好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E06
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:10 a.m.
Since Judith threw him out, he wants me to help him pick up women.
自从朱迪丝把他赶了出来 他就想让我帮他找女人
Wait. Backupbackupbackupbackup backupbackup!
等等 倒带倒带倒带!
Wait. Judith threw Herb out? When?
等等 朱迪丝把哈珀赶出来了? 什么时候的事?
I don't know. Apparently, about a week ago.
我不知道 大概一周前吧
Oh, my God. That's terrible.
天呐 太糟糕了
Judith must be devastated.
朱迪丝一定身心交瘁了
Alan. Yeah?
艾伦 嗯?
You got a little evil on your face.
你表情有点儿邪恶啊
Other side.
另一边
Oh, Judith, that's terrible.
朱迪丝 太糟糕了
You must be devastated.
你一定身心交瘁了
You must be devastated.
你一定身心交瘁了
What are you doing here?
你来干嘛?
Oh, I'm sorry to bother you.
很抱歉打扰你
Apparently, Jake left his Social Studies book, so here I am.
杰克把他的社科课本忘这儿了 我来取的
I think I saw it in the bathroom.
我想我在卫生间看到过
Why? Was he out of toilet paper?
怎么会? 他没厕纸用了吗?
Wouldn't it be great if he could learn that way?
他能那样学习不是也很好?
You know, assmosis.
拍马屁(擦屁♥股♥)
What? Nothing.
什么? 没什么
Is Herb around?
哈珀在吗?
Uh, no.
不在
Oh, too bad.
真不巧
Why?
怎么了?
No reason. I just enjoy seeing the big galoot.
没什么 我挺喜欢那个傻大个
Well, the galoot is not here.
傻大个没在家
Well, uh... tell him I said hi.
那好... 替我向他问声好
I will.
我会的
Herb moved out! Our marriage is over!
哈珀搬出去了! 我们的婚姻完蛋了!
Oh, Judith, that's terrible.
朱迪丝 太糟糕了
You must be devastated.
你一定身心交瘁了
What exactly do you have in mind?
你到底在想什么?
Give me your hand.
把手给我
Okay.
好的
Do I feel warm to you?
你觉得我热吗?
Dude!
伙计!
Aw, crap.
该死
So, uh, you fishing here or can I throw my bobber in the water?
你在这儿钓鱼呢 我能也把鱼饵扔下水不?
Bye.
拜拜
How'd you know I was here?
你怎么知道我在这儿?
Well, I tried calling, but your phone must be broken,
我打过电♥话♥ 但你的电♥话♥机肯定是坏了
so I went by your house and Jake said you went out.
所以我去了你家 杰克说你出来了
All I had to do was punch "liquor" into the ol' in-dash navigation system,
我只好在导航系统里输入"酒吧"
and three stops later, voila.
找了三个吧之后 瞧啊!
So, uh, they biting tonight?
今晚她们上钩了吗?
can we stop with the fish talk?
能不讲钓鱼那一套吗?
Believe me, it's not gonna lead anyplace good.
相信我 那可带不来什么好运
Back to the chickens?
还是拿鸡打比方?
If we must.
万不得已的话
I'll have what he's having.
他喝的什么 我就要什么
I'm having a tall Pain in the Ass.
我喝的是"大个"麻烦
Sounds good. Does it have rum in it?
听起来不错 里面有朗姆酒吗?
How did this happen?
怎么会这样?
How did I blow another marriage?
我怎么会把这次婚姻又搞砸了?
Oh, sweetie, you can't blame yourself.
亲爱的 你不能这么自责
Although you are the common denominator.
尽管每次都是你惹的事
Alan, I'm 40 years old.
艾伦 我都40了
How am I ever gonna start over again?
我怎么能再重头来过?
I know, I know. And soon you're gonna be 41.
我知道 而且很快你就41了
Do you have any idea what it's like to try and date when all the men your age
你明白那种感觉吗 我努力去约会
are only interested in 25-year-old hard bodies?
但所有同龄的男人都只对25岁 皮肤紧致的小妞感兴趣?
Well, you can't blame us.
你不能怪我们
Of course, you can't compete hard body to hard body,
当然 不能跟皮肤紧致的小妞 比皮肤嘛
but you're still a very desirable woman.
但你还是个尤物
You think so?
你真这么想?
Well, of course I do.
我当然这么想
For your age, you're a very...
就你的年龄来说 你是个非常...
Hey, Charlie, I've got a question for you.
嘿 查理 我有个问题要问你
Yeah.
问吧
The hotel I'm staying in has pay-per-view adult movies.
我住的旅馆里有按次计费的成♥人♥电♥影♥
Whatever happened to pubic hair?
阴毛都哪儿去了?
Gone the way of the dodo bird, my friend.
你这就太落伍了 朋友
I mean, I can understand with the ladies, but what's the deal with the fellas?
我能理解女人剃 但男人剃了干嘛?
It's like with an ugly house. A little shrubbery helps the curb appeal.
就好比一座难看的房♥子 弄点灌木林能为篱笆增色
I don't have an answer for you, Herb.
我真没法回答 哈珀
What about you? Do you trim the old hedges?
你呢? 你修整那些老篱笆吗?
Yeah. They're shaped like Disney characters.
修剪得跟迪斯尼卡♥通♥人物的一样光
Two more vodka tonics.
再来两杯伏特加奎宁水
Cock-a-doodle-do.
喔喔
Hello. Hello.
你好 你好
Allow me to introduce myself. Dr. Herbert Melnick.
请允许我自我介绍一下 我是哈珀ert 梅尔尼克医生
Ooh, a doctor.
是个医生
Dr. Charlie Harper.
我是查理 哈珀医生
Wow, two doctors.
两个医生
Maybe we should let them examine us.
或许该让他们给我们来个体♥检♥
In the interest of full disclosure,
本着开诚布公的原则
I should let you know that I'm new to the dating world
我该让你们知道 我是个约会新手
and still have all my original pubic hair.
我的阴毛还都没剃呢
Oh, Alan, why did I ever let you go?
艾伦 我怎么就让你走了呢?
Well, if I recall, it was something about me sucking the life out of you.
我回忆下 大概就是 因为我把你的生活榨干了
I was wrong. I was so wrong.
我错了 我大错特错了
You are a good man and I'm never gonna let you go again.
你是个好男人 我决不再让你走了
Never?
决不?
Never.
决不
Never ever?
永远都不?
Morning. Morning.
早上好 早上好
What was Herb doing here?
哈珀在这儿干嘛?
Oh, he, uh...
呃...
He shaved his pubes and passed out in your room.
他把阴毛剃了 在你房♥间睡了一夜
You might want to change the blade in your razor.
你该换下你剃须刀的刀片吧
Thank you.
谢谢
Where were you all night?
你整晚都去哪儿了?
I was in Never Ever Land.
去了永不之地
do I want to know?
我会想知道这事吗?
I took away the staple gun, but he found the superglue.
我把射钉枪拿走了 但他找到万能胶了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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