好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E08
Part 1
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:10 a.m.
Morning. Morning.
早上好 早上好
Charlie,please don't start anything.
查理 不要啦
Too late. I woke up started.
太晚了 我就为这个才醒的
I have to get to work.
我得起床上班去
Okay,I've got a job for you.
好啊 我有个工作派给你
We'll finish this tonight.
我们今晚再解决吧
I may have to finish this myself.
我可能要自己解决了
Knock yourself out.
你自便吧
It's no fun if you have permission.
还得得到允许就没劲了
So,Charlie,I was thinking maybe tonight
查理 我想或许今晚
we could stay at my place.
我们可以住我家
No,no,no,no,no, no,no,no,no,no.
不 不 不 不
Charlie?
查理?
I'm sorry, did you say something?
抱歉 你说什么?
I said maybe tonight we could stay at my place.
我说或许今晚我们可以住我家
You want to play on my face?
你想在我脸上玩?
Stay at my place.
住 我 家
What about it?
为什么?
I've been coming here for the past three weeks,
我都来这儿住了三周了
and it's like an hour drive for me to get to work.
我去上班要开一小时的车
Well,I'd be happy to spring for a cab.
我很乐意给你叫出租车
It's not the drive,you idiot.
不是开车的问题 笨蛋
You just said it was the drive.
你刚才说是开车的问题
What I mean is if we're gonna see each other on a regular basis,
我的意思是如果我们要经常见面
there should be some give and take.
就应该互相迁就
Based on last night, we're pretty even Steven in the give-and-take department.
就昨晚的情况来说 我俩的互动基本上是半斤八两啊
And if I recall correctly, you're up one "take."
如果我没记错 你还多"上"了一次
Hey,of the two of us, I'm the one with tennis elbow.
我俩之中 我是有网球肘的那个
So what about tonight?
那今晚怎么样?
I'd love to,but it might be a little tricky.
我很乐意 但可能有点儿麻烦
Why?
怎么了?
Oh,I knew she'd ask me that.
我就知道她会这么问我
I'm starting to get the feeling that you only want to see at your place and at your convenience.
我开始觉得 你只想在你家 在你方便的时候见我
No,of course not.
不 当然不是
Well,then fine,you'll stay at my place tonight.
那好 今晚你来我家住
Sounds great.
好极了
Lookin' forward to it.
相当期待啊
Two and a Half Men Season06 Episode08
好汉两个半:第六季第8集
So what do you want to do this weekend?
这周末你想做什么?
Doesn't matter,just as long as you and I are together.
只要你跟我在一起 干啥都无关紧要
What did you do?
你干什么坏事了?
I didn't do anything.
我啥都没干
Why would you even ask me that?
你怎么能这么问我?
I'm guessing he either robbed a liquor store or killed a drifter.
我猜他要么是打劫小酒店了 要么是杀了个流浪汉
Do I need to call your mother and ask her?
我需要给你妈打电♥话♥问问她吗?
If you want to,but you know how she pushes your buttons.
你想打就打呗 但你知道她有多让你不爽
I'll take that chance.
我还是要碰碰运气
Fine,I don't care.
打吧 我不在乎
All right,all right! I got thrown off the school bus.
好吧 好吧! 我在校车上被赶下来了
You got the spine of a gummy bear.
你真是个软蛋
Why were you thrown off the bus?
你为什么会被赶下来?
Well,actually, it's a funny story.
其实这事挺有意思的
Amuse me.
说来乐乐
Have you ever heard of this thing called mooning?
你听说过"露屁♥股♥"这回事吗?
Yeah. Yeah,it rings a bell.
有点印象
The bus was going past the girls' track team
校车经过女生田径队时
and a bunch of us thought it'd be funny to moon them.
我们觉得露屁♥股♥吓吓她们会很好玩
See,she gets it.
看吧 她明白了
Berta.
贝塔
Sorry. I'm just remembering my prom.
抱歉 我想起我的舞会来了
So what happened?
怎么回事?
Well,I was working near the high school that night,
那晚我在高中附近工作
and I thought it would be fun to drive the backhoe...
我觉得开挖土机能挺好玩...
No. Not you. Him.
不是 没说你 说他呢
Well. Excuse me for sharing.
抱歉跟你们分享了
What happened?
怎么回事?
Well,it sounds like Berta had quite a prom.
听起来贝塔的舞会挺不错
You're skating on thin ice,Jake.
你现在可是如履薄冰啊 杰克
Boy,that's something we haven't done in a long time--skating.
伙计 我们可好久没玩这个了 溜冰
Jake!
杰克!
Mom grounded me for two weeks.
老妈把我禁足两周
Why didn't your mother tell me about this?
你妈为啥没把这事告诉我?
I promised I'd tell you.
我跟她保证我会告诉你
What can I say? She believed me.
我能说啥啊? 她信任我
So how about a movie? A little father-son bonding.
去看场电影咋样? 父子小聚一下
No,no. No movies.
不 不能看电影
Skating? No skating.
那溜冰? 也不能溜冰
Fine.
好吧
Also no TV,no video games,
还不能看电视 不能打电玩
no cell phones,and no iPods--
不能用手♥机♥ 不能听IPod
nothing that gives you any amusement or enjoyment.
不能碰任何消遣或娱乐工具
Couldn't you just smack me with a belt and get it over with?
你干嘛不拿皮带抽我一顿 然后让这事过去得了?
Get out of here.
滚一边去
I'm bored.
我无聊死了啊
Oh,man.
天呐
What's the matter?
怎么了?
Did you know that Culver City is all the way down near the airport?
你知道去卡尔弗 市 要一直开到机场附近吗?
Yes.
知道
That's gotta be like 45 minutes from here.
离这儿差不多有45分钟的路
If there's no traffic.
如果不堵车的话
Traffic?
堵车?
Is this Culver City place popular?
卡尔弗市是旅游胜地么?
Not particularly,but there are other people with cars
也不算是 但还有别的开车族
living lives completely separate from your own.
过着跟你完全不同的生活
Oh,right. I hate those people.
对 我恨死那些人了
"So what's in Culver City?," he asked,
"卡尔弗 市有什么吸引你的?" 他问道
knowing the only possible answer.
尽管已然知晓唯一可能的答案
Can you believe she wants me to schlep all the way over to her place just
你能相信 她让我大老远的去她那儿
so we can spend the night together?
就为了我们能一起过夜吗?
Aw,you poor guy.
可怜的人呐
You have to drive 45 minutes to get laid.
你得开45分钟车才能跟人上♥床♥
And 45 minutes to get back.
还得再开45分钟回来
That's 90 minutes behind the wheel
要花90分钟的时间开车
for 20,30 minutes behind...
才能换来20 30分钟的...
Well,I don't need to draw you a map.
我就不给你画地图了
You're breaking my heart.
你太让我伤心了
And it's not just that.
还不光如此
She said there's only street parking.
她说只能把车停在街边
Which means trees.
就是说有树的地方
And trees have that,you know, toxic syrup
树上那些有毒的汁液会滴下来
that drips out of them and gets all over your car.
弄得我车上到处都是
Sap. If I make that drive,I am.
那叫树液(笨蛋) 如果我开车去了 我才是个笨蛋
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
等等 等一下
You always said that it was better to go to the woman's house
你总说去女人家更好
so that you could make a quick getaway.
那样你就能尽快脱身了
Yeah,for one-nighters that's fine.
一♥夜♥情♥的话那样是很好
But this girl,I care about.
但这个小妞 我挺在乎她的
We've been seeing each other for almost a month.
我俩约会差不多有一个月了
And yet you just found out where she lives.
那你才刚知道她住哪儿
There's a difference between caring and stalking,Alan.
关心和跟踪是有区别的 艾伦
Hey,Dad,I need my laptop.
嗨 老爸 我想用电脑
What for? Homework.
用来干吗? 做作业
What homework?
什么作业?
Um... Damn,you're good.
呃... 该死 你太强了
Thanks for driving all the way over here,Charlie.
谢谢你大老远的开车过来 查理
Are you kidding?
开玩笑吧?
I would've walked here if I had to.
要是必要的话让我走过来都行
Probably would've been faster with the traffic.
可能还比堵车的时候快点儿
Good night.
晚安
Good night.
晚安
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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