好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E22
Part 1
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:12 a.m.
Oh,come on,Chelsea.
别啊 切尔西
Is this about money?
是因为钱么?
'Cause I'd be happy to pay the lease on your apartment.
我愿意替你付房♥租
It's not about money,you ass.
才不是因为钱 你个混♥蛋♥
I just think it's ridiculous that we're engaged and not living together.
我就是觉得咱俩都订婚了 还不住一起 这太扯淡了
Well,excuse me for being old-fashioned, I'm just not comfortable with us living in sin.
原谅我这么老古董 我只是觉得咱们不该未婚同居
So you think we should stop having sex?
你是说咱们得停止嘿♥咻♥?
No,no,no,it's not the sin I object to, it's the living in it.
不 我反对的不是嘿♥咻♥ 而是同居
Charlie,there is no reason for me
查理 我每天晚上都住这
to renew the lease on my apartment when I'm here every night.
哪还有继续交那边房♥租的道理啊?
And I love having you here every night...
我也很愿意你每晚都在这...
You going to eat your pickle?
你还吃你的泡菜不?
Yes,I'm going to eat my pickle.
吃啊 我当然要吃我的泡菜
But you're almost done with your sandwich, and your pickle's just sitting there.
可是你的三明治都快吃完了 泡菜还没动过
I like to eat it last.
我就喜欢最后吃泡菜
How very European of you.
你的吃法还真欧式啊
Here's another pickle. Shut up.
再给你一块泡菜 闭嘴别吱声
Oh,you are just so full of it!
你真是个混♥蛋♥!
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't be living here.
给我一个不该搬来的理由
I can give you several.
我能说出好多个
This ought to be good.
这应该不错
Go ahead.
说啊
Oh,you mean right now? Dance,monkey,dance.
你现在就要听啊? 好戏上演咯
Okay. Well,there's the safety issue.
好吧 是因为安全上的考虑
You should keep your apartment for the same reason that airplanes are equipped with oxygen masks,
之所以要留着你的房♥子 就如同飞机上要有氧气面罩
and cruise ships have life rafts.
游轮上要有救生艇
You know,if theTitanic had enough life rafts,
要是泰坦尼克号♥上有足够的救生艇
Leonardo and Kate would've lived happily ever after.
莱昂纳多和凯特就能幸福地生活在一起了
Oops.
完蛋鸟
You're comparing our relationship to theTitanic?
你用泰坦尼克号♥来比喻咱俩的感情?
Rope-a-dope,rope-a-dope.
疲劳战术 疲劳战术
No,no,no, of course not.
不是 不是 不是 当然不是啦
But P.S.,that was a very romantic movie.
再插一句 泰坦尼克号♥真是一部 很浪漫的电影
Thanks for making me watch it again.
感谢你又让我看了一回
He's still swinging. The kid's got heart.
他还在周♥旋♥ 这小子长脑子了
Where are you going?
你要去哪?
Home! See?
回家 你看你看!
You just proved my point.
你正好证明了我的观点
Where would you go right now if you didn't have your own apartment?
你要是没自己的住处 现在能上哪去?
I suppose you all enjoyed listening to that.
你们都听得很爽吧
Beg pardon? I enjoyed it.
什么啊? 我挺爽的
Two and a Half Men Season06 Episode22
好汉两个半 第六季第22集
Can't sleep,huh?
睡不着是吧?
No.
嗯
This Chelsea-moving-in thing is really bugging me.
切尔西要搬来这事 搞得我烦死了
Why are you up?
你怎么也起来了?
Well,I realized you were out here drinking yourself into a miserable stupor over this whole situation and...
我觉得你在这儿边想心事 边灌酒 直到不省人事...
I just want to be a part of that.
我就想来掺合一下
Thanks.
谢谢
I hate to say it, but I think Chelsea might be right.
我也不想这么说 但是切尔西可能是对的
You don't hate to say it.
你才不是不想
Oh,did I say I hate to say it?
我说了我不想这么说?
I meant I can't wait to say it.
我的意思是我等不及要说
But I did admire how you ferociously
不过我还是很钦佩你为一场毫无胜算 的战斗
defended an unwinnable position
用无比彪悍的手段抗争...
by comparing your relationship to theTitanic.
用泰坦尼克号♥来比喻你们的感情
That was beautiful.
这个太棒了
Oh,come on, who remembers the names of boats that don't sink?
少来了 谁会记住没沉的船的名字?
Sure,sure. I couldn't give you
对啊 除了兴登堡号♥( 因火灾毁于1937)
a zeppelin other than theHindenburg.
我还真说不出别的齐柏林飞艇的名字
Still,it was not your finest moment.
反正这招使得不太好啊
There was a time it would've worked.
以前也挺管用的啊
Yeah,back when you were dating silicone simpletons.
对啊 那是在你和那些硅胶胸 呆瓜脑的女人约会的时代
Unfortunately,Chelsea is too smart for your crap.
不幸的是 切尔西是聪明人 你糊弄不了的
Yeah.
对啊
And there's not an ounce of silicone in those babies.
她那对"宝贝"里 可一点硅胶都没有
Shoot. I owe Berta five bucks.
该死 我欠贝塔五块钱
Uh,b-but more to the point, why are you so afraid to have her move in?
不过更主要的问题是 你为什么害怕她搬来呢?
I'm not afraid of her moving in,that's easy.
她搬来我不担心 搬来容易...
Moving her out's the bitch.
搬出去难 难于上青天啊
So,you're already assuming you're going to break up?
你已经料到你们以后要掰?
Oh,come on, what evidence is there to suggest that it'll end any other way?
你少来了 有什么证据能证明会以别的结局收场?
Well,I think she's capable of a long-term commitment.
我觉得她是当老婆的料
And you,you could... change.
至于你 你可以... 改变嘛
You don't believe that.
你自己都不信
No,I was just trying to be supportive.
嗯 我只是想支持你一下
Well,you're not doing a very good job.
你这支持可真够烂的
I'm not trying very hard.
我又没太用心
Let me ask you a question.
我问你个问题
What did you think was gonna happen when you and Chelsea got married?
你觉得和切尔西结婚之后 会什么样子呢?
Honestly,I never thought that far ahead.
实话给你说吧 我还从没想过那么远
I figured we could stretch the engagement thing out for a couple of years, and by then,who knows.
我觉得可以把订婚状态拖上几年 之后的事情鬼才知道
Maybe I'd die, maybe she'd get fat.
也许我死掉了 也许她发胖了
Well,kudos to you for not bringing that up in the argument.
幸亏你跟她争执的时候没提这话
It wasn't easy.
可不容易啊
You know what you have to do,don't you?
你知道该怎么做吧?
I don'thaveto do anything,Alan.
我可没义务做任何事 艾伦
If not living together is a deal breaker,
要是不住在一起会破坏关系
then she's free to break off the engagement and go on her merry way.
那她就尽管撕毁婚约 继续寻找她的幸福生活去吧
She most certainly is.
她肯定会那么做
So you know what you have to do.
其实你是知道该怎么做的
Yes,I know what I have to do.
是啊 我知道我该做什么
Are you done torturing me?
你折磨够我了没有?
Yeah,almost.
快了
I'm the king of the world!
我是世界之王! (莱昂纳多在泰坦尼克号♥中的经典台词)
Okay,now I'm done.
好了 这下够了
Here.
给你
What's this?
什么啊?
Alan's house key.
艾伦的家门钥匙
Why?
干嘛?
'Cause I want you to move in, and I didn't have time to make a new one.
因为我想让你搬来住 又没有时间去再配把新的
Plus,he kind of pissed me off last night.
还有 他昨晚把我惹恼了
You want me to move in? Yes.
你想让我搬去住? 是啊
I thought about it, and you were right.
我考虑过了 你是对的
Which is not to say I was wrong, but,uh...
并不是说我就错了 不过...
Okay,I was wrong.
好吧 我错了
You're sure you want me to move in?
你决定了? 让我搬去住?
Absolutely not.
当然没有
But I figure what the hell.
可是我又一想 管他呢
I mean,it's gonna happen sooner or later,right?
迟早的事嘛 是吧?
Oh,shut up.
行了 闭嘴吧
Come on in,I'll make some coffee.
进来吧 我煮点咖啡
What's all this?
这都是什么啊?
Let's just say I had faith in you.
这么说吧 我对你有信心
Those go upstairs in the master bedroom.
那些放在楼上主卧室
Careful, they're fragile.
小心点 都是易碎品
Okay,you and me need to talk.
好了 咱们要谈谈
I know. I know. You didn't sign up for this.
我明白 合同上没包括这些服务
You work for me,not for her,
你是为我服务的 而不是她
and it's bad enough you have to put up with Zippy and the chimp.
要照顾那窝囊废和泥猴已经够烦的了
No. I like her better than you,so from now on I'm working for her.
不 比起你 我更加喜欢她 所以从现在起我为她服务
What?
啥?
You need something,you ask her, she talks to me,we decide.
你需要什么就跟她说 她再跟我说 然后我们再决定
I don't get a vote?
我连投票权都没了?
Yeah,you get a vote. One vote out of three.
当然有 你有三分之一票
Good luck with that.
祝你好运咯
Oh,boy.
老天呐
You like it?
喜欢吗?
Oh,boy!
老天呐!
Don't the colors just liven the place up?
这颜色让房♥间充满生气吧?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表