦
Ooh, let's check the mail tub.
对了去翻翻邮缸
Mail tub?
邮缸
Nope. No.
不不是
No.
不是
See? It's impossible to find anything in here.
瞧见没在这儿要找东西根本不可能
It's not my fault.
可不能怨我
This is actually a cool little bathroom.
这个小浴室其实挺酷的
Nice claw-foot tub.
这么赞的猫爪浴缸
Which I will never throw my mail into again.
我再也不会往里面扔信件了
Unless...
除非
I didn't want to do this, but I do know one way we could get the money.
我不想出此下策但确实有个筹钱的方法
You'd make a decent prostitute.
你当鸭会很不错
I'd make an amazing prostitute.
我当鸭会一炮而红
But I was actually talking about this guy I know, Frank.
其实我是想说我认识个叫Frank的家伙
He's kinda skeevy, but he will loan money to anybody.
他有点让人讨厌但是会给任何人放贷
So he's a loan shark.
所以他是个放高♥利♥贷♥的
Maybe you're not thinking this through.
或许你还没想清楚
Says the woman who's been engaged eight times.
这话竟然出自订婚八次的女人之口
Uh, but never married once.
但我没结过一次婚
Game, set, match...Linetti
时间到我赢了
Well, it's the only choice I have.
好吧我别无他法了
So let's go.
所以走起
Sir, I know we got off to a weird start,
长官我知道开头不太顺利
so to get things back on track,
为了让一切回到正轨
I'd like to bring in Santiago next.
我想下一个让Santiago来
She's had a great year.
过去一年她成绩斐然
You wanted to see me, sirs?
长官你们想见我
I was reading the sergeant's lips through the window,
我刚才隔着窗户读警长的唇语
and he either said, "Bring in Santiago next,"
他要么说了"下一个让Santiago来"
or something about a San Diego nest.
要么说了"下个上帝压狗来"啥的
Are you ready for your self-evaluation?
你的自我评估准备好了吗
I am.
准备好了
I understand from a lip-reading session last week
根据上星期读的一次唇语我了解到
that you intend to ask us each ten questions.
您打算问我们每人十个问题
Normally, yes,
一般人是
but for you, I have just one question.
对于你我只有一个问题
What is your biggest...
说说你最大的
Flaw?
缺点
My biggest flaw?
我最大的缺点
Working too hard?
工作太认真
Being too thorough?
太细心
Caring too much?
太热心
Got it.
懂了
Something entirely different.
完全不是这些
Rosa, look!
Rosa 快看
Lohank is shaving right now.
Lohank在剃胡子了
Noooo!
不要啊
Boyle, call an ambulance.
Boyle 去叫救护车
I'm gonna do some stuff to him.
我要对他采取点措施了
Or we give him a taste of his own medicine.
或者以其人之道还治其人之身
We fill his locker with shaving cream and loose hair.
在他的储物柜里塞满剃须膏和碎毛发
I like it.
我喜欢
I cannot believe I am considering a non-violent option.
不敢相信我竟然会考虑非暴♥力♥措施
And I know just where to get a bundle of loose hair.
而且我知道从哪里搞到一堆碎毛发
How much interest do you charge?
你要收多少利息
Look, I'm not a bank.
听着我不是银行
It's my own personal money.
这是我的私有资金
So I take a larger vig.
所以抽头要得高
20 points
20个百分点
A "Vig." So cool.
抽头太酷了
Well, I don't need much.
其实我借得不多
Just, like, $430,000.
大概只要43万美金
Nah, too much.
不太多了
I make small loans to desperate losers.
我做小♥额♥贷♥款♥ 给那些绝望的失败者
And friends, like you.
以及像你这样的朋友
Well, I'm happy this went terribly.
好了很高兴这一切很不顺利
Uh, we do have to go now, so please excuse us.
我们得走了失陪
Wait, I just need enough to show the co-op board
等一下我只要够钱向合作公♥司♥理事会
I can make a down payment at the bank.
证明我能向银行付清首♥付♥就行
How about $20,000?
两万美金怎么样
Two bags of ziti?
两袋通心面
That I can do.
这个没问题
"Bags of ziti?"
"通心面"
Come on, Gina, how awesome is that?
来吧 Gina 多赞呀
Get on board.
入伙吧
Come on, Gina. Get on board.
来吧 Gnia 入伙吧
Jake, he is a sea witch in disguise.
Jake 他是一个伪装的海巫
Do not sing into his shell.
别被卖♥♥了还替他数钱
I have no idea what you're talking about right now.
我不知道你刚说的什么
Oh, little mermaid.
哦可怜的小美人鱼