好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E20
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:12 a.m.
From an English-speaking dentist.
说英语的牙医给弄的 臭美啥
Hey, Jake, I need a favor.
杰克 帮个忙
Sorry, I can't say bad things about Grandma.
抱歉 我不能说奶奶坏话
Okay, what did she buy you?
是吗 她给你买♥♥啥了?
A new guitar? Minibike?
一把新吉他? 微型摩托车?
Pizza.
批萨
You sold me out for a pizza?
你为了份批萨就把我卖♥♥了?
Not just a pizza. A meat-lover's pizza.
可不是一般批萨 是纯肉批萨
** M is for the misery she caused me
*M代表她带给我的苦难(Misery)
** O is for the other things she did
*O是她干的其它事(Other things)
** T is for the traitor who's my brother
*T就是我那叛徒(Traitor)兄弟
** H is for the...hump who is his kid
*H是他那驼背(Hump)儿子
No, it's true. They can bleach anything these days.
不 真的 现在啥都能漂白
Really? It's gotta burn like hell.
是吗? 那穿上还不烧死了
Oh, like a lit cigar.
跟穿根点着的雪茄似的
But it's worth . Curb appeal isn't just for the front door.
但也值了 人靠衣装马靠鞍嘛
** E is for extremely frightening girl talk.
*E是极度(Extremely)吓人的女生对话
Hey, honey.
嗨 宝贝
How was shopping?
购物愉快吗?
Mom, pick up any new souls?
妈 又买♥♥着新的灵魂了?
Charlie, that's uncalled for.
查理 别无理取闹
It's okay, Chelsea. He can't help himself.
没事 切尔西 他控制不了自己
Yes, he can.
不 他能控制的了
There's no excuse for speaking to your mother that way.
不管你有什么借口 都不能那么跟你母亲说话
You don't know that.
你是不知道(我有的是借口)
Evelyn, thank you for a wonderful day.
伊夫琳 多谢今天陪我逛街
The pleasure was mine. It's nice to be appreciated for a change.
没事 今天我也过得很愉快
Are we on for yoga tomorrow? Can't wait.
说定了明天一起练瑜伽? 等不急了
Oh, and of course, you and Charlie are coming for dinner on Saturday.
对了 你和查理周六过来吃晚饭
We wouldn't miss it. Um, uh, actually...
肯定过去 实际上...
Chels, we have plans on Saturday, remember?
切尔西 我们周六已经有安排了 你忘了?
What plans?
什么安排?
Oh, for God's sake, can't you just play along?
天老爷啊 你就不能配合我一下?
We'll be there. Wonderful. Tata.
我们会去的 好极了 谢谢
Are you proud of yourself? Not really. I lost that one.
高兴了吧? 没呀 还是没躲过去
** R is for the rifle in my mouth
*R是塞进我嘴里的机♥枪♥(Rifle)
** Put them all together, they spell "mother"
*合在一起就念作"MOTHER"(妈)
* A word that's only half of how I feel.
*只是表达我此刻心情的两字之一* (他是想骂"妈的")
Hello, I am Alan Cousteau.
你好 我是艾伦 库斯托 (艾伦在模仿电影"海底水世界"的情节)
I left the Calypso at...0500 hours,
于凌晨5点离开卡吕普索号♥
and have descended to a depth of 60 fathoms.
已潜到水下110米
And yet my Rolex is keeping perfect time.
我的劳力士仍然运转良好
Oh, ok, there goes a giant squid.
看啊 一只巨大的乌贼游了过去
Alan?
艾伦?
Yes?
啥事?
What are you doing?
你干啥呢?
I got no good answer.
我编不出来啥好理由
It's Saturday night,
现在是周六晚上
and I'm all alone.
我却独自一人 (美国人周六晚上习惯出去玩或聚会)
Do you know where Charlie is?
你知道查理去哪了吗?
We're supposed to be at your mother's at 7:00.
我们应该7点就到你妈妈家
Oh, you are cutting it close.
是吗 马上就要7点了
Have you seen him?
你看见他没?
Uh, not for a couple of hours. Have you tried his cell?
有好几个小时没见他了 打他手♥机♥了吗?
I did. There's no answer. I'm getting worried.
打过了 没人接 我有点担心了
Chelsea, I'm home.
切尔西 我回来了
Thank goodness.
谢天谢地
I return to the deep.
重返深海
Where have you been?
你去哪了?
Picking up a little surprise for you. Come on in.
给你带来个小惊喜 进来吧
Mom?
老妈?
Hello, sweetie.
你好 宝贝
Ooh, feels like you gave up on the Jenny Craig, huh?
看来你有一阵没吃减肥药了 (Jenny Craig:美国一减肥药品牌)
What are you doing here?
你干啥来了?
I flew her in from Illinois.
我带她从伊利诺伊州坐飞机过来的
First class. Very swanky.
头等舱 特豪华
Of course, I had some rich Jew lawyer chewing my ear off the whole way.
还有个有钱的犹太律师 在我耳边唠叨了一路
Tell her about the food.
跟她说说飞机上的吃的
Oh, the food was terrific, but the flight attendant was a colored homo.
食物特棒 但那空姐是个黑人女同
I'm glad they make 'em pick up the dinner rolls with tongs 'cause I can't risk the AIDS.
还好他们得按规定用夹子取食物 我可害怕染上艾滋
I hope you didn't fill up.
希望你没吃得太饱
We're going to my mom's for dinner.
我们还要一起去我妈那吃晚饭
Oh, how nice.
太热情了
Now be honest with me, Charlie.
跟我说实话 查理
You're sdark and handsome,
你肤色这么健康 长得又这么帅
you gotta have some dago in ya, right?
你肯定有拉丁血统 是不?
God, I love your mom.
老天 我爱死你妈妈了
That was the worst dinner of my life.
这是我这辈子吃过最糟的一顿晚饭
Really? I thought the two moms hit it off.
是吗? 我看那两个老妈挺合得来的
Kinda country mouse, city mouse.
有点乡下老鼠和城里老鼠的意思 (一个英语童话故事)
I especially liked the partrt when country mouse kicked off her shoes,
尤其是这段 乡下老鼠把鞋脱了
put her big yellow bunions
把她那长着拇趾囊肿的大黄脚
on city mouse's mahogany coffee table
放到城里老鼠那桃木咖啡桌上
and asked her how she liked having a commie A-rab for a president.
然后问她要是找个 阿♥拉♥伯共♥产♥党当总统会怎样
You've made your point, Charlie.
查理 这招算你狠
Point? Whatever do you mean?
什么招? 你说啥呢?
You leave my mother alone, and I'll leave yours alone.
你别再去招惹我妈 我也再不去找你妈了
Well, gosh, I don't know.
这还真不好说
I've really taken a shine to your mom.
我和你妈倒是挺来电
She promised to teach me how to chew tobacco and burn a cross.
她答应要教我怎么嚼烟叶 怎么给十字架放把火
Do we have a deal or not?
你到底同意不?
Deal. Come here.
同意 过来
I'm not in the mood.
我可没那心情
All right, but don't be rubbing up against me in the middle of the night.
好吧 你半夜可别来摸我
Don't worry. I won't. Good night.
放心吧 我才不会 晚安
Good night.
晚安
All right, I was bluffing.
好吧 我刚才是装样子的
Feel free to rub.
随便来摸吧
Ruyourself.
摸你自己吧
Chels? What?
切尔西? 干啥?
Can you watch me so it's not weird?
你能看着我不?感觉就没那么怪了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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