政界小人物（1996）

Spin City S06E12

Part 2 June 30, 2021, 9:35 a.m.

不是啊我想我只是
No, I do, it's just that...
几周前我们过了一个非常浪漫的周末
A couple of weeks ago, we went away for a romantic weekend,
然后她说我爱你我貌似也这么回应了
and she said, I love you, and I kind of said it back.
那很棒啊 - 不一点都不
That's great. - No, it's not.
我通常不会和我爱的人发♥生♥关♥系♥
I'm not used to having sex with someone I love.
性可以是爱的一种美妙表达啊
Sex can be a beautiful expression of love.
我的"表达"可不美妙啊
Not the way I do it.
你和Michelle是我最好的两个朋友
You and Michelle are my two best friends.
我想让你们好你必须和她谈谈
I want this to work out. You gotta talk to her.
不谈谈根本不管用
No, talking never works.
我只能假意奉承然后和她上♥床♥
I'm just gonna have to suck it up and sleep with her...
即使她确实爱我
Even if she does love me.
好了大家听我说
All right, guys, listen up.
正如你们所料我一直在考核你们
As you may have noticed, I've been evaluating you all.
啥 - 真的假的啊
No. - Really?
我不信
I don't believe it.
考核可耻
Evaluations are so degrading.
你高坐在你的宝座
You sit on your mountaintop
决定赏给谁一丁点Charlie的面包渣
deciding who's going to get Charlie's little crumbs of praise.
我告诉你吧
Well, let me tell you something.
世界上我最不在乎的就是你的表扬
The last thing in the world I care about is your approval.
你表现挺好的 Paul
You did well, Paul.
Charlie喜欢我哦
Charlie likes me.
事实上大家都表现的不错
In fact, you all did well.
问题是有间办公室空出来了
The thing is, an office has just been vacated,
我要把它分给你们中的一个
and I was supposed to assign it to one of you.
就因为分个办公室 - 有啥大不了的啊
This is about an office? - What is the big deal?
我觉得我现在办公的地方挺好的
I'm perfectly happy where I am right now.
我就知道和你们好说话
I knew it would be easy to work it out with you guys.
那咱们一块儿去看一眼吧
Let's go take a look at it.
*哈利路亚*
*hallelujah*
太漂亮了瞧瞧这装潢
it's beautiful. What a view!
那些内嵌是桃花心木吗
Are those mahogany built-ins?
你说调酒桌后面那儿吗
You mean behind the wet bar?
这是我的了 - 不我想要
It's mine. - No, I want it.
为啥要给她
Why should she get it?
这扇门是干啥的
Where does this door go?
中头奖了
Jackpot!
公园散步还愉快吗
Enjoying your walk in the park?
Stuart Stuart
Stuart. Stuart.
咋啦
S'up?
你干啥呢啊
What the hell are you doing?
听班卓琴啊
I'm listening to some banjo music.
它能激励我
It motivates me.
干嘛在没牙的人群里像鸭子一样走
To what? Paddle away from people with no teeth?
这儿写着呢市政厅工作指南
It says right here, in the city hall manual,
"员工可以在办公室听音乐"
"Employees may listen to music in their office."
但是你没有办公室啊
But you don't have an office.
那我们该怎么办呢
What are we gonna do about that?
这儿写着我还能跳舞呢
It says I can dance, too.
Stuart 你太幼稚了
Stuart, you are acting very immature.
我们都想要那间办公室但要由Charlie来决定
We all want that office, but it's Charlie's decision to make
我们得尊重他
and we have to respect that.
谢谢你 Caitlin
Thank you, Caitlin.
我什么时候能把东西搬进去咧
So when can I move my stuff in?
你怎么知道我会把办公室给你呢
Why would you assume that I'd give you the office?
我评估的结果显示每人的表现都是均等的
Based on my evaluations, everyone's pretty equal.
不是每个方面都均等哦
We're not equal in all ways,
要是你能明白我的意思
if you... Catch my meaning.
你眼睛里进啥东西了吗 - 对呀是你火♥辣♥的身材哦
You got something in your eye? - Yes, your hot bod.
我想说的就是
All I'm saying is I think
我觉得我能给你一些他们不能给的
I can give you something that they can't.
我不会永远
I won't... Ever,
但至少我可以哦
but I could.
回见 Caitlin
See you later, Caitlin.
我知道紧要期政♥治♥是怎么玩的
I know how things work in big-time politics,
我们姑且称之为办公室预付金好了
so let's just call this a down payment on the office.
这是十块钱
This is ten dollars.
我知道你还得找我五块
I know. I'll need five back.
好吧可能"我永远不会"这种语气太强烈了
Okay, maybe "I won't... Ever" Was too strong.
其实如果你把办公室分给我
The truth is, if you came to me with a proposition,
我会认真考虑的
I would seriously consider it.
好啊今晚你要来我家吗
Okay. Do you want to come by my place tonight?
没门儿
Not a chance.
这次不顺利啦但是明天
It didn't work this time, but tomorrow,
你来我的新办公室再问一次
you come by my new office, ask again,
到时候可能
and you might get a...
Carter
Carter,
见到你太好了
am I glad to see you.
大家都快把我逼疯了
Everybody's driving me crazy.
我从没想过这些人
I never imagined the lengths people would go to
居然会因为一间办公室来操纵我
to manipulate me for an office.
Charlie 我永远都不会操纵你
Well, Charlie, I would never manipulate you.
你这么说我很欣慰 - 我要勒索你
I appreciate that. - I'm gonna blackmail you.
还记得你跟大家说
Remember when you told everyone
你大学时是橄榄球队的四分卫吗
you were quarterback for your college football team?
记得啊 - 我做了一点小调查
Yeah. - I did a little research...
然后偶然发现了这一幕
...and I came across this.
有意思看着不像你 - 对啊不像我
Funny... doesn't look like you. - No, it doesn't.
这个才像你
But this does.
大一那年我手腕骨折了
I broke my wrist freshman year
我得想办法进拉拉队啊
and I needed access to the cheerleaders.
你接着看
Watch what happens next.
这还只是中场休息
That was just during a timeout.
你应该看看我们触地得分的时候
You should see what happened when we scored a touchdown.
叹为观止 Charlie
Very impressive, Charlie.
但是我觉得大家看到你在中场休息时
But I think what people are gonna remember
跟着Billie Jean旋律大跳太空步才吃惊呢
is you moonwalking to Billie Jean during halftime.
看完就把录像带放到我的新办公室吧
When you finish the tape, drop it off... at my new office.
如果我说不呢
And what if I say no?
噢 Charlie 我知道你肯定会做出正确的判断
Oh, I know you're gonna make the right decision, Charlie...
因为你最棒
Because you've got spirit!
我这朋友总说我像卡梅隆迪亚兹
This friend insists I look like Cameron Diaz,
每次见到她她都喊我"卡梅隆迪亚兹"
and every time I see her, she's like, "Cameron Diaz!"
你朋友说过你像谁吗 - 噢当然
Do your friends think you look like anyone? - Oh, yeah.
真的吗像谁 - 像我爸
Oh, really? Who? - My dad.
哦他性感吗
Oh. Do you find him sexy?
嘿 Carter - 嘿
Hey, Carter. - Hey.
我也小调查了一下
I did a little digging
原来你得过水上芭蕾的冠军啊
and found out that you were a synchronized swimming champion.
如果大家看到你这张照片
I don't think you'd be
你可能会不高兴吧
too happy if people saw this picture of you.
啊不不会不高兴
Ah, no, I wouldn't.
这就是我为什么愿意让大家看我这张照片
That's why I like to show them this one.
怎么才能打败一个没羞耻心的人呢
How do I fight a man who has no shame?
感觉真好
That's nice.
你很享受对吧
You like that, don't you?
非常
Yes, I do.
我爱你
I love you.
嗷 - 怎么了啊
Ow! - What?
噢我的腿抽筋了
Oh, my hamstring! It's cramping up.
我能帮什么忙吗
Is there anything I can do?
很严重的我应该送你去机场
It's pretty bad. Maybe I should take you to the airport.
我给你按♥摩♥按♥摩♥吧 - 不不不
Let me massage it. - No, no, no. No, no, no!
Carter才会按♥摩♥ Carter 快过来快点
Only Carter does that. Carter, get out here, quick!
咋了咋了啊
What? What?
你得给我按♥摩♥大腿
I need you to rub my thighs.
听着我知道你们之间有点问题
Look, I know you guys are having some problems,
尽管我也想给你们来点动力
and as much as I'd like to give you a little kick-start,
但我觉得明天早上我们肯定会后悔
I think we'd all regret it in the morning.