好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E24
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:13 a.m.
And how are you?
你现在怎么样?
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
噢 我也替你难过
Well, there's plenty more fish in the s.
天涯何处无芳草嘛
And I'm sure you'll get out there in that old dating pond and catch something.
好马也会吃回头草
You know, a-a-a fish, not a disease.
吃"草"就行了 别吃出病来
Anyway, thanks for the good wishes. Bye-bye.
谢谢你的祝福 再见
Okay, well, good night.
好了 晚安
Old friend, huh? Yeah.
老朋友啊? 对
She heard I was engaged and wanted to congratulate me.
她听说我订婚了 就想祝贺我一下
Sweet kid.
挺懂事的小姑娘
Is this the woman you almost married
这个女的是不是就是几年前
in Vegas a few years ago?
你在拉斯维加斯差点娶的那个?
Charlie? I'm thinking.
查理? 我在想呢
Charlie.
查理
Who told you about that? Your brother.
谁告诉你的? 你弟弟
Oh, really?
真的?
Did he tell you his last girlfriend
他告诉过你 他上个女朋友
caught him in bed with her mother?
把他和她老娘捉奸在床的事没有?
Yes, he did.
嗯 说了
What a dirtbag, huh?
还真是个大嘴巴
So, were you ever going to tell me about Mia?
你就没打算告诉我米娅的事?
What's the point?
有什么问题吗?
Have you told me about every guy you've ever been with?
你把你每个男朋友都跟我讲过吗?
Actually, I have.
事实上 我的确都告诉你了
My boyfriend in high school, two guys in college and the man I married.
一个高中男友 两个大学男友 还有个前夫
That's it--four?
就四个?
Back in your day,
如果回到以前
that was a slow weekend, right?
对你来说 这样的周末节奏也太慢了是吧?
It's not a competition, Chels.
这不是比赛 切尔西
So, why do you think this Mia is calling you in the middle of the night?
那你对米娅半夜给你打电♥话♥有什么想法?
Honey, it was perfectly innocent.
宝贝 再单纯不过了
She just called to congratulate me on our engagement.
她只是祝贺我订婚了
No, she didn't. She called to see if you're happy.
不 她才不是 她是看看你是否开心
She wants to know if you're still available.
想知道你是否还有闲心
Really, you think so?
真的 你是这么想的?
I mean... Really, you think so?
我是说...真的 你是这么想的?
Yes, I think so.
是的
The question is:are you happy? Are you available?
问题是: 你开心么? 你还有闲心么?
Oh, come on, Chels. What kind of question is that?
拜托 切尔西 你这是哪门子问题?
No, I'm not available, and I'm certainly not happy.
我当然没有闲心了 而且我绝对不开心
You know what I mean. I hope so.
你明白我的意思 但愿如此
Yep. I'm a happy and lucky man.
嗯 我是个快乐又走运的家伙
Happy, happy, happy.
开心 开心 开心
Lucky, lucky, lucky.
走运 走运 走运
And wet.
湿了
I'm kind of wet.
有点湿
What you writing?
你在写啥?
A screenplay. Cool.
一个剧本 帅啊
Hey, I got a great idea for a movie if you want it.
如果你想要听的话 我对电影还是有点高见的
Thanks--I'm okay.
多谢 我应付得来
What is it?
什么高见?
Okay. So there's this guy wh on the highway, where he hits like a moose or something.
嗯 有个人在高速上行驶 撞上了一头驼鹿或者别的什么
And he loses control of his car and crashes into a truck full of toxic waste.
他的车失控了 撞上了满载有毒废物的卡车
And wh he kes up in the hospital, he's part car anpart animal.
在他开往医院的途中 他半车半兽
Car-nimal.
车兽
thanks, but think I'll stick with my idea.
谢谢 我想我还是自己创作吧
Finewhat's your idea? You really interested?
好 你怎么想的? 你真的感兴趣?
Sure.
是的
Well, it's, uh... it's about a man, uh, who's at a crossroads in his life, uh,
呃... 一个男人 站在人生的十字路口
coming to terms with, uh, loss and... and mortality.
面临遗失与死亡的抉择
You know what you could call it? What?
你知道这叫什么吗? 什么?
Boring.
无聊
Thank you.
谢谢
Rated G... A-Y.
级别是G...A-Y
Hey, Charlie. Hey, Herb.
嘿 查理 嘿 哈珀
I'm here to pick up Jake.
我来接杰克
Oh, come on in.
请进
Jake, time to get the hell out of my house!
杰克 该滚蛋了!
So, how's it going?
怎么样?
Oh, pretty good. Baby's coming any day now.
很好 宝宝快出生了
Judith's got that glow of motherhood.
朱迪丝处处散发着母性的光辉
Gangway, I gotta freakin' pee again.
让道 我又得嘘嘘了
Yeah, she's radiant.
对 她真是光芒四射
Hey, Herb. Jake's just finishing breakfast.
嘿 哈珀 杰克刚吃过早饭
Or he could be starting lunch. It's a fine line.
他也可以开午饭了 间隔很短的
Well, he is a growing boy.
嗯 他在长身体
He's a growing pain in my ass.
他就是我屁♥股♥上不断长大的痔疮
He says that with love.
他就是这么夸人的
No, I say it with a dull, throbbing pain in my ass.
不 我是说那是个反应迟钝 让人隐隐作痛的痔疮
My water just broke.
我的羊水破了
Are you sure?
你确定?
Yes, I'm sure.
对 我确定
I ain't cleaning that up.
我不会打扫那里的
Boy, this brings back memories, huh?
好像回到了从前 哈?
Shut up.
闭嘴
Slipping in Judith's amniotic fluid.
跌倒在朱迪丝的羊水里
Guess this'll be pretty funny someday.
总有一天 我们会发现这事很有意思
It's pretty funny right now, Herb.
现在已经很有趣了 哈珀
Hello? A little help here!
有人么? 帮帮忙
Ding! Ding! Ding!
叮! 叮! 叮!
Hold your horses, I'm...
别急 我...
Dr. Harper? Melissa, what are you doing here?
哈珀医生? 梅丽莎 你在这里做什么?
I work here.
我在这里工作
I had to find another job after... You know.
在那之后我不得不重新找工作... 你知道的
For the last time, I did not have sex with your mother!
上次我跟你妈真的没发♥生♥关♥系♥!
Excuse me, I'm having a baby here!
抱歉 我要生了!
Yeah, and I think I broke my ankle.
对 我觉着我的脚崴了
Quit whining, Herb! Her doctor's on his way.
别抱怨了 哈珀! 她的医生马上就到了
The contractions are about eight minutes apart.
宫缩差不多八分钟一次
Oh, well, let's get you to prenatal.
那我带你到待产室
I'll sign you in and have an orderly take you upstairs.
我给你们登下记 然后带你们上楼
No. No, No, no. I'm the father. I'll do it.
不不不不 我是父亲 我来做
Bad idea, Herb.
这可不是好主意 哈珀
I'm here, Judith. Everything's okay.
我来了 朱迪丝 一切顺利
God.
天啊
My arm!
我的胳膊!
I'm coming, Judith!
我来了 朱迪丝!
Stay down, champ. It's not your night.
还是趴着吧 今晚你的确不走运
Oh, my freaking God!
我的天!
Now, you're not breathing. You got to remember to breathe.
现在 你没在呼吸 记着要呼吸
Good, good, good. Okay.
很好 很好 很好
Now, you're only two minutes apart. So we're in the homestretch here.
宫缩两分钟一次了 最后冲刺阶段了
Great.
太好了
Boy...
伙计...
It seems like just yesterday
事情就好像是发生在昨天
we were at this same hospital waiting for little Jake to arrive.
我们还是在这所医院 等待杰克降生
I guess after pushing out his enormous head, this one will feel like spitting a watermelon seed.
我想你都能把他那大脑袋挤出来 这次应该就是小菜一碟
So anyway, I really love my fiance,
不管怎么样 我确实爱我的未婚妻
but I can't get this other girl out of my mind.
但我就是做不到把另一个女孩抛之脑后
I mean, she told my brother to give me her best.
我意思是 她托我弟弟送上她的祝福
And let me tell ya, her best could curl your hair
这么说吧 她好到能让你的汗毛倒立
and make your ass whistle.
并让你的屁♥股♥吹口哨
Is that what you're here for? A whistling ass?
你是因为这个到这儿的? 一个会吹口哨的屁♥股♥?
No-no, no. There's a baby and some
不-不 不 为了一个婴儿还有几块
broken bones. Not important.
断掉的骨头 都无关紧要
The thing is, I know you can't expect to keep the passion of a new relationship going forever,
问题是 我觉得你不能指望感情永远保鲜
but I kind of miss it.
我就是有点怀念
Maybe it's just that the grass always looks greener, you know?
或许就是这山望着那山高的道理 明白吗?
You see this cooler? Yeah.
你看见这个冷冻箱了? 是的
It's carrying two light beers, a half a ham sandwich and my thumb.
里面装着两罐清啤 半块火腿三明治 还有我的拇指
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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