好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E06
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:10 a.m.
Hey, Alan.
嘿 艾伦
Oh, hey, Herb.
嘿 哈珀
Judith asked me to drop this stuff off for Jake.
朱迪丝叫我把这些东西拿过来给杰克
Oh, let me help you. Thanks.
噢 我来帮你拿 谢谢
So, what have you two lovebirds got planned for the next few months?
你们两口子这几个月打算去哪儿玩呀?
Second honeymoon?
再度一次蜜月?
No, not exactly.
不 不是这样的
Hard to believe you're coming up on your second anniversary.
真不敢相信你们现在就开始 庆祝第二个结婚纪念日了
Yep. Hard to believe.
是呀 真不敢相信
Two years.
都两年了
Time flies when you're having fun, eh?
快乐的时光总是过得那么快哈?
I wouldn't know.
我可说不好
Hey, Herb.
嘿 哈珀
Hey, Charlie.
嘿 查理
You ask him about his marriage going down the crapper?
你有没有幸灾乐祸问人家婚姻问题呀?
I was easing into it.
我拐着弯儿在问呢
So was I.
我也是嘛
What's the problem, Herb?
啥问题呢 哈珀?
Is it in the bedroom? It usually starts in the bedroom.
是房♥事不? 一般这种问题都是房♥事不和谐引起的
That's still my mother, you sick freak!
她是我亲娘呢 你个大变♥态♥!
We usually wait till he puts on headphones before we discuss these things.
每次我们都是等他戴上耳塞 才开始讨论这些的
Gee, Herb, something you should know about the headphones is...
神呀 哈珀 关于这个耳塞 你应该注意一下...
Don't spoil it.
不准说
So what's the deal? Is it sex?
到底咋回事儿呢? 是不是床上功夫问题呀?
No.
不是
Well, yeah, but... it's no big deal.
是啦 但是... 这只是小事嘛
I mean every marriage has an ebb and flow to it.
每段婚姻都有高♥潮♥ 低潮嘛
Of course. Sure. Sure.
当然 这个是自然啦
Right now Judith and I are kind of ebbing. A lot.
现在我和朱迪丝应该就是低潮 非常的低
Right.31
是了 31
I don't know what's happening, man.
我都不知道是咋滴啦 哥们儿
We can't seem to communicate anymore.
我们完全没有办法交流
She constantly finds fault with me.
她啥事儿都来怨我
I don't know what to do.
我都不知道咋闹了
I'll tell you what to do.
我来给你指点迷津
What my testicle-challenged brother should have done.
我这个软蛋弟弟早就该做的
As soon as she starts complaining, you put your foot down.
每次她抱怨你的时候 你就对她来硬的
Let her know who's in charge.
让她知道谁是当家的
And no matter what, do not let her use sex as a weapon.
无论如何 都不让她以性相要挟
You let her know that if she won't satisfy your needs,
你得让她知道 如果她不来满足你的需求
there's plenty of women out there who will.
大把女人排着队等着呢
Really?
真的?
Why would I lie?
我♥干♥嘛要骗你?
Women like Judith respond to strength
像朱迪丝这样的女人对那些力量型
and confidence, not...
自信型男性着迷 而不是...
well, that.
这种的
Oh, yomake a compelling case.
喔 你还真是强硬派
Damn right I do.
那当然
Now go claim what's yours.
你也去强你的硬吧
I believe I will. Thanks, Charlie.
我相信我会的 谢谢 查理
I'm here for you, big guy.
随时恭候 大个
Why did you do that?
你干嘛要这么做?
I get bored.
无聊呗
Why aren't you in school?
你干嘛不去上学?
I'm sick. Sick?
我生病了 病了?
Relax, I'm just faking to get out of a math test.
别紧张 我只是不想参加数学考试 装病而已
Oh, okay, good. You scared me.
很好 你吓着我了
What's with the staple gun?
拿射钉枪干嘛?
Oh, the sole's coming off my shoe.
我的鞋底掉了
You might want to take it off first.
你该把鞋先脱下来
Good call.
好主意
Morning.
早上好
It's none of my business, but that's one kid who can't afford to miss a single day of school.
本来不关我的事 但那孩子可是一天学都逃不起的
Yeah, like school's gonna make a difference.
就好像去上学能起多大作用似的
Crap!
该死!
I stapled my fingers together.
我把手指钉到一起了
You got a point.
你说的有道理
Come on, honey. Blow.
来吧 宝贝儿 擤一个
What's he got?
他得了什么病?
A cold, I think.
我想是感冒吧
Then why didn't you leave him at home?
那你干嘛不把他留在家里?
That way, we all don't have to get sick.
那样的话 我们都不会被传染了
And that's why you should always
正是因此 你才该去找个
take your shoes to a fully qualified, professional cobbler.
资深职业鞋匠来修鞋 注"cobbler修鞋匠也有脆皮派的意思
You know what's good? Apple cobbler.
知道哪种好吃吗? 苹果脆皮派
What's the damage, doc?
伤得厉害么 医生?
Will he play the violin again?
他还能再拉小提琴吗?
He'll be fine.
他没事的
You might wanna keep him away from staple guns.
你得让他离射钉枪远点儿
Right.
好的
Also nail guns, glue guns, pretty much anything with "gun" in it.
还有打钉枪 喷胶枪 差不多所有带"枪"的东西
Got it. Thanks, Herb.
知道了 谢谢 哈珀
Hey, Charlie, could I talk for you a sec?
嘿 查理 能跟你聊一会儿吗?
Why don't you go wait for me in the car? Gimme the keys.
去车里等我吧 给我车钥匙
I'm not giving you the keys.
我才不给你车钥匙
Then how am I gonna wait in the car?
那我怎么在车里等你?
I don't have sunscreen on. I'm very fair-skinned.
我没涂防晒霜 我皮肤很白的
Then wait under the car.
那在车底下等
What's up?
什么事?
Well, remember that advice you gave me about how to handle Judith?
记得你跟我建议过的 该怎么对付朱迪丝吗?
Oh, gee, Herb, that wasn't so much advice as, you know, social satire.
哎呀 哈珀 我的建议 不像讽刺小说那么有建设性
Well, it worked out great.
但是很管用
Really? She bought that king-of-the-castle crap?
真的? 她真吃"山寨大王"那一套?
No, no, she kicked my ass out.
不是 她把我赶出来了
But the thing is, talking with you and seeing how you live,
但实际上 跟你聊天 看着你的生活方式
I'm convinced I'm better off single.
我觉得自己还是单身的好
Is that so?
是吗?
Oh, yeah. I mean, why chew on one chicken wing when you can eat from the whole bucket?
既然有一整桶鸡翅可吃 干嘛老啃着一块不放?
Just so there's no confusion.
以防混淆 我问一句
Chicken wings are...
鸡翅是指...
Women, Charlie. I was offering up a metaphor.
女人 查理 我在打比方
And you went with wings rather than breasts and thighs.
你用了翅膀做比 不用胸和大腿
Ooh, that is better.
是哦 这种比方更好
Anyway, I was thinking maybe you and I can go out sometime and get a party pack.
总之 我想或许你跟我 能找个时间出去搞个全家桶
Sex with strange women. I'm extending the metaphor.
跟陌生女人上♥床♥ 我沿用了之前的比方
Of course. Sure, let's do that sometime.
当然好 找个时间去吧
Thanks again for sewing up the kid.
多谢给孩子缝针
So, uh, what color do you like?
你喜欢什么颜色的?
Excuse me?
什么?
Oh, I-I was thinking Asian, but I'll take the green.
我本来想说黄种人 还是要绿色的吧
Hey, Dad.
嗨 老爸
How are you feeling?
感觉怎么样?
Fine.
挺好
Throat's not sore anymore?
嗓子不疼了?
Oh, yeah, a little.
哦 对 还有点儿
What happened to your fingers?
你的手指怎么了?
Oh, I stapled 'em together.
我把它们钉到一起了
Hey, hey, we do not leave our shoes on the...
嘿 不能把鞋子放在...
What the hell?
搞什么鬼?
We need to get rid of the staple gun.
我们得把射钉枪扔了
Alan, staple guns don't staple shoes to coffee tables.
艾伦 射钉枪不会把鞋子钉到咖啡桌上
Idiots do.
傻瓜才会
Why are you taking your temperature?
你干嘛要量体温?
I think some little snot locker gave me smallpox.
我觉得有个鼻涕虫把天花传染给我了
Oh, man, leave me alone.
伙计 别烦我了
Is that Mom? You think maybe I might want to talk to her?
是老妈么? 你不觉得 我有可能想跟她说话?
Do you?
你想吗?
Of course not. It's the principle.
当然不想 原则问题
Well, that wasn't Mom. It was Herb.
不是老妈打的 是哈珀
Why is Herb calling?
哈珀干嘛打电♥话♥来?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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