好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E04
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:10 a.m.
Now it's just a matter of waiting until it blows up in my face.
他的喷的气吹到我脸上 也只是时间问题了
And after it blows up in my face, it will then circle around and bite me in the ass.
朝我的脸喷完气之后 就会绕到我背后 咬我屁♥股♥
That's me. No face, no ass.
这就是我 没脸也没屁屁
Well, that's what you get when you mix work and personal.
这就是你没搞清工作和私生活的后果
Which is why me and Charlie have always kept
这就是我和查理一直坚决把
everything strictly professional.
我们的关系保持在事业层面上的原因
Yeah, yeah, I've often wondered about that.
是 是 我时常想不通呢
When I first started to work here,
我第一次来这里工作的时候就
I laid down the law: looky, no touchy.
定下了准则"只许看不许摸"
Yipes.
相当对
All right, I'll make you another, but you got to promise not to chug this one.
好吧 我再给你调一杯 但是你得保证不要一口气喝完了
Promise!
我保证!
What a fun gal.
这个女孩真风趣
Charlie, do you know how hard it is to find a decent receptionist?
查理 你知道找一个体面的接待员 有多么难吗?
Well, kudos, bro, you did a great job.
那是 你真棒 兄弟 干得好
Thank you, and I-I really don't want to lose her.
谢谢 我...我真的不想失去她
Why would you lose her?
你为什么会失去她?
Oh, gee, I don't know.
偶滴神 不晓得咧
Maybe because my brother intends to defile and discard her like a warm melon.
或许是我的哥哥想把她当作一个 温软的甜瓜 搞完就丢
A warm melon?
温软的甜瓜?
Nothing.
当我没说
Anyway, my point is that you're gonna leave her with bad memories
其实 我要说的是 你会给她 留下痛苦的记忆
that can only be erased by removing herself from
而消除这种记忆的方法就是远离
anything that reminds her of you--
一切能够让她想起你的东西
like me.
比如说我
Is that what you're worried about, Bunky?
你就担心这个吗 想太多先生?
Yes, that's what I'm worried about.
当然 我当然是担心这个
What did you think I was worried about?
那你以为我担心什么?
What else would I be worried about?
我还要担心什么?
Well, let's see.
那好 让我们想想
Your receding hairline,
你越来越靠后的发际
your semi-literate son, your budding man-boobs.
傻乎乎的儿子 逐渐发育的男性乳♥房♥♥
But that's just off the top of my head.
这画面想都不敢想
Charlie, please, I am begging you.
查理 求求你了 算我求你了
Look, I understand your concerns, but it's not like that.
听着 我理解 但是事实不是这样的
I think Melissa is terrific.
我觉得梅丽莎完美极了
You always think they're terrific.
你哪次不觉得人家完美了
They're terrific before.
没搞人家的时候 人家完美
They're terrific during.
正在搞人家的时候 人家也完美
It's the after when the crying and the quitting start.
我说的是等哭泣和分手开始之后
Why is it always about you?
干嘛我总要想着你?
Aren't I entitled to some happiness?
我就不能乐一乐?
You've had your share of happiness.
你乐的还不够吗
You've had your share of happiness, my share, everybody's share.
你帮我 帮所有人都乐完了
You've sucked the marrow of happiness from the... bones of...
你把快乐的骨髓从骨头里吸出来...
Oh, just leave her alone, won't you?
噢 你不搞她 会死吗?
Alan, you don't have to worry.
艾伦 你不用担心的
You're thinking about the old Charlie,
你还认为我是以前那个查理
the old-hump-'em-and-dump-'em, one-track-mind Charlie.
那个搞完就丢 只为自己的查理
Oh, oh, right, uh, the old Charlie from way back this morning.
噢噢 对了 今天早上的那个查理
I'm serious. I honestly want to start building a relationship.
我是认真的 我真的是想开始 一段认真的感情了
Really? Yeah.
真的? 是呀
Get to know someone, let her get to know me,
了解别人 也让别人了解我
have something in common before we jump into bed.
在上♥床♥之前 找到一些共同点
Wow, I'm impressed.
喔 真不敢相信
That I'm growing up?
我终于成熟了?
No, that you can so easily lie to my face.
才不是 是你当着我的面说谎 居然都不脸红
You'll see.
你马上就会知道了
It's gonna be different with Melissa.
跟梅丽莎这次不同
I'm gonna take my time, form a friendship, bond emotionally,
我要细水长流 建立友谊 情感上的结合
and then and only then, take it to the next level.
到那时 也只会到那时 才会走下一步
98 minutes later...
98分钟以后...
Oh, Charlie!
噢 查理!
You schmuck.
你个大骗子
Morning, Dr. Harper.
早上好 哈珀医生
Morning.
早上好
I like your jammies.
我喜欢你的睡衣
Thank you, I, uh, I like your... thank you.
谢谢 我喜欢你的... 谢谢
Guess you're kind of surprised to see me, huh?
我猜你见到我有点吃惊吧?
Yeah, shocked.
非常震惊
Well, I hope you know it is not the kind of thing I usually do--
我希望你明白我通常不这么做...
you know, hop into bed with a fella zippity-quick.
跟个男的急匆匆的跳上♥床♥
It's really none of my business.
这真不关我的事
Well, I don't.
我不是那种人
But Charlie is so sweet and special.
但查理那么贴心又特别
Yep, he's a treasure.
他真是个宝贝
Yeah, and this works out well for you.
而且这事对你也有好处
Really? Uh, how do you figure?
真的? 怎么会?
Since your car is still in the shop, we can carpool to and from work.
既然你的车还在修 我们可以一起上下班
I see. So, so you'll be coming back?
我明白了 这么说你还要回来?
Oh, yeah.
那是
Charlie asked me to stay the weekend.
查理邀请我在这儿过周末
No kidding. Yeppers.
当真? 那是
We really made a connection...
我们真的心有灵犀
and it is not just physical.
不仅仅是身体上的
Although the physical part is amazing.
尽管身体接触也棒极了
Again, none of my business.
再次重申 不关我事
It is like I have known him all my life.
感觉像是我已经认识他一辈子了
I know the feeling. You get over it.
我明白那感觉 你得克服一下
Hey, baby.
早 宝贝
Hey yourself.
你也早
Do I smell toast? You do.
我闻到的是烤面包吗? 没错
Would you like a slice?
想来一片吗?
I can put butter and jelly on it.
我可以给你涂上黄油和果冻
Oh, dj vu.
似曾相识啊
Stop it. You're terrible.
别闹 你太坏了
Sorry, Dr. Harper.
对不起 哈珀医生
That's okay. I wasn't even listening.
没关系 我都没在听
I'm going to take a shower.
我要去洗个澡
Hit the road in about 20 minutes?
20分钟后开路?
I thought you were going to call in sick. Shush.
我以为你要请病假 嘘
He's kidding.
他开玩笑的
It's okay. 20 minutes is fine.
没关系 20分钟没问题
Great.
太好了
Alan, you know me as a cynical man,
艾伦 你知道我是个愤世嫉俗的人
but in just one night that little pixie has melted this cold, lonely heart.
但这个小精灵只用了一晚上 就融化了我这冰冷孤寂的心
You don't say.
是吗
You may not believe me, but there is something going on here,
你可能不信我 但确实有变化发生了
and I really want to thank you for bringing her into my life.
我真要感谢你把她带进了我的生活
I may not believe you?
我要不信你呢?
You know what? Fine. Think what you want.
知道吗? 随便吧 随你怎么想
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go play Paul Bunyan takes a shower in Tiny Town.
不介意的话 我要去玩大巨人 到小人国洗澡的游戏了
Sorry we're running late.
抱歉我们要迟到了
That's all right.
没关系
Shower lasted a bit longer than I planned.
澡洗的比原计划长了点儿
Yeah, well, uh, that happens.
这种事时有发生
I got to tell you, I am just crazy about your brother.
跟你说 我太迷恋你哥哥了
Swell. Hope it works out.
太好了 但愿一切顺利
How is a guy like that still single?
这么好的人怎么会至今单身?
Well, he's always been a bit of a butterfly,
他一直像个蝴蝶
you know, fluttering through life, hard to pin down.
在花丛中飞来飞去 安定不下来
And being a fall-down drunk is kind of a speed bump for some of the ladies.
对某些女士来说 烂醉如泥的 大酒鬼跟个减速器没啥区别
You're such a jokester, Dr. Harper.
你真爱开玩笑 哈珀医生
Either that or put a gun in my mouth.
要不放把枪在我嘴里试试
Oh, listen, on the way home tonight,
听着 今晚回家的路上
we have to swing by my apartment so I can get some clothes for the weekend.
我们得拐到我公♥寓♥去一下 我得拿些衣服好过周末
And I'm gonna need a little extra time for lunch today.
我今天午休需要多点儿时间
I want to buy some sexy lingerie...
我想买♥♥些性感内衣...
for you know.
你也知道原因
I do.
我知道
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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