好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E09
Part 2
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:10 a.m.
Don't push it, Charlie.
见好就收吧 查理
Hey, Dad, would it be all right if Jake and I take a walk on the beach?
嘿 老爸 我能跟杰克一起去沙滩散散步吗?
Yeah, sure, why not?
当然可以 去吧
Thanks. See you later.
爸爸真好 再见
Isn't that nice?
多和谐的画面呀?
That boy touches my daughter, I'm going to be touching you.
如果他敢碰我女儿一根汗毛 我就要你好看
Understood.
明白
Can I use your bathroom?
我能用一下你家厕所不?
Here you go, Mr. Harper.
请用 哈珀先生
Oh, oh, thank you.
噢 噢 谢谢
cappuccino.
卡布奇诺
I wonder what they're serving at the domestic dealerships.
真想知道大众经销商都会 提供些什么吃的
They do take good care of you here.
这里的服务很周到吧
Of course, they ought to, considering what we paid for our cars.
当然了 这是应该的 我们毕竟花了这么多钱在车上
Oh, yeah. They are expensive.
喔 是呢 贵的要死
Is that your CL65 outside?
外面那个CL65是你的不?
yes, it is mine.
恩 是我的
How do you like it?
你觉得咋样呢?
What's not to like?
完美无缺
It does everything but trim your toenails.
除了不能修脚趾甲 它简直就是万能的
Or maybe it does and I just haven't found the button yet.
或许的确可以修脚趾甲 只是我还没找到那个按钮
Not that I need to trim my toenails.
不是说我非得去修脚趾甲
Did 'em last night. Over the tub.
昨天晚上就搞定了 在浴缸里
Clip, ping, clip, ping!
我剪 我剪 我剪剪剪!
Diane.
我叫Diane
Alan.
我叫艾伦
So you live around here, Alan?
你住在附近咯 艾伦?
Uh, no, I live down by the beach.
不是 我住在海边
Santa Monica?
圣莫妮卡?
Uh, Malibu.
是Malibu
Ooh, Malibu.
哦哟 Malibu
Yep. Malibu.
是的 Malibu
Yeah, uh, we just call it "the Boo."
我们一般都叫"the Boo" (Boo音同"胸部")
You know, like, "Hey, how are things down at the Boo?"
比如说 "嘿 在the Boo玩得开心不?"
Mr. Harper, your car is ready.
哈珀先生 你的车保养完毕了
Oh, uh, thank you. I'll, uh, I'll be right there.
噢 谢谢 我马上就过去
Well, uh, looks like I'm all done here.
好了 MS我不用再等下去了
Guess I'll, uh, head back to the Boo.
我就开车会the Boo了
Don't rub it in. They told me I'd be here all day.
别提了 他们说我得等整整一天呢
Oh, that's terrible.
真不幸
And I'm starving.
我都饿死了
Oh, well, they have the little croissants and the, uh, and the chocolate chip cookies.
这好办 这里不是有牛角面包 还有巧克力屑曲奇嘛
Or, uh, maybe I could take you out for a nice lunch.
要么 我可以带你去吃顿大餐
That would be lovely, Alan. Thank you.
太好了 艾伦 谢谢
Well, terrific. Let's go.
好极了 我们走吧
This never happened with the Volvo.
开沃尔沃就从来不会有艳遇
It's 5:00.
现在已经5点了
Thanks. I almost slept through happy hour.
多谢 我差点睡过了"快乐时间" (酒吧提供减价饮料的时间 常在傍晚左右)
Where's my little girl?
我女儿呢?
They're not back yet?
他们还没回来?
Why else would I be here?
要不然我♥干♥嘛来找你?
Honestly, I was thinking happy hour.
说实话 我还以为是为了"快乐时间"
Let me give Jake a call, see what's keeping 'em.
我给杰克打个电♥话♥ 看看他们怎么会玩这么晚
Yeah, you do that.
赶紧打
Did you try calling your daughter?
你给你女儿打过电♥话♥了吗?
She left her cell phone at the house.
她把手♥机♥落在家里了
Kids, huh?
孩子们真是的
It's ringing.
通了
Yo, bitch, I'm gonna slap you up
"臭娘们 我要好好跟你玩玩"
Yo, bitch, I'm gonna slap you up
"臭娘们 我要好好跟你玩玩"
Oh, that's unfortunate on so many levels.
真能添乱
This is just my pied--terre.
这是我的临时住所
I spend most of my time out at the beach house.
我大部分时候都在海边住
Looks like you haven't been here in a while.
看起来你好一阵子没来过了
Oh, just two weeks.
只是两周而已
Don't you have someone to come in to water your plants?
你没找人照料你的植物吗?
Oh, I do, but he's incredibly unreliable.
找了 但他实在太不可靠了
My brother.
我哥哥
A bit of a mooch.
差不多就是个流浪汉
So, now that we're here, what do you want to do?
既然我们都来这儿了 你想做点什么?
Ah, gee, I don't know, I...
哎呀 我不知道 我...
Oh, well, that's an option.
这也是种选择哈
Oh, excuse me.
抱歉
Alan Harper speaking.
我是艾伦 哈珀
I know who's speaking, you dill weed.
我知道你是谁 你个大草包
We've got a problem here.
我们有麻烦了
Oh, really?
是吗?
It's the mooch at the Boo.
是海边的那个流浪汉
So, uh, what's the problem?
什么事?
Not the wine cellar again, is it?
不会又是酒窖的事吧?
What are you talking aut, you gibbering moron?
说什么呢 你个语无伦次的白♥痴♥?
Good, good.
很好 很好
Listen to me, your idiot son's about to get me killed.
听我说 你的笨儿子快害死我了
Oh, so he's okay?
那他还好吗?
He's great. Probably having the time of his life.
他挺好的 可能正享受人生呢
I'm the one in trouble.
是我麻烦缠身
Uh, well, I-I-I trust you to take care of it.
我相信你能搞定
Thanks for the update.
多谢你的汇报
Take a bottle of Pinot for yourself.
给自己倒杯比诺葡萄酒吧
Alan?
艾伦?
My God, I thought there was an eclipse.
老天 我以为是日蚀了
Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom again.
抱歉 我得再去趟厕所
I knew it. You're married.
我就知道 你是结了婚的
Oh, oh, no-no-no. I'm not married.
不 不 不 我没结婚
This is, uh, this is just, uh...
这是... 这只是...
A silk evening gown.
一件丝质女式晚礼服
Actually, I think it's chiffon.
实际上 我觉得是雪纺绸
You men are all the same.
你们男人都一个德行
No, no, no, wait. Diane, Diane...
不 不 不 等等 Diane Diane...
You've got the wrong idea.
你误会了
There's something you don't know about me.
有些事你不了解
You're gay? No.
你是同性恋? 不是
You're a crossdresser? No.
你是异装癖? 不是
'Cause, you know, I could really get into that.
我很喜欢这个呢
Yes!
我是!
I'm a big, ol' cross-dresser.
我就是个异装癖
Sorry it took so long. I had a little accident.
抱歉用了这么久 发生了个小意外
Come on, you and me are going to go out and find those kids.
快点 我们去把孩子们找回来
Jerome, Jerome, hang on. What?
Jerome Jerome 等等 什么?
Still pretty nimble.
身手还是很敏捷
Let's sit down, take a deep breath, and talk this through for a minute.
我们坐下 做个深呼吸 好好谈一下
Come on, big fella. Please?
来吧 大个 拜托?
Make it quick.
速战速决
Okay, here's the deal.
事情是这样的
Jake is harmless.You don't have a thing to worry about,
杰克不会害人的 你没什么好担心的
unless your daughter's made out of doughnuts.
除非你女儿是甜甜圈做的
Which I'm assuming she's not.
我想她肯定不是
Look, Celeste is all I've got.
听着 Celeste是我的一切
You don't know what it's like being a single father.
你不明白单身父亲是什么状况
You're right. I don't.
你说得对 我不明白
But I do know what it's like to exploit women with daddy issues.
但我知道怎么钓有恋父情结的女人
What the hell are you talking about?
你到底在说什么?
Believe me, if you don't trust your daughter to make her own decisions,
相信我 如果你不能信任你女儿 让她自己做决定
if you try to control her life, she's just going to grow up to resent you.
如果你想控制她的生活 她只会怀着怨恨长大
And the next thing you know,
接着你就会发现
she'll be trying to punish you by going out with some weaselly little con artist like, well, me.
她在跟像我这样的小瘪三艺术家约会 就为了要惩罚你
And you can't kill us all.
而你也不能把我们这样的人都杀了
I can try.
我可以试下
Let me start again.
我还是重新开始说吧
Uh, uh, uh, are you sure this is what you want?
你确定这是你想要的?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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