政界小人物（1996）

Spin City S06E04

Part 3 June 30, 2021, 9:34 a.m.

哈哈你是嫉妒吗你个小草根
Ha ha, what, are you jealous, Mr. Small potatoes?
我现在可是
You're looking at the spokesman
教♥育♥部♥新任广♥告♥代言人
for the department of education's new ad campaign,
看这是我的第一份工资 - 多少钱
and look... This is my first check. - How much?
为了让你更好理解这样说吧
I will put it in terms that you can understand, Stuart.
大概够支付35次大腿舞
It's roughly 35 lap dances.
七百二十三美元
723 Dollars?
饭饭来啦
Here comes the choo-choo.
你为什么不吃疯了吗
Why won't you eat? You're acting crazy.
狗疯了还是你疯了
Yeah, the dog's the crazy one.
小声点
Lower your voice.
为什么 - Rags很挑剔的
Why? - Rags is finicky.
Carter说如果声音太大它就不吃饭
Carter said he won't eat if there's too much noise.
你开玩笑吧这狗是聋的
Are you kidding me? The dog is deaf.
耳朵只起装饰作用
Those ears are completely decorative.
看着
Watch this.
别叫了你不知道养它有多麻烦
Stop it! You don't know what I've been through with this dog.
它不肯洗澡不肯吃药
He wouldn't take his bath, he won't take his pills,
现在连饭都不吃吃一点儿吧 Rags
and now I can't get him to eat. Eat, rags, eat.
继续吧它上大学之后就不会再理你了
Keep it up... he won't call you when he gets to college.
这真的不容易
It's not so easy.
你试着让它做点儿事看看
You try getting him to do something.
对不起我不够谅解你
I'm sorry I'm not being that understanding.
因为市长我两晚上没睡了
Thanks to the mayor, I haven't slept in two nights.
他现在已经占领了我家
The guy is totally in my space.
Charlie 光烦恼没用
Charlie, these things won't solve themselves.
你得趁事情失去控制之前跟他谈谈
You have to talk to him before it gets out of control.
这么多年这是我第一次看到他这么开心
It's the first time the guy's been happy in years.
你要我怎么办
What do you want me to do?
在临选举时搞得他一蹶不振
Do you want me to crush him in the middle of an election?
可能是他在呼我
That's probably him paging me.
我得去开个会
I got a meeting to go to.
传呼机去哪儿了
Where's my pager?
在桌上 Rags旁边
Oh, it was on the table next to rags.
紧急情况我的狗刚吞了一个传呼机
I've got an emergency. My dog just swallowed a pager.
你确定
Are you sure?
我去找医生
I'll get a doctor.
天你一定要好好的 - 怎么了
Oh, God, please be okay. - What happened?
上周有三个非常糟糕的约会
Oh, well, I had three horrible dates last weekend,
我跟朋友Carter去参加一个婴儿洗礼
and I went to this baby shower with my friend Carter,
然后我想要一个孩子我接了Rags来养养
and I thought I wanted a baby, so I took rags,
Charlie吼了它它就吃了一个传呼机
and Charlie screamed at him, and then he ate a pager,
我再也无法当妈妈了
and now I'm never going to be a mother!
不会的狗就喜欢乱吞东西
No! No! Dogs swallow things all the time.
医生很快就会把传呼机弄出来
Doctors will get that out in minutes.
深呼吸一下
Now, just take some deep breaths.
确实有用
That helps.
我还在法学院念书时
When I was in law school,
这家伙就吃过汽车座椅
this guy ate the passenger seat to my V.W. Rabbit.
是吗
Really?
你是个律师吗
So you're a lawyer.
Charlie 那个餐厅很棒
That restaurant was great, Charlie.
今夜还未结束
Well, the night isn't over.
想听点轻音乐喝点小酒吗
Are you interested in some soft music and a little wine?
不但我想鬼混一下
No, but I'd like to fool around.
那就听你的
Let's go with yours.
嘿 Charlie
Hey Charlie.
你来的正是时候可以吃点芝士火锅
You're just in time for some cheese fondue.
超有趣
It's a lot of fun.
但把这儿弄得很乱看
But what a mess, huh? See?
它就一直流
That keeps happening.
Charlie 我明早得早起
Charlie, I have to get up early.
我还是走吧你跟父母继续玩
Why don't I go and you stay here and hang out with your parents?
他们不是我父母
They're not my parents.
晚安 Crawford先生 Crawford夫人
Good night, Mr. And Mrs. Crawford.
坐下一起玩叠叠乐吧
Hey, pull up a seat... we'll start a new jenga.
算了我还是回我房♥间
No, I think I'll just go to my room
看昨晚录的比赛
and watch the tape of last night's game.
是那个写着"洋基对阵红袜千万别删"的吗
Was that labeled "Yankees/ Red Sox, do not erase"?
对啊怎么了
Yes, it was. Why?
我们不小心把它覆盖了
Well, we accidentally taped over it.
但如果你想看<恋爱时代> 那里有
But if you want to watch "Dawson's" later, you're good to go.
出去 - 什么
Get out. - What?
带上你的东西芝士火锅叠叠乐出去
Get your stuff, get your fondue, get your jenga, get out.
Charlie 那只是棒球比赛罢了
Charlie, it was just a baseball game.
不是比赛的问题这是我家
It's not just the game. It's my apartment.
这儿不是市政厅而是我家
This isn't city hall. This is my home.
我热了奶酪
I've got hot cheese.
放下奶酪 Claire 我们走
Put the cheese down, Claire. We're leaving.
好吧
All right.
把钥匙还你
You can have your keys back.
我不会再烦你了
I won't be bothering you anymore.
我真是失败
I feel like such a failure.
我只不过需要照看Rags一天
All I had to do was take care of rags for one day,
结果都失败了
and I couldn't do it.
我这是骗谁呢我根本就没有准备好
Who am I kidding? I am not ready for this.
别轻易放弃
Don't give up so easily.
就是个小事故罢了你处理得很好
You had one crisis. You handled it well.
我在医院的时候非常抓狂
When I was at the hospital, I was freaking out and...
幸亏有个好人一直帮我
and there was this really nice guy that helped me through it,
我意识到如果我要养小孩
and it made me realize that when I have a baby,
我可不想自己一个人来
I don't want to do it alone.
好吧有道理
Okay. No, I-I-it makes... it makes sense.
怎么了
What's wrong?
我得承认
I got to admit...
我有些失望
I'm a little disappointed.
我以为如果你有小孩
I thought if you had a child,
我就能担当父亲的角色你懂的
I could do everything that a father does, you know...
带他去画廊
Take the kid to the salon...
学舞蹈逛街
Dance class, shopping...
如果是女孩儿的话我会学着带她
And if it was a girl, I could learn.
Carter 你有没有想过养一个孩子
Carter, have you ever thought about having a baby yourself?
想过但肯定不行
It's crossed my mind. But it would never work.
我单身还有自己的事业
I mean, I'm single, I have a career.
另外你知道同性恋领养小孩有多难吗
Besides, do you know how hard it is for a gay man to adopt?
这些都是借口你天生就是个养育者
Those are just excuses. You're a born nurturer.
那些孤儿们如果有你做爸爸
Right now there is a kid out there
那会是他们的福气
who would be so lucky to have you as their dad.
你真这么觉得吗
You really think so?
当然你有足够经验
Of course. You've had enough practice.
你对狗就像对孩子一样
You treat that dog as if it were a child.
我不就是给它做了一条裤子嘛
One time, I made him little pants.
Charlie 我代表我们两人向你致歉
Hello, Charlie. I want to apologize on behalf of both of us.
Randall有时候确实不太体谅他人
Sometimes Randall can be a little insensitive.
听着呢
Hear! Hear!
他含着金汤匙长大坦白的说
He grew up with a silver spoon, and quite frankly,
他有时候很自私
he can be selfish.
罪名成立
Guilty as charged.
他人奉献他只管接受
People give, he takes.
不断地接受接受接受
And takes... And takes... And ta...
够了吧
let's wrap this up.
Charlie 我真的很抱歉
Charlie, I really am sorry.
Charlie Claire说的那些我都同意
Charlie, I really meant... Everything that Claire said.
我想我也应该道歉
I guess I should apologize, too.
我确实反应过激了
I did overreact last night.
如果觉得我打扰了你为什么不直接告诉我
If I was bothering you, why didn't you just say something?
你应该最清楚
I mean, you of all people
我完全感受不到别人的痛苦
know how oblivious I am to other people's suffering.
我不习惯抱怨
It's not my style to complain...
尤其是对我上司
especially to my boss.