好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E02
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:09 a.m.
giving me a hand with the NordicTrack?
搬一下跑步机?
Oh, sure.
没问题
Love you.
我爱你
Hey, Charlie.
查理 你好
Oh, hey, Herb, what's up?
赫伯 你好 有什么事吗?
I came to pick up some stuff for Alan.
我来帮艾伦拿些东西
For Alan?
帮艾伦?
Yeah, he's staying with Judith and I
是的 他找到新屋前
till he gets back on his feet.
跟我和朱蒂丝住
Gee, Herb, I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
天啊 赫伯 我讨厌当坏消息的传递人
but I've been waiting six years for that khaki-wearing weasel
但是我等那黄鼠狼般的钉子户搬家
to get on his feet.
已经等了六年了
Judith mentioned that...
朱蒂丝提过...
using a lot of the same words, interestingly enough.
用了很多一样的言辞 很有趣
Anyway, he wanted to avoid having a scene with you,
无论怎样 他避免跟你见面
so he asked if I'd pick up some of his stuff.
所以他问我是否能帮他拿回一些他的物品
And you agreed?
然后你答应了?
I had to get out of there, Charlie.
我必须离开那里 查理
Okay, okay, fine.
好的 好的 没问题
What do you need?
你要拿什么东西?
Quite a few things, actually.
实际上 还挺多东西的
He gave me a list.
他给了我一张清单
Well, let him stay in there long enough,
如果让他在你那里待久了
he'll give you a bleeding ulcer.
他会给你来个出血性溃疡
Yeah, Judith said that, too.
朱蒂丝也这样说过
Anyway, uh, melatonin, a mouth guard.
无论怎样 褪黑素 口罩
I guess he grinds his teeth at night.
我想他晚上会磨牙吧
I myself have restless legs syndrome.
我自己也有不宁腿综合征
But just the left leg.
但只是左脚而已
Right leg sleeps like a baby.
右脚睡得像个婴儿
What else, Herb?
还有什么 赫伯?
Well, I also got apnea and I tend to drool a lot.
我还有间接性呼吸停顿 我还经常睡觉时流口水
The list, Herb.
清单 赫伯
Oh, yeah, yeah.
明白 明白
Let's see, shower cap, loofa mitt
让我们看看 浴帽 手套
and some kind of little stool
还有一些能在上厕所时
that elevates his feet while he's sitting on the toilet.
垫脚的小凳子
What?
什么?
Yeah, apparently when
是的 很明显
the morning coffee doesn't do the job,
当喝了不好的早餐咖啡的时候
having his feet up gives him that extra leverage
把他的脚垫高会让他增加额外的负担
for a successful bowel movement.
这样排便就会更加的通畅
You're kidding?
你在开玩笑吧?
No. Look.
没有 看
"For a successful BM."
"为了顺畅BM"
That would mean "bowel movement."
意思是"排便"
Okay, fine. Guest bedroom's right down there.
好了 没问题 我想厕所在那边
Hey, I just made
我刚做了一大罐玛格丽塔酒
a pitcher of margaritas. You want one?
你要来点吗?
Oh, gee, I'll have to pass.
天啊 我必须得快点搞定这些东西
Judith's waiting for me to get back,
朱蒂丝等着我回去
and she gets really steamed...
她真的很生气...
Salt or no salt?
咸的还是不咸的?
Salt. Okay. You got it
咸的 好的 明白
This is so weird.
这种感觉很奇怪
It's just for a couple days, Jake.
几天而已 杰克
Don't make a federal case.
别小题大做
You know this is probably gonna affect my schoolwork.
这可能会影响到我写作业的
How? It's not like your grades could get any lower.
怎么会呢 好像你的分数已经低得不能再低了
That's good, Alan. Undermine his self-esteem.
行了 艾伦 别伤人自尊
You see what I have to live with on weekends?
看来我得这样过周末吗
Nobody's talking to you.
没人跟你说话
Where's he gonna sleep?
他要在睡在哪里呢
I'm not a "he." I'm your father.
我不是"他" 我是你的父亲
How'd you get to be my father if you're not a "he"?
你要不是"他"怎么能当我父亲呢
Go make up the couch.
就睡这沙发吧
What about the guest room?
在客房♥怎么样
That's not a guest room anymore.
已经没有客房♥了
It's Herb's train room.
成了赫伯的火车房♥间
His what?
他的什么
He's a model train aficionado.
他是个典型的火车发烧友
Aficionado?
发烧友?
He works hard. He deserves a hobby.
他干得很辛苦 他应该有些业余爱好
Sometimes he lets me wear the hat.
有些时候他让我戴一下帽子
I begged you for years to let me turn that into a game room.
我求你让我把它变成一个游戏室很多年了
Bumper pool, ping-pong, something.
蹦床室 乒乓球室 或这其他
Oh, this is different. How?
现在不同的 怎么不同法?
Herb can play with his trains alone.
赫伯可以独自玩他的火车
I'm sure he does plenty of stuff in there alone.
我相信他一个人在那玩很多东西
Excuse me?
什么
Nothing.
没什么
I got it.
我明白
This is so beautiful.
这里真美
Yep.
是的
Can I confess something, Charlie?
我能向你坦白些事吗 查理
What's that?
是什么
I sometimes wonder about the road not taken.
有时我会好奇没有走的那条路
Which road is that?
哪条路
Your road, Charlie.
你走的那条 查理
Oh. It's a good road, Herb.
这条路很棒 赫伯
So it's not a matter of the grass always seems greener?
这么说跟路边野花看上去总是特别香没关系?
No, no. No, the grass is pretty frickin' green over here.
没关系 这条路边的野花的确是香
Damn!
妈的
Oops. It's me.
是我的
I hope so.
但愿如此
It's the road taken.
这是我选的路
You're not gonna answer it?
你不接吗
Nah. Judith will just harsh my mellow.
不接 朱蒂丝只知道指责我太懒散
Yeah, she's a mellow-harsher.
是的 她是个爱挑刺儿的人
But I love her.
但我爱她
That's nice.
这很好
You know, in the boudoir, we're very simpatico.
我们在床第间倒是相当合拍
Glad to hear it.
很好
On top of everything else,
除了这些
she actually let me put my train set in her back room.
她甚至让我把火车放进她的私处
Damn cran-apple juice.
妈的喝了太多酸梅汁
I should start wearing a diaper.
我该开始穿尿布了
It's about time you got home.
你也该回家了
Is that an apology I'm feeling?
你这是在向我道歉吗
Where's my husband?
我丈夫在哪儿
Sleeping on the deck.
在露台上睡觉
What? Why?
什么 怎么会这样
He's drunk.
他喝醉了
Herb's not a drinker.
赫伯是不喝酒的
No argument there.
证据确凿
All right, here's how it's gonna go:
那好 接下来应该这样
I am taking him home with me
我把他带回家
and you're taking back your brother.
你把你哥接回去
How 'bout this?
这样行不行?
You and Alan patch things up and I keep Stretch out there.
你和艾伦和好 而我把那麻杆留在这儿
I'm kinda fond of the big lug.
我和这个大块头挺合得来
Charlie, I'm in no mood.
查理 我可没那心情逗趣
Not what I heard.
我听说的可不是这样
What?
什么意思?
I don't have time for this. Alan, get in here!
我没时间和你瞎耗 艾伦快过来
No!
不要
Do not make me come get you!
别让我亲自动手
Now...
赶紧...
apologize to your brother.
向你兄弟道歉
Do it!
快做
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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