好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E15
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:11 a.m.
Huh, what?
哈什么?
Oh, nothing, it's just...
没什么 就是...
sometimes I feel like I'm stealing your money.
有时我觉得我在偷你的钱
So, tell me about this woman.
跟我说说这个女人吧
Chelsea? Not much to tell.
切尔西? 没什么可说的
She's beautiful, sexy, smart, independent.
她漂亮 性感 聪明 独♥立♥
Sometimes when she laughs, she makes a little snorting noise.
有时她笑起来会哼哼的
It's really cute. Kind of like...
非常可爱 就好像...
Not as cute when I do it.
反正比我这个可爱
Sounds like quite a catch.
不错的对象嘛
She's okay. Why did she dump you?
还可以 她为啥要甩了你?
Who can understand a woman's mind?
女人心 海底针啊
Yeah, we're pretty litt puzzles, ain't we?
对啊 我们确实挺难琢磨 不是吗?
So, it's not just me.
看 不是我一个人这么想
yway, for some reason, she suddenly became dissatisfied with our relationship.
总之出于某种原因 她突然对我们的关系感到不满
Well, describe the relationship.
形容一下你们的关系
It was great. She'd come over couple times a week.
很好啊 她一周过来几次
Either she'd bring food or I'd have something deliver. We'd have sex,
或者她带吃的过来 或者我叫外卖♥♥ 然后我们做做♥爱♥
then eat Then, maybe have sex again, depending on what was on TV.
然后吃饭 然后可能再做一次 取决于电视里演什么
And she became dissatisfied with that?
她就变得不满意了?
I know, right?
是啊 很奇怪吧?
Butterscotch.
奶油糖~~
So, how did you feel about losing her?
那么 失去她的感觉如何?
What do you mean? What do I mean?
你什么意思? 我什么意思?
Come on, Charlie. Dr.Seuss could diagnose this.
查理 苏斯博士都能理解这话 (苏斯博士是美国著名儿童读物作家)
You're stuffing yourself with crap to suppress your negative feelings.
你通过吃垃圾食品来抑制你的消极情绪
No, I'm pretty sure that's why I drink.
不 那是我酗酒的原因
You have a choice here.
现在你可以选择
You can dig down and confront your feelings so they won't be controlling your behavior,
要么挖掘和面对你的情绪 以免它继续控制你的行为
or you can keep eating pudding and cookies
要么接着吃布丁和饼干
until you have more chins than a Chinese phone book.
直到你的下巴层数比中国电♥话♥簿还多
No, what else you got?
都不要 还有啥选项?
Do you have a better idea?
你还有更好的办法吗?
What if I could get Chelsea back?
如果我能让切尔西回到我身边呢?
That would only be a temporary solution.
那只是缓兵之计
So?
那又怎样?
That's what people said about bourbon, and we've been together for almost 30 years.
人们还说波本酒是缓兵之计呢 可是我都喝了快三十年了
Okay, you're right. Go get Chelsea back,
好吧 你是对的 去把切尔西追回来
and all your problems will be solved.
你的所有问题就解决了
I'm sensing sarcasm.
这话听着有点儿讽刺
Oh, good, we're finally making progress.
很好 终于有点进步了
Here you go.
给你
What are you drinking?
你喝的是什么?
Chocolate caramel frappuccino with whipped cream and sprinkles.
加奶油和糖末的巧克力焦糖星冰乐
My nephew turned me on to it. You want some?
我外甥推荐给我的 想来点吗?
No, thanks, I had a hot fudge sundae for breakfast.
不用了 早餐我吃了奶油巧克力圣代
Ooh, that sounds good.
听上去不错
You look nice.
你看上去很好
I've got to get back to work, Charlie. What do you want?
我得回去工作了 查理 你要干嘛?
I just wanted to see you. See how you're doing.
我就是想见你 看看你最近怎样
I'm fine. Good.
我很好 那就好
And how's your family back in... Davenport, Iowa?
你在爱荷华州达文波特的家人怎么样?
I'm from Champaign, Illinois.
我家在伊利诺伊州的尚佩恩
You sure? I'm sure.
你确定? 我确定
Bastard set me up.
混♥蛋♥耍我
What? Nothing, nothing.
什么? 没事 没事
I miss you.
我想你
I miss you, too, but it doesn't matter.
我也想你 但没啥用啊
Our relationship wasn't going anywhere, and you are incapable of change.
我们的感情没结果的 你也没能力改变自己
It's not that I'm incapable. I've just been unwilling.
我不是没能力 只是不愿意罢了
Thanks for clearing that up.
谢谢澄清
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait.
不是 别啊 等等
I've been seeing a shrink. Really?
我去见了心理医生 真的?
Yeah, and I'm making a lot of progress confronting my--what do you call them?
是啊 我在面对... 叫啥来着... 个人问题方面
personal issues.
有了很大进步
Well, I'm glad to hear it.
很高兴听到这个
Come. Sit.
来 坐(逗狗狗呢)
And check this out: the shrink's a woman.
听我说 那个心理医生是个女的
A real ballbuster. I can't get away with anything.
太绝了 啥都能解决
Ballbuster?
太绝了?
In a good way.
褒义的嘛
You know, a buster of emotional balls.
你知道的啦 有两把刷子的
You should meet her.
你应该见见她
Are you suggesting we go to couples counseling?
你是说我们应该进行伴侣关系咨♥询♥?
Sure.
是啊
I mean, I want to work on our relationship,
我想为咱们的关系努力
and what better way than couples counseling?
还有什么比伴侣关系咨♥询♥更好的吗?
You're serious.
你动真格的了
Well, of course I'm serious.
我当然是认真的了
What, you think I'd blurt out something like that in the spur of the moment
怎么了 你觉得我是为了阻止你离开
in a desperate attempt to keep you from leaving?
绝望之下一时冲动脱口而出?
It occurred to me.
有这个想法
Well, clearly, you don't know me as well as you should.
显然 你没你想象的那样了解我
All right. Couples counseling.
好吧 伴侣关系咨♥询♥
Wow, I'm impressed, Charlie.
哇 我看好你哦 查理
Me, too.
我也是
Okay, I got to run.
好了 我得走了
Let me know when our appointment is.
约好时间了通知我
Sure thing. Bye-bye.
没问题 再见
Oh, God, what have I done?
天啊 我都干了些啥?
Davenport,Iowa?
爱荷华州的达文波特?
Uh,did I say Davenport,Iowa?
我说了爱荷华州的达文波特?
I meant Champaign,Illinois.
我的意思是伊利诺伊州的尚佩恩
Okay. That's one for you.
好吧 算你赢
Thank you.
谢谢
And that's one for me.
这算我赢
Now, I need some advice.
现在我需要点建议
Oh, and just a friendly heads-up.
给个善意的警告
You screw with me again, it's gonna cost you some teeth.
再耍我我就把你牙齿打掉
I'm listening.
我听着呢
Wait a minute. What's this about?
等等 这是啥意思?
Oh, he bought some stuff with his own money, and he doesn't want you eating it.
他自己花钱买♥♥的东西 不想你吃
You've been to couples counseling, right?
你做过伴侣关系咨♥询♥ 对吧?
Yeah, why?
是啊 怎么了?
I'm going with Chelsea, and I need to know what I'm getting into.
我和切尔西也要去 我得知道都要干点什么
Oh, you're gonna love it.
你会爱死的
I am?
是吗?
Absolutely.
绝对
Once a week, you sit on a couch with your significant other
每周一次 你和你的另一半坐在沙发上
while she snips off your testicles,
她剪掉你的蛋蛋
reaches up inside your chest cavity and goes like this...
进入你的胸腔 然后像这样
to your heart.
对待你的心脏
That doesn't sound very good.
听起来很可怕的样子
Oh, it's horrible.
简直是恐怖
But it's worth it
但这是值得的
because you're paying a stranger to watch
因为你付钱给一个陌生人 让他眼睁睁地看着
while your life goes down the toilet.
看着你的生活完蛋
Along with your money and your house and your car
还有你的钱 房♥子 车
and every last shred of your self-respect!
和你已然破碎的自尊都一起完蛋!
You know, maybe you're not the right guy to ask.
不好意思 我可能问错人了
Oh, no. No, no, no, I'm the perfect guy to ask.
不 不 不 你绝对没有问错人
When Judith and I started, we were just a couple with a few problems.
我和朱迪丝刚开始去时 只算是有些摩擦的夫妻而已
When we finished, I came to live on your couch!
而结束的时候 我就睡在你家沙发上了!
God bless couples counseling!
上帝保佑伴侣关系咨♥询♥!
That better not be one of my pudding cups.
别跟我说这是我的布丁杯
Nope.
不是
Hi, Charlie. Come on in.
嗨 查理 进来吧
Shouldn't we wait for Chelsea?
不等切尔西了?
She's already here.
她已经来了
Really? That seems a little ambushy.
已经来了? 我怎么感觉像中了埋伏?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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