宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S03E05

Part 2 Dec. 8, 2021, 10:47 a.m.

Jerry thinks I'm overreacting, but you understand lunch.
我不知道午饭我对那个一无所知
I don't understand lunch. I don't know anything about it.
听着，我让人丢了饭碗并不表示我让他变成流浪汉，对吧？
Just because I got the guy fired doesn't mean I turned him into a bum, does it?
他做了什么？ - 他故意…
What did he do? -He purposely...
念错我的名字
...mispronounced my name.
他不说“克斯坦萨”
Instead of saying Costanza...
总是说：“砍死他撒砍死他撒”（意译：我不明白你）
...he'd say, " Can't stand you. Can't stand you."
还记得吗，他有一次让我闻自己的臭袜子
Remember, he made me smell my own gym socks once?
我记得他还让你把内♥裤♥戴在头上戴了整整一堂课
I remember he made you wear a jock on your head for a whole class.
那个带子就这么垂下来… - 行了，行了
And the straps were hanging down... -Okay, okay.
你没上过他的体育课
You never even had him for gym.
我上过他的卫生课记得他的牙吗？
I had him for hygiene. Remember his teeth?
就跟从地里掘出来的尸体的一样
It was like from an exhumed corpse.
一嘴小米粒子牙
Little baked beans.
说嘛，到底怎么回事
Come on, tell me what happened.
唉，好吧
Well, okay.
我说过的，这家伙讨厌我
As I said, the guy had it in for me.
他给我体育不及格，真的
He actually failed me in gym. Me.
还有那对抽筋的史尼策双胞胎
And those spastic Schnitzer twins.
砍死他撒！ - 什么事，海曼先生？
Can't stand you! -Yes, Mr. Heyman?
你的内♥裤♥在体育课时露在短裤外面了
Your underwear was sticking out of your shorts during gym class.
额，因为我穿得是平角裤
Well, that's because I wear boxer shorts.
平角裤，哈？
Boxer shorts, huh?
什么牌的？ - 我也不很清楚，我…
What brand? -I'm not really sure. L...
啊，好，那咱们看看吧
Yeah, well, let's take a look!
他给我了个“挤挤”
He gave me a wedgie.
第二天他就被炒了
And he got fired the next day.
为什么叫“挤挤”
Why do they call it a "wedgie"?
因为他们把内♥裤♥从后面拉起来直到它…
Because the underwear is pulled up from the back until it...
挤进去
...wedges in.
还有一种叫“核弹挤挤”的
They also have an atomic wedgie.
就是把裤腰的部分…
Now, the goal there is to actually get the waistband...
拉到头上来
...on top of the head.
很少见的
It's very rare.
男生真变♥态♥ - 那你们女生呢？
Boys are sick. -Well, what do girls do?
我们就是逗弄一个人直到她患上饮食失调
We just tease someone till they develop an eating disorder.
我得回图书馆，和他谈谈
I gotta go back to the library and talk to him.
我得知道是不是我毁了他的人生
I gotta find out if I'm the guy that ruined his life.
嘿，哥们，你最好回家去
Hey, babaloo, you better get home.
图书馆的那个布克曼他正等着你呢
This guy Bookman from the library, he's waiting for you.
图书馆的妙处就在于…
What's amazing about the library...
在这里你可以直接走进去…
...is here's a place where you can go in...
随意拿起你想看的书他们就给你了…
...take out any book you want. They just give it to you...
跟你说：“看完拿回来”
...and say, " Bring it back when you're done."
让人想起孩提时大家都有的那种可怜兮兮的朋友…
Reminds you of that pathetic friend everybody had as a kid...
他让你借走他的任何东西只要你做他的朋友就成
...that would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend.
图书馆就是这样它是政♥府♥资助的可怜朋友
That's what the library is. It's a government-funded pathetic friend.
这就是为什么大家都欺负图书馆
That's why everybody bullies the library.
“我准时还，我晚些还”
"I'll bring it back on time, I'll bring it back late.
“你能把我怎么样？罚我五分钱？”
What are you gonna do, charge me a nickel? "
您能来我很高兴咱们可以把这事说说清楚了
I'm glad you're here so we can straighten this out.
来杯茶？ - 有咖啡吗？
Cup of tea? -Got any coffee?
咖啡？ - 对，咖啡
Coffee? -Yeah, coffee.
没有，我不喝咖啡 - 你不喝？
No, I don't drink coffee. -You don't?
那速溶咖啡呢？ - 没有，我不…
How about instant coffee? -No, I don't...
速溶的也没有？ - 嗯，我不…
No instant coffee? -Well, I don't...
谁没有罐速溶咖啡呢？ - 我没有
Who doesn't have instant coffee? -I don't.
买♥♥一罐福尔杰速溶咖啡放橱柜里之后就把它忘了
Buy a jar of Folgers crystals, put it in the cupboard, you forget about it.
等你需要的时候，它还在那一罐恒久远
When you need it, it's there. It lasts forever.
咖啡是冻干的冻干的晶状咖啡
It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried crystals.
是么？我得记住这些
Really? I'll have to remember that.
你1971年借了这本书 - 是的，我1971年就还了
You took this book out in 1971. -Yes, and I returned it in 1971.
是啊，71年是我第一年参加工作
Yeah, '71, that was my first year on the job.
那是图书馆的厄运年是美国的厄运年
Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America.
嬉皮士烧毁图书卡
Hippies burning library cards.
艾比·霍夫曼（美60年代“反文化”运动领袖）让大家都去偷书
Abbie Hoffman telling everybody to steal books.
我不会凭一个人的头发长短和音乐品味去判断他
I don't judge a man by hair length or musical taste.
摇滚乐跟我无缘
Rock was never my bag.
可你要敢在纽约公共图书馆打扮成那样，我要你好看
But you put on a pair of shoes in the New York Public Library, fella.
布克曼先生，你看
Look, Mr. Bookman...
我确实还了我记得很清楚
...I returned that book. I remember it very specifically.
你是个喜剧演员是让人们笑的
You're a comedian. You make people laugh.
我尽自己所能 - 所以你觉得这事就是个大笑话？！
I try. -You think this is all a big joke?
不，我没有
No, I don't.
我在电视上看到过你想起来欠书名单上有你的名字
I saw you on TV once. I remembered your name from my list.
我就查了一下果不其然，还真有你
I looked it up. Sure enough, it checked out.
你以为自己是个名人法律就管不了你了？
You think because you're a celebrity, somehow the law doesn't apply?
你就可以凌驾于法律之上？ - 当然不是
You're above the law? -Certainly not.
那我告诉你，搞笑的小子
Well, let me tell you something, funny boy.
你知道那枚小小的印♥章♥ 那刻有“纽约公共图书馆”的印♥章♥
You know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"?
它对你也许毫无意义
That may not mean anything to you.
可对我却意义重大重大得简直无以复加
But that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot.
笑，笑啊，想笑你就笑我见过你这号♥人
Sure, go ahead. Laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before.
浮于表面，总是大吵大闹招摇过市
Flashy, making a scene, flaunting convention.
是，我知道你怎么想的
Yeah, I know what you're thinking:
你想：“这家伙干嘛这么大惊小怪的不就一本破书么”
"Why's this guy making such a stink about old library books?"
好，那我再告诉告诉你，小子
Well, let me give you a hint, junior.
也许没有图书馆，我们可以生活也许，像你我这样的人可以
Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe.
我们已经老了，不能去改变世界
Sure, we're too old to change the world.
可那些现在正坐下来看书的孩子们呢…
But what about that kid sitting down opening a book right now...
他们在当地的图书馆里…
...in a branch at the local library...
看着《帽子里的猫》和《中国五兄弟》里面…
...and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees...
嘘嘘的图片
...in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers?
他们不是应该得到更多吗？
Doesn't he deserve better?
要是你觉得这事只不过是过期欠款和丢书而已的话…
Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books...
你就大错特错了这事关孩子们的权益…
...you better think again. This is about that kid's right...
他们有权在阅读的同时思想不被歪曲
...to read a book without getting his mind warped.
也许这些话能让你有所领悟，宋飞
Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld.
也许你就应该被这样教训一下你和你那帮死党
Maybe that's how you get your kicks, you and your good-time buddies.
现在我要点醒你了，快乐男孩
Well, I got a flash for you, joy-boy:
派对结束了
Party time is over.
你有七天时间，宋飞
You got seven days, Seinfeld.
也就是一个星期
That is one week.
怎么了？ - 是布克曼，图书馆督察
What's wrong? -It's Bookman, the library cop.
那又怎么样？我又没做错什么 - 我现在应该上班的
So? I didn't do anything wrong. -I'm supposed to be at work.
我会被解雇的我真不该到这来
I could get fired. I never should've come here.
那你为什么不走呢？
Why don't you leave?
我不能啊
I can't.
我不会付欠款的！那书我1971年就还了！
There's no way I'm paying that! I returned that book in 1971!
我有证人，她叫雪莉·贝克
I have a witness. Sherry Becker.
她穿着橙色的裙子
She wore an orange dress.
还给我一片超醒口香糖
She gave me a piece of Black Jack gum.
我说：“甘草口香糖他们接下来会怎么想呢？”
I said, " Liquorice gum. What will they think of next?"
我都记得的！
I remember it!
贝克，贝克…
Becker, Becker...
凯文上的公立学校
Kevin went to a public school.
他14岁
He's the 14 year old.
我们那时想让玛莎去私立学校…
We were gonna send Marsha to a private school...
因为在某些方面，他们…
...because in some ways, they don't...
学到的不够多，我这么想
...learn enough, I think.
那么，雪莉，你还记得我们在图书馆那天的事吗？
So, Sherry, what do you remember about that day at the library?
我记忆犹新
I remember it like it was yesterday.
那是个周五的下午
It was a Friday afternoon.
我穿着一条紫色的裙子 - 紫色的？
I wore a purple dress. -Purple?
你确定不是橙色的？ - 当然了
You sure it wasn't orange? -Positive.
我嘴里嚼着健齿口香糖
And I was chewing Dentyne.
我总是嚼健齿的
I always chewed Dentyne.
记得吗，杰瑞？健齿？
Remember, Jerry? Dentyne?
不是超醒？ - 甘草口香糖？从没嚼过
No Black Jack? -Liquorice gum? Never.
还有呢？
What else?
我们…