好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E18
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:12 a.m.
Come out and eat your kibble.
出来吃你的猫粮吧
Son of a bitch!
靠!
I'm pretty sure if you just put the food out, he'll find it and eat it when he's hungry.
把食物放在外面就行了 它饿的时候会自己来吃的
Really?You'd think if he was that smart,
真的吗? 如果它有那么聪明的话
he'd just crap in the toilet instead of a litter box.
直接在马桶里便便就好了 还用什么猫砂盆啊
Oh,uh,did you change the litter yet?
你换猫砂了吗?
No. I was actually gonna offer you $20 to do it.
还没 你去换吧 我给你20块钱怎么样
I'll take it. Deal...
行啊 成交...
I would have done it for ten.
给我10块钱我就干
I would have given you a thousand.
我还想给你1千块呢
Big cat.
真是只大猫
You know what I just realized, Alan?
你知道我刚意识到什么了吗 艾伦?
Cough syrup and hard liquor don't mix?
咳嗽糖浆和烈酒不能混在一起喝?
No,they're delightful.
没有 混在一起很美妙
I'm thinking that sooner or later, Chelsea's gonna want to move in with me.
我在想切尔西迟早会想搬来跟我住
Yeah,if you marry her, that's a chance you take.
是啊 如果你娶了她的话 就有这个可能
And she's probably gonna want to bring Sir Craps-a-lot.
她很可能也把便便多爵士带过来
You never know.
这可不一定
He might want to get his own place.
它也许想要自己的地盘
I'm guessing he will before you will.
我猜它会在你之前有这个想法的
Oh,Lord.
噢 主啊
This cat's been eating more than kibble.
这只猫吃的可不只是猫粮
This turd's got feathers.
粪便里还有羽毛
You know,there's a real chance that someday, without any kind of warning whatsoever,
很有可能某天在毫无征兆的情况下
Chelsea will up and decide to get sick again.
切尔西起床后就又生病了
And we're on the air with codeine
那我们又会生活在弥漫着可待因
and bourbon. Go ahead,caller.
和波旁酒的空气中 不错啊 哥们
I'm just saying,I don't think I can go through it again.
我想说的是 再来这么一次我可受不了
I'm not cut out to be a caregiver.
我可不想成为一个整天操心的人
Well,you might not think so, but you're doing it.
你可能不是这么想的 但你正是这么做的
I mean,you,Charlie Harper, are unselfishly taking care of the woman you love.
我是说 你 查理 哈珀 正在无私地照顾你所爱的女人
Maybe so,but...
也许是这样 可是...
it's getting harder and harder to love her.
爱她越来越难了
You don't mean that.
你肯定不是这个意思
Oh,Alan, if you'd seen and heard the things I have
噢 艾伦 如果你在最近24小时内
in the last 24 hours,
看到和听到我所经历的一切
it'd turn you gayer than a French horn.
你会变得比同志更同
Excuse me, but I have witnessed childbirth.
不好意思 我可是亲眼目睹了 我儿子的出生
I saw my son's enormous head poke out of what used to be one of my very favorite places.
我看见我儿子的大脑袋 从我曾经最喜爱的地方伸出来
Thanks for the image.
感谢生动的描绘
I'll never be able to watch the kid pull on a sweater again.
我再也看不得小孩穿毛衣的过程了
Trust me.If you hang in there and show Chelsea
相信我 如果你坚持一下 让切尔西看到
that you'll stick by her even when she's not at her best,
即使在她不是光彩照人的时候 你仍然守在她的身边
she will love you more deeply and intensely than you ever could have imagined.
她会爱你爱得更深 其浓烈的程度将超乎你的想象
And you know this how?
你是怎么知道这个的?
How else? Chick flicks.
还能怎么知道的? 看小女生电影呗
This is not a kitty cat.
这可不是一只小猫
This is a mountain lion.
这是一头美洲狮啊
Look.
看
You need some more orange juice?
再来点橙汁吗?
No,thank you.
不用了 谢谢
It was so nice of you to bring some up without me even asking.
你真是太好了 给我送喝的上来 我还没开口要呢
Don't tell Charlie.
可别告诉查理
It's taken a long time to train him not to expect anything from me.
我花了很长时间训练他 不能指望我为他做什么
Yeah.
好的
He really is crazy about you,you know.
知道吗 他真的很喜欢你
You think?
是吗?
Are you kidding?
别开玩笑了
Charlie doesn't go near sick women.
查理从来不接近有病的女人
I mean,physically sick.
我是指身体上有病
Around here, one sneeze will get you cab fare and a complimentary travel mug.
而现在 你一个喷嚏就能得到 打车费和赠送的旅行杯
I have noticed he's trying very hard.
我注意到他非常努力地照顾我
Just rember, when it comes to nurturing,
你要记得 当需要查理照料别人的时候
Charlie's like a dog playing the piano.
他就像是一只弹钢琴的小狗
You can't fault him if he hits a few bum notes.
如果他弹错了音符 你不能责怪他
You just got to applaud the effort and hope he doesn't whiz all over the keys.
你需要称赞他付出的努力 并希望他不会乱弹一气
I understand.
明白
Thanks,Berta.
谢谢你 贝塔
Just so we're clear, this ain't no hotel.
我们刚才可是说好了 这里不是酒店
You need more towels, you get 'em yourself.
要是需要更多毛巾 你自己去弄
Sorry about that.
很抱歉
You really can't expect much from her.
你实在不能指望她做什么
I won't.
我不会指望的
Here. I got you clean clothes and underwear.
看 我给你拿来了干净的衣服和内衣
The cat's fed, and the litter box is turd free.
猫也喂了 猫砂盆也清理干净了
Thank you,Charlie. You have been so wonderful through all of this.
谢谢你 查理 你真是太好了
I have,haven't I?
我是很好啊 不是吗?
I just want you to know I am definitely gonna make it up to you.
我只是想让你知道 我一定会好好补偿你的
Chelsea,to be honest, that's the only thing that's kept me going.
切尔西 老实说 这是让我支撑下来的唯一指望
Uh-oh,what?
怎么了?
Oh,Charlie,I'm so sorry.
噢 查理 实在是对不起
No,no,it's okay.
不 不 没关系
At least it's not wicker.
至少那不是用柳条编的
Excuse me a sec.
失陪一会
Okay,I am going to go to the pharmacy and get your medicine.
我准备去药店给你买♥♥点药
If you get it from Russell, count the pills.
如果是从拉塞尔那里买♥♥的 要数一下药丸的数量
Will do. Hope you feel better.
好的 希望你感觉好一点
Thanks.
谢谢
Charlie,you don't mind Sir Lancelot being here,do you?
查理 你不会介意 兰斯洛特爵士在这的 是吧?
No,not at all. I love cats. Good.
一点都不介意 我喜欢猫咪 太好了
Don't scratch the door, Sir Lancelot!
别抓门 兰斯洛特爵士!
Did you clean my litter box?
你清理我的猫砂盆了吗?
Oh,come on. I've been sick.
噢 得了 我生病了
Fine. I'll just use your facilities.
行 那我用你的卫生间
Not in the tub this time,okay?
这次别拉在浴盆里 好吗?
Your house,your rules.
你的房♥子 你说了算
I'm not gonna make it.
我实在不行了
Yes,you are.
你行的
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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