好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E11
Part 1
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:11 a.m.
Check it out. They got cars that run on vegetable oil now.
瞧这个 现在都有用植物油的车了
How about that.
那怎么样?
You know what would be cool? A Hummer that runs on French fry grease.
知道什么更酷吗? 用炸薯条的油驱动的悍马
We could be energy independent and still smash through crap.
我们就可以能源自给了 而且还是横冲直撞
Sounds great.
听着不错
Plus, the new car smell is French fries.
而且 新车闻起来都是薯条味的
Okay, I'm only gonna say this one more time.
好吧 我只再说一遍
You don't get your license for two more years and you're not getting a Hummer.
你还有两年才能拿驾照 而且你没的悍马开
You know, you say you want me to open up to you, but what's the point?
是你说想让我跟你无话不谈的 到底什么意思啊?
Yeah, I always loved Paris in the springtime.
我爱死春天的巴黎了
Oh, you're lucky.
你真走运
I only got to do her once, on Halloween.
我只在万圣节的时候干过她一次 (巴黎跟帕丽斯 希尔顿同音)
Oh, hey, Alan.
嗨 艾伦
Andy, this is my brother Alan. Alan, Andy.
安迪 这是我弟弟艾伦 艾伦 这是安迪
Hello. Hey, Andy.
你好 嗨 安迪
Pull up a chair. We're just telling war stories.
拿把椅子过来坐吧 我们正在聊战争故事
Oh, great.
太好了
The sponge? Yeah.
吃闲饭的? 对
So, uh, how do you guys know each other?
你们俩是怎么认识的?
Well, Andy and ICan I have a cigar?
安迪和我... 我能来根雪茄吗?
Sure, help yourself. Thank you.
当然 自己拿吧 谢谢
Anyway, Andy and I have known each other--
总之 安迪和我认识...
Maybe I'll take one for now and one for later.
我想拿根现在抽 再拿根一会儿抽
Anyway, before he moved to New York, Andy and I were partners in crime.
总之 他搬去纽约之前 安迪和我是"犯罪搭档"
There weren't that many actual crimes.
其实也没真犯什么罪
Unless you count the ones against nature.
除非你算上违反自然规律的那些个事
Alan, this is a great man.
艾伦 他是个了不起的人
No, no, Albert Einstein was a great man.
不 不 爱因斯坦才是了不起的人
I just drink, gamble and hump.
我只是吃喝嫖赌
But I'm great at it.
但我很在行
Andy once managed to hitchhike from Vegas to L.A., wearing no pants.
安迪曾成功从维加斯搭便车到洛杉矶 是没穿裤子的哦
Hey, anybody can use their thumb.
谁都能伸出大拇指拦车
This right here, this is the brother I never had.
他就在眼前 他就是我一直想要的兄弟
Oh, well, how nice for you.
那恭喜你啊
I don't mean it that way.
我不是那个意思
You're my brother. Well, thank you.
你是我兄弟 谢谢
I just like him better.
我只是更喜欢他
Got it.
明白了
Andy is the one guy in the world that can match me drink for drink and broad for broad.
安迪是世界上唯一能拼酒打炮 跟我不分上下的人
In fact, the one time I thought I drank him under the table,
实际上 有一次我以为把他灌得 醉到桌子底下去了
it turned out he had a broad under there.
结果他是在下面搞小妞呢
Right, Andy?
是吧 安迪?
Andy?
安迪?
Don't screw with me, dude.
别闹了 伙计
Who's your favorite brother now?
现在谁是你最喜欢的兄弟?
Two and a Half Men Season06 Episode11 The Devil's Lube
好汉两个半:第6季第11集
So, he died right out there in the chair, huh?
他就死在外面的椅子上了哈?
Yep.
对
Remind me to flip that cushion.
提醒我抖一下那个垫子
You should've seen it, Berta.
你真该看看的 贝塔
The paramedics zipped him up in a big plastic bag.
医务人员把他装进一个大塑料袋里 拉上了拉链
Is that so?
是吗?
It looked like one of those things the delivery guys use to keep pizza hot.
就像送外卖♥♥的用来给披萨保温的东西
I wonder if they got him to the morgue in 30 minutes or less.
我想他们是不是在半小时时限内 把他送到太平间了
Not funny, Jake.
一点儿都不好笑 杰克
Maybe it is funny and you just didn't get it.
其实挺好笑的 只是你没明白
Eat.
吃你的
So, uh, did you know him?
你认识他吗?
Andy? Sure.
安迪? 当然认识
Before he moved to New York, he and Charlie were just like brothers.
他搬去纽约之前 他和查理就像兄弟一样
Yeah, I heard that part.
这我听说了
How's Charlie taking it?
查理怎么样了?
He's pretty shook up.
他挺受打击的
Well, you can understand why.
可以理解
Somebody your age, living the same dumbass lifestyle you live keels over and dies.
跟你同龄 同样混乱生活方式的人 忽然倒下死了
It's gotta give you pause.
会给你敲个警钟的
You're right about that.
你说得对
Actually, I'm surprised that Charlie didn't go first.
实际上 我很惊讶查理没先死
Excuse me.
打扰了
I'm standing right here.
我就站在这儿呢
But for how long?
但还能站多久?
Did you get that one?
那笑话你听懂没?
I'll see you later.
一会儿见
Where you going?
你去哪儿?
Where do you think? My best friend just died.
你觉得呢? 我的挚友刚死了
I got a lot of things to take care of.
我有一大堆事情处理
You're handling the funeral?
你要筹办葬礼?
I'm sure Andy would like that.
我想安迪肯定会很高兴的
The hell with Andy.
去他的安迪
I'm going to the hospital to get every damn medical test known to man.
我要去医院 把所有的医学检查都做个遍
Good one.
这个不错
You're not getting any of these, are you?
这些俏皮话你一点儿都不明白 是吧?
Hey, how'd the tests go?
检查结果怎么样?
I won't know for a couple of days.
几天后才能知道
All right, I'm outta here.
好了 我要滚蛋了
How about you, Charlie?
你呢 查理?
Wait, I got something for you.
等等 我有样东西给你
It's a gift certificate for a week at a spa in Palm Springs.
这是到棕榈泉温泉疗养一周的礼券
Well, I'll be. Thank you, Charlie.
我会去的 谢谢 查理
I just wand you to know that I love you and appreciate that you've always been there for me.
我只想让你知道我爱你 感谢你一直照顾我
Great, see you in a week.
好极了 一周后见
Look at you.
看看你
The minute you start thinking about your mortality,
你一开始考虑生死亡率
you realize how much you care about the people around you.
就意识到了你是多么关心身边的人
Yeah, and I need to start showing it.
对 我得表示一下我的关心
Well, little gifts are always a nice way to express your feelings.
小礼物一直都是传情的好方法
I know.
我知道
Could be as simple as a cashmere robe or as extravagant as a new car.
可以是一件简单的开司米睡衣 也可以是一辆奢华的新车
Yeah, I suppose it could.
我想是的
Excuse me, I got something really cool for Jake.
抱歉 我有样很酷的东西给杰克
Doesn't even have to be new!
并不一定非是新的!
Certified pre-owned is still very thoughtful!
认证二手车也是很贴心的礼物!
Hey, what are you doing?
你在干嘛?
I was trying to research cars, but you wouldn't believe
我想研究一下车子 你肯定不信
what comes up when you Google "Hummer."
用谷歌♥搜"悍马"会出来些什么结果
Actually, I would.
实际上 我信
Here, I got you something I think you're really gonna like.
来 我给你带了样东西 我想你肯定会喜欢的
wich?
是个三明治吗?
*****
我♥干♥嘛要给你三明治?
'Cause you want me to be surprised?
因为你想给我个惊喜?
Just open it.
快打开吧
You know what's a great sandwich? The Monte Cristo.
知道什么三明治最好吗? 蒙特卡罗三明治
'Cause it has ham and cheese and it's fried.
里面有火腿和奶酪 而且还是油炸的
Open the damn box.
快打开那个该死的盒子吧
Whoa, don't get your period.
别来气啊
Oh, wow, a mini video camera.
哇 迷你摄影机
Pretty cool, huh?
很酷吧?
Is this 'cause you think you're dying?
是因为你觉得自己快死了吗?
No, no. I just wanted to do something nice for you.
不是 我只想对你好一些
Before you die.
在你死之前
Do you want the camera or not?
你到底想不想要摄影机?
Yeah, I want it.
我想要
Then just say thank you.
那就说声谢谢
Thank you. Geez.
谢谢 天呐
You need to relax. You'll give yourself a heart attack.
你得放松下 你会犯心脏病的
I'll work on it.
我会想办法的
Have a sandwich. That always relaxes me.
吃个三明治吧 那总会让我放松的
All right, one more gift to give.
好了 还有一份礼物要送
Oh, yeah? Saving the best for last?
是吗? 把最好的留到最后?
I don't know about the best, but it's sure the hardest.
我不知道是不是最好的 但肯定是最难的
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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