好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E15
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:11 a.m.
Hi, sweetie.
嗨 亲爱的
You're late.
你迟到了
I know. I know. I'm sorry.
我知道 我知道 不好意思
But... I have a good excuse.
不过... 我是有苦衷的
Happy first day of counseling.
初次伴侣关系咨♥询♥快乐
You brought a present?
你买♥♥了礼物?
Yeah. Isn't that the protocol? No.
是啊 这不是惯例吗? 不是
So...
这么说...
you don't want this bottle of champagne?
你也不要香槟?
Bastard got me again.
那混♥蛋♥又耍我了
Well, why don't we get started.
不如我们开始吧
Hold on. Hold on.
等等 等等
Does the name "Mandu" ring any kind of a bell?
你听过"满都"这个名字吗?
What?
啥?
I'm gonna kill him.
我要杀了他
Well, why don't we start out with why we're here and what our goals are.
还是先讨论下你们的问题 以及解决的方法吧
Chelsea, would you like to go first?
切尔西 你想先来吗?
Sure.
那好
I want to know if my relationship with Charlie can be more than...
我想知道查理和我的关系 能否不局限在...
sex, TV, and Chinese food.
做♥爱♥ 看电视 还有中餐外卖♥♥里
It can. Right, Doc?
当然可以 是吧 医生?
Of course it can. Thank you.
那当然 谢谢
Well, this is good. This is progress.
就这样不错 这就是进步啊
I have to say this has been a very good session.
不得不说 这次咨♥询♥真的很好
Where do you think you're going?
你要去哪儿?
Nowhere.
哪儿也不去
Just... stretching my legs.
只不过想...活动一下腿
Charlie, before you got here, Chelsea mentioned that she feels you've fallen into a rut.
查理 在你来之前 切尔西告诉我你们的生活很枯燥
A rut? We're not in a rut.
枯燥? 我们很有激♥情♥的
When's the last time we did something new?
我们最近一次尝试新事物是几时?
Hello.
喂喂
Great... and what else?
很好...还有呢?
He's got nothing.
他没的说了
Excuse me,but if this is gonna work, you can't jump all over me while I'm thinking.
抱歉 但你要是想继续的话 就不要在我思考时埋怨我
I'm sorry. Go ahead.
不好意思 你继续
Thank you.
谢谢
I got nothing.
我没的说了
Okay,might I make a suggestion?
好吧 我提个建议好吗?
Would you be willing to commit to Chelsea that maybe once a week, twice a month,
你愿意答应切尔西 每星期一次 或半个月一次
you do something together completely outside your comfort zone?
跟她一起尝试些你不习惯的事吗?
Done. No problem.
好啊 没问题
So,we could go to the ballet, the opera, visit my parents,
那我们偶尔看看芭蕾舞剧 听听歌♥剧 探望下我父母
hang out with my brother, go hiking with my friends?
跟我兄弟一起玩玩 跟我朋友们远足行吗?
I was thinking more like renting a chick flick and ordering Italian.
我还以为只是租些言情片看 叫意大利菜吃就行了呢
This is hopeless.
这样没法儿下去了
No,no,no,no, there's hope. There's always hope. Keep hope alive.
不 不 不 有法子的 总有法子的 要满怀希望啊
I can do those things.
你说的我都能做到
Come. Sit.
来 坐
Charlie,has it ever occurred to you that you might
查理 你从没觉得自己可能
enjoy doing new things and meeting new people?
喜欢尝试新事物 认识新朋友吗?
I know I'm supposed to say yes,but...
我应该说"觉得" 不过...
every fiber of my body is screaming,"No!"
我全身每个细胞都在怒吼 "不觉得!"
All right,then I have to ask.
那好 我得问一下
Given that you and Chelsea are such different people,
鉴于你跟切尔西的分歧那么大
why do you want to be in this relationship?
为什么你还想要维持这段感情呢?
Well... 'Cause I'm crazy about her.
因为我为她而疯狂
'Cause,when I'm with somebody else, I'm thinking of her.
当我跟其他人在一起时 心里头想的都是她
Not that I've been with anybody else. Tell her,Doc.
不是说我真的跟别人在一起 帮我解释一下 医生
He passed up strange.
他都不理"陌生的"搭讪
See,that's got to mean something,
瞧 这总能说明什么吧
considering how I used to, you know,live for strange.
我以前基本上是以搭讪"陌生的"为生
First time in the sack, she was the strange.
我们第一次睡时 她就是个"陌生的"
Charlie,can I give you my opinion as your therapist?
查理 作为你的治疗师 我能给你个忠告吗?
Sure. Shut up.
当然 闭嘴
Oh,God,I wish I could.
老天 我也想啊
Chelsea,look. I know I'm not perfect.
切尔西 听着 我知道我不够完美
I'm sorry. That was probably unprofessional.
对不起 我这样不够专业
Anyway, you need to know that you mean everything to me,
总之 你要知道 你就是我的一切
and I'll do whatever it takes to make this work.
不管怎样我都会全力以赴 让我们继续下去的
You really mean that?
你说真的?
I do.
真的
Thank you,Charlie.
谢谢你 查理
Well,this has been very helpful.
这次咨♥询♥真的很有帮助
Sit down,Charlie. Sit down,Charlie.
给我坐下 查理 给我坐下 查理
We're not done?
还没完?
Not even close.
还差得远呢
Oh,boy. What else could we possibly have to talk about?
老天 还有什么可谈的?
Well,there's always your mother and the fact that your relationship issues
还有你母亲 你对你母亲的情绪
are linked to your anger towards her,
与你的感情问题之间的联♥系♥
as well as fear of your latent homosexuality.
还有你对潜在同性恋倾向的恐惧之类的
It was kind of a rhetorical question.
我说的那是反问句
Charlie? Yeah.
查理? 啥事?
How was couples counseling?
伴侣关系咨♥询♥怎么样了?
You really want to know?
真想知道?
Sure. Tell me everything.
当然 把所有细节都告诉我吧
Why? Why would you do that?
为什么? 你为什么要这样对我?
You know,I've been asking myself the same thing,
我也问过自己同样的问题
and the only thing I can come up with is: it's really,really funny.
得出的唯一结论是 真的是太有趣了
Go ahead. Yuk it up.
笑吧 继续笑吧
Those were among the worst 50 minutes of my entire life.
那是我人生中最痛苦的50分钟
I told you. Didn't I tell you?
我告诉过你的 不记得了吗?
Yep. You told me.
没错 你告诉过我
I bet you left with your gonads in a guppy bag.
我敢说你走的时候 生殖腺都是装在Guppy包里的吧
I didn't get a bag.
没有什么包
Going back next week?
下个星期还去吗?
$180 an hour?
每小时180块? 240块
Licensed.
找了个有执照的
You two kids will patch things up in no time.
你们小两口很快就会没事的了
Hey,just because counseling didn't help your relationships doesn't mean it won't help mine.
伴侣关系咨♥询♥对你没用 不代表对我没帮助
Right,right. Keep drinking that old Kool-Aid.
好好 继续喝你的"酷爱"饮料吧 (继续去寻求所谓的帮助吧)
Looking for something?
在找啥呢?
Don't screw with me,kid.
别惹我 小子
Now,hand over the pudding or you'll be sorry.
现在把布丁给我 不然我会让你后悔的
Have an apple.
吃个苹果吧
Little turd called my bluff.
这小子敢不信我的话
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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