神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S01E07

Part 4 Oct. 1, 2020, 12:36 p.m.

Oh, Captain, I'm happy to go.
警监我很乐意去啊
I love the saltwater taffy down there.
我喜欢那边的咸水太妃糖
Scully loves the saltwater taffy down there.
Scully喜欢那边的咸水太妃糖呢
No, Peralta's going. Go, Peralta.
不 Peralta去快动身吧
Look, I know I caused this problem, but I can fix it.
我知道问题是我搞出来的但我能解决
We just got some new security footage in.
我们刚收到一些最新的监控录像
Let me stay here and go through it.
让我待在这儿看一遍
I'm gonna prove that Whitman was at the scene of the crime,
我会证明Whitman在案发现场
even if it kills me.
即使这录像会搞死我
This is killing me.
我要被搞死了
Good. Die.
好极了去死吧
You know, if it does come to that,
如果真到了那个地步
I have but one wish before I go.
我死之前有一个心愿
Can I please put your glasses on my penis?
我能把你眼睛戴到我鸡鸡上吗
I just think that would be really funny.
我就觉得那样肯定很好笑
Hey, can you make copies
能不能帮我
of these warrant requests for me?
复印一下这些逮捕申请
I'm not your secretary.
我又不是你的秘书
You're everyone's secretary.
你是大家的秘书
That's literally your job.
这就是你的工作
And your job is lying about your taste buds?
你的工作是对你的味蕾撒谎吗
I'm sorry about the whole pie blowup thing.
很抱歉派味大赛被我搞成这样
You're right.
你说得对
The flatbush diner pie is awful.
弗拉特布♥什♥餐厅的派太难吃了
Thank you. It's just...
谢谢只不过
I want Rosa to like me.
我想要Rosa喜欢我
All right, do whatever you want,
好吧随你吧
but most women don't really like it when dudes lie to them.
不过大部分女人都不喜欢男人对她们撒谎
Except for me, but I'm wired to thrive on dysfunction.
除了我不过我有点机能障碍
Nothing.
什么都没有
Wait, wait, wait. This guy... 5'9 " Or 5'10",
等下等下这个人 1米75或1米78
black knit cap.
黑色毛线帽
Come on, come on, come on.
快点快点
Gotcha!
抓住你了吧
Ugh, it's not him.
不是他
Let's just arrest this guy. Who even cares anymore?
去逮捕这个人吧还有人在乎吗
So how'd my new best friend Luke take it
你又取消约会之后
when you cancelled on him again?
我的新任好朋友Luke有什么反应
Don't know, hasn't called me back.
不知道还没给我回电♥话♥
Which is what always happens,
总是没人给我回电♥话♥
because it's impossible to be a cop and date.
因为作为一名警♥察♥ 根本不可能约会
Amy, look. There is a guy out there
Amy 世界上有那么一个男人
with incredibly low standards
标准低得吓人
and a super weird soul patch,
还有一撮超级奇怪的小胡子
and he is waiting for you.
他在等着你哦
Amy, my patch tingles for you.
Amy 我的小胡子为你沸腾
We will wed on the isle of New Jersey.
我们会在新泽西的海岛城结婚
Our first dance will be to Jessie's Girl,
我们第一次跳舞的伴奏是
because my name is definitely Jessie.
因为我的名字绝对是Jessie
It's so romantic. Hey, guys.
真浪漫嘿伙计们
Hey. Yeah, there's good news, and there's bad news.
嘿有好消息有坏消息
The bad news is my salt water taffy place was closed.
坏消息是卖♥♥盐水太妃糖那店关门了
And the good news?
好消息呢
Whitman's alibi checked out.
Whitman的不在场证明成立
Security footage from torque shows he was there.
托克酒吧的监控录像证实他确实在那儿
That's not good news.
这不是好消息
That's bad news. Right. That is bad news.
这是坏消息没错是坏消息
Sorry, it's on me.
抱歉怪我
No, Detective Scully, it's on Peralta.
不 Scully警探怪Peralta
No, Captain, that's on Santiago.
不警监怪Santiago
It's on me. It's still on me.
怪我还是怪我
This is such a disaster.
真是场大灾难
It's not good. D.A.'s furious.
确实是地检很火大
Whitman and his lawyer are in my office right now,
Whitman和他的律师现在在我办公室
gunning for a lawsuit. No, not that.
盘算着要告我们我不是说这个
My brother-in-law is coming to have dinner with me
我姐夫准备去肯尼迪机场
on his way to JFK.
顺路来和我吃晚饭
But also the botched investigation, that's bad too.
但调查搞砸了也很糟
Okay, what can I do?
有什么我能做的
Oh, your services will not be necessary,
这里不需要你了
because you need to go home and change for your date.
回家换衣服去约会吧
What? I called handsome Luke.
啥我给帅哥Luke打了电♥话♥
I explained the weekend
我跟他解释了这周末的事
was entirely my fault, partially.
某种程度上来说全都是我的错
And he wants to go out with you tonight.
他今晚想和你出去约会
Thanks, Peralta. You're welcome.
谢谢 Peralta 不客气
Just promise me you won't use the condoms
跟我保证你不会用
in the secret pocket of your purse, okay?
你钱包秘袋里的套套好不好
They're expired. How do you know what's in my purse?
它们过期了你怎么知道我钱包里有什么
I needed concealer for a zit.
我要遮瑕膏遮痘痘
Plus, you know, we spend so much time together here,
而且我们整天都在一起
I know everything about everyone.
每个人的所有事情我都知道
I know Hitchcock went bald at 15.
我知道Hitchcock十五岁就秃了
Scully used to date Hitchcock's wife.
Scully和Hitchcock的老婆约过会
Charles has a bike with a little basket on the front.
Charles有一辆前面挂了小篮子的自行车
How else would you carry baguettes?
那不然法棍面包放哪儿
And Rosa has a shower in her apartment, I think.
Rosa的公♥寓♥里有淋浴我觉得
I got nothing on her.
我对她一无所知
Good.
很好
Well, I guess we did just spend 48 hours
那看来这48小时我们就只是
locked in here together
一起被关在这儿了而已
Holy crap.
天咧
What? Locked in here together.
怎么了被关在一起
So we will be filing a wrongful arrest suit
我们要提出对纽约警局的
against the NYPD.
非正当逮捕的起诉
And when I win, I'm gonna buy club torque,
等我赢了我要买♥♥下托克酒吧
put a statue of Jake Peralta
弄一Jake Peralta的塑像
right in the middle of the dance floor.
放在舞池的正中间
First off, that's a terrible threat.
首先这威胁太烂了
I would love to have a statue of myself
我超乐意有一自己的塑像
in the middle of a dance club.
放在舞池正中间
Second...
其次
Do me a favor, take a look at this picture,
帮我个忙看一眼这张照片
and tell me what you see.
说说你看到了什么
You and Regis Philbin.
你和Regis Philbin
Awesome, right?
超赞对吧
Surprisingly down-to-earth guy
超实在的一个人
and definitely not the picture I meant to show you.
绝对不是我本来想给你看的照片
But take a look at this.
但看看这个
That's right, it's you and your old cell mate Marcus Cole.
你和你以前的狱友Marcus Cole
And here he is again outside the jewelry store.
还是他不过是在珠宝店外面
The two of you planned this together in prison.
你俩在监狱里计划好了
You taught him your M.O,
你教他你的作案方式
he pulled off the robbery,
他来实施抢劫
you got yourself an alibi, and you split the loot.
你去弄不在场证明然后分赃
Oh, man, I can't believe he caught us.
娘咧他居然抓到我们了
Of course he did, peralta is the best!
当然了 Peralta是最棒的
Aw, thanks, Reg. That's enough.
谢谢 Reg 够了
Yeah, I gotta work on my Regis.
我学的Regis还有待提升
Anyway, see ya in jail, Whitman.
监狱里见 Whitman
You got anything else to say?
你还有什么要说的吗
Hey, Rosa, the Flatbush Diner's pie is terrible.
Rosa 弗拉特布♥什♥餐厅的派很难吃
It's inedible.
难以下咽
Food is supposed to be edible.
食物应该是可以下咽的
So you were lying?
所以你撒谎了
What the hell, Boyle?
你什么意思 Boyle
Put it in the suck-it bucket.
吃我一记吧你
Crust isn't any better.
克拉斯特餐馆也没好到哪儿去
It's fancier, but it's all bells and whistles.
看上去高档些但都徒有其表
Desserts don't need to be clever.
甜点不需要这些花样