宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S03E22

Part 1 Dec. 8, 2021, 10:53 a.m.

停车场有这样的车位 “仅限小型车”
In parking lots, they have this "compact car only" spot.
宋飞正传第三季第22集 “泊车”
这是不是在歧视你车的大小呢？
Isn't that discrimination against the size of your car?
我乐意我的车屁♥股♥露在车位以外
If I want my ass hanging out of the back of my parking spot...
别人管不着
...that's my business.
确实有人把屁♥股♥露在裤子外
There are people with real asses hanging out of their pants.
也没人阻止他们
Nobody's stopping them.
没有人上去说：“等一下，先生那是紧身牛仔裤…”
Nobody goes, " Hey, hold it, sir. Those are compact jeans.
“…你不该露那么多肉”
You can't pull that in there. "
嗨
Hey.
兄弟，我有个坏消息
I got bad news for you, buddy.
你的车可能又被偷了
I think your car got stolen again.
你又说什么呢？
What are you talking about?
你的车停在84号♥街和哥伦布大道的交界口，对吗？
You parked on 84th and Columbus, right?
我刚从那里路过你的车不见了
I just walked by there, and that car is gone.
哦，这我知道
Yeah, I know.
车在哪儿？
Well, where is it?
有关系吗？
What's the difference?
其实无所谓，我只是好奇
Well, there's no difference. You know, I'm just curious.
你什么事都想知道，是吧？
Always have to know everything that's going on, don't you?
车怎么了？ - 如果不告诉你，你就特别难受对吗？
What happened to the car? -Lf I don't tell you, it'll kill you, won't it?
对，对，挺难受的 - 你一定要知道
Yeah, yeah. It'll kill me. -You have to know.
你非要知道不可 - 我非要知道不可
You must know. -I must know.
可我就不告诉你
Well, I'm not telling you.
告诉我吧
Come on.
不，我不乐意
Nope. I don't think so.
求你了？ - 今天不行，兄弟
Well, please? -Not today, pal.
好吧，算我求你了
Okay, I beg you.
你看，你只是说“求” 并不是真的乞求
Now, see, just saying "beg" doesn't make it a real beg.
你应该有所表示
You gotta put some beg into it.
好吧，求你了！求你告诉我吧！
Okay. Please! Please tell me!
好了，好了，你还得认真练习怎么求人
All right, but your begging needs a lot of work.
行了，车到底怎么了？ - 我把车借给乔治了
Okay, okay. What is it? -I loaned the car to George.
乔治，很好
George. All right.
为什么借？
Well, what for?
乔治和伊莲去威彻斯特的跳蚤市场了，行了吧？（威彻斯特，位于美国纽约州）
George and Elaine went to a flea market in Westchester. Okay?
好吧
All right.
可他们去干吗？
Why'd they go there?
别再问了，行吗？
Would you stop it, already?
他们为什么没叫我一起去？ - 我不知道！
Why didn't they ask me to go? -I don't know!
我怎么会知道？
How am I supposed to know?
怎么，他们不喜欢我？ - 我不喜欢你
What, they don't like me? -I don't like you.
如果他们喜欢我不会叫我一起去吗？
Well, if they liked me, why didn't they ask me to go?
就是嘛！
Yeah.
我真的觉得看起来很棒
I really think it looks good.
十块钱呢，能难看到哪里去？
Ten bucks. How can you go wrong?
所有谢顶的人戴帽子都好看
All bald people look good in hats.
那你该活在二三十年代那时候男人都戴帽子
You should have lived in the '20s and '30s. Men wore hats all the time then.
那真是秃头的黄金年代
What a bald paradise that must have been.
谁知道呢
Nobody knew.
你现在也可以一直戴帽子啊
You can wear a hat all the time now.
谁拦着你了？ - 我不行
Who's stopping you? -No, I can't.
我如果遇到女士怎么办？
What if I meet a woman?
我总担心当我第一次摘下帽子的时候…
I'd always worry about that first moment where I take it off...
会看到她脸上失望的表情
...and see that look of disappointment on her face.
你真的喜欢这副太阳镜吗？
You sure you like these sunglasses?
天！
Man.
我对乔治和伊莲很失望
Well, I'm very disappointed in George and Elaine.
你也知道你不会想跟我这种人作对
And you know I'm somebody you don't wanna have on your bad side.
为什么呢？ - 因为我很冷血
Why not? -Because I'm like ice, buddy.
如果我不喜欢你你就有麻烦了
When I don't like you, you got problems.
这是为看拳击比赛准备的吗？ - 没错，35分钟后开始
Is this for the fight? -Yeah. Starts in 35 minutes.
好
Yeah.
嘿，我邀请了麦克·莫菲特你不会介意吧？
Hey, I invited Mike Moffett. You don't mind, do you?
不会，我喜欢麦克
No. I like Mike.
我刚跟他通过电♥话♥ 聊得很开心
I just got off the phone with him. We had a great conversation.
是吗？你们都说什么了？ - 其实，我们说到你了
Yeah? What did you talk about? -Actually, we talked about you.
嗯，他说了一些特别有意思的事
Yeah. He had some pretty interesting things to say.
是吗？他说什么？
Yeah? What did he say?
你什么都想知道，是吗？
You have to know everything, don't you?
说吧，他说什么了？ - 为什么？
Come on. What'd he say? -Why is that?
为什么你什么都想知道？
Why do you have to know everything?
克莱默，快说他都说了什么 - 求我
Kramer, just tell me what he said. -Beg me.
求你别让我求你 - 不，我想让你求我
Please don't make me beg. -No, I want you to beg me.
而且不是嘴上说说要真心实意地求我
And I don't want you to say it. I want you to put some beg in it. Go on.
克莱默，求你告诉我他都说了什么
Kramer, please tell me what the guy said.
不行，不行，做得不好
No, no. That's no good.
我真的不觉得那是乞求
No, I really don't think that's a beg.
不行，差不多了，可是…
No way. It's close, but...
克莱默！ - 我什么也不能说
Kramer! -Look, I can't say anything.
他信任我才跟我说这些事我不能背叛朋友
The guy told me this stuff in confidence. I'd be betraying a friend.
你不能只说一半，吊我胃口啊
Well, you can't just mention it and then not tell me.
好吧，我跟你说，你可别跟他说
All right. I'll tell you, but you can't say anything to him.
我绝对保密，把它放肚子里
I'm not saying anything. I'm putting it in the vault.
让它烂肚子里！
I'm locking the vault. It's a vault!
他认为你很虚伪 - 什么？
He thinks you're a phoney. -He what?
我跟你说，他认为你是个伪君子
I told you. He thinks you're a phoney.
伪君子？他认为我虚伪？ - 大骗子
A phoney? He called me a phoney? -A big phoney.
大大的
Big one.
你为什么要告诉我这些我还没法辩解
Why did you tell me that if I can't say anything?
你求我的
You begged me.
你听到了吗？
Do you hear that?
我当然听到了
Of course I hear that.
都怪你非要扳镜子
You had to move the mirror.
我不过是想看看我的墨镜
I wanted to check out my sunglasses.
我要看后视镜，却什么也没看到你破坏了我的平衡
Went to look in the mirror, it was gone. You threw off my equilibrium.
都怪我头上好了其实你根本不会开车，乔治
Yeah. Blame it on me because you can't drive, George.
我不会开车？ - 是啊
I can't drive? -Yeah.
没有人能开得我这么好，没有
Nobody drives like me. Nobody.
我会开车的时候你还不知道在哪儿呢
I'm doing things in this car, you have no idea they're going on.
想看看怎么从左边的车道右转弯吗？看着
Want to see a right turn from the left lane?
不，绝对不想
No, I really don't.
我也能从右边的车道左转 - 我知道你行
I can make a left from the right lane. -I'm sure you could.
我们怎么跟杰瑞解释？ - 我也不知道
What are we gonna tell Jerry? -I don't know.
先找个停车位
Start looking for spaces.
你不可能在杰瑞的街区找到车位停到公共车♥库♥吧
You're never gonna find a space on Jerry's block. Just put it in a garage.
我有我的方式首先，我找最靠近家门的理想车位
Look, I have my system. First, I look for the dream spot...
然后，慢慢以门口为圆心扩大搜索范围
...in front of the door, then I slowly expand out in concentric circles.
算了吧，乔治求你了，去车♥库♥吧
No. Come on, George. Please put it in a garage.
我可不想花一个小时找车位
I don't wanna spend an hour looking for a space.
我不能把车停车♥库♥里
I can't park in a garage.
为什么？ - 我不知道，就是不能
Why? -I don't know. I just can't.
我们家没人会为停车付钱那样感觉很变♥态♥
Nobody in my family can pay for parking. It's a sickness.
我爸不会付费停车我妈，我兄弟，都不会 (第二次提及兄弟)
My father never paid for parking. My mother. My brother. Nobody.
我来付停车费 - 你没听懂
I'll pay for it. -You don't understand.
车♥库♥
A garage.
我都不会开进去
I can't even pull in there.
就像去嫖♥妓♥似的
It's like going to a prostitute.
如果我能自己找到免费的车位为什么还要付钱？
Why should I pay when, if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free?
干吗？你想干吗？
What? What do you want?
你先走，我在找车位
Go around me. I'm looking for spaces.
乔治，那有个车位
George! There's a space right there!
爽！ - 你刚好开过了，看到没？
Beautiful. -You just passed it, see?
看看，最理想的位置就在杰瑞的公♥寓♥门前
Look at that, the dream space. Right in front of Jerry's building.
梦想总会实现我怎么跟你说来着？
Dreams can come true. What did I tell you?
你甚至不用开车去吃晚餐
You didn't even have to take it out to dinner.
好了，现在给你展示一下平行泊车
All right, now you're gonna see some parallel parking.
我希望你能来个现场直播
I wish you could make a living parallel parking.
完全是几何学了解所有的角度…
It's all geometry, knowing all the angles...
何时打方向，何时回方向
...when to make that first turn and when to...
这是关键