好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E05
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:10 a.m.
Well,you've given me back something I lost a long time ago.
你还给了我丢失已久的东西
I gave it back? How did I give it back?
我还给你了? 我怎么还给你了?
My self-respect.
我的自尊
Oh,sure,that youcanget back.
对 你可以找回来的
And you haven't even tried to hit on me.
你都没试着跟我调情
No. And I don't intend to.
对 我没这个打算
I just want to see you get your life together again.
我只是想看到你重新振作起来
Boy,I've hated you for so many years.
我恨了你那么多年
I'm starting to think maybe I was wrong.
我开始觉得自己可能错了
No,no,no,you're were right--this is new for me.
不 不 不 你是对的... 现在的是全新的我
Well,I like this Charlie.
我喜欢现在的查理
He's got a big heart.
他有一颗善良的心
Thank you.
谢谢
Desiree,wait.
德西蕾 等一下
Instead of going back to that motel, why don't you stay here?
别回汽车旅馆了 你干嘛不住这里?
No strings--just until you can get a real apartment.
没附加条件的... 直到你能租间像样的公♥寓♥
Where would I sleep?
那我睡哪儿?
You can have the guest room.
你可以住客房♥
Well,where would Alan sleep?
那艾伦睡哪儿?
If there was any justice, at the bottom of a ravine.
要是有天理的话 他该住山沟底下
I can't believe you gave her my room.
真不敢相信你把我的房♥间给她了
I can't believe you're still calling ityourroom.
真不敢相信你还管那叫"你的房♥间"
How long is this gonna last?
这得持续多久?
Just until she gets back on her feet.
直到她找到住的地方
Oh,please, that's a load of crap.
拜托 那都是废话
That's what I said to you six years ago.
我六年前就是这么跟你说的
You've been heresixyears?
你都在这儿住了六年了?
I'll just go make up the couch.
我去收拾一下沙发
Story of my life.
这就是我的生活
No boner goes unpunished.
有错必罚
Charlie.
查理
I was lying in bed alone, and I had an epiphany.
我一个人躺在床上 上帝显灵了
Okay.
好啊
It suddenly became clear to me why you came back into my life.
我忽然一下就明白了 你为什么回到了我的生活中
Why?
为什么?
The Lord sent you.
上帝派你来的
TheLord?
那个 上帝?
Yes. He sent you to save me from my sinful ways.
对 他派你把我从罪孽中解救出来
He did? Yes.
真的? 是的
I really don't think he'd sendme.
我觉得不是他派我来的
I'm more of a recruiter for the other side.
我更像是另一方的招募员
It's not for us to question his will.
我们不能质疑他的意愿
Come,come,let's pray together.
来 来 我们来一起祈祷
Now? Yes,now,while the spirit is with us.
现在? 对 圣灵正与我们同在
Can I pee first?
能先嘘嘘下吗?
There'll be plenty of time to pee in Heaven.
天堂里有的是时间嘘嘘
There's peeing in Heaven?
天堂里还需要嘘嘘?
Weird,us both being on our knees at the same time,huh?
真奇怪 我们同时都跪着呢
I'm just saying.
就随便说说
Morning. Morning.
早上好 早上好
Morning. Morning.
早上好 早上好
How'd everybody sleep? Fine.
大家睡得怎么样? 还好
Fine. Lousy.
还好 糟透了
So,listen...
听着...
we might have a little problem with Miss Pasternak.
我们可能跟帕斯捷尔纳克小姐有点儿麻烦
Oh,Charlie,you didn't.
查理 你不是吧
No,I didn't.
不 我才没有
Why do you always believe the worst of me?
你干嘛总把我往最坏处想?
Because you're a horrible, evil person.
因为你是个糟糕又邪恶的人
I thought we established that.
我以为我们已经达成共识了
I'll tell you what happened.
告诉你怎么回事吧
Last night,I was upstairs, sleeping alone, minding my own business...
昨晚 我在楼上一个人睡觉 想着自己的事...
Good morning,sinners.
早上好 罪人们
Oh,what a glorious day to bask in the forgiveness of our Lord.
多美好的一天啊 沐浴在上帝的宽恕之中
Jake,I have wonderful news.
杰克 我有好消息
From now on, as part of each lesson,
从现在起 作为每节课的一部分
we're gonna spend time casting demons out of you.
我们要点花时间为你驱魔
It's the Devil that's making him stupid.
是魔鬼让他变得愚蠢
I told you it wasn't my fault.
跟你说了不是我的错
Uh,uh,Miss Pasternak, while I'm thrilled that you're helping Jake with his schoolwork,
帕斯捷尔纳克小姐 你为杰克 辅♥导♥功课 我非常感动
I'm not sure an exorcism is really called for.
我不确定是不是真该提倡驱魔
Do you want your son to go to hell,Alan?
你想让你儿子下地狱吗 艾伦?
Depends.
看情况了
Do they have a college prep program?
他们有大学预科课程吗?
Eternal damnation is no laughing matter.
永世受罚可不是笑料
I know--I've been married twice.
我知道... 我结过两次婚
You think you have to wear a jockstrap in hell?
地狱里还要穿运动短裤吗?
Yes,but not your own.
对 但不是穿你自己的
Anyway, I just came down to tell you all it's time to get dressed for church.
总之 我是来告诉你们 是打扮下去教堂的时候了
Uh,uh,gee, uh,thanks for the invite, but,uh,Sunday is kind of our "me" day.
哎呀 多谢邀请 但周日是我们的"个人"时间
Sunday's not a "me" day, it's a "he" day.
周日不是"个人"时间 是"上帝"时间
And he will strike down the blasphemers and the disbelievers
他会暴怒不已 血债血偿
with fury and blood-soaked vengeance!
打倒一切亵渎者和非信徒!
So,chop-chop,washy-washy.
快点快点 准备出发
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Boy,can I pick 'em.
我以前说过 再说一遍 我有什么办法
** Bringing in the sheaves *
* 收禾捆回家
** Bringing in the sheaves *
* 收禾捆回家
** We shall come rejoicing Bringing in the sheaves *
* 我们喜乐满怀 禾捆带回来
** Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in...*
* 收禾捆回家, 收...
Dad? What?
老爸? 怎么了?
I promise I'll work really hard in school if you can just get rid of her.
你要是能摆脱她 我发誓到学校一定好好学习
A little religion isn't gonna kill you.
一点儿宗教信仰害不了你
Oh,really? What's your definition of "blood-soaked vengeance"?
是吗? 你怎么理解"血债血偿"的?
** Bringing in the sheaves *
* 收禾捆回家
** Bringing in the sheaves *
* 收禾捆回家
** bringing in the sheaves *
* 收禾捆回家
** We shall come rejoicing *
* 我们喜乐满怀
Why you looking at me like that?
干嘛那么看着我?
I just don't want to miss it when you burst into flames.
我可不想错过你手足无措的样子
** Bringing in the sheaves *
* 收禾捆回家
** We shall come rejoicing...*
* 我们喜乐满怀...
Isn't this a beautiful little church,Charlie?
多可爱的小教堂啊 查理?
Oh,yeah,it's great.
对 棒极了
Listen,I thought maybe after the service,
我想弥撒之后
you and I could drive around and look for a nice apartment for you.
我们可以去转转 给你找个像样的公♥寓♥
Oh,God doesn't want us to separate,Charlie.
上帝不想让我们分开 查理
He brought you back into my life so that we could be together for all eternity.
他把你重新带回到我的生活 所以我们要生生世世在一起
Um,are those his words or yours?
这是上帝说的 还是你说的?
He speaks through me.
他借我之口说的
Oh,okay. Um,to whom am I talking now?
好吧 那我现在是跟谁说话呢?
It's time for the special blessing. Come on,everyone, let's go.
到特别祈福的时间了 大家来吧 我们走
Right behind you.
你先请
Come on,come on,come on. Blessing time, blessing time. Come on.
来吧 来吧 祝福时间到 来吧
Is this the kind of church where they hand out those little crackers?
这是那种会分发小饼干的教堂吗?
I'm hungry.
我饿了
Relax. It's just us.
别紧张 就我俩
Why is your hair all wet?
你怎么头发都湿了?
They tried to drown me.
他们想淹死我
No,they didn't.
没 他们才没有
He managed to get himself baptized.
他让自己受洗了
How'd that happen?
怎么回事?
People were lining up. I thought there was food.
人们排起了队 我以为在发吃的
Even after they took your clothes and gave you a white robe?
他们脱了你的衣服 给了你白色的长袍 你还这么想?
I figured maybe we were getting ribs.
我以为大概是要吃排骨吧
So where's Berta?
贝塔呢?
She took a shine to the organ player and stayed for the senior potluck brunch.
她看上了拉风琴的 留下来参加高级便餐会了
So there was food.
真有吃的呢
I knew I wasn't crazy.
我就知道不是我傻
Aren't you at all concerned about what happened to Miss Pasternak?
你就不关心帕斯捷尔纳克小姐怎么样了?
Of course I'm concerned.
我当然关心了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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