宋飞正传（1990）
Seinfeld
第三季
剧集 | 宋飞正传（1990） | 导航列表
宋飞正传（1990）
Seinfeld S03E17
Part 3
Dec. 8, 2021, 10:49 a.m.
...that changed us in a very deep and profound way...
深刻而彻底的变化
...from that day forward.
什么事？ - 他向我们吐唾沫！
What was it? -He spit on us!
我大叫道，“我遭到攻击了！”
And I screamed out, "I'm hit!"
然后我转过头去 那口痰从他那里弹了回来，打中了我
Then I turned, and the spit ricocheted off him, and it hit me.
这故事真精彩
What a story.
不幸的是，永恒的物理定律…
Unfortunately, the immutable laws of physics contradict...
与你所描述的前提是相矛盾的
...the whole premise of your account.
请允许我把你所讲的情景 向贝尼斯女士重现一下…
Allow me to reconstruct this, if I may, for Ms. Benes...
因为这故事我听过好多次了
...as I've heard this story a number of times.
纽曼，克莱默 如果你们允许的话
Newman, Kramer, if you'll indulge me.
根据你们所讲…
According to your story...
赫尔南德兹经过你们 开始朝那个坡道走上去
...Hernandez passes you and starts walking up the ramp.
然后你说你的右太阳穴…
Then you say you were struck...
受到攻击
...on the right temple.
然后那口痰从右太阳穴做了一个反弹…
The spit then proceeds to ricochet...
正好击中纽曼的第三和第四肋骨之间
...off the temple, striking Newman between the third and the fourth rib.
然后痰又离开肋骨…
The spit then came off the rib...
一个右转弯 正好又击中纽曼的右手腕…
...made a right turn, hitting Newman in the right wrist...
害他放掉了手里的棒球帽
...causing him to drop his baseball cap.
之后那口痰从右腕溅开 停在了…
The spit then splashed off the wrist, pauses...
半空中 别介意我做下慢动作演示…
...in midair, mind you...
又左转，最后落在了纽曼的左大腿上
...makes a left turn and lands on Newman's left thigh.
这口痰真是太神奇了！
That is one magic loogie.
事情就是这样的
Well, that's the way it happened.
你遭到攻击时你的头是怎么样的？
What happened to your head when you got hit?
哦，我的头…
Well, my head...
…倒向左后方
...went back, to the left.
再说一遍 - 倒向左后方
Say that again. -Back and to the left.
倒向左后方
Back and to the left.
倒向左后方
Back and to the left.
你想说什么？
So, what are you saying?
我是说…
I'm saying...
那口痰不可能来自他后面
...that the spit could not have come from behind.
吐痰的肯定是其他人
That there had to have been a second spitter.
就在灌木丛后面的碎石路上
Behind the bushes, on the gravelly road.
如果如你所说 吐痰的人在你后方…
If the spitter was behind you, as you claim...
…那就会导致你的头向前倾
...that would've caused your head to pitch forward.
所以痰只可能来自克莱默的右前方
So the spit could've only come from the front and to the right.
但这不是他们想要的结论
But that's not what they would have you believe.
我走了
I'm leaving.
杰瑞是个呆子
Jerry's a nut.
等等，等等
Wait, wait, wait.
可悲的是 我们可能永远都不会知道事情真♥相♥
The sad thing is, we may never know the real truth.
有人打电♥话♥询问范德雷工业的事情吗？
Did anybody call asking for Vandalay Industries?
没有，你怎么了？ - 那就好，听好：
No, what happened to you? -All right, listen closely:
我当时在失业办公室
I was at the unemployment office.
我告诉他们我差点就能 在范德雷工业找到工作…
I told them I was very close to getting a job with Vandalay Industries...
我把你的电♥话♥号♥码给了他们 所以电♥话♥响时…
...and I gave them your phone number. So when the phone rings...
你得这样回答，“范德雷工业”
...you have to answer, "Vandalay Industries."
我成了范德雷工业的人？ - 是的
I'm Vandalay Industries? -Right.
是做什么的？ - 做乳胶
What is that? -You're in latex.
乳胶？ - 嗯
Latex? -Right.
我怎么做乳胶？ - 我不知道！就当你生产乳胶好了！
What do I do with latex? -I don't know! You manufacture it!
就在这么个小公♥寓♥里？ - 那我该说你什么？
Right here in this little apartment? -And what do I say about you?
你正在考虑雇佣我 当你们的乳胶销♥售♥
You're considering hiring me for your latex salesman.
我要雇你帮我做乳胶销♥售♥？ - 对
I'll hire you as my latex salesman? -Right.
我可不这么想
I don't think so.
我为什么要那样做？
Why would I do that?
因为我要求你做啊
Because I asked you to.
如果你认为我是在找一个仅仅是坐着…
If you think I'm looking for someone to just sit...
翻翻报纸的人，还是算了吧
...pushing papers around, you can forget it.
生产这些东西就让我够头疼的了
I've got enough headaches just trying to manufacture the stuff.
哪位？ - 我是基思
Yeah? -It's Keith.
好的，我们马上下来
All right, we're coming down.
基思·赫尔南德兹？
Keith Hernandez?
是啊，快，伊莲，咱们走 - 你们去哪里啊？
Yeah. Come on, Elaine, let's go. -Where are you going?
他们捎我一程，我去市区
They're giving me a ride downtown.
你知道，吐痰的肯定另有其人 会是谁呢？
You know, there had to have been a second spitter. Who was it?
谁会有作案动机呢？
Who had the motive?
这是我过去五年内一直在思索的问题
That's what I've been trying to figure out the past five years.
你们俩究竟在说什么呢？
What the hell are you two talking about?
谢谢你，我过得很愉快 - 是啊，我也很开心
That was really fun. Thanks. -Yeah, it really was.
我该跟他握手道别吗？
Should I shak e his hand?
呃…
Well...
想不想周末去看场电影？
You want to catch a movie this weekend?
你看过《惊天大刺杀》没？
Have you seen JFK?
没，还没看过
No, I haven't.
哇哦，这个周末
This week end. Wow!
当然好，我很乐意去
Sure. That would be great.
妈的，我太操之过急了 他一定察觉到了
Damn. I was too overanxious. He must have noticed that.
我的意思是，如果你想去的话
I mean, if you want to.
那么这周五如何？ - 嗯，周五可以
Well, how about this Friday? -Yeah, Friday's okay.
快，和他握手，我可是杰瑞·宋飞
Go ahead, shak e his hand. I'm Jerry Seinfeld.
我可是上过《今夜秀》的人啊
I've been on The Tonight Show.
好，晚安
Well, good night.
晚安
Good night.
对了，杰瑞…
Oh, Jer, by the way...
之前我们搭载的那位女士…
...the woman we gave a ride to earlier...
她是伊莲 - 就是她
Elaine. -Yeah.
她有男朋友吗？ - 我不清楚，我们以前是男女朋友
What's her story? -I don't know. We used to go out.
你介意我打电♥话♥给她吗？
Would you mind if I gave her a call?
跟她约会？ - 是啊
For a date? -Yeah.
哦，不介意…
Oh, no...
尽管打
Go ahead.
有笔吗？
You got a pen?
你真的不介意？
You sure you don't mind?
之后我们去吃晚饭
So then we went to dinner.
谁埋单了？ - 我们各掏一半
Who paid? -We split it.
各一半，非常好
Split it. Pretty good.
你们谈到第六局比赛了吗？ - 没，这个我得等到合适的时间再提
Did you talk about game six? -No. I gotta wait until it's the right time.
谁？ - 我是伊莲
Yeah? -It's Elaine.
上来
Come on up.
然后呢？
So then what?
没什么了，他送我回来
Nothing. Then he took me home.
和他握手了吗？
Shake his hand?
嗯
Yeah.
握手时他是哪种姿势啊？
What kind of a shake does he have?
不错的握手，很好的握手
Good shake. Perfect shake.
简单一握，用力适当
Single pump, not too hard.
虽然不需要证明什么 不过足够能让你感觉到他的存在
Didn't have to prove anything, but firm enough to know he was there.
那么…
So...
你还会和他见面吗？
...you're gonna see him again?
他问我周五晚有事没
He asked me if I was doing anything Friday night.
就这周末！
The weekend!
然后，当我准备下车时…
So then, as I was getting out of the car...
好啊！ - 你好，伊莲
Hi! -Oh, hi, Elaine.
嗨，伊莲
Hi, Elaine.
你的约会如何啊？
So how was your date?
什么约会？他是个男的
What date? It's a guy.
你知道… 他给我打电♥话♥了
So you know... He called me.
已经打过了？ - 基思给你打电♥话♥了？
Already? -Keith called you?
这家伙还真会左右逢源
This guy really gets around.
你介意吗？ - 不，不介意，我为什么要介意？
Do you mind? -No, I don't mind. Why should I mind?
他说什么了？
What did he say?
他约我周六晚上出去
He asked me out for Saturday night.
你去吗? - 不去
You going? -No.
我告诉他周六我很忙 - 是吗？
I told him I was busy. -Oh, really?
所以我们周五晚上出去
So we're going out Friday.
周五？ - 是啊
Friday? -Yeah.
他周五晚上和你出去？
宋飞正传（1990）
Seinfeld
剧集 | 宋飞正传（1990） | 导航列表