宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S03E15

Part 1 Dec. 8, 2021, 10:49 a.m.

宋飞正传第三季第15集 “自杀事件”
我要体♥检♥了
I'm going to get a physical examination.
把尿样交给他们是一件乐事，不是吗？
That urine sample. Giving them that, that's always a pleasure, isn't it?
接着会被问到量的问题：
Then there's always the amount question:
“我不知道你们到底要什么我有的都给了”
"I don't know what you need. I gave you whatever I had there.
“我还有更多，你们想要什么我都给”
I got more. Whatever you need, I can get it for you.
“如果有需要尽管开口没问题，我是说…”
Just let me know what you need. It's no problem, I mean... "
不过不论哪种体♥检♥，不管什么类型的
But any kind of physical test, I don't know what it is...
对于我喜欢的，我都会好好表现
...I always click into this thing where I wanna do really well.
只要是体♥检♥项目我都想表现突出一点
If it's gonna be a physical test, I wanna do well.
还记得上学的时候做的听力测试么？
Remember in school, they'd do hearing tests?
那时候真是竖起耳朵听，这样…
And you'd really be listening, you know...
总是尽力… 想好好表现，我想表现得比较出色
...trying to really... Trying to do well, I wanna do well.
想要做出惊人的表现
I wanted to do unbelievable on that test.
我希望测试过后他们过来告诉我：
I wanted them to come to me after the test and go:
“我们认为你的听觉接近超能听觉”
"We think you may have something close to super hearing.
“你听到的是一个棉花球落到毡布上的声音”
What you heard was a cotton ball touching a piece of felt.
“我们会把测试结果送到首都华盛顿”
We're sending the results to Washington.
“我们希望你和总统会面”
We'd like you to meet the president. "
问你个问题
Let me ask you a question.
如果你给孩子取名叫拉斯普丁
If you named a kid Rasputin...
会对他的生活有什么负面影响吗？
...do you think that would have a negative effect on his life?
不会
No.
你干嘛呢，我们马上就去吃饭了
What are you doing? We're going out to dinner.
你知不知道我今后三天就只能吃这一餐了？
Do you realize this is the last meal I'm gonna have for three days?
你好 - 乔治
Yeah. -George.
上来吧
Come on up.
我还没见过这样的你为了个溃疡检测要绝食三天
I never heard of this. You gotta fast for three days to take an ulcer test.
怎么能这么干呢？ - 不知道
How will you do that? -I don't know.
要是我有溃疡怎么办呢？是谁传染给我的呢？
How could I possibly have ulcers? Who could have given me ulcers?
我去把垃圾倒了
I think I'll take out the garbage.
你禁食过没有？
Have you ever fasted?
有一次我直到9:00才吃上饭
Well, once I didn't have dinner till, like, 9:00.
告诉你吧，那可是相当难熬
I'll tell you, that was pretty rough.
嗨，帮个忙吧，好吧？
Hey. Do me a favour, will you?
帮我把垃圾丢了
Throw out my garbage for me.
好啊，行
Yeah. Right.
拜托，到下面走廊就好了
Come on. It's just down the hall.
给我两块，两块我就干
Give me 2 bucks. I'll do it for 2 bucks.
我给你五毛
I'll give you 50 cents.
少于两块别想让我碰那袋子
There's no way I'd touch that bag for less than $2.
行了，五毛啊能买♥♥个德雷克咖啡蛋糕了
Come on, 50 cents. You can get yourself a Drake's Coffee Cake.
五毛可买♥♥不来德雷克咖啡蛋糕
You're not getting no Drake's Coffee Cake for 50 cents.
我都准备好了，票拿到了周五就去开曼群岛
I'm all set. I got the ticket. I'm going to the Cayman Islands Friday.
真是搞不懂你没工作还会出去玩？
I don't get you. Who goes on vacation without a job?
你想要怎样 11点起床还嫌你休息不够么？
What do you need, a break from getting up at 11?
说好的事情了搞不懂你干嘛不和我一起去
It's a deal. I don't know why you don't come with me.
我不喜欢这种不能改主意的交易
I don't go for nonrefundable deals.
连女人我都没法负责更别提航♥空♥公♥司♥了
I can't commit to a woman, I'm not committing to an airline.
嗨 - 嗨
Hi. -Hi.
还好么？
How are you?
吉娜，你知道德雷克咖啡蛋糕么？
Gina, do you know Drake's Coffee Cake?
上面包了层棕色甜面包的清蛋糕
The plain cake with the sweet brown crumbs on the top.
没错，那个多少钱？ - 小号♥的？
Right. How much do they cost? -The junior?
不，大号♥的 - 不，小号♥的
No, the full-size. -No, junior.
你没说“小号♥的” - 我很小的时候起就不吃这种东西了
You didn't say "junior." -I haven't had one since I was little.
真的？
Really?
你应该为自己扼腕叹息你给我赶快消失
You should be ashamed of yourself. I want you out of here.
怎么样？ - 好得很
How you doing? -Good enough.
真是，她很性感，对吧？ - 是啊
Boy, she's sexy, isn't she? -Yeah.
(墙壁在晃动显得不够真实)
你相信那家伙么？ - 哪个家伙？
Do you believe that guy? -What guy?
我隔壁 - 那个吓人的家伙？
My neighbour. -That creepy guy?
他觉得我在调戏她么？ - 他看起来很不爽
Did he think I was flirting with her? -He didn't seem too pleased.
我应该再来一块牛排加薯条洋葱圈
Maybe I'll get a steak with French-fried onion rings.
嘿，你们猜怎么着？
Hey, you know what?
我刚想起了一些事
I just remembered something.
我昨晚梦见那家伙了，真不可思议
I had a dream about that guy last night. This is amazing.
奇怪什么？你以前见过他嘛 - 我都好几个月没见他了
Amazing? You've seen him before. -I haven't seen him in months.
什么样的梦？
What was the dream?
他在缅因州的肯尼邦克港说相声
He was doing standup comedy in Kennebunkport, Maine...
就在一间杀气腾腾的夜店
...in this really ominous nightclub.
舞台在峭壁上，观众就…
The stage was on a cliff and the audience...
把所有的演员都推下去了
...was throwing all the comics off.
我好像在那表演过
I think I've played there.
我经历过很多超出正常能力的事情
I've had a lot of paranormal stuff happen to me.
你是有点不正常
You're a little paranormal.
说出一个你有超能力的例子来
Name one paranormal thing that happened to you.
我预知我会谢顶 - 你老爹就谢顶 (实际上乔治的父亲的第二个扮演者并不秃头)
I knew I was gonna be bald. -Your father's bald.
秃头是由母亲的基因决定的，杰瑞
Baldness is inherited from the mother's side, Jerry.
你老妈也是秃头
But your mother's bald too.
乔治，对了，我朋友去找通灵的看看
George, you know, my friend goes to a psychic.
真的？ - 找时间咱们去看看
Really? -We should go sometime.
我要去，给我预约
I'd love to go. Make an appointment.
通灵，度假，要不要找个工作再说？
Psychics, vacations. How about getting a job?
我刚被炒掉了 - 好吧，咱们走
I just got fired. -All right. Let's get out of here.
我就琢磨甘地斋戒之前都吃些什么
I wonder what Gandhi ate before his fast.
我听说他干掉一盒子夹心饼干
I heard he used to polish off a box of Triscuits.
真的？ - 当然啦，甘地喜欢夹心饼干嘛
Really? -Oh, yeah. Gandhi loved Triscuits.
谁啊？
Who is it?
谁啊？ - 是我，吉娜
Who is it? -It's Gina!
谁？ - 马丁的女朋友
Who? -Martin's girlfriend.
马丁？ - 你的隔壁
Martin? -Your next-door neighbour.
噢，马丁！
Oh, Martin!
是马丁，我看他快不行了他想服药自杀
It's Martin. I think he's dying. He tried to kill himself with pills.
什么？ - 快过来
What? -Come on.
让我穿上睡袍 - 没时间了
Let me get my robe. -We do not have time.
就两秒 - 来不及了
Two seconds. -There's no time.
连两秒都没有么？ - 好吧，快去
We don't have two seconds? -All right, go ahead.
不，算了 - 不，快去
No, forget it. -No, go ahead.
不必，我穿睡衣就可以了 - 快去穿
No, I'll just wear the pyjamas. -Just get it!
确定？ - 算了，来吧
Are you sure? -Forget it. Come on.
不，我还是去穿睡袍吧
No, I'll go get the robe.
还好了，又不是萨尼·冯·布罗那种昏迷（美国名流，1980年莫名昏迷，成植物人）
It's not too bad. It's not like a Sunny von Bulow coma.
医生说他随时都会出现转机的
Doctor said he should snap out of it any time.
你知道他为什么这么做吗？就因为我告诉他我们结束了
You know why he did this? Because I told him it was over.
我再也不想见到他了 - 真的？结束了？
I did not want to see him anymore. -Really? It's over?
我一分钟都受不了了
I could not stand it another minute.
昨天，他掀翻了一个卖♥♥热狗的摊子
Yesterday, he turned over a hot dog stand...
就因为他认为那个男人盯上我了
...because he thought the man looked at me.
接着，他在走廊里看见你… 他妒火中烧
Then, after he saw you in the hall... He was crazy with jealousy.
噢，天哪
Oh, boy.
他有说我什么吗？
Did he say anything about me?
他看不上你
He does not like you.
此外种种迹象表明他同样不喜欢德雷克蛋糕
And all indications are he does not like Drake's Coffee Cake.
他说的？ - 他吵了一晚上就是吵这个
He said that? -He was screaming about it all night.
说它是那样甜蜜你吞下它的时候还令它破碎
How it's too sweet and it falls apart when you eat it.
抱歉让你们误会了，朋友间聊聊而已
I'm sorry if I caused any trouble. I was just being friendly.
我不这么认为
I wasn't.
是吗？
You weren't?
是的，我想你好几次了
No. I have thought about you many times.
你想过我么？ - 当然
Have you thought about me? -Of course.
全部和我交待了吧
Tell me everything.
你确定他什么都听不到？
Are you sure he can't hear anything?
马丁
Martin.
马丁！
Martin!
我多么希望他就这么死了而不是昏迷不醒
I wish he was not in a coma. I wish he was dead.
我这就把呼吸机拔掉
I would like to pull the plug out from him!
这个我还是等得了的
I would wait on that one.
我理解你的感受，可时下的陪审员…
I know how you feel, but juries today...
你猜不到他们会怎么看待这事
...you never know how they're gonna look at this.