好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E17
Part 1
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:12 a.m.
I know you hate it when I review the game tapes, but that was one for the highlight reel.
我知道你不喜欢我重看那个录像 不过那是为了回顾经典
The highlight reel?
回顾经典?
Yeah, you know, "best of" moments for deathbed reflections.
对啊 在我临终的时候 能够回忆起一生最美好的时刻
Only in your memory, right?
只在回忆里 对吧?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
没错没错
I got rid of the camcorder like I promised.
我答应过的 我会删掉的
Good.
很好
It's a shame. The camera really loves you.
太可惜了 镜头可喜欢你了
Shut up, Charlie.
住嘴 查理
I'm not just saying that.
我没有乱说呀
Even from unflattering angles, you light up the screen.
即便是实拍 你也很上镜
Oh, I hate you.
你讨厌死了
That's too bad, 'cause I love you.
那太糟了 因为我爱死你了
Really?
真的?
actually, yes.
是真的
Yes, I do. love you, Chelsea.
真的 我爱你 切尔西
Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you.
太好了 谢谢
No, no, thank you.
不不 谢谢你了
Two and a Half Men Season06 Episode17
好汉两个半 第六季第17集
Morning.
早上好
Always got to make a comment, don't you?
总是要来评头论足一番?
Oh, my.
哦哟
Fitful night's sleep on Alcohol Island?
又阵发性宿醉症候群了?
Keept up, funny man.
继续幽默吧你
You're going to be homeless,
马上你就无家可归
wearing a tube top and turning tricks on Santa Monica Boulevard.
准备去圣塔莫尼卡大道 穿着小背心去当鸭子吧
What crawled in your keister and built a nest?
谁爬到你裤衩里筑巢了? (谁惹毛你了)
You want to know? You really want to know?
你真想知道? 你真的要知道?
I've fallen in love with Chelsea.
我爱上切尔西了
Well, why are you so upset? Love is a beautiful thing.
那你紧张什么? 爱情是美好的
Beautiful thing, my ass.
美好个屁啊
And we're back in your keister.
现在话题又回到你屁♥股♥上了
Last night, in bed, I told her I loved her.
昨晚 在床上 我告诉她我爱她
And you know what she said?
你知道她说了啥?
"I'm still not going to let you do that"?
"我不打算让你这么做"?
She said, "Thank you."
她说 "谢谢你"
Ooh, that's an ice cube to the man sack.
真是兜头一盆冷水啊
I don't get it.
我真是不明白
I've gonthe whole nine yards for this relationship.
我对这段感情尽心尽力了
I gave her her own drawer in my bedroom.
我在卧室给她准备了个抽屉
I stopped smoking cigars after sex.
做完爱后我也不抽烟了
I even started seeing a shrink so I can be more sensitive,
我还为了能够更心思敏感 去看了心理医生
and I still can't get a freaking "I love you."
还是得不到她说一句 我爱你
But you've obviously become more sensitive.
但是你的确是更敏感了
For what I've spent on therapy, I could get a couple of very expensive hookers
我花在心理治疗上的钱 能买♥♥到一堆高级鸡
who will say anything I want.
让她们说啥都行
There's that sensitivity again. Look at the bright side.
又触到你的敏感点了 你看看好的方面嘛
What's the bright side?
有哪些好的方面?
Well, when women do tell you they love you,
当有的女人跟你说她爱你的时候
it usually ends with them tossing a lit road flare through your bedroom window.
到最后 她从你卧室窗口丢了个火把进来
That happened one time.
那只发生了一次
Why can't you just be grateful for what you've got?
那你为什么不珍惜你已经拥有的呢?
What do I got?
我拥有什么了?
Oh, a woman who may not proclaim her love for you,
没错 她的确没有说她爱你
but who doesn't y to set you on fire while you're sleeping.
但是她也没有趁你睡着的时候 在你身上放火呀
One time.
那也只发生过一次
Okay. A woman who may not proclaim her love for you,
好吧 她没有对你说她爱你
but who doesn't steal your Mercedes while you're passed out in the backseat
她也没有在你昏睡在后座上时 偷了你的奔驰
and drive it into the Pacific Ocean.
还把它开进太平洋
Another isolated incident.
这也是个偶发事件
I believe I've made my point.
我已经表明我的态度了
I'm sorry, Alan.
抱歉 艾伦
But not being drowned or burned by the woman I love
但是没有被我爱的女人烧死或者淹死
is not enough for me.
对我来说还是不够的
I want more.
我想要更多
Oh, sure. Reach for the stars.
当然咯 去摘星揽月吧
Hey, Charlie, how's it going?
查理 怎么啦?
Boy, you really blew it this time.
伙计 你这次可玩出火了
Did I now? How so?
是吗? 怎么啦?
I've fallen in love with Chelsea.
我爱上切尔西了
Ooh, my bad.
哦 这是我的错
Damn right, your bad.
当然是你的错
There were plenty of medications that would've turned me into a happy little potato,
有那么多可以让我变得 像快乐的小土豆一样的药
but would you prescribe them? No!
但是你肯我开吗? 不!
You said I had to get in touch with my feelings and express them to the people I care about.
是你说我应该体会自己的感觉 向我在乎的人表达
Sorry, I must've been drunk.
不好意思 我当时肯定是醉了
No. No, it's too late for excuses.
不行 现在找借口太晚了
I'm sensing something happened with Chelsea.
我感觉得出来切尔西好像有心事
Oh, you're good. There's no sliding anything past you.
你真行啊 什么事都逃不过你的眼睛
Hey, last night I dreamt I was a giant hot dog jumping
昨天晚上我梦到自己是个大热狗
through a doughnut that looked like my mother.
从一个长得像我妈的甜甜圈里跳过去
What do you suppose that means?
你说这又意味什么?
All right, Charlie, you've made your point.
好吧 查理 你说得很清楚了
Now, tell me what happened.
现在 告诉我发生了什么
We can go back to the doughnut dream later.
过会再来讨论你的甜甜圈梦吧
It wasn't a real dream. I was being sarcastic.
不是真的梦 我只是讽刺你
Oh, I know, but thfact that you chose that particular imagery is a little troubling.
我知道 但是你选择这样的景象是不太正常的
Now, what happened wi Chelsea?
现在说说切尔西怎么啦?
I told her I loved her, and you know what she said?
我跟她说我爱她 你猜猜她说了什么?
This process isn't really about me guessing, Charlie.
这可不是猜的时候 有话快说 查理
She said, "Thank you."
她说 "谢谢"
Interesting. How did that make you feel?
有意思 你有什么感觉?
No, no, no, no, no! No more feelings. We tried it your way.
不 不 不 别再说感觉 你的方法我们试过了
Now, just take out your little prescription pad and start scribbling.
拿出你的药方簿 赶紧开药吧
You don't need medication, Charlie.
你不需要吃药 查理
You're actually making tremendous progress.
相反你有了很大的进步
Are you not listening to a thing I say?
你到底有没有在听我说话啊?
I drift in and out.
我断断续续听了点
Look, the fact that you're upset about this tells me you've come a long way from the guy
听着 你和我说困扰你的事让我感觉
who first walked into this office.
比起第一次来的时候 你已经改变很多了
The guy who first walk into this office was a happy-go-lucky,
第一次来找你的那个我 快乐似神仙
fully-functioning man whore and I want him back.
"性能"优越 现在的我和那些荡♥女♥都希望他回来
I'm guessing you don't mean that.
我猜你不是认真的
Oh, now you're guessing?
哦 你现在开始猜了?
A minute ago it was, "That's not how the process works."
一分钟前你才说"这个疗程不是这样的"
A minute ago, it didn't.
一分钟前确实不是
So are you still seeing Chelsea?
那你现在还是跟切尔西在一起?
Well, of course I'm still seeing her, but now the relationship's totally screwed.
我当然还跟她在一起 可这一切都不对了
Why is that?
怎么说?
She knows I love her.
她知道我爱她了
The whole balance of power is completely out of whack.
平衡之力被完全打破了
Okay, I really don't like it when you give me the "huh."
我真的不喜欢你这个"哈"
Now,ou're just screwing with me, right?
你在耍我吧 对不?
There's no sliding anything past you.
任何事都瞒不过你的
So let's talk about this whole balance of power issue of yours.
咱们来谈谈你所谓的平衡之力的问题吧
What about it?
怎么了?
Why do you look at relationships as a power struggle?
为啥你会把感情看作力量的斗争
'Cause that's what they are.
因为事实如此啊
Is that how you saw your parents' relationship, as a power struggle?
你就是这么看待你父母的婚姻吗? 像一场力量的斗争
Oh, there was no struggle.
噢 那不是斗争
My father sat very quietly while my mother sucked the life out of him.
我老爹是乖乖地坐在那里 让我老妈毁了他的一生
I see, and you're terrified of that happening to you.
我懂了 你是怕历史重演
No, I'm looking forward to it.
才不是咧 我很期待呢
In fact, I'm thinking about having a nozzle
事实上 我还想过在自己心脏上
attached to my heart to make the sucking more convenient.
开个洞让她毁得更方便一点呢
Let me ask you something.
那我问你
What would it take for you feel that things were back in balance with Chelsea?
切尔西应该怎么做才公平呢?
Simple. She has to tell me she loves me.
很简单 她对我说回"我爱你"就行了
Even if she doesn't feel it?
就算她其实不爱你?
It's even better if she doesn't feel it.
她不爱我更好
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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