好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E01
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:09 a.m.
That's for Chuck.
这是给查克的
I got you an eyeglass repair kit and some malted milk balls.
我给你买♥♥了一套眼镜修理工具 和一些麦芽牛奶球
Thanks.
谢谢
I know it's not much of a gift,
我知道这算不上什么礼物
but the guy that usually sells roses at the freeway on-ramp,
但高速公路口的那个售货员之前卖♥♥玫瑰
well, he switched to oranges, and I didn't know if you liked oranges.
现在改卖♥♥橘子了 我又不知道你是不是喜欢橘子
So anyway, is Chuck my kid?
少说废话 查克是我的骨肉吗?
What difference does it make?
是又怎么样?
Well, it makes all the difference in the world.
是的话 关系可大了
How?
怎么会?
Well, for starters, I'm gonna write a scathing letter to
首先 我得写一封批评信给
a certain manufacturer of latex products.
那家橡胶制品公♥司♥(也就是套套啦)
But more importantly, if I'm his dad, he should know.
但是更重要的是 如果我是他的父亲 他应该知道
He's already got a dad.
他已经有一个父亲了
Oh, really? Yes.
噢 真的? 是的
We may not live together anymore and he may not have your kind of money,
我们也许不在一起了 他也没你那么有钱
but he's a good dad, and he loves Chuck very much.
但是他是一个好父亲 他也很爱查克
So you're just raising him on your own?
那么你决定独自抚养他成人了?
Charlie, you don't have to worry about him.
查理 你没必要担心他
He's gotten along just fine without you for the last eight years and so have I.
8年来他没有你 也一样过得好好的 我也是
But wait, Chrissy!
但是 等等 克丽茜!
I didn't know!
我当时不知道!
Boy, you miss one health class.
天呀 这就是没去上生理卫生课的结果
So, Jake, how do you like high school?
对了 杰克 上初中的感觉怎么样?
I'm in eight grade.
我在上八年级
I see.
知道了
When do you start high school?
那你啥时候上高中啊?
Hard to say. Eighth grade is really kicking my ass.
难说 八年级的课对我来说已经很难了
Jake, language.
杰克 不准说脏话 (language这里指"措辞")
Yeah, language, math, science, history, phys ed.
是呀 语文 数学 科学 历史 体育 (笨杰克把language理解为其 另外一个意思"语言")
I understand, dear.
我明白你的苦衷 亲爱的
I can't even find my locker.
我都找不到我的储物箱
All right, I talked to her. You owe me five bucks.
呐呐 我跟她聊过天了 你欠我五块钱
He's a good wiper, and I love him.
他很会擦屁♥股♥呢 我很爱他
Hey, Alan, I just spoke... aw, geez.
嘿 艾伦 我刚跟... 噢 偶滴神呀
Good to see you, too, dear.
我也很高兴看见你 亲爱的
What's going on, Mom?
有什么事吗 老妈?
Nothing.
没事
I merely stop in to see my two sons and my one and only grandchild.
我只是顺道来看看我的两个儿子 和我唯一的孙子
Well, it's...
其实...
So, Mom, you're looking good.
老妈 你看上去气色不错
Did you have something snipped or tucked or sucked?
你身上是剪了 塞了还是吸了?
Just eyes and tush. But nice of you to notice.
就整了眼睛和犬牙 很高兴你注意到了
Hey, Charlie, did you ever find out if that kid is yours?
嘿 查理 你搞清楚那个小孩 是不是你的了没?
Thanks a lot, Berta.
来的真是时候 贝塔
Oh, dear, have I spoken out of turn?
噢 神呀 我是不是说错话了?
Kid?
孩子?
Yeah, well, it-it-it turns out that there are flaws in every manufacturing process
事实就是 所有产品生产过程中 总会有一点小瑕疵
and that includes your everyday latex products.
也包括每天都用到的橡胶产品
I see. And how far along is the young lady?
我明白了 那个小妞怀了几个月?
Oh, about eight years.
噢 八年多了
Eight years and she's just suing you now?
八年了 她现在才来起诉你?
She's not suing me.
她没去起诉我
She doesn't want to have anything to do with me.
她根本就不想理我
Lucky you.
你真走运
If I were her, I'd have owned half this house
如果我是她 验孕棒没干之前
before the pee stick dried.
我就拿到这间屋子一半的所有权了
Yeah, real lucky.
真是走运
I got an eight-year-old son and I'll never get to spend any time with him.
我有了一个八岁的小孩 却从来没跟他在一起过
Oh, sweetheart, look, take it from me.
哦 亲爱的 听着 相信我
Spending time with one's children is greatly overrated.
跟孩子们一起玩绝对 没想象中的那么好玩
Oh, come on, face facts.
噢 别这样 面对现实吧
Some people are meant to be parents and some people aren't.
有些人注定是好父母 有些就不行
And you have a perfect example of that sitting right in front of you.
你面前就有一个活生生的例子
You certainly do.
那当然了 (老妈这个动作是在暗指艾伦)
Yeah, well, I think I'd be a great dad.
好啦 我觉得我会是个好爸爸的
Well, easy for you to say now that you've dodged the bullet.
反正你现在当不了爸爸 当然站着说话不腰疼啦
You're right, talk is cheap.
你说的对 说说当然简单
Remind me to speak to him about putting this house in my name
记得提醒我说服他 把这个房♥子划归我的名下
so it can never fall into the hands of some money-hungry, manipulative bitch.
免得它落入某些贪得无厌 耍手段的臭女人手中
That isn't related to him.
那个儿子不一定是他的
What do you want now, Charlie?
你现在又想干嘛 查理?
Look, I can see why you might not think of me as father material.
听着 我能明白你为什么觉得 我不是当父亲的料
And clearly you've done a great job raising Chuck on your own.
很显然你独自抚养查克也很好
I'd just like, if you'd let me, to help out a little bit.
我只是想 如果你允许我来帮你们一点
This is more than a little bit.
这可不是一点点
Hey, eight years is a long time.
嘿 八年可是很长的
What do you want out of this?
你给我钱 你想要怎么样?
I just want to know that he's taken care of.
我只是想知道他有人关心
And I plan on sending you a check every month.
我准备每个月都给你寄张支票
I-I don't know what to say.
我不知道怎么说才好
You don't have to worry about me interfering.
你不必担心我会介入你们的生活
Although, there's a couple of things you should know for when he gets older.
虽然等他长大了 你应该注意一些方面
Like what?
比如?
Well, you're gonna want to lock the liquor cabinet...
比如你应该给酒橱上锁...
But don't forget that mouthwash can also pack a pretty good buzz.
但是别忘记了漱口水也能畅饮
So be on guard for suspiciously minty breath.
所以小心看好可疑的薄荷口气清新剂
Oh, and if his school nurse is at all attractive,
噢 如果他学校的护士很靓的话
you can expect the occasional hernia.
他就会偶尔得个疝气什么的
Thanks for the heads up.
多谢提醒
You're welcome.
不客气
So, uh,...
那么,...
Good luck.
一切顺利
You're gonna need it.
你要一切顺利才好 (查克会捣蛋)
Jeremy, your mom's here.
杰里米 你老妈来了
Hey, Mom. Hi, honey.
嘿 妈妈 嗨 亲爱的
Hey, where'd you get that shirt?
嘿 你这么穿成这样?
Oh, I got it for him. I hope that's okay.
哦 我给他买♥♥的 希望你别介意
I love it.
我很喜欢
He looks like a little ladies' man.
他看起来很招女孩子喜欢
So, uh, is this time next week okay for you?
那么 下星期这个时候你还方便的吧?
Actually, I think my babysitting days are behind me.
事实上 我觉得我再也不用做保姆了
Ciao.
再见
w2m really glad you're accepting responsibility, Charlie.
你有负责感了我真高兴 查理
Thank you.
谢谢表扬
You'll see. It's a great feeling knowing you're...
你会知道 照顾自己的孩子...
you're taking care of your own kid.
感觉是相当好
Oh, hey, Mr. Harper.
哦 嘿 哈珀先生好
Hey, Clive, how's it going? Great.
嘿 克莱夫 怎么样了? 我很好
All right, Mrs. Melnick, that should hold you for a while.
好了 梅尔尼克女士 这样一来你可以再坚持一阵子了
Hey, dude. Hey, dude.
嘿 伙计 嘿 伙计
Thanks, Clive, you're the best.
谢啦 克莱夫 你干得真棒
Come on in, honey. Thanks, Alan.
进来吧 亲爱的 谢谢你 艾伦
Bye, buddy.
再见 孩子
Who was that guy?
那个家伙是谁?
Oh, that's Clive, the exterminator.
哦 那个是克莱夫 杀虫公♥司♥的
He's been coming here forever.
他总来的
Hey, Alan, has it ever occurred to you...
嘿 艾伦 你有没有想过...
Hey, Mr. Harper.
嘿 哈珀先生
Hey, Craig.
嘿 克雷格
Has what ever occurred to me?
我没想过什么?
Nothing.
没事
Hey, Mr. H. Long time no see.
嘿 H.朗 先生 好久不见
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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