政界小人物（1996）

Spin City S06E05

Part 3 June 30, 2021, 9:35 a.m.

还带着一个小妞
with some little chippy.
难以相信他居然有情妇
I can't believe he has a woman on the side.
小妞指的是情妇
That's what a chippy is?
这样一来更棒了
Wow! That's even better!
这可是大事件他有老婆还有四个孩子
This is huge. He's got a wife and four kids.
我不想用性丑闻攻击他
I'm not sure this sex scandal is the way to go.
这很棒他的竞选基石就是家庭价值观
It's peefect! This guy's whole platform is about family values.
我知道但是我们没有证据
I know, but we don't have any proof.
去找就行了
Then we'll get some.
我们去监视他的房♥子拍下照片
We'll stake out his building and take some pictures.
也许可以逮到他在屋顶泳池喝醉
Maybe we'll catch him drunk in a rooftop pool,
扮演马可波罗光着身子与离异女人厮混
playing naked Marco polo with a lonely divorce from 3-g.
我再也不会告诉你我的故事了
I gotta stop telling you my stories.
做得好啊 Carter
Real nice, Carter.
真是毫无风度
You show no class.
我难以相信
You know, I can't believe
Michelle居然会听一个
Michelle is listening to the opinion of man
网名叫"胸部贩子"的人的话
whose Internet name is "Boob monger."
她确实听了我再说一遍
Well, she is, and for the last time,
那是"胸部大♥师♥" - 你什么时候才会长大
it's "Boob meister." - When are you gonna grow up?
你什么时候能不这么混♥蛋♥
When are you gonna stop being a pompous jerk?
诶你们俩这样都一天了
Guys, come on, you've been at it all day.
现在我们三个应该坐下谈谈
Now, the three of us, we're gonna sit down,
没解决之前不准走
and nobody's leaving until we fix this.
到底怎么了
Okay. What's going on?
我刚与他最好的朋友开始谈恋爱
I just started to date Carter's best friend,
他居然要求她作代理孕母
and now he wants her to carry his gay baby.
你们会解决的
You guys will work it out.
你知道吗我希望你开心
You know what? I hope you're happy.
你知道我多想要小孩儿
You know how much I want to have a child,
Michelle是我唯一希望做我代理孕母的人
and Michelle is the only person in the world I'd want to be my surrogate.
你可以领养啊
You can still adopt.
我说过这得等上两年
I told you the waiting list for a new baby is two years!
那个时候Rosie O'Donnell把好的都挑走了
By that time, Rosie O'Donnell will have taken the good ones!
你想过Michelle对我来说意味着什么吗
Have you thought about what Michelle might mean to me?
和她一起是我人生中最幸福的事
She could be the greatest thing that's happened in my life.
但你非但不为我高兴
But instead of being happy for me,
反而只想着这对你的影响
all you think about is how it affects you.
是吗好吧
Yeah? Well...
至少我不会吃垃圾桶里的食物
at least I don't eat food out of the garbage.
我就吃了那一个没剥皮的橘子
It was one unpeeled tangerine!
能不说这事儿了吗
Would you let it go?!
你不赞成Carter的宝宝计划吧
So I guess you're not on board for Carter's baby plan, huh?
他确实小气又自私
For once, he's being petty and selfish.
我全方位考虑了这件事我是对的
I thought about this from every angle, and I know I'm right.
你当然是
Well, I'm sure you are.
不过你扪心自问一下
Although you may want to ask yourself
如果你俩的恋情并未开花结果
what if you and Michelle don't work out?
牺牲与Carter的友情是否值得呢
Is that worth risking your friendship with Carter?
不过也可能开花结果
On the other hand, it may work out.
如果你们俩可以共度一生
What if you and Michelle are together forever?
那9个月难道不是小小的牺牲吗
Isn't nine months a small sacrifice
如果你们能给你最好的朋友带来无尽的幸福
if you can give your best friend immeasurable happiness?
不过我相信你已经全方位思考过了
Well, I'm sure you've thought of all the angles.
共事这么多年
All these years,
你非得挑这个时候来讲大道理
and you choose this moment to start making sense.
我会挑时候胸部大♥师♥
I pick my spots, boob meister.
你以前参与过盯梢吗
You ever been on a stakeout before?
没做过盯梢的一方
Not on this end.
真浪费时间
This is a waste of time.
如果现在撤我还赶得及约会
If we get out of here now, I could still make my date.
你今天有约会吗
You have a date tonight?
车里约就行嘛
We got the van.
等下
Wait.
情妇出现 3点钟方向
Chippy... 3:00.
他抱着他正在接吻
He's got his arm around her, and they're kissing.
你被逮到了
Ah! You are so busted.
这样做不对
You know what? This is wrong.
如果我们公开照片那就成了跟他一样卑鄙的人
If we go public with this, we'll be coming down to his level.
我说正面♥积♥极搞竞选你反对
I say, "Run a positive campaign," You're against it.
现在我决定攻击对方私生活
Now I'm ready to go negative,
你又反对你什么毛病
and you're against that? What's your problem?
我本性复杂
I'm a complicated dude.
你就是不喜欢听命于我
You can't handle taking orders from me.
不是这样的
That's not true.
你无法忍♥受自己不是负责人就想办法扰乱我的行动
You can't stand that you're not in control, so you're undermining me.
不然你为什么护着这个混♥蛋♥
Why else would you want to protect this jerk?
因为他有孩子好吗
Because he's got kids, okay?
我小时候非常崇拜我爸爸
Look, when I was growing up, I idolized my father.
有一天我和朋友翘课
One day, me and some friends, we skipped school,
在城里晃荡
and we were hanging out in the city,
我看到他从宾馆里走出来正在亲另外一个女人
and I saw him coming out of a hotel, kissing another woman.
我没告诉过任何人
I never told anyone about it,
我心中他的形象也完全变了味
and I never looked at him the same way again.
我知道Wheeler很卑鄙
I know Wheeler's a sleaze,
但我不想他的孩子们因为我而发现这些
but I don't want his kids to find out because of me.
你因此痛苦了太久
You've held on to this pain for so long.
发泄出来吧
Go ahead. Let it out.
已经发泄出来了
It's out.
这能解释很多事
That explains so much.
这是不是你和那么多女人交往的原因
I mean, do you think that's why you're with so many women?
不是我纯粹喜欢做♥爱♥
No, I just really like sex.
这些图片可以助我们赢得选举
These pictures might be enough to give us the election.
你决定吧
I'll leave it up to you.
我大学时辅修心理
I want you to know that I was a psych minor in college,
如果你想要梳理
and if you ever want to sift through
对你♥爸♥爸的感情
your repressed feelings about your father...
Charlie
Charlie!
嘿 Stuart
Hey, Stuart.
我想过你说的话了
I was, uh, thinking about what you said,
你是对的
and you're right.
所以你决定不♥穿♥红皮裤了
So you're gonna stop wearing those red leather pants?
我之前只想着自己的问题
I was so busy thinking about my own problems,
而忽略了这对你有多重要
I couldn't see how much this meant to you.
我真心高兴你们走到了一起
I'm really happy you found each other.
真的
Really?
嗯她是个很好的女子
Yeah. She's an amazing woman.
你配不上她
She's way out of your league.
我妈也这么说
My mother said the same thing.
那些是什么
What are those?
我决定找一个新的代理孕母
I've decided to search for a new surrogate.
我把她们分为三类
I've divided them into three separate categories...
专业人士艺术家
professionals, artists...
那些是 - 品味不好的
what are those? - Bad fashion sense.
嗨
Hey, guys.
嘿 Michelle
Hey, Michelle.
Carter 我想让你知道
Carter, I want you to know
我一整晚都在想你的提议
I've been up all night thinking about your proposal.
这不是一般的承诺无论是生理还是心理上
It's a huge commitment, both physically and emotionally.
我可能会变得喜怒无常
I'll probably be moody all the time.
每天早上孕吐
I'll be sick every morning.
胸部会变得巨大
My breasts will get huge.
有百万个理由让我拒绝
There are a million reasons why I shouldn't do this.
但我还是想这么做
But I want to anyway.
为什么
Why?
Carter 我想不到有任何人
Carter, I can't think of anyone
比你更配当爸爸
who deserves to be a father more than you do.
帮你成为爸爸可能是我一生中
And helping you get there could be
做的最重要的事情之一
one of the most important things I ever do in my life.
你不介意吗 Stuart
You okay with that, Stuart?