好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E18
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:12 a.m.
Boy,as soon as I get my license,I am so outta here.
天 等我一拿到驾照就马上离开这
Sure. You can drive your girlfriend to Gymboree.
是啊 那你就可以开车送你女朋友 去金宝贝了(婴幼儿用品店)
At least I have a girlfriend.
那得等我有女朋友才行
At least I have a girlfriend.
等我有女朋友才行
So what's the deal? Does,uh,Chelsea have a cold?
怎么啦? 切尔西感冒啦?
I'm not sure.
我不清楚
Cold,flu,something disgusting.
感冒 流感 还是其他什么恶心的东西
Maybe she has an STD.
也许她得性病了
What?
什么?
It means "sexually transmitted disease."
就是"性传播疾病"
I know what STD's are.
我知道什么是性病
Your uncle helped invent them.
那是你叔叔协助发明的
You know,they can be prevented by using a condom.
戴安全套就不会得性病了
I know we could've prevented you by using a condom.
我只知道用了安全套就不会有你了
Now we gotta use a hammer.
现在我们得用锤子了
I don't understand.
我不明白
Go get me a hammer, and I'll show you.
去拿个锤子来 我示范给你看
Okay.
好
You must be so proud.
你一定为他感到非常自豪
Ball peen or claw hammer?
你要圆头铁槌还是拔钉锤?
Do me a favor, when he comes back,just do it.
帮我个忙 等他回来 就干掉他吧
Okay,here we go. Room service.
好 来咯 房♥间服务
Chelsea? Honey?
切尔西? 宝贝?
Don't come in. Wasn't even tempted.
别进来 就没想过
I got your tea and muffins.
给你送茶和松饼来了
I have diarrhea. I can't eat now.
我拉肚子了 现在吃不下
I may never eat again.
我也不会吃
Would you mind going to the drugstore for me?
你能去药店帮我买♥♥点药吗?
For you,I'd go to the ends of the earth.
为了你 上刀山下火海在所不辞
Coming back's a whole other question.
要不要回来就是另一回事了
What?
什么?
I said,"What do you need?"
我说 "你要买♥♥什么?"
Well,I need Pepto, and we're almost out of tissues,
我要买♥♥Pepto胃药 纸巾也快用完了
and I need some decongestant,
顺便买♥♥点解充血药
some cough syrup, something for canker sores, and wet wipes.
再买♥♥些止咳糖浆 治口腔溃疡的 还有湿纸巾
For your hands?
擦手的?
No. Got it.
不是 明白了
And I'm probably gonna need some tampons.
再买♥♥点卫生棉
Oh,great. There's gonna be blood,too.
好极了 大姨妈也来了
You're really being wonderful about all this, Charlie.
你真是太好了 查理
Oh,it's nothing.
小意思
It's what a guy does when he loves somebody.
这是爱一个人应该做的
Should've known.
早该料到了
The second you give 'em a ring, they fall out of warranty.
从你给她们戒指的那一刻起 她们就过了保质期了
Hey,Russell?
拉塞尔?
What's good for canker sores?
口腔溃疡用什么药好?
You got canker sores?
你得了口腔溃疡?
No,my girlfriend. What do you recommend?
不 是我女朋友 你有什么推荐药品?
Tennis shoes.
网球鞋
Excuse me? Put 'em on and run away.
什么? 穿上网球鞋跑得远远的
There's a lot of broads out there. Find a clean one.
外面有很多妞 去找一个没病的
I -I can't run away.
我-我不能跑掉
I'm kind of engaged to her.
我算是和她订了婚
Oh,Charlie,no.
噢 查理 不是吧
Yup. I bit the bullet.
没错 我下定了决心
You bit the big one.
你下的决心还不小啊
Hey,just because you blew three marriages doesn't mean I can't make this work.
你搞砸了3次婚姻 不代表我也会搞砸
You're a funny guy,Charlie.
你是个有趣的人 查理
And that's not just the Oxycontin talking.
我不是因为嗑了止痛药才这么说
Here you go. Cank-B-Gone.
给你这个 Cank-B-Gone(发音很像"好不了")
What else?
还需要别的吗?
Uh,let's see. Cough syrup.
呃 让我看看 咳嗽糖浆
Regular or codeine?
一般的还是可待因? (镇痛止咳 但有成瘾性)
Don't you need a prescription for codeine?
可待因不是处方药吗?
What are you,a cop?
你算什么 警♥察♥吗?
Here. I'll give you the kid stuff. What else?
这样吧 给你小孩喝的 还有什么?
Uh,tissues, throat lozenges, decongestant, Pepto,wet wipes.
呃 卷纸 润喉片 解充血药 Pepto胃药 湿纸巾
Geez,where'd you find this one? A hospital parking lot?
老天 你在哪儿找到这个妞的? 医院停车场?
Come on,Russell,help me out.
拜托 拉塞尔 帮我找一下
Okay. Okay,here you go.
行呐 行呐 来这边
A dam for every river.
对症下药
A plug for every jug.
有求必应
Oh,right,I almost forgot. She also needs tampons.
噢 对了 我差点忘了 她还需要卫生棉
Oh,lucky you.
噢 你真幸运
What size?
要什么型号♥的?
How should I know?
我怎么会知道?
Is there some kind of a condom-tampon conversion chart?
有没有什么避孕套-卫生棉型号♥对照表?
No,but that's an amusing idea.
没有 不过这倒是个有趣的想法
Actually,it's not about size,per se.
实际上 它本身和尺寸大小无关
It's more about flow.
主要和流量有关
Okay,see,that's a piece of information I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing.
这点事我这辈子都不想搞清楚
Here you go. Here's a variety pack.
给你这个吧 这是组合包
This'll handle anything from a little drizzle to a monsoon.
从涓涓细流到山洪暴发都能应付
Listen,is it too late to change my mind about the codeine?
关于可待因糖浆 我现在改变主意 还不算太迟吧?
The first one's free.
第一瓶是免费的
Okay,got all your stuff.
好了 这是你要的所有东西
Took you long enough.
你花了很长时间啊
I just went shopping for wet wipes and tampons.
我刚出去买♥♥了湿纸巾和卫生棉
I'm allowed to take my time.
我有权慢慢来的吧
I'm sorry. Are you mad at me?
对不起 你生我气了吗?
No. No. Why would I be mad at you?
不会 不会 我怎么会生你的气呢?
'Cause I'm sick, and you have to take care of me.
因为我生病了 你还得照顾我
Are you kidding me? I love taking care of you.
你不是开玩笑吧? 我喜欢照顾你
I just... love... it.
我就是... 很喜欢...
Yeah,I can see that.
嗯 我能看出来
Listen,could you go over to my place and get me some clean clothes
你能去我住的地方 给我拿点干净的衣服
and feed Sir Lancelot?
顺便喂一喂兰斯洛特爵士吗?
Who? My cat.
谁? 我养的猫
He's not gonna feed himself, Charlie.
他是不会喂自己的 查理
Are you sure? Maybe you've got mice.
你确定吗 也许你家里有老鼠
And you're probably gonna have to change the litter box,too.
你可能还得清理一下猫砂盆
Change it into what?
怎么清理?
You got to scoop out the poop and put in fresh litter.
你要把便便铲出来 然后放入干净的猫砂
Oh,this just keeps getting better and better.
噢 真是越来越棒了
Charlie? Yeah?
查理? 什么事?
I love you. Great.
我爱你 好极了
Aren't you gonna say it back?
你难道不说也爱我吗?
I'm gonna go pan for cat turds.
我要去铲猫粪了
If that doesn't say "I love you," nothing does.
没什么比这更能代表"我爱你"的了
I promise,I'm wearing it.
我发誓 我戴着呢
Wait a sec.
等一下
Okay,I sent you a picture.
我给你发了一张照片
Now what's the answer to number four?
第4题的答案是啥?
Oh,yeah. That's what I had.
噢 和我做的一样
What you doing,Alan?
你在做什么 艾伦?
My taxes.
我在计算报税数额
I promised myself I wouldn't wait till the last minute this year.
我对自己发誓今年绝不拖到最后一分钟
Yeah,and you promised me you'd only stay here for a few days,
是吗 你还答应我只在这里待几天
so your word means nothing.
可见你的承诺毫无意义
Come on,you're driving me to Chelsea's.
你开车送我去切尔西住的地方
Why don't you drive yourself?
你为啥不自己去?
Because I just chugged a half a bottle of codeine,
因为我刚刚灌了半瓶可待因
and this bourbon might make me a bit of a threat on the road.
而这杯波旁酒会让我成为马路杀手
Ah,good call.
啊 好主意
Here,kitty,kitty.
过来 咪♥咪♥ 咪♥咪♥
Here,kitty,kitty,kitty.
过来 咪♥咪♥ 咪♥咪♥ 咪♥咪♥
Okay,I got her clean clothes.
我拿到了她的干净衣服
Great.
太棒了
Now I just got to feed the damn cat.
现在我只需喂这只该死的猫
Come on,Sir Lancelot.
快来 兰斯洛特爵士
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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