好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E03
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:09 a.m.
Thought I'd expand my horizons a bit.
最近我开阔了下眼界
What?
咋了?
I'm just trying to figure out how scrambled eggs are gonna get you laid.
我不过是在猜想炒鸡蛋怎么才能让你睡到美眉
You and me both.
我和你都一样
I got it!
我来接
Hello?
你好
Oh! oh, hi, stephanie.
你好 斯特福妮
Yeah, yeah, i, uh, I had a great time, too.
是的 是的 我昨晚也很开心
Yes, it-it was special.
是的 感觉很特别
I-i don't usually do that on a first date either.
我 我通常在第一次约会也不会这么做
Thank you for letting me do that, by the way.
顺便说一下 感谢你让我这么做
Uh... uh... tonight?
今晚?
Uh... oh, gee. hey, alan!
天啊
How do you like your eggs?
你希望你的鸡蛋怎么个整法
Uh, uh, one sec.
等一等
Charlie, stephanie wants to see me tonight,
查理 今晚想跟我约会
But I already made a date with katie. what do I do?
但是我已经跟凯特约好了 我该怎么办
Scrambled it is.
那就炒的吧
Uh, uh, the thing is, uh, I already made plans, uh, with my, uh, you know,
情况是这样的 我已经跟我的 我的
Son, who I love dearly.
儿子计划好了 我非常爱他
What are we doing?
我们要干什么
Nothing. go away.
没事 走开
Oh, oh, w-what are we doing?
我们要干什么
Uh, uh, well, he and I have this, uh, this father-son thing uh,
他和我呢 这是父子俩的事情
Where once a week, we...
每个周末 我们
Uh, uh... rent go-karts.
去开卡丁车
Rent go-karts.
开卡丁车
And, uh... and, uh...
还有 还有
Eat pizza.
吃披萨
And eat pizza. and, uh...
吃披萨
And drink beer.
还有喝啤酒
And drink... go away!
喝...走开啊
And, and drink, uh, uh, a lot of water, which the body needs to, uh,
还有喝 很多水 我们身体需要它
To stay healthy.
来保持健康
Um, anyway, we-we're on for saturday, right?
无论怎么样 我们星期六约会好不好
Uh, okay, uh, uh, great, great.
好的 非常好 非常好
Good. i-i'll see you then.
好 我 我到时候再见你
Okay, bye.
好的 再见
We're not going go-karting, are we?
我们不会去开卡丁车 是吗
No.
是的
You're using me for your own purposes, aren't you?
你在利用我 是吗
Here's $20.
这里有20美元
Hey, alan.
你好 艾伦
Taste these.
尝尝
Why does it smell like bourbon?
怎么闻起来像波旁威士忌的
The book said "season to taste."
书上说的是"四季风味"
Just kidding. I spilled.
开玩笑 我洒了点酒
N-no, thank you.
不了 谢谢
Suit yourself.
随你的便吧
A little too much egg.
蛋放多了点
Jake, let's go!
杰克 我们走吧
I told your mother I'd have you back by 7:00.
我跟你妈妈说过了我7点钟接你回来
Hey, alan, alan, alan.
你好 艾伦 艾伦
Would you taste my hollandaise sauce?
你要尝尝我的蛋黄黄油柠檬酱吗
You made hollandaise sauce?
你搞了蛋黄黄油柠檬酱
You tell me.
你告诉我的
You did not make hollandaise sauce.
你不是在搞蛋黄黄油柠檬酱
Damn you, eggs benedict.
该死的班尼迪克蛋
Charlie, why are you doing this?
查理 你为什么搞这玩意
Doing what?
搞什么玩意
In the six years that I have been living here,
我在这里住了六年
The only time I've seen you turn on the stove was to light a cigar.
我唯一一次看到你打着火炉是因为你当时要点雪茄
Yeah, well, people grow, people change.
是的 人都会长大 人都会变的
People get drunk while watching the food network.
人看菜谱的时候醉的
Jake, let's go!
杰克 我们走吧
I may not be back till late-- I'm planning
我可能迟点回来 我计划着
On giving my rose to bachelorette number two.
给二号♥单身女士送花
Wow. only you could gay up bangin' two women.
哇 看来只有你才能同时跟两个女人玩同性恋
Says the man in the apron with the curdled hollandaise sauce.
穿围裙做蛋黄黄油柠檬酱的男人还说这种话
So you admit it is hollandaise sauce?
那你承认这是蛋黄黄油柠檬酱了
Mom said you could drop me off at gabe's house so we can study.
妈妈说你可以把我留在盖比家 这样我们可以学习
Oh. are you really gonna study?
你真的准备学习
Sure.
当然
Great.
太好了
See that? he respects me enough to lie to me.
看到没 他对我足够尊敬才对我说谎
Hey, alan.
嗨 艾伦
Speaking of lies-- at some point,
说到撒谎 有可能
One of these broads is gonna ask you a
有些人会问你没有
Question for which you will have no ready answer.
准备好怎么回答的问题
Like what? well, it could be "what did you do last night?"
比如说 可以问"你昨天晚上干什么了?"
or as trick is
又比如说
"why is there a pasty stuck to your testicles?"
"为什么你的蛋蛋上有肉饼?"
The point is, you need to be careful.
关键是告诉你要小心
So you're gonna teach me how to lie to women?
你要教我怎样对女人撒谎?
Do you know enough to pull the pasty off and say "happy anniversary"?
你有足够的本事把肉饼拿下来 并且说一周年纪念快乐吗
I do now.
现在我可以了
Another thing you need to remember is
你要记住的另外一件事
Always answer a question with another question.
永远要用另一个问题作为答案
What do you mean? exactly.
你什么意思 就是这样
What? great, you're all set.
什么 不错嘛 你准备好了
Drunk again? yep.
又喝高了 没错
Well, thank you. I appreciate the advice.
谢谢你和你的建议
I've got more.
还有呢
Charlie, please don't take this the wrong way,
查理 不要误解我的意思
But if a semi-functioning wino, such as yourself,
但是如果想你这种昏迷不清的酒鬼
Can date several women at the same time, I'm quite certain I can handle two.
可以同时约会好几个女人 我相信我可以搞定两个
Why would I take that the wrong way?
我怎么会误解你呢
Ugh! tastes like stale ass.
尝起来像烂肉
Is it just me or does this thing we have feel really, really comfortable?
只有我感觉如此的舒服吗
Oh, yeah.
当然不是了
I mean, you know, maybe not pet-names- for-our-pee-parts comfortable,
我是说虽然还没有互相给私处起外号♥那么舒服
But we're certainly getting there.
但肯定就快到了
Oh, hey, next week, my ex is taking my daughter to see his parents,
下周我前夫要带我的女儿去见他的父母
So you and I can spend the whole weekend in bed.
我们可以整个周末都在床上
That-that sounds great.
听起来不错
I'll leave myself alone till then.
那之前我会保存实力的
Oh, oh, oh, wait, wait-- uh, uh, next weekend?
哦 等一下 下周
Uh, you know, uh, I'll have to check,
嗯 我需要确认一下
But i-i-i think saturday is a-a working saturday for me.
我想 周六我要工作
Oh, no. really?
不是吧 真的吗
Yeah, yeah, it's unfortunate, but in today's economic climate,
是啊 太郁闷了 不过现在全球经济不景气
Saturday is no longer the sabbath for
周六也不再是安息日了
Anybody except perhaps very religious jewish people.
除了那些非常信教的犹太人
You know, the guys with the beards and the hats?
那些留着胡子戴着帽子的人
Did you see yentl? I love that movie.
你看过杨朵吗 我特爱那部电影
That's one I wouldn't mind owning.
我非常想收藏
Alan, are you seeing another woman?
艾伦 你是不是在跟别的女人约会
Charlie, are you seeing another woman?
查理 你是不是在跟别的女人约会
Why would you ask me that?
你怎么会这么问
I just need to know I can trust you.
我要知道我可以信任你
Ah, well, trust is a two-way street.
好吧 信任是双方的事情
I know.
我知道
Do you?
真的吗
Because without trust, all we have is sex.
没有信任 我们就只剩下性了
Well, you can trust me, charlie.
你可以信任我 查理
God, I hope so.
天啊 希望如此
I've been hurt before.
我以前受过伤害
I won't hurt you. I promise.
我不会伤害你的 我保证
Okay, then.
那就好
Another woman?!
另一个女人
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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