好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E21
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:12 a.m.
Why didn't you say something?
你就不能说点什么?
Why didn't you say something? I was following your lead.
你为什么不说? 我在跟着你的步调走啊
What lead? The minute I saw her,I practically peed my pants.
什么步调? 我一见到她差点没尿了裤子
Well then,I did follow your lead.
这么说 我还真跟上你的步调了
So-So what are we going to do now?
那-那接下来咱们咋办?
I don't know. I guess we play along.
我哪知道 只好走一步看一步了
Play along? Are you serious?
走一步看一步? 你没开玩笑吧?
What am I supposed to do,Alan? Tell the truth?
那我要怎么办?说实话吗?
"Oh Chelsea,I almost forgot,
"唉呀 切尔西 我差点忘了
your new BFF and I had a one-night stand"
你的新朋友和我有过一♥夜♥情♥"
"and when I dumped her,
"还有 我甩了她之后
she superglued my nutsack to my thigh and started stalking me."
她把我的蛋蛋粘到了我大腿上 还跟踪我"
"Oh,and then I thought maybe I was in love with her"
"噢 还有 我一时觉得我可能爱上她了
"and followed her to England.
追她到了英国"
And then when she came back from England,"
"还有 她从英国回来的时候
I thought I was dying and almost asked her to marry me."
我还以为我要死了 差点向她求婚"
Yeah,when you put it in story form,it really does sound bad.
嗯 你把这事当故事来讲 确实听起来很惨的
So,we play along until I can find out what Rose's angle is.
所以 咱们只好走一步看一步 直到弄清罗丝的目的为止
So,what,I'm supposed to date her?
那怎么 难道你要我和她约会不成?
Stop flattering yourself. This isn't about you. It's me she's interested in.
少自做多情了 这有你什么事 她感兴趣的是我
What are you saying,I'm not good enough for her?
你什么意思 难道我还配不上她?
What are you saying,you want that looney tune as a girlfriend?
你这怎么说话呢 你不会是想要这疯婆娘当女友吧?
No! But I am currently unattached.
当然不是! 只不过目前我还在空窗期
Now,you listen to me,this is a blind date that goes no further.
你给我听好了 这次相亲已经没有下文了
You understand? I got it.
明白没? 我明白了
She really likes him.
她真挺喜欢他的
Swell.
好极了
I thought there was real chemistry between them.
我觉得他们之间真有化学反应了诶
I'm sure they have some meds in common.
我只知道他们有吃同一种药
But I wouldn't get your hopes up.
不过 你不要抱太大的希望
Why not?
怎么了?
She's not his type.
她不是他那喜欢那型的
What do you mean? She's pretty,smart,rich...
这话什么意思? 她漂亮 聪明 又有钱...
Okay,then,he's not her type.
那好吧 他不是她喜欢那型
This is crazy.
这太疯狂了
I know.
谁说不是呢
We just met.
咱们才刚认识
Oh no,no,no,you idiot.
噢 不会吧 不会吧 你这头猪
Morning,Charlie. Morning.
早上好 查理 早上好
Should've smothered him in the crib when I had the chance.
早知道就应该在摇篮里把他闷死
Boy,take one day off for a poker tournament and you miss a whole lot around here.
天啊 就离开一天去参加扑克比赛 就完全跟不上进度了
You said you were sick.
你不是说你病了吗?
I was healed. It's a miracle.
又好了 真是奇迹
You want to catch me up?
你不和我说说来龙去脉?
Chelsea set Alan up on a blind date with a girl she met at yoga class.
切尔西安排艾伦和一个她在瑜加课上 碰到的姑娘约会
Well,what's he doing with Rose?
嗯 那他和罗丝在干嘛?
She's the girl.
她就是那个姑娘
Diabolical.
还真是撞邪了
So Chelsea doesn't know...
那切尔西就不知道...
Chelsea knows nothing and I want to keep it that way.
切尔西不知道 我也不想让她知道
Okay.
好吧
Why is Alan playing along?
那怎么艾伦还单枪匹马地上了?
Because Alan is a horny idiot.
因为他欲求不满呗
And horny idiots are perfectly willing to have sex with crazy girls.
欲求不满的人当然愿意 和疯颠的女人上♥床♥
Yeah,I know. But I've grown.
是 我也有过 不过我早不那样了
Charlie,did you see?
查理 你看到没?
Yeah,I saw.
是啊 看到了
Told you they'd hit it off. Didn't I tell you?
早和你说他们合得来 我说过吧?
You told me.
你说过
I'm a little worried they're moving so fast.
不过他们进展如此之快 还真让人有点担心
Yeah,that's the worrisome part.
没错 这是最让人担心的地方
Berta,have you met Rose yet?
贝塔 你还不认识罗丝呢吧?
Screw it,I'm going home.
爱咋咋的吧 我回家了
Feel better!
早日康复!
Cut it out! Stop it.
别这样 住手
Hello.
嗨
Sit down.
坐这
Um,you know I have company.
呃 我这还有人呢
Yes,I know you have company,now,sit down!
我知道你那里边有人 快给我过来坐下!
Okay.
好吧
'Sup?
有什么事吗?
Explain it to me,Alan. Help me understand.
解释给我听听 艾伦 让我也明白明白
You mean Rose?
你是指罗丝?
No,I mean the internal combustion engine! Yes,Rose!
不是 我是指内燃机 废话 不是她是谁!
Uh,well,we,uh,we started talking on the ride home
呃 那好 昨晚我们在回来的路上
last night,and we really hit it off.
好好的谈了谈 我们真的挺合得来的
e has changed,Charlie.
她已经变了 查理
Changed?
变了?
She was stalking my fiance.
她在跟踪我未婚妻呢
Ah,ah,well,actually,she explained all that.
呃 那个 事实上 她也解释过那事
Really? What did she say?
是吗? 她说什么?
Uh,well,um...
嗯 那个 呃...
Okay,I don't remember all the details 'cause she was tweaking my nipples at the time.
好了 我哪记得那么些个细节 她当时正在拧我咪♥咪♥呢
hi,Charlie.
嗨 查理
All right,Rose,what are you up to?
得了 罗丝 你到是在打什么主意?
What do you mean?
你什么意思?
I'm telling you right now,
我现在就和你说清楚
I love Chelsea and if you mess things up with us,I will never forgive you.
我爱切尔西 要是你把我们搅黄了 我永远也不会原谅你
What did I ever do to deserve that?
我做了什么你要这么对我?
You're kidding,right? Yeah.
你在开玩笑 是不? 是的
So,once again,what are you up to?
好 我再问一次 你在打什么主意?
Okay,at first,I was just doing a lile light recon on Chelsea
好吧 一开始我只是小小的调查了一下切尔西
to make sure you weren't dating a whack job.
以确保你不是在跟什么脑残约会
You thought Chelsea might be...
你觉得切尔西是...
Go on.
请继续
Well,good news,she's not.
好消息是 她不是
She's got a cousin who's a truck stop hooker and her mom's an honorary Kleagle in the Ku Klux Klan,
她有个做妓♥女♥的表妹 她母亲是三K党的荣誉会员
but Chelsea is clean as a whistle.
但切尔西是清白的
Kleagle?
三K党的高级人员?
According to Wikipedia
根据维♥基♥百♥科♥的说法
it's below Grand Dragon and above Exalted Cyclops.
是"大黑龙"和"独眼巨人"间的一个职位 (3k党中的职务)
Sure,whatever. What's the deal with the lunch lady here?
好吧 管它呢 那这个娘娘腔算怎么回事?
Alan? Well,that was Chelsea's idea,not mine.
你是说艾伦? 呃 这是切尔西的主意 不是我的
I tried to get out of it. Really?
我已经尽量推了 真的吗?
I'm sorry,sweetie,but I thought a double date with Charlie
对不起 亲爱的 我觉得跟查理
and his fiance might be a little awkward.
还有他的未婚妻来个四人约会是有点尴尬
A little awkward?
有点尴尬?
When I saw you sitting there,my sphincter slammed shut so quickly,
看到你坐在那边 我的肛♥门♥都开始收缩了
you could've used it as a cigar cutter!
都能用来切雪茄了!
Yeah,you should've seen your face.
确实 你是不知道你当时脸有多臭
Anyway,it all worked out for the best.
不管怎样 现在大家都很好啊
Last night,I saw a side of your brother that I've never seen before.
昨晚 我发现了你弟弟不为人知的一面
What side? He's only got the two.
哪一面? 他一共也才两面
Oh,no,here he comes
"噢 不 他来了"(正面)
and "Oh good,he's leaving."
还有 "哦 太好了 他终于要走了"(背面)
Look,Charlie,this has nothing to do with you and Chelsea.
听着 查理 这件事和你 还有切尔西都没关系
This has nothing to do with you and Rose.
你和罗丝什么事都没有
The fact is,we really like each other and we want to keep seeing each other.
其实是 我们都很喜欢对方 而且想要在一起
And we'd really like your blessing.
而且如果你能祝福我们的话 我们会很高兴的
So,you actually want to be with him?
那 你真的愿意和他在一起?
I do.
我愿意
And you believe she's got no ulterior motive whatsoever?
而你也愿意相信她不是别有用心?
I do.
我愿意
Fine. I now pronounce you fruit basket and nutcase.
好吧 现在我宣布你俩成为阿呆和阿瓜
May God have mercy on yousouls.
愿主保佑你们
Uh,I don't think that was really a blessing,Rose.
呃 我觉得那不是真正的祝福 罗丝
It doesn't matter.
没关系
So what are we doing this afternoon?
那我们下午干什么呢?
Oh,uh,gee,I gotta pick up Jake.
哦 对了 我得去接杰克
Um,I promised him I'd take him to the movies. You know,a little father-son time.
呃 我答应带他去看电影的 亲子互动时间
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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