好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E23
Part 1
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:13 a.m.
And how are you this morning, Danny?
你昨晚睡得怎么样啊 丹尼?
Well, I didn't sleep very well last night, Alan.
我昨晚睡得不是很好 艾伦
I had nightmares.
我做恶梦了
Nightmares.
恶梦
Nightmares.
恶梦
I dreamed I ate a five-pound marshmallow.
我梦到我吃了个五磅重的棉花糖
A five-pound marshmallow?
五磅重的棉花糖?
Yeah, and when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
嗯 我醒来的时候 发现枕头不见了
Pillow was gone. Pillow.
枕头不见了 枕头...
T-Tillow. Pil... tillow.
准... 准头 怎... 怎头
Alan? Yeah?
艾伦? 啊?
You're starting to scare the crap out of me.
你这样会把我吓傻的
Oh, oh, this? This is, uh, just a new hobby.
这个? 这是我的新爱好
Charlie, say hello to Danny O'Day.
查理 来跟丹尼 O'Day打个招呼
Howdy-do, Charlie.
你好啊 查理
That's not a hobby. That's a cry for help.
这才不是爱好 这是在求救
Oh, come on, Charlie, play along.
别啊 查理 配合一下嘛
So, Charlie, how did you sleep last night?
查理 你昨晚睡得怎么样啊?
With a woman, Alan.
有妞陪 艾伦
Something you need to do before this gets out of hand.
你也该找个妞 别在这拿着木偶发神经
He's got a stick where I've got your hand.
他那个地方有JJ 而我那儿有你的手
Did you ask him if he wants to go to the movies with us?
你问过没有 他想不想和我们一块去看电影?
No. Why not?
没问 为什么不问?
Because he's a ticking time bomb
因为他就是个定时炸♥弹♥ 爆♥炸♥的时候
and we don't want to be in the car with him when he goes off.
我们才不要和他一块待在车里
Come on, he's breaking my heart.
别啊 我都怪替他伤心的
Staying home all alone on a Friday night.
周五晚上孤身一人待在家里
Don't worry.
别担心
You know how they say you can be alone but not lonely?
他们不是说人可以在孤身一人的时候 而不感到孤独吗?
Yeah.
对啊
Well, Alan's kind of the opposite.
艾伦是个反例
He's always lonely but he's never alone.
他总是很孤独 但从来没有孤身一人过
He's going through a tough time.
他现在正在艰难时期
Your brother should be surrounded by friends and family.
你弟弟应当有家人和朋友陪着
My brother should be surrounded by a SWAT team.
我弟弟该被特警队陪伴着 (指艾伦该被警♥察♥抓起来)
Please? For me?
求你了 就当是为我
Chelsea, we agreed that you only get one of those a month.
切尔西 咱说好的 每月仅此一次
Are you sure you want to waste it on Alan?
你真要把机会浪费在艾伦身上?
Thanks for letting me tag along with you.
谢谢你们带我一起
This is really sweet.
太感动了
We're thrilled you could join us. Right, Charlie?
你能一起来我们也很开心 是吧 查理?
Yippee skippy.
灰常 开心
So have we picked a movie yet? Nope.
决定要看什么片了没有? 没
Would you like to see La Poubelle et le Fromage at the Nuart?
想不想去Nuart电影院看 "垃圾箱和乳酪的故事"(法语)
Would I?
我也能去?
Who you calling "wood eye"?
你们谁叫"木头眼睛"了?(与前句谐音)
Big ears.
我耳朵尖
Now, Danny, watch your mouth.
好了 丹尼 别太多嘴
Why? Yours is the one that's moving.
为什么啊? 是你在说话啊
Yippee skippy.
灰常 开心
Two and a Half Men Season06 Episode23
好汉两个半 第六季第23集
If she goes back to him after what he's done,
他干了这么多坏事 她要是 还重投他的怀抱
I will never forgive her.
我是不会原谅她的
She loves him.
她爱他
What choice does she have?
她有什么选择的余地啊?
Oh, she can return to her husband, the cheese maker.
她可以回去找他丈夫啊 那个乳酪匠
Listen, I'm going to hit the head.
我去下卫生间
Let me know if any kind of a plot ever kicks in.
剧情有什么进展一会告诉我
He's not coming back, is he?
他不回来了 是吧?
They sell beer in the lobby?
大厅里有卖♥♥啤酒的?
Yes. No.
有 不回来了
You're up early for a Saturday morning.
周六你还起个大早啊
Hence the cock-a-doodle-doo.
因为有公鸡打鸣呢嘛
Chelsea, it's 7:30. We got to get a move on.
切尔西 七点半了 咱得出发了
Oh, God, that's right. I forgot.
天呐 对噢 我给忘了
Give me a w minutes to get dressed.
等我一下 我去穿衣服
No problem. I'll wait for you downstairs.
没关系的 我在楼下等你
What's going on?
怎么回事啊?
Your brother and I are going to the farmers market.
我和你弟弟要去农贸市场
Since when?
打什么时候开始的啊?
We made plans last night.
我们昨晚说好的
Last night when?
昨晚什么时候啊?
In the movie theater, while you were sitting in the lobby drinking.
在电影院里 你在大厅喝酒的时候
Well, I wasn't going to go sit in the car with that scary dummy.
我总不能和那个恐怖的木偶 待在车上吧
I like mustard, and pickles,
我喜欢芥末 还有泡菜
and ketchup, and mayonnaise.
还有调味蕃茄酱 还有蛋黄酱
Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise.
蛋黄酱 蛋黄酱
You and me need to talk.
咱俩要谈谈
Howdy-do, Charlie.
你好啊 查理
Get that ugly thing out of my face.
把这个丑东西从我眼前拿走
That's what she said.
她也是这么说的 (暗指切尔西不想跟查理嘿♥咻♥)
Oh, Danny. Danny, you're horrible.
丹尼 丹尼 你太刻薄了
My hand to God, Alan, I will wrap that dummy with meat and throw him in the ocean.
我向老天发誓 我想把那个木偶裹上肉 扔到海里去
Don't forget the mayonnaise.
别忘了蛋黄酱
I'm okay.
我没事
Why are you taking Chelsea to that farmers thing?
为啥要带切尔西去什么农贸市场啊?
Is there a problem?
有问题吗?
Yeah, there's a problem! You're ruining my Saturday.
当然了 你在破坏我的周六
I'm sorry. Did you have plans for the day?
对不起 你今天有什么安排吗?
Damn right I had plans.
我他妈当然有计划
First, I was going to have sex with Chelsea. And then...
首先 和切尔西嘿♥咻♥ 然后...
Well, then I was going to go back to sleep.
然后我再睡个回笼觉
Well, you can still go back to sleep.
那你现在也可以回去睡啊
Yeah, but without sex, it's a restless sleep.
可不嘿♥咻♥的话 睡都睡不踏实
Fine, fine, I'll just go by myself.
好 好 我自己去好了
No, no, if you go without her now, then I'm the bad guy.
不行 要是你不带她去 我就成坏人了
So what do you want me to do?
那你要我怎么办?
In the future, I want you to try to be more sensitive and considerate to other people's needs.
我希望你以后能多为别人着想
Okay. Thank you.
好 谢谢你
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to
好了 不和你说了 我要去
join Chelsea in the shower and try to knock out a quick one.
和切尔西一块洗澡 再来个"闪电战"
Oh, Danny...
丹尼...
Sometimes he can be such a pig.
他有时候就是头猪
Well, you know what happens to pigs.
你知道猪的结局都是怎样
They get slaught...
会被宰...
Danny, don't say it. Don't even think it.
丹尼 不许说 想都不许想
...ered.
...掉
What are you looking at? Nothin'.
你看什么呢? 什么都没看
What are you doing here?
你在这干什么?
I thought you were spending the weekend with your mom and Herb.
你不是跟你妈和哈珀一起过周末吗?
Yeah, I was supposed to, but Mom's got all those pregnancy hormones going.
是啊 本该如此 可是我妈又犯她那孕期神经
What did you do?
你干了什么?
One little fat joke.
就开了个笑话胖子的小玩笑
Took it badly, eh?
她就发飙了?
Well, here I am.
对啊 所以我就来了
Where's Dad?
我爸呢?
He went out with Chelsea.
他和切尔西出去了
You mean like a date?
是约会那种?
No, no, not a date.
不 不 不是约会
Good, 'cause that'd be weird.
那就好 不然可就太诡异了
Yeah.
对啊
I saw something like that on Jerry Springer once.
我在杰里·斯普林格(一档电视节目) 上看到过类似的
Two brothers, one girl--it got ugly.
兄弟俩 一个妞... 太恶心了
I'm sure it did.
就是啊
So what's Dad's dummy doing here?
我老爸的木偶怎么在这里?
He pissed off his mother.
他把他妈给惹生气了
Hey, I did that, too.
我也是啊
Okay, please take this kettle corn away from me.
把这个爆米花拿走吧
I can feel it going right to my behind.
我都能感觉到它们马上就变成肉 长在我的屁♥股♥上了
Oh, stop it. I wish my tush was as small as yours.
得啦 真希望我的屁♥股♥能和你的一样小
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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