神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S01E02

Part 3 Oct. 1, 2020, 12:35 p.m.

I need to fill this thing out perfectly,
我得把这个报告填写完美
so my boss will get off my back.
好让我的老板放过我
Are you a minor? How old are you?
你是未成年吗你多大了
I'm 610. I'm a highlander.
我六百一十岁了我是苏格兰高地人
Okay, you know what? I'm gonna put that in there.
好你说是就是我就这么写
And then you're gonna be tried as an adult highlander.
审讯你就按照高地成人标准来办
And they're gonna cut your head off.
他们要砍头示众的
Is that what you want?
你就想这样是不是
I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
我真讨厌传达坏消息
but your psychic friend's predictions
不过你的灵媒朋友把毒品案
about the drug case were wrong,
预言错了
which means all of her predictions are wrong.
也就是说她所有的预言都是错的
No way. She's never wrong.
不可能她从不出错的
We found the cocaine behind a green hamper.
我们在绿色的衣篮后面发现了可♥卡♥因♥
Never said green or the letter "H."
她从没说过绿色或者头字是"篮"的
Mm-hmm, she said "Blue" And "Yellow," Charles.
她说了"蓝色"和"黄色" Charles
I don't know if there's any kindergarteners present,
我不知道咱这有没有幼儿园老师
but those two colors combined make green.
但是谁都知道这俩颜色混合变成绿色啊
She also mentioned the letters "L" And "B,"
她还说了"洗"和"桶"
and another name for a hamper is...
衣篮还有一个叫法是...
Lady bin?
女士桶吗
Laundry basket.
洗衣桶
Oh, little boo-boo.
傻了吧
Can you go be depressed over there?
你能去那边伤心难过不
You're bumming out my whole area.
我这一块都被你的负能量污染了
Baby, I've got some bad news.
宝贝儿我跟你说个坏消息
Someone painted a giant penis on our minivan.
有人在我们的小面包上喷了个大鸡♥巴♥
No, you cannot have an SUV now.
当然不行你现在不能买♥♥SUV
Those things roll, baby. They roll!
它还好好的呢轮子还能转呢
Hey, look at this.
快看啊
Your prints were on file.
存档里有你的指纹
Nice to meet you, Trevor Podolski.
幸会啊 Trevor Podolski
Oh, Podolski, just like deputy police commissioner Podolski.
Podolski 和警♥察♥局副局长一个姓
Your father is deputy police commissioner Podolski.
你♥爸♥是副局长Podolski
I'm not sure how things work here,
我不知道你们这怎么办事的
but does that mean that your career is in my hands?
但这是不是意味着我掌控着你的小命呢
Okay, you know what?
好告诉你
Yes.
是
20.2 kilos.
20.2千克
I feel like we could round up to 21.
我们就五入成21吧
Or we could round down to 20,
或者四舍成20
take the extra 0.2, sell it to our friends.
额外那0.2我们可以卖♥♥给朋友
I'll call the D.A. Rosa, you log this in.
我去给地监打电♥话♥ Rosa 你把这入库
Charles, maybe watch Gina.
Charles 你看着Gina
So what are you doing tonight?
你今晚有什么安排么
Nothing. What about you...
没有你呢
Are doing tonight?
有安排么
Nothing.
没有
Carlene.
Carlene
Whelp, I hope you find something to do.
小崽子希望你今晚有事可做
I'm gonna pee. That's what I'm doing tonight.
我要尿尿这就是我今晚的安排
No.
算了
Deputy commissioner's son, huh?
副局长的儿子啊
His decision to target cop cars makes a lot more sense now.
这样的话他毁坏警车就有道理了
We gotta let him walk, right?
我们得放了他对吗
He defaced nine police vehicles,
他损坏了九辆警车
and you caught him red-handed.
你还逮个正着
Why would you let him walk?
你为啥要放了他
Captain, I did all the work on this perfectly.
警监我一切都尽善尽美了
I mean, my report has over 25 pages
我一丝不苟的完成了25页
of meticulous research, diagrams, and maps.
包括研究图表和地图的报告
I even put an "About the author" Section on the back.
我还在背面加了"个人简介"
I did everything you asked me to do,
你说的我都照做了
but this is above my pay grade.
但这不是我薪水等级的事
You gotta make the call.
得你来做决定
You're the arresting officer. It's your call.
他是你逮捕的你决定
I told you to do every part of your job,
我说了你得方方面面都做好
and making this call is part of your job.
做决定也是你差事的一部分
Yeah, but you think I should process him.
是啊但你觉得我得处理他
Well, if I do, the deputy commissioner
我要是处理了那副局长
could ruin my career, and I'll end up on the streets
就会把我赶出警界那我最终就要沦落街头
selling my beautiful body for a can of beans.
以出♥卖♥♥♥我曼妙肉体为生
Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like a statue?
有没有人说过你看上去和雕像一样
Yes.
有
Man, you were totally right about the cocaine,
大神你可♥卡♥因♥那案子你都说对了
and you were also right about Rosa.
而且你也说对了Rosa的事
Who's Rosa? The woman I...
谁是Rosa 就是那个
The woman who doesn't love him back.
那个他单恋的女人
Oh. Yes, that woman.
噢对就她
You know, it can be a burden to always know
你可知道很多时候知道了未来
what's gonna happen in the future.
就成了你的负担
Don't get out of the chair.
不要起来
I just had a vision of you leaving this chair
我刚刚预测到你起身了
and getting seriously injured.
然后身负重伤
Oh, my God.
神啊
I should probably wheel you back to your desk.
我还是把你推回你座位吧
That is a great idea. Wheel you off a bridge.
好主意把你推下大桥
I'm kidding.
开玩笑
**Oh, you're alone*
*你孤身一人
**Uh-oh, you're alone for life*
*你形单影只度过一生
So here are my options.
我的选择是
One, I process Podolski's kid,
一我处理Podolski的孩子
he fires me, and I spend the rest of my career
他开除我我下半辈子都只是
as a Detective, third grade, which is literally pathetic.
最低级警探了太可悲了
No offense, Hitchcock. None taken.
无意冒犯 Hitchcock 没事
Option two, I let him walk,
二我放了他
and I spend the rest of my life with Holt
那我余生就要被
as my babysitter.
Holt管的死死的
Honestly, when I think about spending the rest of my life
说实话每当我想到要与保姆
with a babysitter,
度过余生
she's kind of a cute blonde named Erica,
得是个叫Erica的金发碧眼美女
and she always has pizza money
她总有钱买♥♥披萨
and lets me stay up as late as I want.
而且我多晚睡都没关系
How old are you in this scenario?
请问你在这剧情里的芳龄是
Anyway, the point is Holt cares more
反正重点是Holt关心的是
about whether I "Do my job right"
我是不是"工作做对了"
than whether I have a job at all.
而不是我有没有工作
So I'm taking suggestions.
希望大家给点建议
I say piss off Holt,
我建议放了Holt
so we get to watch your career end right in front of us.
那你职业的尽头就呈现在我们面前了
Okay, thank you for that, Santiago.
好的万分感谢 Santiago
I'm gonna put you down for "Don't arrest,"
"不要逮捕"一票
and I'm also going to put your phone number
我还要把你的电♥话♥写在
on every urinal in Rikers.
雷克斯的每个便池上
Don't arrest him. Just smack him. Hard.
不要逮捕他捶他死命锤
With a phone book on a body part
想捶哪就垫上本电♥话♥簿
no one can see, you know what I'm saying?
谁也不会发现你懂的
So you're suggesting police brutality?
你是建议警♥察♥暴♥力♥
Ha, ha, I guess so, yeah. Why?
呵呵我觉得是咋了
Hey, Scully. Yeah?
你好 Scullu 怎么了
You want this collar? Paperwork's all done,
你想接手不文书工作都做完了
and it's perfect. The Podolski kid?
做的可好了 Podolski的孩子吗
Are you kidding? I just gave him my lunch.
开玩笑吧我刚把我午餐都给他了
Okay. Boyle, what do you think?
好吧 Boyle 你怎么看
I don't know, man. I'm lost.
我不知道我迷失了
The universe is a cruel and vexing puzzle.
整个宇宙都是残酷的恼人的难题
I-I'm at the whim of the cosmos.
我在宇宙的幻想中
All right, I'm gonna put you down for "Bummer,"
好吧 "说跟没说一样"一票
and you can hang out in that category all by yourself.
你就在这一栏里自己傻乐呵吧
Hey, everyone.
大家好啊