好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E10
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:11 a.m.
No, no, I'm just,
没 没 我只是
I'm just trying to figure out
只是想弄明白
why I need to go to work today.
今天干嘛要去上班
I mean,
我的意思是
Mom's taking care of Jake's education,
有老妈负责杰克的学费
buying him a car.
帮他买♥♥车
Why should I bust my hump?
我♥干♥嘛还那么拼命呢
For your self-respect?
为了你的自尊?
Nah, Judith got that in the divorce.
不 离婚的时候被朱蒂丝拿走了
'Cause you like to heal people's back pain
因为你喜欢用你的按♥摩♥大♥法♥
with your chiropractic magic?
治愈别人的背部?
Okay, well, you've got to go somewhere.
你总得有地方去啊
Why?
为什么
'Cause you're creeping me out.
因为你把我吓坏了
I should take up motivational speaking.
我应该给别人作鼓励演说去
Morning.
早上好
Something's wrong with your brother.
你弟弟有点问题啊
We don't say the word "wrong."
我们不该说"有问题"
We say "special."
而应该说"特殊"
No, it's true. My friends don't think you're my grandma.
不 是真的 我的朋友们都说你不像我的奶奶
They think you're my young aunt.
他们说你像我的阿姨
If he gets his nose any further up her keister,
如果他继续拍马屁的话
we're gonna have to tie a rope to his feet.
我们就得把他的脚用绳子绑上
Hey, I was thinking.
我在想
You know what would be a nice, safe vehicle for me?
你知道我想要一辆什么样子的漂亮并且安全的车吗
A used police car.
一辆二手的警车
I don't know. I guess from the police?
不知道 我想该是从警♥察♥那吧
She's buying Lunkhead a car?
她要给小呆子买♥♥一辆车
And a college education. Ha.
和供他上大学
Well, I guess that makes sense
如果那是个小丑大学并且
if it's a clown college and the car seats 20.
那辆车可以坐下20个人的话就没问题
All right, then'll see you in an hour.
好吧 一小时后见
Hold on.
等下
Nah, I don't need one.
恩 不需要一个小时
Okay, okay, bye.
好 好 再见
I'm gonna spend the afternoon with Grandma.
我打算下午去见奶奶
If she asks, I took a shower.
她来电♥话♥的话 说我去洗澡了
Figured out her angle yet?
清楚她的意图了吗
No. And that's what scares me.
没有 这才是我害怕的
Seemed appropriate
好像很合适
All right, Mr. Sharipa.
好的 夏巴先生
How's it feel right here?
这里感觉怎么样
A little tender.
有点紧
Yeah, yeah, you've got a spasm right here.
是的 你这里有点肌肉痉挛
It's my own fault.
完全是我的错
I was trying to do it in the shower
我昨晚想跟我老婆
with Mrs. Sharipa last night.
一起洗个鸳鸯浴
The woman is no ballerina.
她不是芭蕾舞演员
Well, sex in the showe is really a young man's game.
恩 洗澡的时候做♥爱♥的确是年轻人的游戏
Or a middle-aged man with a skinny wife.
或者是中年男人和他骨瘦如柴的老婆
Sure.
当然
What can I say?
我能说什么呢
I like a little junk in the trunk.
我就像垃圾箱里的垃圾
I, I think that says it.
我 我认为是那么回事
Slap her on the ass at Christmas,
圣诞的时候拍了下她的屁♥股♥
it doesn't stop shaking till New Year's Eve.
除夕夜的时候还会在抖
Just between you and me,
我只告诉你
she enjoys a little spanking from Santa.
她喜欢被圣诞老人打屁♥股♥
Who doesn't?
谁不喜欢呢
I check the list twice:
我核实了两遍清单
always naughty.
总是很有意思
Uh-huh. Could you, uh,
恩 你可以
turn on your right, Mr. Sharipa.
靠右转一下吗 夏巴先生
I'll, uh, try to relieve
我要 恩 试着放松
the pressure on your sciatic nerve.
你坐骨神经的压力
Would you cross your arms, please?
能把你的胳膊抱起来吗
Uh-huh. Thank you.
谢谢
Okay.
好的
Excuse me.
对不起
Oh, no, that, uh, that happens.
噢 没关系 这很正常
It's, uh, it's perfectly natural...
是人体的自然现象
Oh, dear Lord.
哦 我的上帝啊
Yeah, that's the garlic clams I had folunch.
恩 那是我吃的大蒜蛤
I like them. They don't like me.
我喜欢它们 它们不喜欢我
Um, if you'll just excuse me for a moment.
嗯 请允许我离开一下
Hey, you know, I feel better.
嘿 你要知道 我好多了
Maybe that's where the pressure came from.
可能压力就是从那里来的吧
Where are you gog, Dr. Harper?
你去哪 哈勃医生
Home.
回家
Will you be coming back?
你还回来吗
Dr. Harper?
哈勃医生
Oh, my God.
哦 上帝
Let's spend a little time
让我们来聊聊
talking about our college plans.
我们的大学计划
"Our plans"?
"我们的计划"?
Are you going, too? 'Cause that changes everything.
你也要去吗 那可就大不一样啦
I've already been to college, darling.
我已经上过大学了 亲爱的
And they were some of the happiest years of my life.
那时候是我生命中最开心的日子
Really? Mm-hmm.
真的吗
What kind of car did you have?
你有什么样的车
Look, Jake, I understand that you're excited
听着 杰克我明白你很激动
about getting a car, but keep in mind
要得到一辆车 但是记住
the car is predicated on you getting into college.
得到车的前提是你进入大学
Right.
好吧
What's "predicated" mean?
"前提"是什么意思
No college, no car.
不进大学 就得不到车
Oh.
哦
What if I flunk out?
如果我退学的话怎么办
Do I have to give the car back?
我需要把车还给你吗
Oh, sweetheart,
哦 亲爱的
what makes you think you'd flunk out?
你怎么会觉得会退学呢
Well, history.
嗯 历史教训
Right now there's a 60/60 chance
现在有六十分之六十的可能性
I'm gonna have to repeat eighth grade.
我将要重读八年级
60/60, huh?
六十分之六十
At least.
至少吧
It could be 70/40.
也可能是四十分之七十
Well, we can rule out the Ivy League.
恩 我们可以把常春藤联校排除在外
Is that good?
那样好吗
For the Ivy League.
当然 对常春藤联校来说
You know, dear,
亲爱的
maybe we're going about this the wrong way.
可能我们方式错了
College should be about pursuing the things you love.
上大学是为了去追逐自己想要的东西
What do you love?
你喜欢什么
Um, TV, video games, sleeping.
恩 看电视 打游戏 睡大觉
I love sleeping so much
我非常喜欢睡觉
sometimes I actually dream about it.
有时候我做梦都梦到睡觉了
Okay, maybe I wasn't clear enough.
好吧 可能我没有说清楚
Oh, you know what I really love?
哦 你知道我最喜欢的是什么吗
Twice-dipped French toast
两层的法国面包
with a sprinkling of orange zest.
中间涂满橘子果酱
Orange zest?
橘子味道的
Yeah, you scrape it from an orange peel.
是的 你可以从橘子上剥下来
It's what really makes my recipe work.
这实际上是我的食谱
You have a recipe?
你还有食谱
Yep.
是的
It kinda happened by accident.
它像个意外
I was making once-dipped opped it.
我第一次做单层面包的时候
but i drop it
但我没成功
A lot of great discoveries are accidents
很多的发明都是意外
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表