好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S06E03
Part 3
Nov. 18, 2020, 9:09 a.m.
Yeah.
对
You think I'm involved with another woman?
你觉得我和另一个女人鬼混
Yeah.
对
You actually think I'm seeing
你真的以为我在约会别的
Someone else at the same time I'm seeing you?
女人的时候也在约会你
Yeah. how did you know?
对 你怎么知道的
Do you need to get that?
你要接这个电♥话♥吗
Are you crazy?
你疯了吗
Hey, it's charlie.
嗨 查理家
Do your thing when you hear the beep.
听到吡声后请留言
Hey, uncle charlie, it's me, jakey.
嗨 查理叔叔 是我 杰克
I'm drunk. how are you?
我喝醉了 你怎么样
Are you with a girl? does she have big ones?
你是不是和姑娘在一起 她奶♥子♥够大吗
Jake, where are you?
杰克 你在哪
What mall?
哪个购物中心
They all have pretzel stands, you doofus.
每个购物中心都有自动饼干机的 你个笨蛋
Okay, you stay right where you are, and I'll come get you.
就在那别动 我去接你
We'll talk about that later.
我们一会再接着聊
They're big enough.
很大
I love you too, buddy.
我也爱你 伙计
Yeah, we have shared some good memories.
是啊 我们分享了美好的记忆
Okay, I'm hanging up now.
我挂电♥话♥了
Do you have to go?
你真的要走
No, we got time.
不 我们还有时间
What the heck took you so long?
什么事让你这么久才来
Believe me, I came as quickly as I could.
相信我 我已经是最快速度了
What is that?
那是什么
It's a pretzel. you want some?
脆饼干 你来一口吗
No, thanks.
不了 谢谢
It's got jalapenos!
还有墨西哥辣椒喔
Oh, you're gonna regret that.
你会后悔的哦
What do you mean?
啥意思
You'll see.
走着瞧吧
Where'd you get the booze, knucklehead?
你哪儿弄来的酒喝 傻蛋
I did what you told me to do.
就按你说的呗
Me and gabe gave money to a creepy guy to buy us beer.
我和盖比找了个挺猥琐的人帮着买♥♥的啤酒
Oh, jake.
杰克
His name was satellite jack.
他叫卫星·杰克
He said the government stole his kidneys.
他说政♥府♥偷了他的肾
Is $20 too much for a six-pack?
半打啤酒20块钱是不是多了
Not when a guy with no kidneys named satellite jack is buying it for you.
要找一个叫卫星·杰克的无肾人买♥♥就不多
Where'd you get the $20?
你哪儿弄的20块钱
It was a bribe from my father.
我爹给的封口费
You're kidding.
开什么玩笑
I know.
就是说
For a cheap guy, he can be surprisingly generous.
吝啬鬼突然大方起来挺吓人
That's true.
那倒是
Deep down I love him.
但内心深处我爱着他
And I love you, too.
我也爱着你
Great. everybody loves everybody.
得 人人爱人人
So, where's your friend?
对了 你朋友呢
Gabe? he ditched me when I started throwing up, the bat rastard.
盖比? 我一吐他就扔下我跑了 那个混♥蛋♥
Get out of the car. what?
下车 啊
I just had it detailed-- get out, get out, get out.
我知道没好事 出去出去
All right, but I'm tellin' ya I'm all done throwin' up.
出去就是 但是我不会再吐了
I see what you mean about those jalapenos.
怪不得你那么说墨西哥辣椒呢
Listen, my mom still thinks I'm studying at gabe's house,
我妈以为我还在盖比家做作业
So I don't think I should go home at this time.
所以现在回去不太好
What do you expect to do?
那你想干嘛
I don't know. you up for an r-rated movie?
没想好 一起看个三♥级♥片♥怎么样
Boobies, no violence.
要黄的 不要恐怖的
Step away from the car.
离车远点吐
Nope, false alarm.
错了 假警报
Wait for it.
等着
Wait for what?
等什么
Oh, how about that?
还真有啊
You get any on your shoes?
鞋子溅脏了吧
A little.
有点
There's a plastic bag in the trunk.
后备箱里有个塑料袋
Remove your shoes and place them in the bag,
把鞋脱了放袋子里
Then seal it and put it back in the trunk.
然后系好了放回后备箱
Okay.
明白
Then climb in after it.
然后你也进去
Okay.
收到
Alan?
艾伦
Surprise.
惊喜
I thought you were with your son go-karting.
你不是和儿子玩卡丁车去了吗
Yeah, listen, um, I lied about that.
这个 我之前撒了谎
But I can't lie anymore.
但我再也不撒谎了
I was with another woman, but all I could think about was you.
我和另一个女人在一起 但是我脑子里想的都是你
I'm a one-woman man and, baby, you're that woman.
我现在从一而终 宝贝 你是我的唯一
Who is it, honey?
宝贝 谁啊
Just a salesman. go away.
推销的 你走吧
Wait a minute-- are you seeing someone else? get lost!
等等 你劈腿 给我消失
I-i thought we had something special.
我以为咱俩挺来电的
Who's in there?!
里面哥们谁啊
Are you married?
你结婚了?
Because I really thought...
我真以为...
You know, your body's sending you a message.
你的身体在传达一个信息
Yeah, it's sayin' I really should chew my food more.
是啊 在说我真该多嚼嚼再咽
Look at that shrimp.
看这虾子
You could wash it off and serve it again.
洗一洗就能装盘子卖♥♥了
Your body is also telling you that alcohol is poison.
还传达了酒是毒药这个信息
If it's poison, why do you drink it?
如果是毒药 你又为什么喝呢
Because there are things inside of me I need to kill.
因为酒可解千愁
You can't kill bad feelings with alcohol, uncle charlie.
借酒浇愁愁更愁 查理叔叔
Right.
没错
And you can't stuff your emotions with cupcakes.
纸杯蛋糕吃多了更空虚
Believe me, I've tried.
信我没错 经验之谈
I'm sure you have.
这个我信
And if you ever need to talk about any of this stuff, I'm here for you.
要是想谈谈心解解愁 我做你的倾诉对象
Good to know.
你真好
Whoa, felt that one in my nuts.
鸡鸡也想吐
Hello? anybody home?
有人在家吗
Are you gonna rat me out?
你会出♥卖♥♥♥我吗
Jake, buddy, how could you even ask me that?
杰克 哥们 问这话多见外
Hey, what's goin' on?
嘿 什么情况
Jake took the 20 bucks you gave him and got drunk with a friend.
杰克花了你给的20块钱和朋友喝得烂醉
Bad boy.
坏小孩
So...
那么...
How 'bout a beer?
再来一杯?
never... again.
再也不喝了
Me neither.
再也不玩了
You know what the problem is?
知道问题出在哪儿吗
The women, the drinking...
女人和酒
You guys look at me and you think it's easy.
看我这样 你们就以为那么容易啊
But what you don't see is all the years of hard work and dedication
但你们无视了我多年来努力工作和无私奉献
It took to make me the happy-go-lucky, drunken, ass-wrangler I am today.
才换来如今的有酒喝有妞睡的幸福生活
Charlie?
查理
Oh, sorry, baby, I had a little family drama.
抱歉宝贝 有点家庭内部麻烦
Remember, you said if I gave you what you want,
记得吧 你说过的 我给你甜头
you'd give me what I want.
你也要给我
Oh, right-- breakfast in bed.
对头 床上早餐服务
How do you like your eggs?
鸡蛋怎么吃
Scrambled.
炒的
Yes!
耶
You know, young man,
知道吗 年轻人
If I hadn't have been electrocuted earlier this evening,
要是我今晚没被电击
You and I'd be having a serious talk right now.
我们现在正进行严肃而深刻的谈话
Yeah. hold on.
哦 等会儿
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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