宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S03E10

Part 1 Dec. 8, 2021, 10:48 a.m.

我刚才在药房♥里买♥♥感冒药你经历过吗？真不简单
So I was in the drugstore trying to get a cold medication. You ever try this?
一面墙都是药你站在那里
It's an entire wall of medications.
宋飞正传第三季第10集 “进退两难”
到底选哪一个？
"All right, all right, okay. What the hell am I...?
这个显效快可那个药效持续久
This is quick-acting, but this is long-lasting.
我是选择现在好过点呢还是以后舒服点？
When do I need to feel good? Now or later? "
艰难的选择啊
It's a tough question.
而且电视上的药品广♥告♥
Then the commercials on TV show you what's wrong with the guy.
通常都是给出症状首先他们会给你看一个人体
They always show you the problems. They show you the human body...
一般是这么一个人…
...which is usually this guy:
没有脸，嘴大张着
No face, mouth open.
药品公♥司♥就是这样看大众的
This is how drug companies see the public.
而且症状也总是固定的
And he's always in, like, a certain pain.
例如，红色的波浪线穿过他…
Like, red, wavy lines are going through him...
或者他发着光有时身体某处还在着火
...or he's glowing. Parts of him are on fire sometimes.
好像闪电击中他一般
Lightning is attacking him.
我从来没听过大夫问 “你疼吗？”“是的”
I never had a doctor say, "Are you having pain?
“有没有像被闪电击中般的疼痛感？”
Are you having any lightning with the pain? "
你怎么招上跳蚤的？
How did you get fleas?
我表兄的笨狗跑到外面把跳蚤带到他地毯上了
My cousin's imbecile dog was outside and they got in his carpet.
你可以戴个除跳蚤的蝴蝶领结
Maybe you could get yourself a little bow tie flea collar.
你真幽默
That's real funny.
你会去那个派对吗？
So are you coming to the party?
我想去，但长岛太远了
I'd go, but Long Island, it's so far out.
好像有点过于积极了
It smacks of desperation.
大家都会问
Everyone's gonna be saying:
“你大老远从曼哈顿来就为了这个？”
"You came all the way out from Manhattan for this?"
艾娃会去 - 谁？
You know, Ava's gonna be there. -Who?
我同事，好的那个
The nice one that works in my office.
我来开车！ - 你说得好听
I'll drive! -Oh, well, now you're talking.
应该是个不错的派对
Supposed to be a good party.
什么意思？有好东西吃？
Well, what does that mean? Good dip?
不，会有女孩去
No. There'll be girls there.
到处都有女孩！
There's girls everywhere!
我走出家门，电梯里就有女孩
I go out and there's girls in the elevator.
餐厅里有，地铁里有那又怎样？
They're in cafeterias, subways. So what?
这里药太多了
There's a hundred different things here.
这两个有什么不同？
What's the difference between these two?
你那个有尼泊金丙酯吗？ - 有（尼泊金丙酯，防腐剂成分）
You got propylparaben? -Got it.
你那个有异丁烷30吗？
You got isobutane 30?
我这个有异丁烷20
I got isobutane 20.
你那个有倍半油酸山梨坦吗？
You got sorbitan sesquioleate?
有 - 我这个含芦荟
Got it. -I have aloe.
芦荟？我很喜欢芦荟
You got aloe? I love aloe.
你那个哪里产的？
Where do they make yours?
新泽西 - 这个是白原市的
Jersey. -White Plains.
女孩这商店里就有女孩
Girls. There's girls right here in the store.
看，那里就有一个看呀
Look. Look. There's one over there. Look.
那儿又一个
There's another one.
一出门会有更多
As soon as I walk outside, there'll be girls.
怎么了？
What's the matter?
我给她二十块她只找了我十块的钱
I gave her a 20, she gave me change for a 10.
你肯定？天啊，又来了
Are you sure? Oh, boy. Here we go.
打搅一下我给了你张二十块的票子
Excuse me. I gave you a $20 bill...
你只找了我十块钱
...and you only gave me change for a 10.
你给我的是十块 - 我肯定给了你二十
You gave me a 10. -I'm positive I gave you a 20.
我很清楚你给了我多少
I know what you gave me.
你少给我十块钱
You owe me $10.
你能不能让让？
Will you please step aside?
下一位！ - 好，好吧
Next! -All right, all right.
我们来研究一下
Let's just examine the situation for a second.
这种情况下谁更可能犯错？
Who, in this situation, would be more likely to make a mistake?
是很清楚钱包里有多少钱的我？
Me, who had access to my wallet, knew exactly what was in there...
还是你？ - 当然是你
...or you? -You.
不，不，你没在听我说
No, no, no. See, you're not really listening.
有什么事吗？ - 没什么
What's the problem here? -There's no problem.
就是她少给我十块钱
She just owes me $10. That's all.
他说少找了钱 - 到外头去说
He's claiming short. -Let's just take it outside.
你也不相信我？！
Oh, so you don't believe me either?!
走吧 - 不要紧，你还没赢
Come on. Let's go. -All right. You haven't won.
你以为你赢了，但你没赢知道为什么吗？
You may think you've won, but you haven't won. Know why?
还没结束呢
It's not over. This is not over.
我不会忘了的你欠我十块钱
I'm not forgetting what's happening here. You have my $10.
我会要回来的别担心
I will get it back. All right. Don't worry.
还没结束呢我现在先走
And it's not over. I'm going now.
再见，我会回来的
Goodbye. I will be back.
别光傻站在这儿进去吧
Well, don't stand here. Let's walk in.
融入人群，融进去
Blend in. Blend in.
不，先看好形势待在这儿
No, let's survey first. Camp here.
艾娃
Ava.
为什么有人愿意开派对？
What could possess anyone to throw a party?
让一帮陌生人把你家当成宾馆房♥间？
I mean, to have a bunch of strangers treat your house like a hotel room.
猜猜谁把西81街129号♥的房♥子卖♥♥出去了？ - 不是你吧？ (该地址为宋飞所在的楼)
Guess who just sold 129 West 81 st. -Oh, no, you didn't.
不会吧！什么时候？ - 昨天
Get out! When? -Yesterday.
我不相信 - 去问马克
I don't believe it. -Ask Mark.
马克，是真的吗？
Mark, is this true?
这绝对是场大灾难
Yeah, this has got "disaster" written all over it.
我怎么会被你说服来这儿的？我一定是疯了
How did I let you talk me into this? I must have been out of my mind.
我们应该互相照应
Listen, let's keep an eye on each other.
如果我们其中一人被卷进无聊的谈话中…
In case one of us gets in a bad conversation...
应该给个信♥号♥♥ 另一个人好来解救
...we should have a signal so the other one can get us out of it.
你几岁了？ - 36
How old are you? -Thirty-six.
用什么信♥号♥♥好呢？
What's the signal?
像鸡那样挥舞翅膀怎么样？
How about this: Chicken wing.
不，不，我想到更好的
No, no, no. I got a better one:
拍头
Head-patting.
随便你
Whatever you want.
你大老远从曼哈顿来就为了这个？
You came all the way out from Manhattan for this?
是啊，是啊
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
你做什么工作的？
So, what do you do?
喜剧演员 - 真的？
I'm a comedian. -Are you?
问你个问题你从哪里得到灵感？
Let me ask you something. Where do you get your material?
我能听到一个声音 - 什么样的声音？
I hear a voice. -What kind of voice?
一个男人的声音，但他说德语所以我还得找人翻译
A man's voice. But he speaks in German, so I have to get it translated.
你为什么一直在拍头？
How come you keep tapping your head?
紧张时的毛病
It's a nervous tick.
我正在服用左旋多巴（左旋多巴，治疗帕金森病的有效药物）
I'm on L-dopa.
另一方面你看看乔治·华盛顿·卡佛（乔治·华盛顿·卡佛，186♥4♥年出生于密苏里州的钻石丛镇，美国最著名的农业科学家之一，毕生研究花生）
On the other hand, you take a guy like George Washington Carver.
他把一生都奉献给了花生
The man devoted his whole life to the peanut.
一个人竟能对一件事如此执着
Imagine having so much passion for something.
别人说我挺幽默的
You know, people tell me I'm a funny guy.
我经常在想他对核桃有没有研究
I've often wondered if he ever worked with the pecan.
我也是
Yeah. Me too.
核桃是坚果类的吗？我知道腰果是属于豆类的
Now, is that considered a nut? I know the cashew is a legume.
你怎么样？ - 不错，你呢？
How's it going? -Great. How about you?
我都不敢相信刚才发生的事
I can't believe what's happening here.
她整晚手都没从我身上拿开过
She hasn't taken her hands off me all night.
她在办公室总是很友好但没看出她有这意思
She was always friendly around the office, but that was it.
你觉得是怎么回事？ - 我不知道
How do you account for this? -I don't know.
也许她给保险柜砸昏头了
Maybe a safe fell on her head.
她肯定是一开始就喜欢你
Well, she obviously liked you all along.
不，那样我会注意到的
No. I would have picked up on it.
女人要是对我有意思，我会感觉到的她们总会让你知道
I can always tell. Women always somehow let you know.
是我的话，就算拷打我也不会告诉她们
With me, they could torture me, I wouldn't tell them.
我尽量让她们觉着我不喜欢她们
I try to make them think I don't like them.
她们会想 “这人连看都没在看我”
Then they think, "Oh, this guy's not even looking.
“他一定有高人一等的地方”
He must have something going for him. "
我想走了
Anyway, I'm ready to go.
现在？ - 不现在走，那什么时候？
Now? -Well, if not now, when?
给我半小时 - 好，半小时
Give me a half-hour. -Okay. Half-hour.
花生糖，花生酱，花生油…