好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E08
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:10 a.m.
Hang on!
等等!
Where you going?
你要去哪儿?
I talked Chelsea into giving me another chance to spend the night at her place.
我跟切尔西说 再给我次机会 我去她家过夜
Here's your overnight bag.
这就是你去过夜的便携包
Thank you.
谢谢
All that's for one night?
带这么多就过一晚上?
One night and one morning business meeting with Pinocchio.
一个晚上外加早晨 要跟皮诺曹亲密接触
I got your flip-flops for the shower,
我给你准备了洗澡用的拖鞋
your personal bath towel, hand towel and washcloth,
你自己的浴巾 毛巾 浴袍
your hand soap,face soap and shampoo.
洗手皂 洁面皂 洗发水
Great.
很好
One handheld TV, your goose-down pillow,
一个便携小电视 鹅绒枕头
Egyptian cotton pillowcase and sheets
埃及棉枕头套和床单
and a ziplock baggie of your special blend French roast coffee.
还有一个便携密封袋装着你的 特制法式烘焙咖啡
Terrific.
很好很强大
One jar of seedless raspberry jam,a mild laxative
一罐无籽覆盆子果酱 一瓶通便剂
and one roll of quilted toilet paper with lanolin.
一卷衬里的羊毛脂厕纸
Okay.
搞定了
Culver City,here I come.
卡尔弗市 我来了
He ain't gonna make it. Not a chance.
他肯定不行的 完全没机会
You know,I have never once seen him eat seedless raspberry jam.
我从来没见过他吃无籽覆盆子果酱
That's because you've never applied a thin layer to your hindquarters.
那是因为你从来不把果酱涂在 两腿之间
I'm so glad you decided this was important to you,Charlie.
我真高兴你把这事看得很重要 查理
Well,you'reimportant to me.
你对我来说的确很重要
What are you doing?
你在干嘛?
I brought my sheets.
我把我床单带来了
You wanna grab the other side?
你帮我扯一扯那边呗?
What's wrong with my sheets?
我的床单不好吗?
Nothing,nothing. But mine are better.
没有 没有 只是我的更好而已
Egyptian cotton. Like,eight-million thread count.
埃及棉 差不多是八百万支的
And good news.
好消息
I solved the wrong-side-of-the-bed situation.
我把那个半边床的问题解决了
Okay...
很好...
I'll just sleep with my head down there.
我就倒着睡
That way,I'm facing the right way.
这样 我的脸就能朝着门了
But then your feet will be in my face.
但是你的脚就在我脸上了
Way ahead of you.
早就想到了
Peppermint foot lotion.
椒叶薄荷护足霜
You'll think you're sleepin' in Candyland.
你会觉得你睡在糖果乐园的
Oh,before I forget.
哦 担心我忘记了
Toilet paper?
厕纸?
Don't get your hopes up, but I'm gonna make the effort.
别抱太大希望 但是我会努力的
Hey,Jake?
嘿 杰克?
You out here?
你在外面不?
Seen my kid?
看见我儿子没?
What the hell?
我靠?
Can I have some privacy,please?
人家洗澡你就这么闯进来?
Get out of the tub. Out of the tub.
赶紧从浴缸里出来 快出来
Fine.
好吧
You're unbelievable. Is TV that important to you?
我就不明白了 电视对你来说就这么重要?
Do you really have to ask?
你非得问才能明白?
Go to your room.
回你自己房♥间去
Fine,but check out Uncle Charlie's toilet seat. It heats up.
好吧 但你看下查理伯伯的座便器 好像是会散热的
Just go!
快走!
Can I have this raspberry jam?
我能把这罐覆盆子果酱带走不?
Don't touch the jam!
别碰那果酱!
Toasty.
暖洋洋啊
If only I could poop at night.
如果我晚上能拉出来就好了
Maybe I'll just pee girly style.
或许我可以试下像女生那样嘘嘘
Charlie...
查理...
What?
干嘛?
This isn't working for me.
我受不了了
My feet too minty?
我的脚薄荷味太重了?
It's not your feet.
不是你脚的问题
Well,itisyour feet, but it's also the sheets,
其实你的脚也有关系 但主要还是这床单
the pillows,the towels,the TV, the electric toothbrush.
这枕头 这毛巾 这电视 还有那个电动牙刷
It's not a toothbrush.
那个不是电动牙刷
It's an ultrasonic dental appliance.
那个是超声波洁牙用品
It's probably got more vibrations per minute
它每分钟震动的次数
than that plastic egg you keep in your nightstand.
比你床头柜的塑料蛋蛋都要多
That's right.
说得对
I do have one of those.
我的确有来着
Go home.
回家去吧
But I want to spend the night here.
但我想在这里过夜
No,no,I made a mistake.
不 不 算我错了
From now on, we'll stay at your place.
从现在起 我们都在你家过夜
Oh,okay. Your call.
好吧 你说了算
I'm nothing if not flexible.
就算一直住我家 我也不介意哈
You really should put a bell on that thing.
你真应该给你家小猫安个铃铛
Hello,Mr. Bed.
你好 我亲爱的床
I'll be with you in a minute
我过一下就来陪你
after I pay my respects to Professor Toilet.
等我给马桶教授致意一下先
Hello.
你好
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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